I usually wake up to pee in the morning and then about 5 to 10 mins later after sitting at my desk. I have to go for that morning dump.

Rarely if at all. I'm one of these people who if I feel the urge to crap will hold off till I have the time

I'm pretty sure that the morning piss is basically universal. Anyone here experience otherwise?

Yeah right after my morning coffee.

She only goes once a week?? That's not good actually, it means she's chronically constipated. Something else is going on.

If you go 3 days without ****ting then you're constipated.

I ain't had a dump in 3 months. And that's why I'm so full of s**t. Get it? :o:

just had a decent dump, prob 5/10. will update after every dump.

it was kinda mushy and came out quick. needed lots of tp tho, not sure why but this one was kinda creamy and mushy

The best dumps are those rare, almost magical, ones that come out clean, in one piece, and when you wipe there's nothing there.

Worst dumps are whenever you're on drugs, they always feel filthy and you feel the need to wash and wash and wash your hands like an OCD nutjob.

Word.

Yep.

I farts when I gotta go number one/two at the sametime.

I can say on drugs I don't mind poo'ing, good cocaine should make you need a poo.


Also nobody can avoid a comedown from ecstasy poo, those cannot be done in someone else's home.

I for one am appalled.

I'm a Paul

Nice to meet you, my name is Steve.

This is probably my worst habit. I never flush the toilet unless I've dropped the kids off at the pool.

I dunno why. Maybe I should start.

I'm lolling at bubbly urine btw.

It smells, that's what is bad. Lol, there is some strange ass colours of it out there too.

No tp.... used paper towel. Tore it into a few pieces. Flushed multiple times. Kinda a runny explosuon but Imade it out alive

I've pee'd and had to use the empty toiler roll to wipe my pee with!!

I was outta napkins too so it was paper towels or those lemon scented wipes ya yse to wipe down counter tops and I wasn't sure whuch was more flushabke lol

Don't flush every time after you pee. Especially if you drink the proper amount of water and your pee isn't too yellow.

If your pee is dark yellow though then go ahead and flush it.

Don't waste water flushing after every pee.

Strange thread.

Today, I have mostly been passing what can only be described as refined marmite.
Not too pleasant.

:laughing:

I love marmite. But not that kind of marmite!

At least its not the consistancy of potted beef...that stuffs a nightmare to clean up!

I totally agree, it's the most appaulling thing to witness, my dad calls it spray painting lol! I also get poo hard as a rock sometimes and it literally rips my anus which then starts bleeding. Sorry for the images guys!

Back at military school you hadn't lived till you'd used your roommate's sock to wipe your ass.

i wweighed myself before i pooped and then after

i was 1.9 pounds lighter on average

Favourite excremental lavatorial experiences usually involve passing a log with the visual appearance and texture of a dry river bed.
Facial goosebumps, everytime.

I pood while standing up this morning. Just to see if I could. And I bloody well could. Well proud I was.

:laughing:

When I was a kid I was fascinated by pooping, I tried pooping by sitting the wrong way towards the toilet itself. It worked and I also got goosebumps.

Lately I have been getting ones that are rock hard, it's making me bleed a lot. Could be my medication.

Do you guys talk to your bff's about taking a dump? I was always talking about it with my two bff's during my University degree. Now we are all in different cities and only occasionally I discuss it, because there is so much to catch up on you can get forgetful. Me and my bbf Nina* used to (while flatting together) try and fill the whole toilet bowl with a big, thick, brown poop. I had one so big that it curved around the bowl and was even out of the water it was so huge.

Okay confession time. Does anyone take pictures of their best poops? I've done it once, but I'd never share it, I just have it there to feel good about my digestive system.

* Name changed

Err nope lol. I do the business then the paperwork and get the f*ck outta there

Bleeding bum ain't good. :(

All this talk of poop is making my branches horny.

Branches?

Trees don't have penises.

Nope, I had some serious blood the other day. I need to eat more fruit. It's better than having diarrhoea though.

Can they have knotty holes?

I knew a south african girl who used to hug trees. She was like a real life fairy, long blonde hair, always wore white dresses, always barefoot, very pretty and incredibly effeminate. She was nuts. Albeit in a beautiful way.

Haha. Quite. Diarrhoea is horrible.

Can you introduce me?

I don't know where she is anymore.

That wasn't Flower Child was it?