Send The Batlord Avant Garde **** that He Probably Hates
 

Just like Love/Hate and that new guy's thread, I'm taking recs for random albums. But I'm asking for albums that my Manowar-loving ass probably can't stand. Send me harsh noise, power electronics, non-metal drone, avant garde, weird modern classical, field recordings, musique concrete, ultimate free jazz (not a genre, but you know what I mean), etc. Anything that I'll probably hate. Just so long as it's bizarre and possibly unlistenable.

Try to keep metal recs to a minimum, unless you really think it'll offend my ears or confuse me, since I've listened to my share of experimental metal, and I'll probably just find it boring rather than offensive (or just like it). Frownland is immune from this quasi-rule, since he pretty much knows what'll grate on me at this point.

If I've already listened to it, or if I'm relatively familiar to the genre (like no wave), I might turn an album down, but if I'm interested enough I might just say "**** it" and do it anyway (I'm fine with giving DNA yet another shot at wowing me). Otherwise, anything's game. I've already got a prog rec thread, but as I've let that die, I'll be open to prog, so long as it's not generic, 70s, Genesis-worship prog. Keep it ultra-weird, nawmsayin'?

Only rule right off the bat (may be amended and/or expanded): no more than four albums per person during a rec cycle. But if I don't get enough recs, I might just say **** it and let Frownland assault me with all the ear-raping trash he wants.

I'll try to review at least one album a day, but as I'm on beer #3, I can't promise that I'll have the motivation to not flake on this thread when I sober up. Just a heads up.

And go!

Current recs:



(Frownland) Jesus the Carpenter - Variations for Piano and Electronics
(DwnWthVwls) Whatever the **** trap **** he rec'd.
(Mondo Bungle) 301 - Weed Problem II-V
(Goofle) Various Artists - PC Music Volume 1
(Goofle) Weasel Walter/Mary Halvorson/Peter Evans - Mechanical Malfunction
(Frownland) Kaoru Abe & Masayuki Takayanagi - Mass Projection
(Neapolitan The Poops - Monkety Burp
(Mondo Bungle) Trouble Salad - Thee Temple Ov Psychick Salade
(Frownland) Sun Ra - Marie C Couvent Elementary NOLa. 5-5-89
(DeadChannel) Eliane Radigue - La Trilogie De La Mort
(Chula) Karizma - Document
(Justthefacts) Grouper - Dragging A Dead Deer Up A Hill
(Frownland) Akos Rozmann - 12 Stationer VI
(bob.) Caroliner Rainbow Open Wound Chorale - Rise of the Common Woodpile
(Trollheart) Vangelis - The City
(Josef K) Sonic Youth - SYR 4
(Trollheart) Dan Fogelberg - The Innocent Age
(DwnWthVwls) Emilie Autumn - Opheliac
(Stephen) John Coltrane - Interstellar Space

Hell yes.

Wolves in Sheepskin - A Van Per Oven
Keiji Haino - Watashi Dake

**** it. I'm gonna suggest this to you too. See what you make of it. If nothing else, you'll probably appreciate Richard Burton's superb narration and the fact that Phil Lynott is on it. Or maybe not.
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped...WayneTWOTW.jpg

Daydream Society - For Now

;D

(It'll be the first album to pop up upon clicking the bottom link in my signature)

What a dick.. you made a thread for handful of people who like bad music to participate in.

Jaap Blonk, Koichi Makigami, Paul Dutton, Phil Minton & David Moss ‎– Five Men Singing

:clap: I think you might win.

Two more things: A.) if I can't find a non-Youtube source, I'll probably ask for a quality download link, since I'd rather not have to resort to ****ty Youtube quality, (if it's your own recording, then providing a link beforehand would really be appreciated), and B.) once I've submitted a review, I'll be willing to discuss it with all ya'll afterward, to illuminate what exactly I might have missed the first time around, and then give it another go at another point.

Well... yeah. There's already two threads for non-earhate music, and I would hate to repeat what those dudes are already doing. Besides, I have a pretentious streak of my own, and I'd like to nurture it, if for no other reason than to shut Frownland's ugly, handlebar-mustachioed face.

Gonna pass on this. I've already listened to it semi-many times, and already love it. If they've got something else to **** my mind with, then feel free, but I'm already sold on this album.

I love that album!

^Me too, but I think it'll be a difficult one for Batlard.

So what if we have some super free jazz that is definitely ear rapey but that you also might love?

It's great! I was listening to it when I saw this thread. That's fate.

P.S.: I just moved you from the list of cool people to the list of ultra-cool people.

I'll send you a link, mine's not on YT, apart from one track.

Beware, Batty! Throw in a quick "no twenty-four hour albums" rule before Frownland gets any ideas!!! :yikes:

Machine+ - Sketch Your Apocalypse
The Flaming Lips - 7 Skies H3

k 24 hour song and noise album should be good

I would never recommend a 24 hour album. 4 and a half is as far as I'll go.

Jesus the Carpenter - Variations for Piano and Electronics

Gonna attempt a listen at that myself today.

And lol guess I am that evil.

Here Batty

Considering my previous experience with free jazz, then it's definitely acceptable.

Much appreciated. Download link, Bandcamp, whatever, so long as the sound quality isn't terrible (unless ****ty sound quality is just part of the experience.)

Length doesn't matter. If I set a time limit on albums, then it would go against the spirit of the thread. I might have to divide my reviews of uber-long albums into multiple entries, but it's all good.

Can I recommend an album that is a trillion years long

Is that one or two albums? Two albums are cool, but I just need to know if it's one or two.

Whatevs.

It's not. Check your PMs.

@ Frowny - So your name is Christoper Bassett? Stealing your identity as we speak. Gotta credit card?

Got it, about to download.

Listen to 287 - n, it's only 87,708,958,333,333 hours long, one of the shorter ones. And one of the only ones I could get to play.

http://www.bullofheaven.com/

nah for real, listen to 301 - Weed Problem II-V. It's two hours and super cool.
https://ia700708.us.archive.org/17/i...emIi-V/301.mp3

Idk I didn't listen to em. I got side tracked.

Christoper is a stupid name and so is Christopher.

Can I call you Christache?

You know I like it better when you call me daddy.

Dude...


Shhhh.

Various Artists - PC Music Volume 1

A mighty fine collection of bubblegum bass.

There's no way he can hate this though.

He can listen to this after then:

Weasel Walter/Mary Halvorson/Peter Evans - Mechanical Malfunction

1. "I Kama Mahali Mbaya" (< You pretentious *******) 12:06: WTF even is this? I'm too drunk for this ****. I'm given to understand that this project is noise music or something, but it feels more like what I ignorantly associate with drone, or maybe a free form, arbitrary-ish, no wave thing. I'm pretty sure DNA was heavily influenced by Beafheart, and the dry production does remind me of them.

I'm trying to pay attention to a twelve-minute song, but again... drunk. With a little more reverb, the guitar would probably be more engaging, but then again, I like my weirdness to have a creepy, unsettling vibe, and I really don't know what emotions you're trying to evoke, assuming you're going for anything other than sonic obtuseness.

The guitar sounds formless, but the bass(?) has more structure (relatively speaking)... and now the bass(?) is starting to take precedence over the guitar in much the same formless fashion, so... yeah. Don't really know what I'm supposed to be getting from this.

I'm sure there's Beefheart, free jazz, noise, and possibly that no wave thing I'm hearing going on (though a disproportionate amount of my familiarity with obtuse, avant garde music comes from no wave, so I could be Trollhearting it), and since I'm a n00b with that ****, I'm really getting nothing from this.

I do kind of "like" the ringing, bell-like quality of the guitar sound though, but I'm being generous. **** this and **** you.

2. "Gravity Resistor" 26:59: Oh, god damn it. This is more than twice as long. Please god let this be different enough that I don't feel like I'm listening to a longer version of the first song.

I don't know what all that clicking is supposed to be, 4:30 or whatever into the song (guitar?), but... alright, not gonna pretend I care much more than I did earlier, so, meh. Less meh than before, but still largely meh.

I'm gonna try to remain as engaged as possible, just to be fair, but I can't promise anything. Solitaire may be needed not to turn this into background music.

I hate your face. Not even talking about your douchestache. Your entire mug is now offensive to me.

How much longer? Fifteen minutes? You're trolling the world, aren't you?

I'm looking at your band pic, and you look like a B&W combination of Leon Trotsky and Che Guevara. I'm sure that makes you happy.

Just looked, and there's no bass guitar, so I'm assuming one of your guitars is just tuned lower than the other? And what the **** are "reeds"?

Wait a minute. Is the Trotsky/Guevara guy even you? Cause I see some dude in a wicker hat in a mirror that looks more like you. WTF? That dude I thought was you has some hairy ****ing legs, man. Tell him/you to shave that ****. He/you looks half ape.

Sax no less boring than anything else. Eight minutes left. Just an endurance test now. Just a little over an hour to go after that. FML.

*singing* Gonna shoot myself! MYSELF!!! MYSELF!!! Shoot my-mother****ing-self in the temple, and request an... OPEN CASKET FUNERAL!!! *singing*

Three minutes left. Come on. Come on. I can do this. Need more beer. If it wasn't for constant piss breaks, this would not be possible.

I feel like I'm listening to this, but not listening to it at the same time. It's weird. Hurry up with this ****. One more minute, and it's piss break time.

*takes a piss, smokes a cigarette, drinks more beer*

Alright, lets do this ****.

3. "A Van Per Oven" 17:09: Why even have a title track? Minimalist guitar, backed with some mutant country. I'm sure this will task me as much as the last TWO SONGS, but at least there's... something... ah, whatever. **** you. Who's "singing", anyway? You? Aragorn? Aaaand it's gone.

Is the music player skipping? Nope. Kill me. This is like modern day Earth, but on bad heroin. Really, really bad heroin. Not weak heroin, just dirty heroin.

Through only desensitization, I am 3/4 of the way through this song without knowing how so much time has passed. I think I have found the key to getting through this. Booze helps. Kind of.

Minute and a half left! Yes! Only an hour left.

4. "Spastic Plastic" 09:47: Three and a half minutes in? When'd that happen?

Minute and a half left, and it's made no more of an impression on me than the rest. Hate, hate, hate, and a double-helping of extra hate. If I hate it any less, it's simply because it's only ten minutes long.

5. "Elephant Eye Test" 10:55: I'm going to start quoting ICP lyrics, just to show you what music I think is better than yours...


Just quoted all that from memory. Respect.

**** your sax, TBH. Sounds like an elephant being sexually assaulted. But in a bad way. Not a sexy way.

Oh ****, it's been a while and I haven't shat on your music. Still sucks. Like, still the elephant molestation. Balls to this.

6. "Gurgitating Pulp" 19:01: I never thought I'd be happy that an album I hated would only have forty minutes left to go, but there it is. I'm happy. In a hateful way. Still happy though.


I really can't think of anything else to say about this song/album. Nothing about it has made me like anything about it. I hope you get cancer.

Only five minutes in. ****ing ****bitch.

Nine and a half minutes left. Just ****ing end. God I hate everything about this.

Six more minutes, and then I'm taking another piss and smoke break before the home stretch. The home stretch is a twenty-minute song. Frownland is a ****. This was some quality trolling. I'd applaud you if I didn't want you dead. Oh yeah, still hate that elephant rape sax. I think a nineteen-minute sexual assault on an endangered species is worth life in prison.

Fifty seconds. Forty seconds. Thirty seconds. Twenty seconds. Ten seconds. Bam! Done with this ****ing song. That actually made it go by quicker. Now for a piss and a smoke.

7. "Nasty Vibrations" 20:37: Last song. Last twenty-minute ****ing song. Let's do this ****.

Abrasive feedback. I like this better than anything I've heard yet, simply because it's leaving a vague impression on me.

Yeah, but seriously, **** this ****.

****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****. And more ****. That's the sex pejorative. Not the excrement one. Though in all honesty, both would apply.

Nine more minutes? Alright, whatever. I've made it this far. It ain't ****. Though the music certainly is.

Am I even listening to this anymore? I think I am, but I can't be sure. Alright, yeah, I'm listening. I think. Trying at least, but I still don't know.

Four minutes left! God this thread sucks.

Hurry the god damn **** up and end! I just bought Witcher 2, and I need to get into that **** to wash the taste of this out of my mouth. Longest two minutes of my life.

One minute!

Ten seconds!

DONE!!! Oh god yes! I'm not at all exaggerating when I say that that was the most an album has ever tortured me. There is nothing about this album that I do not hate. If it wasn't for this thread, there is nothing on this Earth that could have possessed me to finish this album. Frownland needs to give up his music "career" and get a job selling women's perfume.

Final rating:


http://i.imgur.com/sQK8BKg.gifhttp://i.imgur.com/sQK8BKg.gifhttp://i.imgur.com/sQK8BKg.gifhttp://i.imgur.com/sQK8BKg.gifhttp://i.imgur.com/sQK8BKg.gifhttp://i.imgur.com/sQK8BKg.gifhttp://i.imgur.com/sQK8BKg.gifhttp://i.imgur.com/sQK8BKg.gifhttp://i.imgur.com/sQK8BKg.gif/10

That is the single funniest and most entertaining thing I have heard all year! ****ing A Batty! Now you know how I felt listening to Merzbow! You are a god.
:bowdown:

Pfft that album ain't **** dude. Just wait till you listen to this

Kaoru Abe & Masayuki Takayanagi - Mass Projection

And ftr if you weren't asking for music that you'd probably hate I'd have given a different album of ours. Indecent Vibrations might actually be something you would rock.

If I knew just how intensely awful your music was, I would have given you a massive pic of a middle finger before reviewing it. **** you. My offer to discuss your album and what about it I might be missing, so that I could give it another try, is rescinded. I'm never listening to that again.

It's amazing and we both know it.

Seriously though, Indecent Vibrations will contort your love knob.

Batty please keep this going for a long, that was absolutely ****ing hilarious please let us torture you, so we can hear you **** on our music taste.

Unfortunately, I have found a good quality Youtube vid of that Keiji Haino album, so expect that in a little bit. **** me.