Artists I Refuse To Like ....EVER

clutnuckle · 02-01-2010, 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alfred

I refuse to like Refused. How they get so much praise for all that whiny, pseudo-political crap they recorded in the 90's is beyond me. The Shape Of Punk To Come is probably the most overrated album I've ever heard: an hour of nothing but pointless bitching and crappy poems, repetitive downtuned guitar riffing and horrible feedback that somehow justifies the "experimental" nature of the album. It's only the shape of punk to come if you consider punk to be the music of those awful "screamo" bands that show up on Warped Tour every year.

Refused, Shape of Punk to Come, eh? That brings this to mind:

SAW THIS IN A SHOP WITH “THIS ****ING ROCKS” STICKER ON IT SO TOOK IT TO COUNTER AND SLAMMED IT DOWN AND SHOUTED AT DUDE WORKING THERE “HOW MUCH?” WHEN HE ANSWERED I SAID “NOT THE PRICE DILLWEED, HOW MUCH DOES IT ROCK?” DILWEED’S ANSWER IS LIKE SHRUG, “I dunno, a lot?” WHICH WINDS ME UP ‘COS HE’S BEING A PUSSY ABOUT IT AND I SAY “I WANT IT TO ROCK MY SOCKS CLEAN OFF MY FEET, IS IT GONNA DO THAT?” AND HE’S ALL LIKE, “Yeah it will.” SO I’M LIKE, “YEAH I’LL TAKE IT.”

GET IT HOME AND PUT IT ON, TURNING IT UP AND SOME GUY STARTS TALKING TO HIS ‘BABY’ ABOUT FASHION AND I START THINKING ‘WHAT KIND OF NANCY BULL**** HAVE I GOT INTO HERE?’ BUT THEN SOME NOISE STARTS HUMMING AND I START THINKING ‘WHAT KIND OF NOISE RUBBISH HAVE I GOT MYSELF INTO HERE?’ AND THEN AFTER A MINUTE OF GETTING ANGRY COS I GOT BURNED INTO BUYING SOME ARTSY RUBBISH THE BAND KICK IN ALL JABBING RIFFS AND YELLING TIL THEY’RE HORSE AND I GO WILD, SMASHING UP THE ROOM WITH PART ANGER AND PART HXXXXX JOY. MAN, THERE’S LIKE A PIT GOING IN MY LIVING ROOM AND IT’S JUST ME AND I’M TEARING INTO **** AND THE CURTAINS ARE FALLING DOWN AND MOM’S YELLING FROM HER BED BUT I PRETEND LIKE I DON’T HEAR HER CRIES COS I’M GOING APE **** ROCKING OUT AND BEING ALL HXXXXXXCORE AND ****.

BUT SOON I’M GETTING ANGRY AGAIN COS, YEAH, THEY KNOW HOW TO ROCK OUT THESE BOYS DO, SO WHAT I WANNA KNOW IS WHY THEY GOTTA KEEP INTERRUPTING MY SLAM DANCING WITH SOME TECHNO BULL**** OR SOME QUIET BITS AND EVEN, GET THIS, A VIOLIN!! I MEAN, I’M THERE ROCKING OUT LIKE I KNOW HOW AND THEN THERE’S THIS ****ING VIOLIN, AND YEAH, IT’S PLAYING A QUALITY BIT OF A TUNE, BUT WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF SOME OF MY CREW WALKED IN AT THAT MOMENT AND SAW ME ALL SWEATY AND BLEEDING AND LISTENING TO A ****ING VIOLIN??? I’D HAVE TO KILL MYSELF OR ALL OF THEM AS THE SHAME OF IT ALL WOULD BE TOO MUCH.

SO IT WAS TOO STOP STARTY AND ONE MINUTE I WAS SLAMMIN’ ROUND THE LIVING ROOM WITH MOMMA HOLLERING AT ME TO TURN IT OFF AND BRING HER HER MEDICATION AND THE NEXT MINUTE THEY’RE SINGING WITH NO DISTORTION ON THE GUITARS OR DOING SOME JAZZ OR SOME ****, SO I MARCHED BACK TO THE SHOP AND SLAM THE CD DOWN IN FRONT OF THAT SAME WUSSY MOFO AND SAY “MY SOCKS ARE LIKE STILL ON DUDE!” AND HE SIGHS AND TAKES IT FROM ME WITH NO QUESTIONS AND SAYS, “you wanna swap it for something else or do you want cash?” SO I WAS ALL LIKE, “CASH OF COURSE, I AIN’T BUYING FROM A SHOP THAT HAS STICKERS SAYING ‘THIS ROCKS’ ON STUFF THAT DOESN’T.”

SO HE SAYS, “you didn’t like it too much then, I didn’t think you would.” AND I SAID “WHAT THE ****’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? I LIKE SOME OF IT, THEY JUST NEED TO KEEP IT INTENSE ALL THE WAY THROUGH NOT JUST WHEN IT SUITS THEM.” AND HE SAYS, ALL ****Y LIKE “well, Refused made this album to move the hardcore scene on as they thought that it was stagnating and lacking ideas and made for people like you who were all about an image and a particular lifestyle rather than open mindedness and expression. They did it, I think, but sadly there will always be people like you who were left behind. I mean, does it get much better than when they come back in after the jazz section on “Deadly Rhythm”? That bit sounds like a brutal attack, it’s insane! Or, or the violin intro to “Tannhäuser”? When those drums come in it’s epic, really groundbreaking for a hardcore record. But, if you didn’t like it…”

I BARELY GIVE THE GUY TIME TO OPEN THE TILL BEFORE I LIFT IT RIGHT UP FROM THE COUNTER PULLING ALL THE WIRES OUT WITH IT AND CRACK IT OVER HIS HEAD THE PRICK. THEN I PUT IT THROUGH THE WINDOW AND KNOCK OVER A COUPLE OF SHELVES WORTH OF CD’S BEFORE STAMPING ON THE GUY’S HEAD AND LEGGING IT. AS I LEFT I HEARD HIM SHOUT “Philistine!” I’M GONNA GO HOME AND LOOK THAT ****ING WORD UP TO WORK OUT WHETHER THAT LITTLE QUEER HAS GOT ANOTHER VISIT COMING OR NOT.

gunnels · 02-01-2010, 07:26 PM

I love ozzystylez' reviews.

clutnuckle · 02-01-2010, 07:27 PM

Easily one of my favorites

Dieselboy · 02-01-2010, 07:30 PM

Man I thought I got excited about music... The part about the violin had me cracking up. ><

~~CAPTAIN CAVEMAN~~ · 02-01-2010, 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roemilca

Beyonce- She's got an amazing voice, but her songs have no structure what-so-ever. It's not just that, they're just boring.

hahah seriously????????

Alfred · 02-01-2010, 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by clutnuckle

...

This is amazing.

By the way, my comment about Refused was a joke. I love Refused; The Shape Of Punk To Come is one of my all time favorite albums.

I was about to reply to this thread with "I refuse to like Refused" cuz it's kind of catchy, y'know, and then the idea popped into my head to rip on Refused and see if anyone catches on. Which to my disappointment, no one did.

sidewinder · 02-01-2010, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by clutnuckle

Refused, Shape of Punk to Come, eh? That brings this to mind:

SAW THIS IN A SHOP WITH “THIS ****ING ROCKS” STICKER ON IT SO TOOK IT TO COUNTER AND SLAMMED IT DOWN AND SHOUTED AT DUDE WORKING THERE “HOW MUCH?” WHEN HE ANSWERED I SAID “NOT THE PRICE DILLWEED, HOW MUCH DOES IT ROCK?” DILWEED’S ANSWER IS LIKE SHRUG, “I dunno, a lot?” WHICH WINDS ME UP ‘COS HE’S BEING A PUSSY ABOUT IT AND I SAY “I WANT IT TO ROCK MY SOCKS CLEAN OFF MY FEET, IS IT GONNA DO THAT?” AND HE’S ALL LIKE, “Yeah it will.” SO I’M LIKE, “YEAH I’LL TAKE IT.”

GET IT HOME AND PUT IT ON, TURNING IT UP AND SOME GUY STARTS TALKING TO HIS ‘BABY’ ABOUT FASHION AND I START THINKING ‘WHAT KIND OF NANCY BULL**** HAVE I GOT INTO HERE?’ BUT THEN SOME NOISE STARTS HUMMING AND I START THINKING ‘WHAT KIND OF NOISE RUBBISH HAVE I GOT MYSELF INTO HERE?’ AND THEN AFTER A MINUTE OF GETTING ANGRY COS I GOT BURNED INTO BUYING SOME ARTSY RUBBISH THE BAND KICK IN ALL JABBING RIFFS AND YELLING TIL THEY’RE HORSE AND I GO WILD, SMASHING UP THE ROOM WITH PART ANGER AND PART HXXXXX JOY. MAN, THERE’S LIKE A PIT GOING IN MY LIVING ROOM AND IT’S JUST ME AND I’M TEARING INTO **** AND THE CURTAINS ARE FALLING DOWN AND MOM’S YELLING FROM HER BED BUT I PRETEND LIKE I DON’T HEAR HER CRIES COS I’M GOING APE **** ROCKING OUT AND BEING ALL HXXXXXXCORE AND ****.

BUT SOON I’M GETTING ANGRY AGAIN COS, YEAH, THEY KNOW HOW TO ROCK OUT THESE BOYS DO, SO WHAT I WANNA KNOW IS WHY THEY GOTTA KEEP INTERRUPTING MY SLAM DANCING WITH SOME TECHNO BULL**** OR SOME QUIET BITS AND EVEN, GET THIS, A VIOLIN!! I MEAN, I’M THERE ROCKING OUT LIKE I KNOW HOW AND THEN THERE’S THIS ****ING VIOLIN, AND YEAH, IT’S PLAYING A QUALITY BIT OF A TUNE, BUT WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF SOME OF MY CREW WALKED IN AT THAT MOMENT AND SAW ME ALL SWEATY AND BLEEDING AND LISTENING TO A ****ING VIOLIN??? I’D HAVE TO KILL MYSELF OR ALL OF THEM AS THE SHAME OF IT ALL WOULD BE TOO MUCH.

SO IT WAS TOO STOP STARTY AND ONE MINUTE I WAS SLAMMIN’ ROUND THE LIVING ROOM WITH MOMMA HOLLERING AT ME TO TURN IT OFF AND BRING HER HER MEDICATION AND THE NEXT MINUTE THEY’RE SINGING WITH NO DISTORTION ON THE GUITARS OR DOING SOME JAZZ OR SOME ****, SO I MARCHED BACK TO THE SHOP AND SLAM THE CD DOWN IN FRONT OF THAT SAME WUSSY MOFO AND SAY “MY SOCKS ARE LIKE STILL ON DUDE!” AND HE SIGHS AND TAKES IT FROM ME WITH NO QUESTIONS AND SAYS, “you wanna swap it for something else or do you want cash?” SO I WAS ALL LIKE, “CASH OF COURSE, I AIN’T BUYING FROM A SHOP THAT HAS STICKERS SAYING ‘THIS ROCKS’ ON STUFF THAT DOESN’T.”

SO HE SAYS, “you didn’t like it too much then, I didn’t think you would.” AND I SAID “WHAT THE ****’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? I LIKE SOME OF IT, THEY JUST NEED TO KEEP IT INTENSE ALL THE WAY THROUGH NOT JUST WHEN IT SUITS THEM.” AND HE SAYS, ALL ****Y LIKE “well, Refused made this album to move the hardcore scene on as they thought that it was stagnating and lacking ideas and made for people like you who were all about an image and a particular lifestyle rather than open mindedness and expression. They did it, I think, but sadly there will always be people like you who were left behind. I mean, does it get much better than when they come back in after the jazz section on “Deadly Rhythm”? That bit sounds like a brutal attack, it’s insane! Or, or the violin intro to “Tannhäuser”? When those drums come in it’s epic, really groundbreaking for a hardcore record. But, if you didn’t like it…”

I BARELY GIVE THE GUY TIME TO OPEN THE TILL BEFORE I LIFT IT RIGHT UP FROM THE COUNTER PULLING ALL THE WIRES OUT WITH IT AND CRACK IT OVER HIS HEAD THE PRICK. THEN I PUT IT THROUGH THE WINDOW AND KNOCK OVER A COUPLE OF SHELVES WORTH OF CD’S BEFORE STAMPING ON THE GUY’S HEAD AND LEGGING IT. AS I LEFT I HEARD HIM SHOUT “Philistine!” I’M GONNA GO HOME AND LOOK THAT ****ING WORD UP TO WORK OUT WHETHER THAT LITTLE QUEER HAS GOT ANOTHER VISIT COMING OR NOT.

LOL...awesome. So I take it based on the replies that this came from somewhere else, not from you?

I'M PUTTING THIS FUCKING ALBUM ON MY IPOD FOR TOMORROW!!!1!!1

gunnels · 02-01-2010, 08:31 PM

I'm downloading it right now.

Alfred · 02-01-2010, 08:37 PM

Wait, you mean you haven't heard the album that moved the hardcore scene on as Refused thought that it was stagnating and lacking ideas and made for people like you who were all about an image and a particular lifestyle rather than open mindedness and expression?

gunnels · 02-01-2010, 08:40 PM

^Fuck this shit I'm going to the mall.

02-01-2010, 08:37 PM	#369 (permalink)
Alfred one big soul Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Canada Posts: 5,096	Wait, you mean you haven't heard the album that moved the hardcore scene on as Refused thought that it was stagnating and lacking ideas and made for people like you who were all about an image and a particular lifestyle rather than open mindedness and expression? __________________ LAST.FM / VINYL COLLECTION / RYM

02-01-2010, 07:27 PM	#363 (permalink)
clutnuckle Music Addict Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: -_-_-_-_~__~-~_-`_`-~_-`-~-~ Posts: 1,276	Easily one of my favorites

02-01-2010, 07:30 PM	#364 (permalink)
Dieselboy Music Addict Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 608	Man I thought I got excited about music... The part about the violin had me cracking up. ><