Yeah I agree. I went to a public, co-ed school and I think it was the best thing that my parents ever did for me. Plus the thousands upon thousands of dollars they saved not sending me to a posh school they helped me out with my university fees...

Glad it's not just me. :thumb:

I honestly believe private schools don't really do much good.

Shit. Last person that I heard got hospitalised at my old school was some Yr11 who was smoking in a bush and when a teacher went by she puffed to quickly and had a coughing fit, therefore got discovered and fainted. Took to hospital because she wouldnt wake up. Turns out she faked the fainting all along just to get sympathy.

Fail :laughing:

I can only speak for Australia, but over here private schools really aren't a whole world better than private schools. The only differences are that 1) They are usually or can be religious 2) They often separate the sexes 3) You have to wear a horrible, hot, ugly posh uniform and obey strict rules.

None of those things really affect the way you learn.

I am thankful that I got to go to a public school and be around a diverse range of people from many different walks of life and many different socio-economic backgrounds. I learnt so much about people, society, and just general social and life skills. If you went to a private school you'd only really see one 'type' of socio-economic string.

So yeah, I agree :)

Oh, and to bring it back to the gender thing, it's been proven that girls can learn in almost any environments, but boys learn better when they are around girls. It's probably because girls are more willing to complete schoolwork so they have a good influence over boys, I'm not exactly sure but this is something I've seen happen in the classroom! So why separate the sexes? They can learn from each other and about each other...

Plus most girls that I know who went to all-girls schools were obsessed with boys, absolutely boy-crazy because it was like they'd never seen one before, it was ridiculous.

2 and 3 apply to our local grammar school, not sure if 1 does.

I hated school, I wasn't thankful for the diverse people I met. It just made me toughen up a bit, the private school just seems so lardy dar, the girl I knew who went there had a group of friends and she had her Facebook status as "loves her girlssss <3"

I thought "Only at a grammar school." I made it known to her on several occasions what I thought of grammar schools as well. "If your dad throws X amount of grand at it, I'm sure you're going to be fine."

People in shit schools have to work harder for what they have.

Yeah, that too. I worked hard for the education I received and got into one of the Australia's best universities despite going to a ****ty public school. I'd rather that than have my parents throw away thousands of thousands of dollars to send me a school where you get spoon-fed and just cruise along without actually learning anything valuable about life.

And all the girls I know that went to private schools are really high-maintenance little princesses (no offense to anyone here, I'm just generalising about the people I know). Two of my cousins went to a private school and not only are they spoilt little brats but they are extremely racist for some reason (maybe there wasn't a diverse range of cultures at their school?) and really discriminatory to lower social classes.

I'm living with some girls up here in the arctic now. One of them told me yesterday that she was not made of sugar when I asked if I should carry the shopping basket. I think the response came because I always offer to carry stuff when going to or from field sites for example so I guess maybe she feels I'm treating her as if she's weaker than she really is. There could be some underlying psychology at work here .. My "ask to carry response" is pretty automatic. I definetly feel like I'm supposed to act this way, do so almost on instinct and I see it in other guys as well.

Part of it must be training from my GF though. Pack mule for her and occasionally her friends is one of the roles I have in our relationship :p: Part of it could also be nature, I guess, as guys should like to show girls how able they are. Then a huge part would be upbringing/social environment of course!

What do you girls think if someone always ask if they can carry heavy stuff for you? Would you be flattered or offended?

I'd be flattered, as it simply means I dont have to carry it. Its a nice gesture, good on you tore :)

I remember having this conversation in the shoutbox not long ago. Personally, I'd be flattered. I think it's sweet if a guy offers to carry something, or open a door for me! That being said, if they don't want to carry something for me or open a door for me then I'm cool with that, too!

Basically, I don't expect them to offer to carry things or open doors, but if they do, I'll take it and think it's sweet. And I certainly don't expect them to be a packhorse.

Flattered definately! I think that comes down to good manners more than anything. My Partner's like that and always carries the heavy bags, always walks on the outside of a pavement, opens doors for me etc. But then, I can be pretty old fashioned. I like that sort of thing. That's not to say I expect him to always carry the heavy stuff, it's just nice manners to offer :)

I wish more women had your attitude. I'm the type of person who always holds the door, offers to carry things, gets the bill, etc. with other people regardless of their gender and I'm perfectly happy to do so. But what annoys me is when I encounter women who just expect me to do these things because I'm male and they think it's my job to be their porter/bodyguard/benefactor/whatever. I don't treat the women around me like maids or cooks and I expect the same courtesy in return.

I have the same feelings toward it as Kate

I like politeness, regardless of gender. I especially enjoy men grabbing things off shelves for me when I go grocery shopping, but I'm 5'2" so I wouldn't mind a woman doing it either.

As for the education debate. I don't know what private school is like for comparison but public school was f*cking awful for me, teachers could not deal with my problems and I got bullied all the damn time, I learned more things from homeschooling and just living everyday life than I ever did from public school.

So if my kids inherent the kinda mental problems I had as a kid, I dunno about public school being an option, on one hand it does teach important social skills but on the other if I stayed at public school much longer I surely would have become more unstable and violent, which was the big reason I was dropped out for homeschooling. Homeschooling would be a preferable alternative but I wouldn't want to alienate my kids from other kids, I had no social life growing up and wouldn't want to make my kids feel alienated from the world. If I do choose homeschooling for my kids I won't make the same mistake my grandmother did, I'll try to get them involved in various hobbies and social activities.

And homeschooling would be better than private school for reasons Katie stated, saving up the money for college. Another thing I'll never get a chance to experience and never even had an option for. :(

My exboyfriend was very courteous. He always opened doors and offered to carry things and pick up the bill. It was strange as I'd never had that before, it was nice though. I was flattered. But I used to always offer to pay. I didn't like when he wouldn't accept atleast half the money. because it was constant him paying all the time. I wanted to pay sometimes! :)

I'm a cheap motherf*cker Kayliegh, I'd have no problem with letting you pay the bill. :thumb:

Haha, i just always felt like I would take it for granted if I didn't pay sometimes. I hate people who take things for granted!

I had an ex and I offered to pay for everything, it's just gentlemanly.. But I guess growing up a little I'm more cautious. For one thing, not to be taken for an idiot, and secondly some women like to pay. If a girl offers halves, I tend to take her up on it. Even though the gentleman in me screams "PAY FOR HER YOU CHEAP MOTHERF*CKER".

That's my perspective exactly. It's a courtesy, not a prerogative.


Regarding the education topic... after primary school, I was pretty well set for getting into a good selective high school (a fair portion of my class made it into James Ruse and Baulkham, some of the best in Aus). Instead I moved to NZ and went to a pretty rough boys-only public school and I don't regret it one bit.

Some of my friends who went to more civilised schools don't believe me when I tell them about incidents back in high school such as large scale fights spurred on by people wearing gang colours on mufti days (gang member parents of some of the students became involved), food fights (junior students having hot pies biffed at them from across the quad) and a guy with a cast on having his leg rebroken after being trampled under students stampeding out of the hall.

Despite all this, I had some fantastic teachers and there was a wide spectrum of students which I wouldn't have been part of if I went to a private school. Besides, after living in a uni residence in first year, it quickly became clear that it's mostly the rich kids who went to private schools that screw up a semester or two due to too much partying / alcoholism and lack of self-control in general. Most of the rest of us had the chance to get it out of our systems back in high school before leaving home, so there was no need for us to let loose and go bat**** crazy in the process.

Please come to New Zealand. I love guys just like you.

I also am always the person standing at shopping center door waiting for the last person to walk through.... :(

I always feel awkward holding the door open for girls, because alot of girl's snap at me and call me sexist. How is being nice/a gentleman sexist???

Well I understand that a lot of women don't want to be treated like they are handicapped.

But that's not why you do it, women don't want to be treated like they are special but what's wrong with thinking that they are? It's not treating women as inferiors, but rather as people who are worthy of respect. What's wrong with encouraging men to be polite to women? Most men are not very polite so why be offended that someone actually has some damn manners? It's such a rarity these days. :(

I know, it's not like I do something ridiculous like put my coat on the ground to cover up a puddle, I just feel like opening a door for a girl is the polite thing to do, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

I hold the door open if I see an old person behind me, I let them go in first. Regardless of their gender, it's just good manners.

:)

Are you sure all you guys are real? I swear you dont meet this many well-mannered men in the real world..

Well if they do then they are conceited and arrogant. I hold the door open for either genre, give up my seat on the bus for those who need it more and have carried shopping home for an elderly neighbour a few times. As you say it's good manners. BTW if I don't get a thankyou for holding a door open etc I usually say 'Yeah your welcome' just loud enough for them to hear it. I abhor bad manners.

What can we say, music nerds are an elite class.

Me too.

I agree, kayleigh, it is nice when people are courteous and open a door for you. I do feel uncomfortable, though, when one man at work often seems to refuse to let me open to the door for *him*. For example, if I get to the door first and open it to let him in, he kind of grabs the door and says, "After you." So then I say thank you and go in, but I feel odd about it, because it went on for months that he wouldn't go in first. I think he is just trying to be thoughtful and respectful. Recently, he actually let me hold open the door for him and he went in! Yeay! I felt relieved.

It is also nice if people offer to pick up the bill...but nicer when you can then split it or, like you say, take turns paying. No one likes to feel beholden to someone for TOO long, I think. Do they?

I decided yes, but I kind of wish there were an option for not really caring either way. Sure, I love being a woman (with the exception of the aforementioned menstrual issues) but I think if I'd been born with a willie I would have learned to loved that too. Seems to me both sexes have their fair share of disadvantages, and dealing with them without wishing for something else is what lets us take pride in the advantages.

Plus, I love having boobs.

Yeah that's how I see it.

I voted yes. I get along well with women slightly better but I'm happy being a man. If I could choose I'd stay male. Most def. I think a big factor is that women are undoubtedly the fairer sex so.. well actually if I was a woman I could always be a lesbian.. I dunno. I just think I overall like being a man.

:laughing::laughing:

Yeah being a girl wouldn't prevent me from prefering them. And I'd like being less repulsed by my appearance and not being a caveman.

And also I'd be a girl progger and those are too damn rare.

Negative character traits - AskMen.com

This is one of the most sexist articles I've ever read. :laughing:

And the advice is really terrible.

So ladies discuss, does it bother you when your boyfriends get advice from these kinds of sources?

I just skimmed it but it didn't seem any worse than the typical Cosmo article about men.

I feel the article mixes some good advice, such as communicate about conflicts and your feelings directly, with outright sexism, such as when the article says, "The female brain is driven by hormones -- women think with their emotions. Maybe it all makes sense to them, but their irrational behavior just leaves men frustrated, bewildered and annoyed."

I wouldn't mind if a boyfriend got some advice from such a source...as long as he didn't believe everything in the article or use some of the advice! ;)

About nagging: I have known a wife who nagged her husband a lot. She focused on the little things that annoyed her without dealing with the real source of frustration (deeper relationship issues). Too much nagging can make anyone feel unloved. So, if someone is nagging you/putting you down, I agree that it's best to say feel bad when you get nagged, and ask what the deeper frustration or fear is. The couple eventually divorced.

People act like men NEVER nag. I can tell you that's a load of bullsh*t. But if women nag more than men it would be because they expect so many responsibilities from men which they are more reluctant to do than women are with their own responsibilities, generally women do seem to take the technical aspects of a relationship more seriously. It's stupid though to think that nagging is just something that's built right into the genome of every woman.

Also I was pretty appalled by the line "The problem is, women can't communicate, so they nag and whine about what they aren't getting rather than directly stating what they want, need or expect."

For one women are very good communicators, you just have to learn the language which too many men are too stupid to do, women are much more likely to talk about their feelings than men (as in less likely to call you a fag for wanting to discuss your problems) and they're better at it and wiser enough to try and find rational solutions to their problems, though I agree with the article that it only seems women demand more than men because men don't demand enough to create an equal diplomatic relationship. It's not as common for women to become alcoholics and knock around their partner because they know no other method of dealing with their personal problems.

You realize you're being as sexist as that article, right?