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Old 11-21-2010, 12:35 PM   #11 (permalink)
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What hit me the most about your post is the fact that you seem to be saying a lot, but not at any point stopping to say why. You said in the very first paragraph that Independent Artists are enjoying success, and then go on to list their every virtue. Sure, that's great, but where exactly are you going with this? Is there a reason for this that you've forgotten to include?

I read the entire thing, and then got to the end feeling like the entire thing was a pointless read, and the only thing that came to mind was "that's nice".
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Old 11-21-2010, 02:52 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Maybe his blog is a resource for highschool essays.
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Old 11-21-2010, 04:15 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Lol, that would certainly explain it, though it wouldn't do much for the sincerity of the article :P
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Old 11-21-2010, 04:59 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Alright, got lots of criticism on this post.

But hey, that's what I need. Bad writing leads to good writing through learning from your mistakes.

I understand what all of you are saying about it seeming not to go anywhere. I have tons of ideas, and I am learning how to communicate these ideas on to paper. I am just beginning my writing career, and I expect my writing to be pretty much crap right now, but there is no other way to learn. More posts will come, and I expect them to get better as they go.

Thanks for all the input guys.
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Old 11-21-2010, 05:17 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtistConnection View Post

...and I expect my riding to be pretty much crap right now...
I'm sorry it just had to be pointed out.
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Old 11-21-2010, 05:18 PM   #16 (permalink)
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dude, she's supposed to do the riding
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Old 11-21-2010, 05:18 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xEMGx View Post
I'm sorry it just had to be pointed out.

HAHAHAHA that is funny

Thanks for pointing it out
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Old 11-21-2010, 06:32 PM   #18 (permalink)
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So, what is the point here? if you let us know what you're aiming for here we might be able to help you get to where you want to be with it.
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Old 11-21-2010, 07:33 PM   #19 (permalink)
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I was wanting to get across the point that independent artists are important to the music industry because they are actively involved in their music, but often have to resort to other means of income as well to support their music. Instead of being big time artists and having every CD and single heard by millions, they take every opportunity to get their name out there. Basically, they are not playing to packed out stadiums, instead, they are working on their music alongside working other jobs sometimes. They are working hard, and they are all about the music.

This still does not get across the clear message that I want. But it might help you better understand. I know that there are still some generalizations in that though.
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Old 11-21-2010, 07:48 PM   #20 (permalink)
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I think you should practice writing about things that really mean something and put your own emotion into it. People respond to that kind of thing a lot better than they do a writeup about the state of a particular thing.

I understand what you're trying to do, but I think you should, as a writer, be more focused on what you're saying rather than how you're saying it.
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