Am I the only one who finds this hilarious?

Scissorman · 03-30-2010, 10:16 AM

So, I stumbled upon this site E-mails from an ******* where this guy replies to random adds and makes fun of people who gave the adds. I was reading this one and couldn't stop laughing, but when I showed it to my friends, they thought that it isn't funny at all... Anyway, here it is:

Quote:

Original ad:
I am a 18 year old looking for a summer job. it is hard for me to find work and I just want a job so I can afford a car for college next summer. I can clean, babysit, answer phones, pretty much whatever as long as it pays!!

From Mike Anderson to ***********@***********.org
Hey,

I saw your ad looking for work and I think I have a job for you! I am looking for an assistant on my farm for the summer. It will involve working outdoors. Let me know if you are interested.

Mike

From Stephanie ******* to Me
Hi Mike! I am interested in your job! I love animals and used to ride horses so a farm would be great! what kind of work would I be doing, and where is your farm located? it needs to be close to ******** so my parents can drop me off and pick meup

From Mike Anderson to Stephanie *********
Stephanie,

It is very close to **********. I'm glad to hear you are familiar with horses, because you will be primarily working with horses.

My farm gets all the old horses that other farms don't need anymore, and they are starting to take up a lot of room in my stable, which I want to turn into a garage for my new truck. Therefore, the horses need to go. As my assistant, you will be in charge of killing the horses and dumping them in the lake behind my farm.

I used to have a captive bolt pistol (cattle gun) that I used to put them down, but it broke when I tried to use it to tap a keg. You'll probably have to use my 12-gauge shotgun to put them down. Sometimes they don't die right away when you shoot them, and will start freaking out. You just have to stay calm and keep shooting. Don't worry, I'll show you how to use the shotgun if you aren't familiar with one.

You then need to use my chainsaw to cut the horses into smaller parts that you can carry down to the lake. It can get a little messy, so I suggest wearing some clothes that you don't care about, or some clothes that the horse blood would compliment.

The lake isn't mine, it is my neighbor's. He gets kind of angry when he sees me dumping dead horses in his lake, so you have to make sure he isn't around when you do it. I have some cinderblocks you can use to weigh the horses down so he won't see them.

I have a lot of horses, and each horse takes about an hour and a half to dispose of, so you should have plenty of work. The job will pay $15 an hour. When can you start?

Mike

From Stephanie ******* to Me
omg that is HORRIBLE! That is truely awful and sick!! Why cant you just give the poor horses away? sorry but I am not helping you slaughter horses!!!

From Mike Anderson to Stephanie *********
Stephanie,

I'm sorry if you are a bit surprised, but this is how farms work. You can't give away old horses, you have to kill them. I thought about it, and if you don't want to use the chainsaw to cut up the horses, you can just use my truck to drag them down to the lake. Do you have your license or permit? If not, this could be good driving practice for you. You don't want to pass up on this great job opportunity.

Mike

From Stephanie ******* to Me
No that is not how farms work you are just SICK! I am NOT interested

From Mike Anderson to Stephanie *********
Stephanie you are going to regret this some day when you try to get a real job. I think this would look great on your resume.

Neapolitan · 03-30-2010, 02:58 PM

I didn't find it funny at all, he want to cut up old horses, that is just plain mean and gross, what he should had done was sell them to a glue factory at least he would had been reincompenskated for the horses, I think his plan is not only cruelity to animals, I think his plan is shear foolishness, he is loosing money.

Scissorman · 03-30-2010, 03:02 PM

Well, he didn't ACTUALLY want to kill and cut the horses, that is the point. He's just making things up at spot, if she said that she liked dolphins, he would probably say that she would be in charge of slaughtering dolphins or something. He is just making fun of people, some see right through it, but some think that he is being serious, and that is when the fun starts.

Mandelorean · 03-30-2010, 03:07 PM

I knew this was a joke. I still did not find it funny at all. Honestly, I find it funny that you found it so funny.

Scissorman · 03-30-2010, 03:21 PM

I have never read anything funnier than this. I can't allow myself to read it anymore, because I just can't stop laughing...

Freebase Dali · 03-30-2010, 03:33 PM

Scissorman, I love that site. I stumbledupon it at school last semester and read every one. Hilarious.
I like the one about the car blinker fluid and also the disguised weapons one.

mr dave · 03-30-2010, 04:25 PM

some of those emails are hilarious. others are obviously trying to hard.

the shotgun in the tissue box had me in tears though.

Neapolitan · 03-30-2010, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scissorman

Well, he didn't ACTUALLY want to kill and cut the horses, that is the point. He's just making things up at spot, if she said that she liked dolphins, he would probably say that she would be in charge of slaughtering dolphins or something. He is just making fun of people, some see right through it, but some think that he is being serious, and that is when the fun starts.

But I never heard of farm dolphin, they might have them in Serbia, but not here. I think if Stephanie said she used to ride a dolphin on a farm, Mike Anderson would be highly suspicious of her. I think Mike would get mad that he is being played, maybe write an angry e-mail to her, or something.

Dr.Seussicide · 03-30-2010, 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by neapolitan

but i never heard of farm dolphin, they might have them in serbia, but not here. I think if stephanie said she used to ride a dolphin on a farm, mike anderson would be highly suspicious of her. I think mike would get mad that he is being played, maybe write an angry e-mail to her, or something.

qft

Freebase Dali · 03-30-2010, 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr.Seussicide

qft

Legendary, isn't he?

03-30-2010, 03:02 PM	#3 (permalink)
Scissorman art is sold for money Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Belgrade, Serbia Posts: 730	Well, he didn't ACTUALLY want to kill and cut the horses, that is the point. He's just making things up at spot, if she said that she liked dolphins, he would probably say that she would be in charge of slaughtering dolphins or something. He is just making fun of people, some see right through it, but some think that he is being serious, and that is when the fun starts. __________________ facebook Last.fm The Music I make http://www.indabamusic.com/opportuni...missions/52856

03-30-2010, 03:21 PM	#5 (permalink)
Scissorman art is sold for money Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Belgrade, Serbia Posts: 730	I have never read anything funnier than this. I can't allow myself to read it anymore, because I just can't stop laughing... __________________ facebook Last.fm The Music I make http://www.indabamusic.com/opportuni...missions/52856

03-30-2010, 03:07 PM	#4 (permalink)
Mandelorean Groupie Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: TEXAS/OHIO Posts: 35	I knew this was a joke. I still did not find it funny at all. Honestly, I find it funny that you found it so funny.

03-30-2010, 03:33 PM	#6 (permalink)
Freebase Dali Partying on the inside Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 5,584	Scissorman, I love that site. I stumbledupon it at school last semester and read every one. Hilarious. I like the one about the car blinker fluid and also the disguised weapons one.