Originally Posted by OccultHawk (Post 1946341)

You’re well ahead of schedule, poseur

Originally Posted by MicShazam (Post 1946340)

That probably depends on what we're talking about. Your brain retains it's ability to learn, so you can condition yourself to at least a degree.

That short speech David Foster Wallace gave to some college graduates once (titled "This Is Water") had a huge impact on me. Inside the last two years, I've successfully taught myself to exercise more of an active choice in how I think about the world - getting rid of unconstructive negative, annoyed, angry thoughts. It took months and months of failure, but now I'm serene like a monk except on my very worst days.

Originally Posted by grindy (Post 1946346)

And we all know how things worked out for David Foster Wallace...

Originally Posted by MicShazam (Post 1946347)

He was clinically depressed, which is something I'm not suggesting you can deal with any other way than seeing a brain doctor.

But yeah. Ironic. I take a lot of inspiration for how to live my life from a guy who hung himself.

Originally Posted by OccultHawk (Post 1946307)

Generally if you quote someone and post right under it...

Originally Posted by The Batlord (Post 1946328)

I honestly don't know how I'd measure up to you but I imagine you'd be right, but those obsessive thought loops are impossible. Your brain is obsessed with a thing and you know it's dumb, you know you should let it go, but if your brain was listening to your brain you'd be a millionaire right now, and of course your brain is never obsessed with things that will help you, just **** about how that person you're not sure how you feel about said something that got to you even though it's fine IT'S ****ING FINE you've heard it before they didn't even mean anything or maybe they did mean something but it was just an off the cuff remark it's not even accurate maybe it's accurate but it's not a revelation you know what they're talking about did they say that because they secretly hate you maybe it was obvious that they hate you but you dismissed it because you didn't want to feel paranoid you know most people don't have these constantly aggressive interpersonal interactions but if you were you and people didn't hate you then they might still react like this cause it's just the way this **** goes but of course maybe every single person on Earth wishes you would die, so whatevs. It'll all work out I guess.

Originally Posted by Lucem Ferre (Post 1946339)

Actually, I kept it secret until a few months ago despite it being planned years in advance and literally nobody else on the planet knows about it except you guys because I don't want anybody to stop me if I decide to do it.

It's obvious, as I already pointed out, that I don't want to die I just want **** to get better, but I'm not going to wait forever on that hope. Then I might become you.

Why I opened up about it here when I've never opened up about it anywhere else? I don't know, maybe because I know people here weren't going to give a ****. I've never threatened to kill myself before. I only ever brought it up on here when I was feeling low or impatient as more of a cry for help rather than attention. Contradictory to the fact that I knew nobody here would give a ****.

But you can go ahead and assume as if your personal opinion matters on the situation. I guess focusing on hating others distracts you from how much you hate yourself. I'm just glad that as self loathing as most of us are, we haven't become the miserable **** that you are.

Originally Posted by The Batlord (Post 1946351)

Maybe that says something about how your brain is not your playground but that you are your playground for your brain.

Originally Posted by OccultHawk (Post 1946354)

Signifying Rappers: Rap and Race in the Urban Present

anyone who names their book after a Schoolly D song deserves post suicide props

Originally Posted by Trollheart (Post 1946355)

That is one long-ass sentence without even one piece of punctuation! :yikes:

Originally Posted by MicShazam (Post 1946356)

I am my brain.

Originally Posted by The Batlord (Post 1946361)

Duh.



Nah. You are a high level process within your brain, but your brain is still doing all kinds of things otherwise. I would never assume that my consciousness was the entirety of my brain's processes.