The discuss your poo deposits thread
 

I talk to my friends about my dumps all the time. So now we are going to. I went for a load today, 2 massive times, and then the third it was hard to get out in full, and you know what that means - seriously stinky shit. My dad someone used to spray paint at work, it had me in stitches.

I go 5-6 times a day. What about you guys?

No need to thank me for my amazing thread choice, I feel like I'm really bringing more emphasise on the human body, I can't just have a sex thread without this.

Posting from my toilet right now.

The wonders of smartphones.

Five to six times a day?!

What kinda fiber are you eating?!

Anyone else hate when toilets have an automatic sensor so that it flushes the moment that you stand up? I like to have a lookie loo before I flush, so that I can have the "I made that beast" moment of pride. All that work, gone without me being able to take a picture with it :(

:laughing:

I do too.

Conan Warrior - I eat normal cereal, but it's just a fast digestive system. Funnily enough I have irritable bowel syndrome.

No ****. I'm usually in the morning once a day after my coffee. Vanilla needs to see a doctor or contact Guinness.

Dude, just put a big gob of shit over the photocell before you stand up. http://i485.photobucket.com/albums/r...de_999/doh.gif

Do you know how tiny I am? I crap the fat away.

Anyone else have to go the same time each day? I always have to go in the morning and it always makes me late for classes.

That sounds like a good name for a song. I crap the fat away would be an instant hit. You got good flow kid, good flow.

Thanks! I might have to get some words cracking.

Edit: didn't realise the pun.

Here:

http://curezone.com/upload/Parasites...tool_Chart.png

Man, this thread is the shit!

I know, I'm practically bowelling with laughter.

I guess i'm the only one who heard "i have a scat fetish"?

I also have a scat fetish, but it involves rhythmically improvisiong nonsense syllables.

Oh dear, i misspelled cat.. embarrassing.. no clue what scat is... and no, i don't know what cats have to do with ****.

The quality of MB is going down the toilet.

There is apparently another kind, which my mother, a nurse who's currently employed with a nursing home, has encountered once. She spoke of it to me only after leaving that particular nursing home to go to another, and it is a type which impresses me greatly.

Apparently, there was one little old lady who couldn't have weighed more than ninety pounds. Every single time she went to the bathroom, she would have but one turd...and it was always perfectly round and the size of a baseball.

Intense shit.

I sewage you did there.

i'm starting to think the **** posting isn't going to stop anytime soon.

I'm starting to think you havent figured out the language filter just yet :D

there's a lot of shit to filter here. It can't possibly catch all of it.

I had a forest green/black-ish type 3 the other day that had me scratching my head wondering what I had eaten. It was either the canned fruit cocktail and/or Dollar Tree granola bars. Not sure - I've never seen that color before, but it was a one time thing...

Lmao this is a good spot to tell my latest poo story.....

After like a week of painkillers and cheese, I hadnt pooped in many days... so on like the fourth day, I was in down dog and suddenly had to poo, I think I loosened one of my bandas too much. Anyways, I was stuck on the toilet for four hours and only pooped one tiny thing. I was getting tired of it, and if you know my other poo story, it was the same deal. It felt like it was too large, and I'm like wtf this can't be right, I mean if a dong can get in there, why cant this poop come out???? Then I'm thinking well ****, it got there because of lubrication! So I get a bottle of baby oil, and soaked q tips in it, as well as putting it in the backdoor. It felt a little awkward but ffs four hours on the toilet idegaf. Two minutes later I pooped. Unfortunately only boyfriend gets my poo genius.

i only have one good poo story i can think to relate. Once, while in a crowded bar, i thought i had to fart. Well, i'm sure you have all figured out what comes next. Yes, i sharted in a crowded room full of people, and if any of you have been to many bars then you would know there aren't many appropriate places to take care of a number two or wipe yourself after. So i did the only thing i could. Hoping to maintain my dignity, and praying none of my friends were able to.. "detect" the predicament i was in i carefully, with butt cheeks clenched, walked my way to the back of the bar and slipped out into the ally. There i promptly removed my pants, and then my boxers. Realizing my boxers were beyond redemption i then used them to wipe. I accomplished this feat in a matter of seconds, i'm pretty sure if there were an Olympic ass wiping contest i could bring home the gold. I discarded my sullen boxers in the ally and made my way back inside. A few awkward glances and all was well again.

You know, for a moment I thought this was just the latest name for the Sexual Experience thread....


It would make sense that Bristol would have a turd identification system named after it, I suppose.

I have been confronted by one of these upon entering a cubicle in a shopping centre. I couldn't believe what I was seeing, I was convinced somebody had taken a crap, grabbed the turds out of the basin and rolled them into a giant ball - dropping it back down there to fuck somebody up. I simply cannot fathom how what I saw could exit somebody's anus without causing serious damage en route.

I've had perfectly formed little poos, but not big ones.

Isn't it an amazing feat to have the bowel filled with one giant long turd and then an additional half broken in half to fill it all. It times like these I wish I had a smartphone.

The most horrifying shit I've ever taken personally has been after being constipated.

I was unable to go for approximately 48 hours, and was about to seriously just break and take a laxative, resigning myself to a lonely evening spent on the toilet and miserable.

It didn't have to come to this, however, because I finally had to go.

I was convinced it was going to be one of those really, really hard turds that feel like they're tearing your asshole to shreds as they exit. Fortunately, this was not the case.

What happened, though, was an insanely long, kielbasa like turd, which wrapped around the toilet bowl in a psychedelic spiral shape. Never had I seen it before, and never have I seen it since. It was madness.

the food in Taiwan was different so it was usually a long sausage stick with yellow and brown bits

here it's either small soft lumps (goatsh!t) and porridgey stuff

I think I'm going to take an extended vacation from Music Banter and hopefully return to normality.

The thing thats always amazed me is the times when i take a oyster sized dump and have to use an entire roll of paper to wipe my ass. Then other times I will fill the bowl with a smorgasbord of poop and wipe and there is virtually nothing on the paper. Poop can be mysterious when it wants to be.

Can't you just lean over, spread your legs, and get a good gander at the fruits of your labor, or do the "bits and pieces" obstruct the view?

Yet another benefit of being female: it's easier to observe one's doo-doo when on the loo. ;)

I have a love/hate relationship with automatic flush toilets. I like not having to touch anything to make the toilet flush. (I'm one of those people who uses clean toilet paper to open and close stall doors.) Yet they often go off too soon if one moves but isn't done yet, so they waste water. I'd rather just have a regular toilet.

What I *do* love are those plastic toilet seat covers at airports where a push of a button makes the seat cover spin around to give you a clean sitting surface. Ahh! :)

This reminds me how once I made a BM in the perfect shape of a heart. It was a floater, too, and so was especially photogenic. I took a picture of it, of course, and every once in a while I will find the picture among my photos and it makes me smile. Unfortunately I don't know exactly where the photo is. :(

I'd say I'm normal. I'll have a movement every day or two. What's really weird is when you go, you know you did (and heard it hit the water), but when you get up and look down it's nowhere to be found. They must just be sinkers of the highest pedigree.

some of the automatic ones here don't work properly and flush as you sit down

I wondered if I was the only one that happened to. Good to know I'm not alone. Thought maybe it was just my feces that did that. This is a great idea for a thread vanilla, I'm glad to see you guys are finally coming around to talk in some ****e. Good job!!

phantom sh!ts are horrible

Not drinking has really put the reigns on my poo stories. They are just mundane and uneventful now and never suprisingly pleasant. There was one the other day that was a little sticky but ultimatley, even thats not really worthy of mentioning. Oh well..guess for now i'll just have to live vicariosly through everyone elses shat stories.

rate my poo dot com?

My homepage of course... :(



I think this says it all.