Oh you live in Austin now? Isn't it terribly expensive there nowadays?

Have a diabetic co-worker that's annoying enough to make me hope he loses a toe.

I've known an equal amount of people who have lost toes to frostbite & diabetes. And one weed whacker accident.

Louisiana still. Now with only 3 roommates instead of 5. So that's nice.

https://media3.giphy.com/media/wx1Gj...&rid=giphy.gif

https://media.giphy.com/media/K7QnKfHqEBsdi/giphy.gif

Drunk in Vegas, bitches. Ah ha ha ha ha.

And Ant, I'm sorry I called you a racist pedophile to cover my terrible spelling. It was kinda funny to me. But you are kind of a pussy that got away with talking as much **** because I didn't whine to the mods like you did.

You’re in Vegas???

Yeah.

Edit: but I don't gamble so I've just been drinking and flipping things off.

If you sit at a slot machine they’ll bring you free drinks.

I have a view of Trump's tower so I can look out and say, "That's my president!".

I remember pulling off I-15 and walking around the desert late at night with my girlfriend. Take an exit and a side road for a bit outside of Vegas that’s the land of unsolved murders out there. Spooky.

Damn, he's in the hospital today cause his ankle is swollen. Starting to think prayer does work.

Lmao

Follow up with some positive vibes.

It keeps changing. Swipe insert wait pull out quickly (not your favorite I know) hand it to the person do it yourself

I called in sick

I need another day just to ****ing think

The look of contempt on everyone when I pull one a these bad boys out:

https://i.imgur.com/oquVj3o.jpg?1

Message to everyone who works in a restaurant:

Never call in with anything except bad diarrhea and a 101 fever

I said I had a migraine they called back and said get your ass down here.

Jesus ****ing Christ

Lol what a rube.

Getcho lazy ass up and get to work.

Whadaya think this is, Anyhow?

Well duh, you have to make it sound like you absolutely should not be handling food

I’ve known this since I was 16. Got a text back my buddy who wants OT is covering for me afterall. Is it weird I feel insulted that they weren’t more concerned when in fact I was actually lying from the get-go?

The thing is needing some headspace is so real for me. Personal day mental health day. As a teacher I got 9 a year no questions asked no notice needed as long as I had an emergency sub folder good to go.

I’m still happier now. You may think I’m just telling myself that but it’s also evidenced by not sitting around with the barrel of a loaded revolver in my mouth and goddamnit that’s a reliable dipstick.

No. They do not care. You have to make it sound like you'll be too sick to actually do your job. And also put your foot down and just refuse to come to work. None of this works if you're willing to cave.

They care here at least a little bit... were you not required to get a food safety certification?

lol no

Terrifying

I mean it's not like I'd be doing anything differently if I had.

This is why I cook for myself

And because you're a woman.

I bet I can build a better campfire than you male

I bet I can pee farther.

Ate a Borger that possibly gave me food poising. I wish I had beer to make me feel better.

I have enough for the both of us. Actually just me. I'll make sure to hurl though so we can still be besties.

I didn't either at any of the restaurants I worked at. The only "certification" of any kind I ever needed was a liquor license while I was a server. Kinda wild honestly

Shudders in e coli

Looks like health regulations can suck those establishments' staphylococcus.

It's not like we'd pay attention for $7.25 an hour anyway.

I feel so incredibly wrong

It’s frightening.

Let us know if it’s a winner