Too bad you're programmer was from Mexico. :(

^vwls failing at his first language.

does not compute

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the smoke alarms in our apartment are literally only intact once a year for inspection because they're too sensitive and I'm too short to reach them every time they go off from stupid shit like steam from the shower.

Quit smoking cigars while you shower then. That's pretty trashy anyway.

I am probably the horniest son of a bitch on the face of the planet right now.

I swoon over literally everyone I know because they're beautiful. Don't want to sleep with them or anything, just wanna tell 'em they're fucking beautiful 24/7 and just woooooooooooow.

I missed this on the first pass.. Classic. :clap:

Aint nobody slick like me.

I dreamt i was living in the condo i grew up in, i was with a friend who had a friendly dog he would mistreat, for some reason his apt was up in the 137 floor and he would kick the dog off his balcony constantly and we would saw him go down and crash, but he wouldn't die.

everytime he appeared again outside his door all happy and willing to play with us again but then my friend would kick him down and he would fall 137 floors down AGAIN.

on the 3rd time the dog came back limping with a broken paw but still happy to see us and when i saw him limping i was overwhelmed by the guilt of what we've done to him and cried to my friend "WE DID THIS TO HIM!" yet my friend felt no remorse and then the dream ended.

The real f*cked up part is this is a recurring dream of mine.
i saw alot of animal abuse growing up in that condo and did nothing about it.