Shaking Hands

VEGANGELICA · 10-04-2011, 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lucifer_sam

My grandfather instructed me from an early age that a firm handshake is necessary to go anywhere in the world.

I kinda get creeped out by people who do the weak fish; it's like not looking at someone when you are talking to them. Unless you're old or really sloppily hitting on me, don't finger my hand like it's an inattentive cat.

I'm not a fan of the weak fish either. I haven't experienced too many weak fish, but I know what you're talking about.

Quote:

Originally Posted by nonsubmissivewife

I never realized there was a difference between genders as far as hand-shaking etiquette goes, until that Interview thread came up. I was taught to just give a firm, friendly handshake when meeting someone you don't know for the first time, or in an interview, etc., and have pretty much just stuck with that. Why over think it?

Female, 31, Texas

I don't think anyone ever taught me how to shake hands, but I like to try to shake hands in the same way I like handshakes to feel. I love shaking hands because it can be such a warm, friendly gesture, especially when combined with a smile and eye contact. I definitely think about all the nuances of handshaking!

I like a handshake that feels as if the person wants to shake hands, so firmness is nice, because that makes the gesture feel convincing...but not TOO firm, otherwise the handshake feels dominating. You definitely don't want to squeeze a person's hand too hard, or just squeeze the fingers. You want palm-to-palm touching.

Also the handshake shouldn't be too short (seems the person doesn't want to touch) or too long (seems the person wants inappropriate closeness and I start to feel uncomfortable).

And of course it isn't really much of a shake. It's more of a clasp and hold with a slight up and then down motion. I would be disconcerted if someone started pumping my arm wildly up and down.

I really enjoy the handshaking part of social interactions and often am the first to offer my hand in greeting when I meet someone...such as fellow mothers I meet on the playground. I'll even offer my hand in greeting to people I already know when I see them again. If you stick your hand out toward a person, most people grasp it out of habit. If a person is friendly and smiles, then you know that's a good handshake candidate...someone who appreciates handshakes.

The only problem is my hands are sometimes cold, which is NOT a desirable hand trait, and so when I shake someone's hand I often include the apologetic comment, "I'm sorry my hand is so cold!"

I said that to someone just yesterday, actually.

Sigh. I want to be a warm handshaker, but my body betrays me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by right-track

I don't think I've ever shook the hand of a woman. I'll shake hands with men, but for some reason shaking hands with a woman seems inappropriate.
A bit like slapping them on the back.
Usually, a smile and nod does the trick.

Bored, Manchester.

Slapping them on the back?? Maybe you've got the handshake technique all wrong, right-track. A good handshake feels nothing like a back-slap.

I am reminded of this video clip from Sense and Sensibility, where Willoughby won't shake poor Marianne's hand:

View Poll Results: Pick one
Male - Try to squeeze as hard as you can	2	4.88%
Male - Firm hand shake	22	53.66%
Male - Weak hand shake	2	4.88%
Male - Put no thought into it	5	12.20%
Male - Don't shake hands	1	2.44%
Female - Try to squeeze as hard as you can	1	2.44%
Female - Firm hand shake	7	17.07%
Female - Weak hand shake	0	0%
Female - Put no thought into it	0	0%
Female - Don't shake hands	1	2.44%
Voters: 41. You may not vote on this poll