19. He's busy screwing a family member.

That's been brought up already:

20. He's moved to Hollywood, he somehow landed the role of "Leslie Chow" in Hangover III.

Technically a sheep is not usually a pet but I'll change it.

The same thing George Costanza did in "The Opposite".

I was about to suggest that he realised everything he posted was terrible, then I realised that is probably the only thing that would be completely impossible for him to do.

21. Transcended to a higher plane of existance.

22. Got caught masturbating on a bus and was attacked by angry commuters and is now in traction waiting to be taken to jail.

23. Started dancing to "Gangnam Style" in the middle of the street. After twenty minutes without stopping, people realized that there was something wrong and long story short, he is now screaming "HEY! SEXY LADY!" at the top of his lungs wearing a straight jacket in a padded cell.

23. Maybe he decided to get off forums and have a life.

:rofl::rofl:

I'm pretty sure if either of those happened he'd have become an Internet Meme by now and we would have heard of it.