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Old 04-25-2020, 05:37 PM   #9101 (permalink)
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Straight up 5th grade humor

Meaning when I was in 5th grade my cat had kittens and one night I had them all in my bed to snug while I slept. I told my classmates about it, and this one kid was like "did you sleep with them all at once or one at a time?" And obviously I said all at once. I hated 5th grade.
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There was a rumor spread about another kid in 5th grade who in a game of truth or dare licked a dog dick

Edit: *allegedly
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Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 04-26-2020, 06:47 PM   #9102 (permalink)
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1. Who is your favourite philosopher?
Any cat.

2. What is the most unlikely friendship you've made?
Bjork, and I mean that in the sense that didn't happen.

3. Who is your biggest actor/actress crush?
No idea.

4. Do you have any phobias?
Claustrophobia.

5. What is something you're surprisingly good at?
Not dying.

6. What would your ideal place to live be like?
The space station from Silent Running.
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Old 04-26-2020, 07:05 PM   #9103 (permalink)
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Bertrand Russell
In Praise of Idleness is the philosophical slacker dope jam
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Old 04-26-2020, 07:43 PM   #9104 (permalink)
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1. Who is your favourite philosopher?

Me. Not a philosopher jerkoff but I do love hearing myself talk in my own head.

2. What is the most unlikely friendship you've made?

Every time old women have treated me like the son they never wanted. It's surprisingly commonplace. Especially old black women love me to death.

3. Who is your biggest actor/actress crush?

I'll go with Christina Hendricks cause she's been one of the top tier OMG thick biches for the last few years. Like I can't even deal with those tits.

4. Do you have any phobias?

Spiders. They keep almost lowering down on a line when I'm in the bathroom trying to take a **** or a shower and it's always almost panic inducing.

5. What is something you're surprisingly good at?

Nothing useful and that pleases me.

6. What would your ideal place to live be like?

Some out of the way beach shack where I could live out the rest of my days on some island just not being noticed by anyone.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 04-26-2020, 07:51 PM   #9105 (permalink)
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1. Who is your favourite philosopher?
I like a few of Camus' books, but I don't venture too much into philosophy.
2. What is the most unlikely friendship you've made?
Probably with my boss. Not sure how it happened.
3. Who is your biggest actor/actress crush?
I'm pretty straight, but I love Robert Pattinson.
4. Do you have any phobias?
Heights
5. What is something you're surprisingly good at?
Not much really, I can do a bunch of stuff, just not exceptionally well.
6. What would your ideal place to live be like?
Some place with cheap rent and cheap public transport.
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I’m a full on fascist. I don’t even give a **** about making sense.

Do you have a black truck?
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Old 04-27-2020, 10:46 AM   #9106 (permalink)
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4. Do you have any phobias?
spiders (very bad)
When I was maybe 11 or so I woke up one morning because my balls felt strange. Went into the bathroom and checked them out to see that 2 small spiders had latched onto my sack. This pretty much terrified me as I ripped them off and internally screamed and panicked. TO this day I think that is my primary thought every time I see a spider.

Where I live now also has a massive amount of black widows, females specifically. We have found tons of them throughout the time we lived on the property.

F*** you spiders.
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Old 04-27-2020, 11:56 AM   #9107 (permalink)
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Oh god that's terrifying
Nice to meet you btw!
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I want to open a school for MB's lost boys and teach them basic coping skills and build up their self esteem and strengthen their emotional intelligence and teach them about vegetables and institutionalized racism and sexism and then they'll all build a bronze statue of me in my honor and my bronzed titties will forever be groped by the grubby paws of you ****ing whiny pathetic white boys.
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Old 04-27-2020, 01:06 PM   #9108 (permalink)
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Once had a Black Widow crawl right next to me in bed. You really can feel the blood drain from your face.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 04-27-2020, 02:42 PM   #9109 (permalink)
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Once had a Black Widow crawl right next to me in bed. You really can feel the blood drain from your face.
ok boomer
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Old 04-27-2020, 05:57 PM   #9110 (permalink)
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4. Do you have any phobias?

Yes, pogonophobia.
Are y'all gonna leave this bit hanging or what
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