You'll make it Lee...it does get easier.

Having people donate to an animal shelter is a wonderful way to honor Elaine's memory. I'm happy to help take part in it.

Well ****.

Jackhammer, we never talk much, so I'm probably not going to be anyone whose words mean an awful lot, but I'm really sorry to hear about this. Here's to hoping you can get through this with as much grace as is possible.

I'm so sorry to hear this, Lee. Like others, I can't even begin to process or understand the feelings you must have right now. Stay strong.

It's not ridiculous at all man. I'll definitely be making a donation.

I don't post here much at all but I wanted to respond. You and your family are in my thoughts for sure. I am so sorry.

I didn't read this thread or find about about your loss until today. I'm very, v ery sorry to hear about his. Please accept my deepest condolences, for whatever it may be worth.

I sat here for a while trying to think of something poignant to reply with, but there is really nothing more to say than I'm so sorry to hear this and my thoughts are with you and your family. This is a tragedy. Be strong, friend.

Awww hun I'm sooo sorry. If you need any help with anything I will be happy to oblige. Thinking of you and your family right now. xxx

It's not ridiculous at all and I'll gladly make a donation to the Gloucestershire Animal Welfare Association & Cheltenham Animal Shelter.

I gave a donation of 10 pounds... which is like 20 american dollars. I don't mind it all, it's for a good cause, and it's almost Christmas too.

Keep strong Lee. Any emotion you are feeling is entirely understandable.

I will make a donation as soon as I have money in my bank.

My sincere condolences to you and your sons. So very sorry for your loss.

I know I'm just a random n00b on this forum, but I'm deeply sorry for your loss. I can see how dedicated you are to this forum and I hope that my few words and those of others will help you.

Stay strong.

Lee, just want you to know I'm thinking of you and yours this Xmas, mate.
Bokt ta kom, pral.

Lee, I know I'm still just a n00b here, but I'm still shocked to read this. 19 years is quite a long time, and I'm already sad to think of all the places you've been and experiences you've shared in those 19 years. I feel upset by this and I can sense the emptiness and the despair you must be in.

I do feel very sad on your behalf.

Now, I can't help by writing more, so I'll stick with just that. I'm actually quite distressed at this, since the last few pages have been so emotional. I'm so sorry.

This is a wonderful thread, as a reminder for the holidays hammer. Its not like we all don't already know someone like Elaine. As you stated in your reply, we should all cherish the moment.:love:

Sorry for the loss mate.

Wow, I'm completely bowled over having not checked in here for a few days.

I can't add anything to this thread that hasn't already been said and so I'm not even gonna try. I will certainly check back to the link you provided later and make a donation, I would be more than happy to.

My thoughts are with you and your family today Lee. It's difficult to convey sincerity in circumstances such as this, but I wish you all the best.

Many many thanks for all who have donated and a sincere Merry Christmas to all those who celebrate it. Thank you.

It is the first anniversary of my loved one's death on Saturday although the day is actually today and my youngest son was awake (it's 3 am here) and in a state.

I took my eldest son to see the Foals a couple of weeks back and they played this and he admitted to having a tear in his eye so to Elaine, Veganelica, Howard The Duck, Gavin B's recent misfortune and Jayjamjah -

*hugs*

I can't believe it's been a year. xx

Wow man this is actually news to me I had no idea. I was away for a while this time last year so I'm just now reading this Jackhammer. The story of life is sometimes quicker than the blink of an eye and love can sometimes seem like hello goodbye. My heart goes out to you and yours who are no doubt still grieving over this loss and offer my condolences. Stay strong and if you ever need to talk or vent don't hesitate to ask.

My God Jackhammer, I guess this happened when I took a break from MB last year... I'm so sorry. I know it's late, but you still have my condolences.

I`m also learning of this sad news for the first time Jackhammer. I`m very sorry that you`ve lost your partner of twenty years or more, and I hope that you and your boys can survive this Christmas somehow.
As Bloozcrooz and others have made clear, you have many friends here who will willingly provide what sympathy they can.
I expect that you`ve had advice up to here IRL, but if you can focus on your children, focus on the future, I hope that will console you a little; I also hope you have some extended-family support to help you take care of them both.
Good luck - and keep posting when you can,
Lisna

My god, a year already?? :(
I wanted to take the time to compose a reply, not just throw something together Lee, but all I came up with that didn't sound too hollow is this:

It's always hard, terribly hard losing a loved one, but I think it must make it doubly hard when that loss occurs at a time generally taken to be one of joy and celebration. You no doubt feel guilty about not enjoying Christmas, and equally guilty about enjoying it. It probably seems almost disrespectful to be laughing and joking and wishing friends a happy Christmas when the one you so want to spend that season with is no longer by your side.

All I can say is, like others have said, be strong, particularly for the children, who'll need your support and guidance, and cliched as it sounds, every year that passes, every Christmas that goes by will lessen the pain slightly until finally you'll be able to properly celebrate the holiday without feeling too much guilt or sorrow.

You know she'd want you to enjoy yourself, and would probably hate it if you were feeling sorry for yourself, so though it's hard maybe just paint on that smile and face the Christmas with the strength, fortitude, good humour and charm we all know you possess in abundance.

And faith or no faith, I'm sure she's looking down on you all and hoping you have a good and peaceful Christmas.

As do we all here.

Peace and love, my friend. It'll get better...

Thank you very much everyone for your replies and I feel very fortunate to have people I have never met offer words of comfort but I would also like to include those I mentioned in my recent post here in saying that life does go on and that they too are no longer here or have gone through the same things as I have.

MB is a very rare beast regarding it's members and a truly great community. Now I must write my crawling letter to the mods to be reinstated ;)

JackHammer, I am so sorry for your loss from last year. I hope you are recovering well.

You know, I've been a member of this forum for longer than most people think but have only really started getting to know people and posting on a daily basis during the last year. I've been apart of internet forums before but I can honestly say that this one is my most cherished and also the one whose members I care most about. Usually if I would see a thread like this there would be a minimal change in my mood because realistically I have no ties to the person involved.

But you Lee (This is the first time I'm using your name. I hope you don't mind) are not just a random person on the internet. While we may not respond directly to each other on a daily basis or know a lot of personal information about each other, I still read your posts every time I see them because I've pegged you as a person of interest on this board. I feel like even though your posts are for everyone to read, that it's still just me reading what you have to say. In a strange way I think that can also be a personal connection that people can have albeit on a message board accessed by a computer which is nestled in a house that is miles away from each other.

I'm not a religious person at all. I'm not an atheist but rather a natural skeptic which I guess can be attributed to being an agnostic. Yet I truly hope your loved one is somewhere special. I hope she is at peace. I hope you and your family are well and that you look upon this day as one of remembrance and love rather than a day of sadness and grief.

Please be well. You and your family are in my thoughts.

That song deeply touches and it has a deep soul. JackHammer, I want the best for you.

Exo, I have to say that really moved me. Well said man. I think all of us feel the same way about Lee, and most of us about each other, with a few exceptions.

OH NO! Group hug! :)

Seriously, well articulated and well said.