Reminds me of this:
https://encrypted-tbn0.google.com/im...wj6ZRTIuAzSrIL

I hate when people give me unsolicited advice.

You should just breathe and let it become water under the bridge.

;)

I wouldn't suggest breathing any sort of liquid.

You know what you should do? Buy a timeshare.

My neck and shoulders are so ****ing stiff. It's probably my own fault for tensing them when I take a bump, but Jesus ****. It kind of hurts. I'm not injured, I've just done some muscle straining. I've also strained my triceps and my abs. Made it through training today with Ibuprofen and willpower, but seriously, ouch.

Tomorrow, I don't know if I'ma be able to do a very good hip toss. Flip bumps aren't my strong point.

Used to like this girl for quite a long time. I still do, in a way, but not to the same degree. Everything was fine. Friends, talked every now and again, but then her boyfriend, now husband (despite knowing him for probably a year or less), joined Facebook. The darndest thing happened soon after! She deleted me off her Facebook, and then stopped talking to me. Once again she ends up with a shitty, over-controlling jackass. It's like clockwork. I've only known her for 7 years. Nbd.

You must take the most epic ****s of all time. ;)

Pretty much my only guy friend who still lives in this town is one more stoned text from pushing me over the brink. He can't get a job because he can't pass a drug test, and all he does is complain about how he doesn't have a job and get stoned. I offered to drive him to a job interview with a security firm last week and after waiting 30 minutes at the agreed upon meeting place, he then texts me to ask if I can pick him up.

I wonder what it's like having friends who also happen to be adults, rather than overgrown teenagers.

What do you do with a pity whore when you run out of pity? What's a nice way of saying pull your head out of your arse?