Had a migraine bubbling all day and it finally let loose right at the end of work. Thank God I got through teaching today. Felt like I was gonna puke my guts out. Took a nap for multiple hours, woke up super sweaty but feeling fine. Now it’s almost bed time and I’m starved.

Linda had to drop everything and fly to Chicago last week for 4 days. Picked her up Sunday along with the nasty cold/flu germs she brought along. Can already feel it coming on.

My neighbors across the backyard who I have literally no contact with are having a backyard fire with "their people" and listening to them while smoking a cigarette is making me bitterly nostalgic as **** about last decade when I'd kick it with my juggalo friends in their backyard with a fire drinking and getting high and I'm feeling kinda frantic about making friends with just about anybody I know and I just don't have anybody to connect with.

Like, why does hanging out after high school have to be so difficult? I don't even like most people or want to spend time with them but I'm not god damn schizotypal so I still bleed being alone all the time. There's just nobody I feel a burning need to spend time with and even settling for just people to have a drink with is vastly problematic cause I'm so ****ing me that my whole life has been attempts by me that get blown off politely but obviously.

ATM I'm feeling quite ****ty and isolated but I have no outlet to connect with people so all I can do is try to lose myself in something, anything. Booze, Dragon Ball, Total War, anything that doesn't feel like being alone. Most of the time I can rationalize why I'm alone and don't want the company of most people I meet but in the end I just want to meet people who don't think I'm an alien. And everyone thinks I'm an alien.

There was like this one person who was cool like a year ago who I worked with who actually tried to hang out with me and we were cool as **** but a meetup never happened and then they quit without even exchanging numbers and I still think about it cause that was the first time in a decade where a real potential for a new friend presented themselves and now that's gone.

My shed offer still stands.

I'll live in your shed if there are friends with beer and weed.

You can watch me play video games and drink beer, if u you dont make a mess. I might even have some old weed in the bong since i quit smoking.

May I live in your shed?

I know how you feel, bats

I bet that’s small consolation however

Sorry Batty. Loneliness sucks ass. I’m glad you’re here.

Bats you need to find a comic book club or something. There's gotta be something like that around there. Then you'd have some fellow Dreddnaughts to gently envelop into the world of ICP.