Well there you go. At least you won't get pregnant.

Easily.

Straight up 5th grade humor

Meaning when I was in 5th grade my cat had kittens and one night I had them all in my bed to snug while I slept. I told my classmates about it, and this one kid was like "did you sleep with them all at once or one at a time?" And obviously I said all at once. I hated 5th grade.

I was also accused of ****ing a dog in 5th grade. I think you're on to something.

There was a rumor spread about another kid in 5th grade who in a game of truth or dare licked a dog dick

Edit: *allegedly

1. What is the strangest dream you've ever had?
Maybe the one where the Pacific Ocean was on fire and I was running around with shopping cart trying pack all my stuff and flee inland.

2. What did you want to be when you were a kid?
Archeologist.

3. What is the hardest you've ever laughed, and why?
I don't know, but I'm sure I was in junior high.

4. What is your favourite food?
Popcorn.

5. Have you ever written someone a love letter?
Yes.

6. If you could magically make a mythical creature or extinct animal exist (again), which one would you choose?
Argentinosaurus, the largest land animal of all time. Can you just imagine seeing one of those take a shit?

I like all the dinosaur appreciation.
A new one:
1. Who is your favourite philosopher?
2. What is the most unlikely friendship you've made?
3. Who is your biggest actor/actress crush?
4. Do you have any phobias?
5. What is something you're surprisingly good at?
6. What would your ideal place to live be like?

I like all the dinosaur appreciation.
A new one:
1. Who is your favourite philosopher?

Thomas Nagel, perhaps

2. What is the most unlikely friendship you've made?

Idk for sure. One that comes to mind was with a Korean woman in Korea. Not that that is so amazing but it was surprising how close we became.

3. Who is your biggest actor/actress crush?

I like Aubrey Plaza. It used to be by far Shannon Doherty. I even went through a Jenny Garth phase. Oh man, and Winona Ryder.

4. Do you have any phobias?

Recently I think I might be developing a full-blown case of agoraphobia. Is there a name for being afraid of yourself?


5. What is something you're surprisingly good at?

Before the virus I cut pockets in chicken breasts and stuffed them. A case included 75 chicken breasts. I could usually do all 75 without ****ing it up by cutting through to the other side or tearing it open during the stuffing. And I could do it fast. It’s like making 75 free throws in a row. And you have to keep that sharp blade like less than a cm from your non-dominant hand that pressed down and held the breast in place. And I NEVER cut myself.

6. What would your ideal place to live be like?

In the mountains with a pool, hot tub, and a fire place, a Japanese style bath, a nice kitchen, a 100% safe yard for my dog, and a great view.

Hell yeah to Aubrey Plaza, she's amazing

This ain’t the first time I’ve noticed we like the same hoes.