TFW you're at work quietly having the latest in series of increasingly more common episodes of incandescent rage at the entire world, and right when you need stress the least the customers decide they all want ****ing Burger King and now the hate is just building up and up and up and you're not saying a word to anyone because you're not about to make yourself look crazy in front of nearly everyone you currently know in real life, nor are you going to betray your own emotions by pretending that everything is fine, so you just stew for two hours.

And it wasn't even about the reprimand I'd just had from my boss over some dumb thing I'd done, it was about one more emerging **** day on top of 31 years of absolute garbage days and the knowledge that you must live the rest of your life in a world you will never understand or relate to with 7 billion people who will never understand you or even care to, but who expect you to be just like them regardless of what it does to your very sense of identity.

Sooner or later, days or weeks or months or years, I think I'm going to have a nervous breakdown and make an unhinged scene in public that destroys whatever is left of my shattered life, and I won't even feel sad. I'll just feel liberated and blessedly defeated. **** all of this I'm getting drunk...

Write trashy novels for middle aged women to get the vapors over.

Face it, it's your destiny.

https://pics.me.me/cheers-i-ll-drink...o-26125814.png

I'm sure you already considered this, but would you be at all willing to find an online job at this point? I ask because I know of at least two companies that people I know IRL have worked for online; one of them was able to save money to move to a better city thanks to it. (even I qualify for most of these jobs, and I'm basically useless. I just don't have the needed equipment yet is all) Based on how they described it, it seemed fairly low-stress for an online customer support type job. I figure it'd at least be better than having to deal with customers face to face. I'm currently having an awful time finding a job that has little to no customer interaction (due to the fact that I'll spontaneously start sobbing about my brother while muttering about wanting to die which always goes over super well with people) if it's any consolation.
You need to get out of Virginia though. I imagine it's even worse than Louisiana. Tbh the only real solution to all of this is arson (probably.)

edit: also-- do you ever have actual rages? Like the unpredictable explosive sort?

Honestly, that sort of thing can be quite lucrative if you can find a weird enough (and not already over-saturated) niche. I remember reading about this one lady who made a decent amount of extra income with dinosaur erotica of all things. Personally I'd go with lesbian-werewolf-cult erotica.

Lesbian werewolf cults are cool and all, but lesbian weredino book clubs are what my heart really sings for.

Tbh, I have way more fun writing romantic comedies than horror and action anyway. Famous authors love to talk shit about erotica, but it's probably insanely fun to write.

It really is, based on my experience writing Buffy/Gargoyles/Bram Stoker's Dracula (I had an intense fixation with Gary Oldman at the time; it made my mother really uncomfortable) crossover erotica when I was 13-15. It was.. .. a lot. I wish I could remember the exact plots. I can remember that it involved a Buffy/Giles/Elisa love triangle as well as a Buffy/Goliath/Gary Oldman love triangle. Oh, and Faith and Cordelia were married for some reason. I also brought back the insect lady from season 1 (because lesbian monster sex)

Love triangle? Sounds more like a love trapezoid.

I will not disclose which of that is weird and which is intriguing to me.

Well, Elisa (before being erotically killed by Demona) was basically my self-insert, so the plots often became rather convoluted.

I'm going to go ahead and guess that it's the lesbian monster sex.

.

Nothing disclosed. Nothing. But seriously BuffyxFaith is underrated.