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Old 03-14-2004, 04:47 PM   #51 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockafella Skank
I think those are big issues for most women. Guys got to remember not to be jealous and insecure.
Im jealous as hell and insecure after my last girl cheated on me bad...but i hide it...i dont let her know.
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Old 03-14-2004, 06:00 PM   #52 (permalink)
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tsk tsk.. hiding things aren't good.. eventually it'll have you so paranoid you won't know what to do with yourself.. i think you should talk to her about it. you deserve to know the truth-whatever it may be.
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Old 03-15-2004, 07:50 AM   #53 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by winterslastbreath
tsk tsk.. hiding things aren't good.. eventually it'll have you so paranoid you won't know what to do with yourself.. i think you should talk to her about it. you deserve to know the truth-whatever it may be.
I tend to disagree with that. Yeah, I agree with you that an open relationship is key to making it last. As for jealousy I think a lot of times it's better to keep it in for a bit. I think I'm a very jealous person by nature BUT give off the appearance of the easy going. (You'll have to ask a former or current gf to see how true that is.) Most times when I'm jealous I keep it to myself and sooner or later I realize I was over reacting.

Jealousy is a double edged sword. Shows you can touch someone enough that they care that much about you when they think they might lose you. It also shows that they think you are that desirable (to others). The downside to that is that it also causes unnecessary fights. A simple "honey can we talk..." can sometimes get a reaction "wtf are thinking?! you don't trust me!" and then the avalanche begins and you're without skis...

So yeah, voice your concerns if it's a problem... but take some time to feel out if it's a problem or your own insecurities.
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Old 03-15-2004, 02:24 PM   #54 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by DJ_Jester
I tend to disagree with that. Yeah, I agree with you that an open relationship is key to making it last. As for jealousy I think a lot of times it's better to keep it in for a bit. I think I'm a very jealous person by nature BUT give off the appearance of the easy going. (You'll have to ask a former or current gf to see how true that is.) Most times when I'm jealous I keep it to myself and sooner or later I realize I was over reacting.

Jealousy is a double edged sword. Shows you can touch someone enough that they care that much about you when they think they might lose you. It also shows that they think you are that desirable (to others). The downside to that is that it also causes unnecessary fights. A simple "honey can we talk..." can sometimes get a reaction "wtf are thinking?! you don't trust me!" and then the avalanche begins and you're without skis...

So yeah, voice your concerns if it's a problem... but take some time to feel out if it's a problem or your own insecurities.
Exactly.
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Old 03-15-2004, 05:10 PM   #55 (permalink)
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that's true. but if like... if he doesn't trust her and it happens over and over again, i think i would at least bring something up on either how the other person feels about me or how i am feeling.

i do agree though that it's a double edged sword.
i think jealousy is natural though, to an extent. so i'm not saying once you feel jealous go right away and confront her. and blah blah i agree basically.
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Old 03-15-2004, 05:32 PM   #56 (permalink)
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ya, seriously its amazing how many relationships end because of jealosy on someone's part. personally, a little jealosy is cool, shows the guy cares, like if i told a guy that i was gonna be skiing with a guy friend all weekend, ans he was like "ya whatever" i'd kinda wonder what was going on there. but when it gets too much i just can't deal with it.
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Old 03-15-2004, 08:06 PM   #57 (permalink)
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yea too much becomes hard to deal with, frustrating, and stressful sometimes.
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Old 03-15-2004, 08:33 PM   #58 (permalink)
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Yeah definitely, but working on building trust I guess is just part of staying committed to a relationship. It does get hard... especially when the person on the jealous side has been taken advantage of by previously loves but if you really love someone you really just need to stick with it.

That doesn't mean you just love blindly. There is a point where you have to accept the fact that the other person just will never trust you and that's when you have to think about moving on... cuz nothing after that epiphany is gonna get any better...
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Old 03-15-2004, 09:58 PM   #59 (permalink)
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Very Nice points DJ
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Old 03-16-2004, 02:17 PM   #60 (permalink)
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agreeeed
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