Originally Posted by Janszoon (Post 1285164)

:yikes:

Originally Posted by FRED HALE SR. (Post 1285151)

It all started out on a beautiful sunny day in Southern California. Birds were chirping, bees were stinging and you could smell the napalm in the air otherwise known as smog. I had decided this was the day to organize a game of softball between friends and enemies, always invite your enemies. And so it began, lots of beer drinking ensued, I smoked a big fat joint of some bull**** og whatever the **** lame name some guy named Jordan decided to call it to make it sound hip and lung worthy.

So I called all the girls too, told them to wear bikini tops and look good. Called all the fat dudes that could bomb a softball into the 7/11 a few blocks away. Called the wimps that would be on the other team and told them to bring extra big bats so they could hit flyballs to second base. About 6 stone ipas into the game I was feeling it, not quite sure what, but it was going good. I'm playing second base and some fat dude named robb, at least thats what everyone called him because he was pushing maximum density comes rolling into second base. He slides and ends up with his tighty whities pulled all the way up to his kidneys. I heard a scream and thought holy **** is my girlfriend here?

Turn out ol fat robb had slid over a sprinkler head and sliced his ball sack wide open. He whimpered about someone giving him a lift to the hospital which conveniently enough was a block away so he walked.

The End.

Good Times.

Originally Posted by FRED HALE SR. (Post 1285171)

It still hurts to this day man, about 20 years later. :yikes:

Originally Posted by Janszoon (Post 1285176)

I'm not exaggerating when I say I seriously had some sort of lurching physical reaction to reading that.

Originally Posted by FRED HALE SR. (Post 1285151)

It all started out on a beautiful sunny day in Southern California. Birds were chirping, bees were stinging and you could smell the napalm in the air otherwise known as smog. I had decided this was the day to organize a game of softball between friends and enemies, always invite your enemies. And so it began, lots of beer drinking ensued, I smoked a big fat joint of some bull**** og whatever the **** lame name some guy named Jordan decided to call it to make it sound hip and lung worthy.

So I called all the girls too, told them to wear bikini tops and look good. Called all the fat dudes that could bomb a softball into the 7/11 a few blocks away. Called the wimps that would be on the other team and told them to bring extra big bats so they could hit flyballs to second base. About 6 stone ipas into the game I was feeling it, not quite sure what, but it was going good. I'm playing second base and some fat dude named robb, at least thats what everyone called him because he was pushing maximum density comes rolling into second base. He slides and ends up with his tighty whities pulled all the way up to his kidneys. I heard a scream and thought holy **** is my girlfriend here?

Turn out ol fat robb had slid over a sprinkler head and sliced his ball sack wide open. He whimpered about someone giving him a lift to the hospital which conveniently enough was a block away so he walked.

The End.

Good Times.

Originally Posted by FRED HALE SR. (Post 1285151)

It all started out on a beautiful sunny day in Southern California. Birds were chirping, bees were stinging and you could smell the napalm in the air otherwise known as smog. I had decided this was the day to organize a game of softball between friends and enemies, always invite your enemies. And so it began, lots of beer drinking ensued, I smoked a big fat joint of some bull**** og whatever the **** lame name some guy named Jordan decided to call it to make it sound hip and lung worthy.

So I called all the girls too, told them to wear bikini tops and look good. Called all the fat dudes that could bomb a softball into the 7/11 a few blocks away. Called the wimps that would be on the other team and told them to bring extra big bats so they could hit flyballs to second base. About 6 stone ipas into the game I was feeling it, not quite sure what, but it was going good. I'm playing second base and some fat dude named robb, at least thats what everyone called him because he was pushing maximum density comes rolling into second base. He slides and ends up with his tighty whities pulled all the way up to his kidneys. I heard a scream and thought holy **** is my girlfriend here?

Turn out ol fat robb had slid over a sprinkler head and sliced his ball sack wide open. He whimpered about someone giving him a lift to the hospital which conveniently enough was a block away so he walked.

The End.

Good Times.

Originally Posted by FRED HALE SR. (Post 1285151)

It all started out on a beautiful sunny day in Southern California. Birds were chirping, bees were stinging and you could smell the napalm in the air otherwise known as smog. I had decided this was the day to organize a game of softball between friends and enemies, always invite your enemies. And so it began, lots of beer drinking ensued, I smoked a big fat joint of some bull**** og whatever the **** lame name some guy named Jordan decided to call it to make it sound hip and lung worthy.

So I called all the girls too, told them to wear bikini tops and look good. Called all the fat dudes that could bomb a softball into the 7/11 a few blocks away. Called the wimps that would be on the other team and told them to bring extra big bats so they could hit flyballs to second base. About 6 stone ipas into the game I was feeling it, not quite sure what, but it was going good. I'm playing second base and some fat dude named robb, at least thats what everyone called him because he was pushing maximum density comes rolling into second base. He slides and ends up with his tighty whities pulled all the way up to his kidneys. I heard a scream and thought holy **** is my girlfriend here?

Turn out ol fat robb had slid over a sprinkler head and sliced his ball sack wide open. He whimpered about someone giving him a lift to the hospital which conveniently enough was a block away so he walked.

The End.

Good Times.

Originally Posted by FRED HALE SR. (Post 1285151)

It all started out on a beautiful sunny day in Southern California. Birds were chirping, bees were stinging and you could smell the napalm in the air otherwise known as smog. I had decided this was the day to organize a game of softball between friends and enemies, always invite your enemies. And so it began, lots of beer drinking ensued, I smoked a big fat joint of some bull**** og whatever the **** lame name some guy named Jordan decided to call it to make it sound hip and lung worthy.

So I called all the girls too, told them to wear bikini tops and look good. Called all the fat dudes that could bomb a softball into the 7/11 a few blocks away. Called the wimps that would be on the other team and told them to bring extra big bats so they could hit flyballs to second base. About 6 stone ipas into the game I was feeling it, not quite sure what, but it was going good. I'm playing second base and some fat dude named robb, at least thats what everyone called him because he was pushing maximum density comes rolling into second base. He slides and ends up with his tighty whities pulled all the way up to his kidneys. I heard a scream and thought holy **** is my girlfriend here?

Turn out ol fat robb had slid over a sprinkler head and sliced his ball sack wide open. He whimpered about someone giving him a lift to the hospital which conveniently enough was a block away so he walked.

The End.

Good Times.

Originally Posted by PoorOldPo (Post 1285288)

Most of the stories I have to tell wouldn't translate as well through words, and you really would have had to be there.