BEER - So much more than just a breakfast drink.

hehe that reminds me of the following

Mariah Carey: "When I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean, I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

that's just so ... lame... :D

alright i don't know if any of you remember me, but if you do remember me then the one thing i need to ask is why the hell are you still here? obviously i've moved on, but i came back to this site specifically to find this thread because i remember it was loaded with hilarious sh*t. and it needs more, definitely. so i've returned to bring this thread back, which in my opinion is the best thread this site ever had.




and, i have one to add. me and my friend, a girl, were waiting in line for a rollercoaster ride. i decided to be stupid and tell a stupid joke that sucks, "a guy walks into a bar and says OW!" normally stupid jokes make her laugh, but this put a really blank look of confusion on her face. from the back of the line all the way till we got to the ride, when she finally blurted out "OHHH!!! he WALKED INTO A BAR!! and it hurt him!!!" i turned to her and said "(name removed), tell me right now what the hell has been going through your head this entire time."

apparently she was having a hard time trying to make sense out of the joke, and she told me that it went so far as to have her convince herself that the man who walked into the bar said OW because the stool he attempted to sit down on was upside-down and the leg of the stool penetrated his asshole.



and then this happened with another one of my friends. she's trying to bitch about something, but somebody was distracting me.

Me- um, im gonna need you to repeat that.
Her- no, f*ck you. im not repeating myself anymore, im seriously sick of that.
Me- sorry, what?
Her- i said im not repeating myself anymore.
Me- you, are a dumbass.
Her- ..............oh, goddammit.

My Guitar Teacher:The Acrtic Monkeys want kind of music do they play?
Me:They're indie.
Guitar Teacher:'indie' is that like indian music?
Me:(sarcasticly)yeh, they play indian music.
Guitar Teacher:well they don't look indian.

My middle sister: "But how do you know you don't like women if you've never been with one...?" http://i216.photobucket.com/albums/c...wer/retard.gif

ex girlfriend: do we live in north america or south america?

Someone I know; sitting on a motorbike at trafiic lights at a junction in Moss Side, Manchester (predominantly black area) and getting the evil eye from a group of youths stood on the corner.
As the lights change, he shouts out "Black bastards!" revs his motorbike up for a quick getaway...

...and stalls.

ahahahahhaahahahhaha what a fucking prick.

Should've been all "How did you know you like guys if you've never been with one" and done the classic z-snap and walked off as she hung her head in shame.

mine would be "can you really read minds"