*jerks off*

Dude, you're at the library for gawd sakes! Everyone knows you don't jerk off in the library.

You don't know me. I have secrets.

You'd be surprised at the things that people do at the library. :banghead:

It's why I don't use library computers.

Now allow me to spin a tale about how my life had taken a odd turn, flipped topsy-turvy, so I will just get seated comfortably and tell you of my rise to prominence in a little township called Bel Air.

In the town from whence I spent most of my childhood, I was playing a gay game of football with my schoolyard chaps, until a group of ruffians decided to cause an uproar in our peaceful neighborhood. At the worst I received some very minor bruises, but these had managed to put my mum in an uproar, so off she sent me to Bel Air, which was known to be devoid of violent minorities.

Oh how I pleaded with her, "But mother, I want to stay with my schoolyard chaps". Alas, my efforts were futile, as my clothing was no longer in the drawers, but in carrying cases which I took with me on the carriage. There was tea in champagne glasses, which I just found odd. This was surely a sign of good things to come.

I whistled for a buggy but all I got was a steed which I rode to my destination. When I got off the thing at around the crack of dawn, I looked back and said "I do not wish to be in the presence of your ungodly stench anymore".

And so my journey was at an end, and I could mark this new area of Bel Air for conquest.

Now you tell me.

:rofl:

My dreams are all wet.

Ah please elaborate.