He'd like to take a bat to blue jeans.

I think I finally understand why people get upset about cultural appropriation. :(

lmfao

I miss school :(

I wonder if there is some place online that offers free courses in every conceivable subject.

I was watching tv this morning and saw a mattress commercial that used a watered down version of Pumped Up Kicks. lol The same exact notes just no lyrics.

Go there in full "Saturday night at the goth club" getup and ask for a job.

Today I was sweeping the parking lot at work and found a yarmulke on the ground. It went right into the trash. You abandoned god, not me, clean up after yourself, Joshua.

I'm really sick of trying to take a good long dump at work and having some ****ing halfwit keep knocking on the door. Bitch, go use the women's bathroom. They're single person bathrooms so there's no ****ing difference besides the lack of a urinal. Your dick will not fall off if you pee where women pee. And 9/10 it's some old dip**** who'd probably scoff at the idea of cooking for himself when he has a perfectly good wife to do it for him. God damn stupid raisin people.