jibber

Some of you may remember the saying "A stupid question
deserves a stupid answer." Here goes. Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics these are some questions people the world over are asking.

Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on
an International Tourism Website (frightening, isn't it!)

The answers are a joke but the questions were really asked.

Q:I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around
and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q:I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you
send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in
Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y,
which is, oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q:I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?(Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.

Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but
I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q:I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

__________________
What you've done becomes the judge of what you're going to do -- especially in other people's minds. When you're traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don't have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road.
William Least Heat Moon, Blue Highways

Your toughest competitor lives in your head. Some days his name is fear, or pain, or gravity. Stomp his ass.

HOOKED ON THE WHITE POWDER

Laces Out Dan!

Every Fu.cking country should die who had anything to do with these questions

__________________

holdfasthope

bahahahahahahahahaha

__________________




my band=www.myspace.com/wingsofthefallen

Scarlett O'Hara

Jibber, omg, omg, you just made me laugh out loud with a sore throat, it was too funny!!! OMG my favourite was:

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.



*tears*

__________________

holdfasthope

why arnt you on msn young lady

__________________




my band=www.myspace.com/wingsofthefallen

Scarlett O'Hara

*hides*

I'm lazy and can't be bothered multitasking! But I will come on soon!!!

__________________

holdfasthope

damn straight you will!!!

__________________




my band=www.myspace.com/wingsofthefallen

half_baked87

hahaha good lord, it blows my mind people are so ignorant of us, especially americans, which way is north in canada? it just proves again that the US's head is placed firmly up their ass. but on the real.. i'm gonna have to get me a ticket out west for these naked hippo races... or just walk on the railroad.

jibber

^haha, just remember to bring lots of water

__________________
What you've done becomes the judge of what you're going to do -- especially in other people's minds. When you're traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don't have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road.
William Least Heat Moon, Blue Highways

Your toughest competitor lives in your head. Some days his name is fear, or pain, or gravity. Stomp his ass.

HOOKED ON THE WHITE POWDER

either/or

these are hilarious! pure genius

__________________
Painstaking devotion and love
Surrendered to self preservation
From others who care for themselves
A blindness that touches perfection
But hurts just like anything else

Isolation, isolation, isolation