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Old 09-19-2012, 08:59 AM   #20661 (permalink)
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shove the dick in the mouth and the tongue in the pussy
You know 69 don't mean a line.
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There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 09-19-2012, 10:29 AM   #20662 (permalink)
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If I don't murder someone today it'll be a fucking miracle.
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i havent i refuse to in fact. it triggers my ptsd from yrs ago when i thought my ex's anal beads were those edible candy necklaces
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Keep it in your pants scottie.
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Old 09-19-2012, 10:46 AM   #20663 (permalink)
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this is last nights experience for me: excerpt for my blog, but it fits so well in the context of this thread , i just cant help it

I'm sitting on the couch the open mic night at Back to the Grind in Riverside, CA waiting to hear the unsigned local talent. It’s a fascinating experience, hearing the din of the crown, faint acoustic guitars in the background tuning up for their performance. This is where it all starts for many an artist. I see a few familiar faces and I know that the sounds will be pleasant, at least, from them. The audio engineer id unwrapping his cables and cords, to insure every performer has the best sound quality he can provide.
The high vaulted ceilings are horrible for acoustics in general, but the walls covered in books, and the crowd dampen the sound just enough to even it out. SO now, I’m all anticipation. What will I hear? Who, if anyone, will blow me away? I always have visions of the next Norah Jones or Tom Waits playing madcap tunes or soulful ballads. Let’s face it, I’m in a coffee shop and there will be soulful acoustic ballads. I wonder, who here has never played in front of an audience before? Who hopes that this will be a stepping stone to something greater?

I’ve heard good things about this coffee shops open mic night and let’s be clear. I will hear awful music tonight. Its par for the course and to be expected at open mic nights but my opinion is that A: Its free, B: You can get up and leave anytime you want. But if you do, you will miss the gems scattered throughout these evenings.
Now the host, Bill Odien announces, in a grand voice,” Be respectful of the artists, so please no excessive talking and no open fires and the set” and Dave relays the no drum kit or marshal stack rule. There is no one screening talent, in fact, that’s the whole point. Everyone gets a chance to shine, or fall on their face, but I will clap for everyone because it takes a lot of guts to even get in front of people and perform. Did you know that 90% of all people would rather die than speak to a crowd? That’s incredible.

I no longer have that fear but I remember my first open mic night in Salisbury North Carolina and I was petrified. I looked at the crowd, and forgot every song I knew. I took my acoustic and just started playing and it turned out, it was a Blind Melon song,’ No Bidness’ I closed my eyes and continued on to ‘Pusher Man’ Steppe Wolf. I heard my dear friend Mike-O cheer me on and then I launched into a George Harrison number, Isn’t It a Pity, because it’s one of his favorites. Afterwards, everyone clapped, as is mandatory and I got some compliments all around, even from folks I didn’t know. It was much easier after that. Back to the night at hand.

The first performer steps up, and starts out real quite. You guessed it; It’s a soulful acoustic ballad, reminiscent of Neil Young. Slightly off tempo but other than that it’s not too bad. Next up is ‘Troubadour Terry’ complete with a song about Labor Day, written by Merle Travis. So an old mining folk tune is what we get. And as his name suggests, he is most definitely a troubadour. Very pleasant to listen to. The next girl, Breezy, has a Dido quality,
Oh but he next girl, Stephanie Diane Moore, well now, she is a little more lively, with a nice lyrical melody. I can definitely hear a bigger sound behind her, with brushes and almost a Mumford d & Sons quality, if they were an American girl with an acoustic guitar. I missed the intro where she announces it was a cover of Jason Mraz. Then she does a nice what a day for a day dream’ from Lovin` Spoonful, complete with wistle. If I were a promoter or producer, id grab her for a song or two.

Then my friend Dave Call, AKA Monowheel, walks by, and invites me to come and see his studio in a flat inside the Life Arts building down the street. I cannot refuse as I don’t see hime very often, besides, its down the block so off we go.

He pours some wine and we casually talk geek (html, drum loops, programming,). His space is small but charming and, best of all, its mobile- now I don’t want to grill him per se, not yet. That’s for the real interview so I don’t go in depth, but he has a few speakers, a small mixer and quality miss and travels to the drum kits, mics em up and records them, then brings individuals into his quaint space to lay tracks over it, and the results are surprisingly good.

We listened to a few tracks by Donita Smith, a comedic songwriter, and some flamenco guitar by Brian Russo and its quality stuff. Dave in a certified engineer and he knows how to make the most with simple equipment, proving once again that it really doesn’t matter what you use as long as you have talent. Ice known guys who sink a fortune into sound equipment produce crap while a guy like Monowheel can bring out the bets tones with a few microphones and decent program.

I’m constantly amazed by the talent I find in riverside when you turn a rock over. The city is full of creative individuals that love a wide variety of music, art and literature. It reminds me of the song ‘Shakedown Street’ by the Grateful Dead, “Don’t tell me this town aint got no heart, you just gotta poke around.”
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Old 09-19-2012, 10:51 AM   #20664 (permalink)
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If I don't murder someone today it'll be a fucking miracle.
Hey, murdering is a sin.
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Old 09-19-2012, 02:58 PM   #20665 (permalink)
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Why would you pull your dick out and then shove your tongue down her throat? Why not, you know, take out the middle man? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge?
Pulling your junk out will leave her awe-struck, and when her mouth is open you french kiss the hell out of her.
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Old 09-19-2012, 03:21 PM   #20666 (permalink)
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Hey, murdering is a sin.
Then I guess I need the confessions thread
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i havent i refuse to in fact. it triggers my ptsd from yrs ago when i thought my ex's anal beads were those edible candy necklaces
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Keep it in your pants scottie.
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Old 09-19-2012, 05:46 PM   #20667 (permalink)
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Got my puppy Zappa fixed today. I'm currently on duty making sure that he doesn't run into things with his party hat.

Here's a pic for y'all:
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Old 09-19-2012, 06:05 PM   #20668 (permalink)
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If I don't murder someone today it'll be a fucking miracle.
join the club

except that I want to kill the entire human race every day
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what? i don't understand you. farming is for vegetables, not for meat. if ou disagree with a farming practice, you disagree on a vegetable. unless you have a different definition of farming.
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Old 09-19-2012, 06:50 PM   #20669 (permalink)
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Made plans to go out with a great girl on Sunday. She makes my heart smile so big =]
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Old 09-19-2012, 07:00 PM   #20670 (permalink)
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Today I heard a guy storm noisily into the men's room, take an extremely loud and juicy shit and then noisily exit the men's room without washing his hands.
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