The sauce is so weak it's mayonnaise.

My stepdad is upset about Black Friday and wants it to be called White Friday. Then he proceeded to make even more sexual comments about my small child nieces that make me uncomfortable. Like, literally every single time my nieces visit him he makes some weird disgusting creepy uncle comment. I just ate and went to bed, yesterday.

Full disclosure: apparently my cousin is hot. Please keep me away from family gatherings, I'm just gross.

You should have casually recommended that everyone watches Hard Candy.

How old is he?

I will acknowledge the pedophilia joke with "No comment" but smh at the homophobic joke.

I want to open a school for MB's lost boys and teach them basic coping skills and build up their self esteem and strengthen their emotional intelligence and teach them about vegetables and institutionalized racism and sexism and then they'll all build a bronze statue of me in my honor and my bronzed titties will forever be groped by the grubby paws of you ****ing whiny pathetic white boys.

Right on

Damn straight

Will you teach me how to seduce my cousins who are 18+?

No but I'll teach you how to seduce *yourself* spiritually