I was sick once and managed to make a perfect transfer of cough to burp while farting.
I'm pretty gruesome when I'm sick.

I once coughed in my car after drinking some ribena not too long ago, and was sick, everywhere. i got most of it out the window as i was sitting at traffic lights (it was quite warm). it was so embarrassing. i wasnt even ill or anything.

Happens sometimes.
I have something that's even worse to make you feel less bad about yourself.
I hadn't slept for two days last year. And I was so ****ed up that I really couldn't control myself anymore. I farted and mainly pooped my pants. No one noticed, but my god that's a strange thing to do when you're 25... My body really gives up when I don't get enought sleep (and I'm talking to you now... 4:52am)

Lmao!! Man I would not tell anyone that story. But I may have just charted myself!! That was funny

@ Dirty

The fetish isn't the part that would get me freaked out, but the part of walking in on what could have been some weird kinky play would be extemely awkward. Especially your brother of all people, I would be freaked out and scarred for life. It's kind of just a **** thing to be so careless and not even go to a private spot, it's ****ing gross.


Anytime you poop your pants is awkward.

Speaking of poop, this isn't exactly awkward in the type of situations being discussed here, but this doesn't happen everyday. I walked into the school bathroom one day, and there was **** on the ceiling. Yeah, on the ceiling, with toilet paper hanging down from them, I really needed to take a piss, but I refused to walk under it, so I just left and walked to the other side of school.

at the end of a lifeguard shift we have to clean the gyms "dry change toilets" so at 10pm we usually all give each other a hand, and on the wall of the womans dry change toilet was "**** THE POPE" the day before the pope was due in scotland... twas a tense game of rock paper scissors to determine who had to clean it.

Might've spoke on this already but I know I didn't mention part 2 of this story.

Alright, so last 4/20, I was in my apartment with 2 buddies and we were hitting the bong in my kitchen. Just stoned as hell, bong rip after bong rip. Well, I forgot that my steo dad was dropping off some clothes that I left at my parents house. So I just exhale form the bong and pass it to my buddy and hear a knock at the door. We had that split second where we all looked at each other in panic. My front door is like 2 feet away from where we are smoking, so we all try to be quiet and we hide the bond and spray a can of FeBreeze everywhere to try to drown out the smell. Like 5 minutes later I open the door and quickly take the clothes and shut the door.

He didn't say anything but about 20 minutes later I got a bunch of calls from my mom and texts that suggested she was mad, but didn't say about what. I told her I was in the back bedroom and didn't hear my stepdad knock on the door initially, but it was obvious it was a lie cause he could easily hear us scuffling around to hide everything. For like the next two weeks my mom was just really mad towards me, but never brought it up so I was hoping she would just let the situation slide. Then she scheduled a shopping trip with me so we could buy some gifts for a relative's birthday. It was just me and her, and she's like... "So... do you smoke?" and I said "Umm yeah, cigars and sometimes cigs".. And she's like "What about marijuana." I played it calm and was like "I've tried it, no reason to lie to you, ive smoked it a few times at parties and stuff." I was smoking several times a day and dealing but I tried to minimize the situation and make myself seem like the good guy for 1) telling her and 2) downplaying my usage. Then she told me that my stepdad smelled weed when he stopped in on 4/20. And I was like "Yeah, that was embarrassing, my room mate smoked before he left for class and i forgot he was stopping by so i tried to FeBreeze the place but I knew he'd smell it." She believed it and I thought all was good.

Then I got out my phone to text my room mate i was smoking with, Nate. And "Nate" and "Mom" are beside each other in my phone. And instead of texting Nate i texted my Mom and was like "lol my moms asking me about smoking on 4/20." Like 2 seconds later my moms phone went off and she's like "CURTIS WTF IS THIS, who were you trying to text this to, you texted me instead."

Things were awkward for a little while after that. Then a few weeks later I got really drunk and stoned at a friends and thought I left my pipe and bud at his house. It was in my pocket and my mom woke me one morning and was like "WTF is this" while holding my pipe.. I was like.. Uhhh ****, that's my friend Kevin's tobacco pipe. She was super pissed but laid it on the steps to my loft and never mentioned it again

Written in feces?!?!?

@Dirty

I couldn't imagine the awkwardnesss of having a talk with my parents about marijuana. First, they wouldn't even listen to what I would have to say, they have been filled with lies made by the government, and all the anti-drug ads that target marijuana. After all the conversations my mom has had with me about "Don't touch the Marijuana" or "Marijuana is bad." it's never don't do meth or be careful with heroin. It's always awkward.

written in shyte, forgot to mention that :\

Funny thing, my friends all thought my mum was insanely cool when she accidentally made a comment about how watching bad horror movies while high on mushrooms used to be one of her favourite pastimes. It was hilarious how embarrassed she was when she realised what she'd said.