Animal warz

anticipation · 03-13-2012, 12:13 PM

Yeah, IDK how I'm supposed to judge extinct animals accurately because they pose no threat to me now.

I present round 3:

BIG BIRD vs. BIG FISH

The Motherfucking Cassowary

Sup niggas?

According to the Guinness Book of Records, the Cassowaries are the world’s most dangerous birds, capable of dealing fatal blows. They are very unpredictable, aggressive creatures, especially if wounded or cornered. Cassowaries have a reputation for being dangerous to people and domestic animals. During World War II American and Australian troops stationed in New Guinea were warned to steer clear of them. A cassowary's three-toed feet have sharp claws. The inner or second of the three toes is fitted with a long, straight, murderous nail which can sever an arm or eviscerate an abdomen with ease. Cassowaries can run up to 50 km/h (31 mph) through the dense forest. They can jump up to 1.5 metres (4.9 ft) and they are good swimmers, crossing wide rivers and swimming in the sea as well. There are many records of natives being killed by this bird throughout New Guinea.

vs.

The Ugly Ass Frilled Shark

Welcome to the Terrordome

Exhibiting several "primitive" features, the frilled shark has often been termed a "living fossil". It reaches a length of 2 m (6.6 ft) and has a dark brown, eel-like body. Seldom observed, the frilled shark is speculated to capture its prey by bending its body and lunging forward like a snake. The long, extremely flexible jaws enable it to swallow large prey whole, while the many rows of small, needle-like teeth prevent escape. Alternatively, it may surprise its prey by curving its body and, bracing itself with its posteriorly positioned fins, launching a quick strike forward in the manner of a snake. It may also be able to close its gill slits and create negative pressure to suck prey into its mouth.

Sparky · 03-13-2012, 12:25 PM

ROUND 3 IS UP

I am going to have to reformat your post a little bit, in keeping with the overall aesthetic, hope you don't mind.

14232949 · 03-14-2012, 05:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James

Both are extinct, so they're both losers. BITCH PLEASE.

The bateleur is endangered, it's not actually extinct. There should still be some living in the wild in Sub Saharan Africa.

Round 3:

Definitely the cassowary, they have them at Edinburgh Zoo, they are oddly intriguing emu-type birds with a variety of colours and an aggressive nature. I once saw one swallow an entire banana.

Howard the Duck · 03-14-2012, 05:28 AM

the frilled shark just cos it's ugly as fuck

14232949 · 03-14-2012, 03:24 PM

The cassowary isn't exactly going to win any beauty contests either.

However, that shark just doesn't look real, surely no creature subject to evolution could look like that in 2012. It's surely got to try and attract a mating partner?

Sparky · 03-14-2012, 03:52 PM

I'm gonna go with the shark. The cassowary has pretty cute looking feet though

FRED HALE SR. · 03-14-2012, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sparky

I'm gonna go with the shark. The cassowary has pretty cute looking feet though

Why is everyone picking land vs water warz? I was hoping to see The Panda Bear vs a Koala Bear. If they ever woke up from slumber it would be an epic battle.

Sparky · 03-14-2012, 03:59 PM

If you want to make a write up and find some fuzzy pictures for that I'll add it to the thread

14232949 · 03-14-2012, 04:29 PM

Koala's are actually surprisingly aggressive, but you'd have to figure the mild-mannered Panda would squash a koala with its sheer mass.

RVCA · 03-14-2012, 08:58 PM

penis shark ftw

03-13-2012, 12:25 PM	#12 (permalink)
Sparky not really Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 5,223	ROUND 3 IS UP I am going to have to reformat your post a little bit, in keeping with the overall aesthetic, hope you don't mind. Last edited by Sparky; 03-13-2012 at 01:14 PM.

03-13-2012, 12:13 PM	#11 (permalink)
anticipation Music Addict Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 3,565	Yeah, IDK how I'm supposed to judge extinct animals accurately because they pose no threat to me now. I present round 3: BIG BIRD vs. BIG FISH The Motherfucking Cassowary Sup niggas? According to the Guinness Book of Records, the Cassowaries are the world’s most dangerous birds, capable of dealing fatal blows. They are very unpredictable, aggressive creatures, especially if wounded or cornered. Cassowaries have a reputation for being dangerous to people and domestic animals. During World War II American and Australian troops stationed in New Guinea were warned to steer clear of them. A cassowary's three-toed feet have sharp claws. The inner or second of the three toes is fitted with a long, straight, murderous nail which can sever an arm or eviscerate an abdomen with ease. Cassowaries can run up to 50 km/h (31 mph) through the dense forest. They can jump up to 1.5 metres (4.9 ft) and they are good swimmers, crossing wide rivers and swimming in the sea as well. There are many records of natives being killed by this bird throughout New Guinea. vs. The Ugly Ass Frilled Shark Welcome to the Terrordome Exhibiting several "primitive" features, the frilled shark has often been termed a "living fossil". It reaches a length of 2 m (6.6 ft) and has a dark brown, eel-like body. Seldom observed, the frilled shark is speculated to capture its prey by bending its body and lunging forward like a snake. The long, extremely flexible jaws enable it to swallow large prey whole, while the many rows of small, needle-like teeth prevent escape. Alternatively, it may surprise its prey by curving its body and, bracing itself with its posteriorly positioned fins, launching a quick strike forward in the manner of a snake. It may also be able to close its gill slits and create negative pressure to suck prey into its mouth.

03-14-2012, 03:24 PM	#15 (permalink)
14232949 The Big Dog Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Scotland Posts: 1,989	The cassowary isn't exactly going to win any beauty contests either. However, that shark just doesn't look real, surely no creature subject to evolution could look like that in 2012. It's surely got to try and attract a mating partner?

03-14-2012, 03:52 PM	#16 (permalink)
Sparky not really Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 5,223	I'm gonna go with the shark. The cassowary has pretty cute looking feet though

03-14-2012, 03:59 PM	#18 (permalink)
Sparky not really Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 5,223	If you want to make a write up and find some fuzzy pictures for that I'll add it to the thread

03-14-2012, 04:29 PM	#19 (permalink)
14232949 The Big Dog Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Scotland Posts: 1,989	Koala's are actually surprisingly aggressive, but you'd have to figure the mild-mannered Panda would squash a koala with its sheer mass.

03-14-2012, 08:58 PM	#20 (permalink)
RVCA （￣ー￣） Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 3,270	penis shark ftw