Heaviest **** Ever
 

So, Electric Wizard's Dopethrone is often regarded as the heaviest album ever recorded. Let's test that theory. Post your heaviest **** and we'll all decide. And by "decide" I mean some people will listen to the Youtube videos you post and be all like, "Whoah, dude, that's heavy as ****!"

And for the purposes of this thread, "heavy" will be defined as a piece of music's quality to elicit a feeling of physical weight (as in a heavy doom metal riff). Speed is not necessarily heaviness.

P.S. I'm posting this in the General Music section because it doesn't have to be metal or rock to be heavy. Come at me, weird drone music.

And if your **** isn't as heavy as this, then please keep it to yourself. This isn't the thread for "Good Enough" trophies for music that's pretty heavy for non-doom metal.

The Flying Luttenbachers - De Futura



Possibly not the heaviest **** I know, but the first that came to mind.
A lot of it is in the build-ups, so no skipping around.


And since I'm on the subject of Zeuhl:
The first half of Koenjihyakkei's Guoth Dahha feels like half a dozen morbidly obese Godzillas.

Hail
Satan
Worship
Doom

There's a supermassive black hole with a mass like 21 billion times that of the sun or something absurd, so that's probably the heaviest **** ever. At least that humans know of

Anybody who mentions interstellar phenomena is a queer.

Your point being?

You're light in the shoes. This is not the thread for you, twinkle toes.

Fuck off, breeder

I win.

Conan has sat upon this throne in my world since the first time I heard Blood Eagle (at least in the realm of metal). The magma thick production, the massive humid guitar tone, the pacing and vocal delivery, the bone dry snare and soaking wet crashes.

4:47 in Gravity Chasm for maximum heavy.

Hard to pick a particular track from the album as the heaviest, the entire album is consistently gargantuan.



Possible runner-up:



I don't think Mammoth Grinder quite reaches the same level as Conan in terms of heaviness, mostly because the production isn't quite as thick. The incredible production work at Skyhammer Studios is almost its own instrument on their artist's albums.

As far as treble assault on the brain goes, yeah, I can't think of anything that overwhelming. Whether it's as heavy as the heaviest of bassy doom metal though, I don't know.

We finally agree on something

Now you're just trying to stroke my ego.

I'd rather be crushed in a neutron star

I'd rather you were too.

That makes 2 things we can agree on

That's just wrong, man. The only way your death will bring me pleasure is if you fight.

I'm on mobile so I can't post pictures, but the fact that no one has posted a photo of a huge shit kind of disappoints me.

The name of this thread is "Heaviest Cunt Ever". It's about over-sized vaginas. Don't you feel dumb?

In which case I'm questioning why nobody posted a picture of your mother.

Touche, bitch.

https://media.giphy.com/media/aNZjVWeD1hBCg/giphy.gif

It's all relative. What I think is heavy is probably not to someone else.

Soundgarden - The Day I Tried To Live


Babes in Toyland - Pearl


Truckfighters - Gargarisma


Nebula - Sonic Titan

No, it is not all relative. You're just a pussy.

I'd say the violence of the music is some of the more intense I've ever heard, which is what made me pick it. This is another good runner up

This isn't a comment on anybody's choices but just a comment in general. I think trying too hard to be heavy makes you less genuinely heavy. To be really heavy it has to also be very sincere and deal with difficult but universal themes. Serial killers and Nazism aren't so heavy as general disillusionment and acceptance of death. Music doesn't have to be sincere to be great, however. Most of the best hip hop and metal is in fact very insincere. The heaviest music to me are things like Beethoven's late string quartets and Mozart's Requiem.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-s0JoiuSiGb...ictures-18.jpg


The heaviest R&B I know ...
Screamin' Jay Hawkins - I put a spell on you


Screamin Jay Hawkins • Feast Of The Mau Maus

I mean, I agree that classical can be heavy. A lot of people say (half-seriously I assume) that if Beethoven was living now he would have been a metalhead, and his 5th Symphony might just be one of the first whispers of metal, but I don't imagine that, even in its wildest interpretations, that it could compete with something like Sunn O))) in the heaviness department.





Sunn O))) might just be the winners, here. I don't know if they would be the heaviest band ever on their own merits, but from what I hear of their speaker setup during their performances, they take volume to a whole 'nother level, that actually can affect people subconsciously. That's pretty ****ing heavy.

Also dig Sun O))) for whatever that's worth.

It is spell with two Ns like the amplifier company, the O))) was part of the company's logo, for whatever that's worth.

I've always thought Dopesmoker was 'heavier' than Dopethrone, but it could just be because I like the former much more.

Anyway I'll throw this into the ring, because well..

Yeah, I need to listen to more doom, but my vote definitley goes with dopesmoker. That record is ****ing massive.

I know it's already been addressed but I took a dump that filled the entire bowl. Pretty sure it was in Lil's shop a while back, but I didn't weigh it so I'm just speculating.

...Dying Fetus has some fairly heavy shit too.

On another note, why do you have to constantly use profanity in your thread titles? I'm just wondering is all. I just want to hear your explanation. What makes you think it's a good idea. That sort of thing.

It amuses me.

BTW, the reason I picked a neutron star instead of a black hole is that at least a neutron star is a substantive object, a black hole is a bizarre kind of negative anti-thing, but OTOH the "heavy" aspect is off the charts, so that case is pretty strong too.




And if you wanna make the point that Batty was talking about music and this is all just OT b/s, I'd say guilty as charged. I'm just trolling Batty's thread.

Well, that's as good an explanation as any I guess. You're in your late 20's, right? I can see how swearing could still be considered amusing to you. It just seems so unnecessary to me is all. You'll get there, just give it time. And I mean that in a depressingly bad, it doesn't get any better from here on out kinda way.

Oh **** off.














Jk, jk.