Thanks Fred :) I haven't been truly happy for a very, very long time

hopin to get my car back from the mechanic so i have it for the wknd. i wanna get a new car soon but since mine is paid off its just so nice not havin the car payment lol. first real money ive put into it so i hope it doesnt become a usual thing now

Hate it when my piss stream breaks into two, especially when i am over at someone's house. One, it is too hard to stop when you are started, I mean, one line is goin where you want it, the other is goin **** knows where, the floor, the dog, your foot. Then you have to mop it up. Next time it happens i am gonna just punch my dick and see what happens.

I miss you :(. I'm a terrible friend.

Sit down when you pee? :soapbox:

Das fo pussies, literally.

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/i...ErihRkAaoB_CBh

Where da fuq you been?

I do that and it solves all problems. The idea that peeing sitting down is feminine is asinine - it's a matter of hygiene. The fact is that urine streams from penises splash pisswater all over the place when you pee standing up. I urge every man to try for themselves if they don't believe me. Pee naked and note how many little splatters you feel. That's your urine being sprayed on your legs and all over your bathroom. What are you trying to prove?

The only time I sit down to pee is if I'm drunk and don't feel like leaning back and forth or if I'm tired in the middle of the night and would rather just sit down.

Hey, we were all taught to pee standing up. Too bad nobody taught us about how much we're pissing on ourselves by doing so.

I had to learn as an adult tbh

Dude, I totally feel ya. Confession time: The last time that happened to me, it went aaaaalll down my leg. One stream looked normal and went into the toilet... the other one just went... down. I was wearing jeans though, so I didn't even feel it until it was all over. That was not a fun night.

You guys realize that only happens if the last time your penis was used it had semen cumming out. Every time I bust a nut then go piss however much time after, one stream hits the seat the other goes on the wall/cat/myface/whereever.

In 24 hours, I've only slept a half an hour. I feel completely fine.

Gots me a new sigfile...

Hahaha, so true.

Bought an electronic cigarette yesterday, it's not as cool as hermiones because I need to press a button to get the vapour but I ****ing love it. I bought a purple mouthpiece for it and have strawberry flavour <3

I saw a news story talking about how e-cigs are gaining in popularity. Then they decided to say that it's no alternative to taking the patch or some other shite. I don't know I didn't pay attention to it much after the initial claim.

I've tried the patch before, they're ****ing useless. They fall off your skin haha, that was the biggest problem I had with them and the pharmacy told me to try Sellotaping them to my skin.... UH NO hahaha.

hmm you'd think they would come up with a way for them to not fall off so much when that's their main purpose is to stay on your skin. lol

Silly manufacturers.

I know, at first I thought it was because I was playing basketball a lot and moving my arms loads, then I went on some college holidays and didn't play any and it still happened. ****wits. You'd think that would be the first thing they would conquer.

I have seen alot of strange videos but WTF did I just see there?

I don't care about it being feminine. It's just that standing up involves unzipping, whipping it out, and then getting down to business, vs. undoing your belt, pulling down your pants all the way down, sitting down, doing your business, getting back up, pulling your pants back up, and then redoing your belt.

http://img.pandawhale.com/30819-Swee...y-gif-j2gJ.gif

How do you take a dump then? Is there a flap on the ass of your pants?

:D
They're amazing aren't they? So much more convienient than reg cigarettes :)

I love smelling like an ashtray its so intoxicating.

Anything is better than the Eau de Dickcheese you seem to favour :)

I wish. It would make pooping in the woods a hell of a lot easier.

You're so witty and pwitty. Hit me up 1-800-382-5968

who's ****ing number is that even lmao

No clue. Bet dudes gonna be pissed though. LOL

Who's gonna call him? I never call anyone, I don't even answer my phone when people call ME

You'd be surprised. :dj:

My money's on Batty

I think he wants to finish off that drunken sex in the basement. I'll be sure to bring the lube. :ar_15s:

You're getting gay with Batty? Does he know?

He should figure it out pretty quick. :dj:

Hey. It was a garage. Get your facts straight. So to speak.