| jackhammer |
01-13-2008 03:04 PM |
Job Vacancy at N.U.F.C. 10-1-2008
Title: High level management position exists within multi-million people supported company.
Description: Must be able to work with and add to if possible over paid under achieving staff and understand the miss quided 50,000 people who genuinly believe you are the manager of a big company with huge ambitions.
Goals: You will be expected to get some stability into the company within the next 4 months and then spend unlimited funds adding to the over paid, under achieving sick notes that you allready have. Next year we understand that you may start the year badly as all our previous managers have but don't let this get you down we have an exceptional bonus scheme that will reward you for your failings by paying up the remaining 3 years of your lucrative 3 million a year contract when we allow you to leave and pursue a similar position at a more understanding club.
Salary: Just name your price and length of contract (please note this will be paid regardless how ****e you are)
Qualifications: No language skills as talking to the press is no longer required, no mathmatics as you can spend what the hell you like on anyone u like and we will sanction everything. However there is one must for the successfull candidate, on the off chance you manage to win a game u must be party to a night out in the pig n whistle with the owners of the club wearing your top of the range barcode uniform we will supply you with.
However if you do not succedd you can hide away while the owners rub shoulders with some bare bellied over weight nuggets who call for you head at every oportunity.
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