Literal cooties.

I was helping rehab my friends house that burned up a bit a few years back. It was in the middle of summer, and when we were done for the day I went to get beer at the gas station and handed the cashier my money out of my back pocket, it was visibly damp and all she said was "Ewww, butt sweat!" and left it on the counter. I laughed and walked out without getting my change.

tfw someone on the phone thinks you're a guy. I loved it.
https://i.gifer.com/YW3J.gif

TFW someone hands you warm change that also smells like Fritos.

https://media.tenor.com/images/fb906...7de3/tenor.gif

https://media.tenor.com/images/fb906...7de3/tenor.gif

https://media.tenor.com/images/fb906...7de3/tenor.gif

https://media.tenor.com/images/fb906...7de3/tenor.gif

Tfw you use man strength to accomplish something a gaggle of henfolk were desperately struggling with.

Pickle jar warrior. Respect.

When customers don't take items out of the basket.

When you bump into someone while you walking

When everyone's talking about how great their weighted blanket is and you don't own one.