How Do I Prepare Spam? [Official Thread]

Black Francis · 07-28-2015, 11:28 PM

Okay, first you open the spam and chop it into tiny cubes.

Then you open the sweet peas and stew them with tomato sauce NOT KETCHUP and add some olive oil, the sliced spam you cut and and add a bit of that BBQ seasoning if you like.

Then you prepare some rice (i know it's not on the list but get some, preferably medium grain) then you fry the turkey slices in some butter spray and that's it, when it's done you pour the sweet peas over the rice and accompany it with the fried turkey slices.

You don't even need the turkey slices, the sweet peas with spam over the rice is delicious enough on its own.

Mr. Charlie · 07-29-2015, 06:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pet_Sounds

Have you got anything without spam in it?

Ah, yes, great Monty Python sketch.

Aux-In · 07-29-2015, 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Black Francis

Okay, first you open the spam and chop it into tiny cubes.

Then you open the sweet peas and stew them with tomato sauce NOT KETCHUP and add some olive oil, the sliced spam you cut and and add a bit of that BBQ seasoning if you like.

Then you prepare some rice (i know it's not on the list but get some, preferably medium grain) then you fry the turkey slices in some butter spray and that's it, when it's done you pour the sweet peas over the rice and accompany it with the fried turkey slices.

You don't even need the turkey slices, the sweet peas with spam over the rice is delicious enough on its own.

Thanks for the suggestions. I think I'd rather go with the Velveeta Shells & Cheese that I have. I can cook the spam first and mix some of it in that.

It seems to be shaping up as the following:

1) Main Dish: Chula's spamburger(s). Cooking the meat will be step #1.

2) Frownland's spamtonic: Chardonnay, vodka and spam mixed into a drink. With this one, I'm only going to put a little of it in a glass, as I can't imagine the outcome being anything other than predictable as far as my enjoyment of it. It might not even mix well because of having to mix it by hand. I'll use the Spam Lite for this. Additional chaser drink: Chocolate milk.

3) Pasta/Cheese Side Dish: A combo suggestion from WhateverDude and Black Francis. I will cook the pasta and add the sweet peas and spam after it's finished. This one's simple as it's just a mix of cooked spam with Velveeta Shells & Cheese. I think it'll taste good too...maybe.

**Frownland** · 07-29-2015, 01:36 PM

You don't have to do my dish if you don't want to, I was totally kidding.

Aux-In · 07-29-2015, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frownland

you don't have to do my dish if you don't want to, i was totally kidding.

#yolo?

Chula Vista · 08-01-2015, 11:05 AM

Verdict?

Aux-In · 08-01-2015, 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chula Vista

Verdict?

Sorry for delay. Wasn't able to get to it last night. Starting cooking soon, and as you can imagine, I'm awash with anticipation. Will update accordingly.

Chula Vista · 08-01-2015, 02:28 PM

Waiting with bated breath.

Aux-In · 08-01-2015, 05:32 PM

THE RESULTS

PREPARATION

I began step one by preparing the frying pan with some faux butter spray.

Then I opened the can, getting my first ever look at spam, that at least I can recall. The smell was familiar, as in similar to other kinds of meat, although it wasn't as strong as I expected and not quite like your standard aroma from an opened can of meat. I want to say it was reminiscent of Canadian bacon.

I proceeded to remove the contents of the can onto a plate. Visibly, the meat had a pinkish texture, and physically, it slithered out of the can and stayed in piece as a solid brick, complete with impressed can lines as seen in the photo.

Next, I began breaking the spam into pieces, and this is where I made a rookie mistake. I don’t know what I was thinking, but I was expecting the spam to mesh together when I started breaking it up. Sometimes you just have to learn lessons the hard way, and the next time I try this -- should there even be one -- I will be better prepared to cut the spam with a knife in order to get even pieces.

As uneven as these cuts were, it was time to forget about the past and start cooking what I already had. Even cooked, the spam was almost odorless from a distance. As a comparison -- and this is something spam might have going for it -- if you've ever cooked fish in the breakroom at school or work, surely you've found out that someone is bound to let you know that you have done so. Here, I would say that you could substitute spam for fish so that you don't have to suffer such embarrassment/harassment. Anyway, I was midway through the cooking process at this point when the meat started to pop/sizzle, although it wasn't melodramatic about it. This is when I started the Velveeta Shells & Cheese (not shown), which I expected to finish around the same time as the spam with a cook time of about eight minutes. Note: the spam cooked in about 15 to 20 minutes.

The halfway point

Finished cooking

Now I cut the finished meat into small pieces so that I could add them to the Velveeta pasta. The largest piece would be saved in order to make Chula's spamburger.

Cut pieces ready to be added to pasta

Results of spam + Velveeta and sweat peas

DESTINATION: FINISHED RESULTS

After everything was complete, I set the table for this special occasion. Who knew when I posted the picture of spam in the spam thread that things would get to this point. I mean, everything has led up to this moment, and I was ready to dig in.

From the first bite, my thoughts went from elation to conflicted as I was trying to interpret what my taste buds were telling me: is this week-old rubbery chicken? Is that my acid reflux being activated? Maybe it's just the mustard? Still, I forged ahead, giving the spam it's fair shake as I polished off the spamburger and the side dish of the pasta mix.

Finally, it was on to Frownland's drink. Hopefully it's not too much of a disappointment, but I decided to go sans spam, as I learned earlier that the spam wasn't going to cooperate in a mix such as this. As stated, I don't have a blender. The Chardonnay smelled like Chardonnay and the Vodka smelled of a sweet vanilla bean, which is the flavor that I had on hand. As expected, it tasted like alcohol.

I also had some chocolate milk.

Frownland's drink

SUMMATION

In the end, it wasn't really that bad, although I don't think this will be considered a road map to fine dining anytime soon, and the likelihood that spam will be replacing my canned tuna and sliced meats is largely nil.

Chula Vista · 08-01-2015, 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chula Vista

Cut the spam into 1/4" thick wedges.

Quote:

Originally Posted by aux-in

Next, I began breaking the spam into pieces, and this is where I made a rookie mistake.

Dude......

Cooking with an even thickness insures you don't have any rubbery bites.

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07-28-2015, 11:28 PM	#21 (permalink)
Black Francis Out of Place Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: in an abstract house Posts: 4,111	Okay, first you open the spam and chop it into tiny cubes. Then you open the sweet peas and stew them with tomato sauce NOT KETCHUP and add some olive oil, the sliced spam you cut and and add a bit of that BBQ seasoning if you like. Then you prepare some rice (i know it's not on the list but get some, preferably medium grain) then you fry the turkey slices in some butter spray and that's it, when it's done you pour the sweet peas over the rice and accompany it with the fried turkey slices. You don't even need the turkey slices, the sweet peas with spam over the rice is delicious enough on its own. __________________ "Hey Kids you got to meet the MIGHTY PIXIES!" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbRbCtIgW3A

07-29-2015, 01:36 PM	#24 (permalink)
Frownland SOPHIE FOREVER Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: East of the Southern North American West Posts: 35,548	You don't have to do my dish if you don't want to, I was totally kidding. __________________ Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. d e a f b o x

08-01-2015, 11:05 AM	#26 (permalink)
Chula Vista Toasted Poster Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: SoCal by way of Boston Posts: 11,332	Verdict? __________________ “The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”

08-01-2015, 02:28 PM	#28 (permalink)
Chula Vista Toasted Poster Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: SoCal by way of Boston Posts: 11,332	Waiting with bated breath. __________________ “The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”

08-01-2015, 05:32 PM	#29 (permalink)
Aux-In Wrinkled Magazine Join Date: Jan 2015 Location: In Time Posts: 467	The Results THE RESULTS PREPARATION I began step one by preparing the frying pan with some faux butter spray. Then I opened the can, getting my first ever look at spam, that at least I can recall. The smell was familiar, as in similar to other kinds of meat, although it wasn't as strong as I expected and not quite like your standard aroma from an opened can of meat. I want to say it was reminiscent of Canadian bacon. I proceeded to remove the contents of the can onto a plate. Visibly, the meat had a pinkish texture, and physically, it slithered out of the can and stayed in piece as a solid brick, complete with impressed can lines as seen in the photo. Next, I began breaking the spam into pieces, and this is where I made a rookie mistake. I don’t know what I was thinking, but I was expecting the spam to mesh together when I started breaking it up. Sometimes you just have to learn lessons the hard way, and the next time I try this -- should there even be one -- I will be better prepared to cut the spam with a knife in order to get even pieces. As uneven as these cuts were, it was time to forget about the past and start cooking what I already had. Even cooked, the spam was almost odorless from a distance. As a comparison -- and this is something spam might have going for it -- if you've ever cooked fish in the breakroom at school or work, surely you've found out that someone is bound to let you know that you have done so. Here, I would say that you could substitute spam for fish so that you don't have to suffer such embarrassment/harassment. Anyway, I was midway through the cooking process at this point when the meat started to pop/sizzle, although it wasn't melodramatic about it. This is when I started the Velveeta Shells & Cheese (not shown), which I expected to finish around the same time as the spam with a cook time of about eight minutes. Note: the spam cooked in about 15 to 20 minutes. The halfway point Finished cooking Now I cut the finished meat into small pieces so that I could add them to the Velveeta pasta. The largest piece would be saved in order to make Chula's spamburger. Cut pieces ready to be added to pasta Results of spam + Velveeta and sweat peas DESTINATION: FINISHED RESULTS After everything was complete, I set the table for this special occasion. Who knew when I posted the picture of spam in the spam thread that things would get to this point. I mean, everything has led up to this moment, and I was ready to dig in. From the first bite, my thoughts went from elation to conflicted as I was trying to interpret what my taste buds were telling me: is this week-old rubbery chicken? Is that my acid reflux being activated? Maybe it's just the mustard? Still, I forged ahead, giving the spam it's fair shake as I polished off the spamburger and the side dish of the pasta mix. Finally, it was on to Frownland's drink. Hopefully it's not too much of a disappointment, but I decided to go sans spam, as I learned earlier that the spam wasn't going to cooperate in a mix such as this. As stated, I don't have a blender. The Chardonnay smelled like Chardonnay and the Vodka smelled of a sweet vanilla bean, which is the flavor that I had on hand. As expected, it tasted like alcohol. I also had some chocolate milk. Frownland's drink SUMMATION In the end, it wasn't really that bad, although I don't think this will be considered a road map to fine dining anytime soon, and the likelihood that spam will be replacing my canned tuna and sliced meats is largely nil. __________________ Reviews l YouTube Playlist: Another Dimension "All over a bowl of bitter beans."