James

This is going mad off topic, can we move this to another thread perhaps?

s_k

It's been a long day, apparently.
I'm sorry for causing this James. I never meant to.
But we may need a relationships thread so channel stuff like this .

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Guybrush

You could have societies where such behaviour does not represent the same risk of exploitation, for example if all children are raised by everyone community style. But generally, I believe polygamy is mostly found in cultures where one gender or class of people have power over another, such as Kublai Khan had or like you might find in misogynic mormon societies. It is of course in any man's "biological interest" to have sex with as many women as possible and if you enable them and give them power over women to do so, then they might. Such societies are not the norm today and I definetly do not feel they should represent any political ideal.

That you have autism might explain why you feel differently about this. Still, while I do not know for sure, I believe that if you were to share the person you love with another man, you would start to feel jealous.

edit :

My own GF gets jealous now and then (if I get flirted with) .. It's obvious she likes me and doesn't want to share me or risk losing me to anyone else. To me, that's a big compliment

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s_k

I wouldn't want my girlfriend to be jealous. I really hate jealousy.
For me it's a sign that I'm not trusted.
Ghehe, the opposite. To each his own, I guess .

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Guybrush

Feelings are not always controlled by our rationality. For most, jealousy is a knee-jerk reaction that they may not have rational control over which is born from a desire to protect their interest. If your partner has sex with someone else, that means some of the sex and romance that you would otherwise get is being given to someone else. There is also a chance you will be replaced. The idea that lack of jealousy is a badge of trust implies that jealousy is in complete control of our rationality - which it generally isn't. To me, a lack of jealousy would represent a lack of care and I believe that would generally be the case and closer to the truth.

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s_k

In my case it isn't.
People always told me I cared too much .

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Guybrush

If you are emotionally attached with someone who is attached with someone else, I'd say be careful that you don't get exploited. The situation is likely very good for the person who has two lovers, but perhaps not for the two who have to share one person. The way you write about your feelings makes me wonder if you're trying to think the way you do to protect yourself from getting hurt because you're emotionally invested in a girl who already has a different boyfriend. That situation would steal away a lot of power from you because if you make demands in your relationship with her that she doesn't want to meet, she can say "no thanks" and get what she needs romantically from her "official" boyfriend instead while you have noone else and so much more to lose. So, hope I don't offend, but I suspect that instead of making demands to her, you try to convince yourself that your 3-man situation is okay or even something good when it really isn't.

So .. I'm just adding my concerns to those voiced by Dirty and others. Sorry if my post comes off as a bit douchey!

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s_k

You don't offend me.
There's just not much I can say except an extreme lame.
"You're not me, you don't know her, you're not here" .
I hope you will believe me when I say that I'm fine and that I'm not being exploited whatsoever.
I understand where you come from, but I can compare my situation to the ones mentioned above. And it's not the same. It sounds the same, but it isn't.
There's some things you can't see and I can't explain them either.
You're going to have to take my word for it.
And perhaps realize that there's a reason a lot of people say the things you say, except for the ones who know me and Fleur best. There's a reason for that .

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Kaimon

Finally got my bass and I'm trying to teach myself via youtube and the interwebz.

Honestly, I don't think I'm doing too bad .

Freebase Dali

I've been mistaken so many times, I've never really been right about anything worthwhile. Subsequently, you can take the following with any manner you wish.

There are some things you can't see, ESPECIALLY when they're happening to you. I just think that should be a variable in your estimations and all. Regardless of what it means on the surface of this conversation.