Trollheart

Solitude can be great, particularly if you're not a naturally social or egregious person. But of course it can also be an excuse to hide away, not participate, not get involved with the world. Personally, I've always been a pretty solitary person (Oh no, Trollheart! Really?) but kind of more from choice than anything. I'd myuch rather be writing in my room than spending a night at the pub, and I would always make excuses to avoid parties, get-togethers etc. One thing about being on your own is that you don't have to put on a show for anyone. Ever made that weak grin when people ask are you ok for a drink, enjoying the party etc? I hate that. I don't like hypocrisy and so for me to go to a party I know I'll hate/endure/can't wait to leave is a form of hypocisy, because you can't SAY you hate it or leave too early; you have to pretend you're enjoying yourself.

Now sometimes that's necessary: if you're supporting someone, it's a celebration of something they've done or maybe something more sombre like a wake or funeral, where your presence is an anchoring one. But in general yes, I prefer to be alone. I have my best thoughts and do my best work when alone, although to be fair these days I don't have much of a choice due to my home circumstances. But I was always a solitary person. Too much being alone of course is intrinsically bad for you and can make you withdrawn, shy and awkward, but I've never gone that deep. I can still mix in social company, I just don't choose to if I have a choice.

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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018