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Old 12-06-2020, 12:38 PM   #75781 (permalink)
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I have not. Who is that?


Okay, well thanks for that. It does sort of screw the story up a little but I'm sure I can work around it. Here's the proposed opening paragraph:

"Grabbed off the street for doin' nothin' but mindin' my own business, thrown in the back of a van and bundled into a cage without even a trial. No my friends, this is not some dark vision of some dystopian future - this is America in the twenty-first century, where just takin' a leak (we all got to do that, right?) can have the Man down on you like a ton of bricks."

Still working on it. Haven't even got a title yet, maybe Inside Story? I want it to be something that hints at it being a prison without giving anything away, so not like A Dog's Tail or In-cur-cerated or anything like that. Inside Tale?
IMO I think you should lean in to the dystopian future fantasy part and make it vague so it's not the American prison system but just some generic dystopian future where they grab you by the neck and throw you straight into a cell like they do at the dog pound.
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Old 12-06-2020, 12:58 PM   #75782 (permalink)
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IMO I think you should lean in to the dystopian future fantasy part and make it vague so it's not the American prison system but just some generic dystopian future where they grab you by the neck and throw you straight into a cell like they do at the dog pound.
Hmm. *takes notes*
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Old 12-06-2020, 01:02 PM   #75783 (permalink)
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And be very careful with your earthy vernacular. All those dropped g's like "Grabbed off the street for doin' nothin' but mindin' my own business" can get very hokey very quickly.
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There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 12-06-2020, 01:10 PM   #75784 (permalink)
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And be very careful with your earthy vernacular. All those dropped g's like "Grabbed off the street for doin' nothin' but mindin' my own business" can get very hokey very quickly.
I'm just envisioning how a street character would speak. I don't know nothin' about nothin', me.
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Old 12-06-2020, 01:41 PM   #75785 (permalink)
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I'm just envisioning how a street character would speak. I don't know nothin' about nothin', me.
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Old 12-06-2020, 02:02 PM   #75786 (permalink)
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I was going for more Sopranos than Shaft, but whatever. Hilarious piece of classic comedy.
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Old 12-06-2020, 02:13 PM   #75787 (permalink)
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Maybe don't go for that then.
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There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 12-06-2020, 02:39 PM   #75788 (permalink)
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I'm just envisioning how a street character would speak. I don't know nothin' about nothin', me.
bat is right... You need to learn the lingo in order to make it sound legit. Do your homework, trollheart.
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Old 12-07-2020, 07:55 AM   #75789 (permalink)
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I dunno what kinda rehabs Plankton went to but the program I was in felt more like jail than rehab. You don't pay for it. You work for free while you're a student. That's 9 months. Then you can get on contract and work for **** wages.

It's ghetto af. Half the people in there are on papers. Either trying to get a charge dropped or on parole. There's not a lot of deep introspection. And dudes will try you. You can let it slide to an extent before people see you as a bitch. So I don't wanna hear about how name calling is bad. You have to stand your ground.
Lets play "Who went to the worst rehab!" lol no lets not.

I've been through quite a few, actually. The one you're describing sounds a lot like a few of the ones I went through, but they were all there to help if you wanted it. If you are willing to go to any length to get clean, it doesn't matter what it "feels" like or what you think people see you as. Who tf cares. Focusing on those 'perceived' negatives only diminishes the positives. I just wanted to straighten my life out, not make an impression on the people around me. You have to either be brave enough to have that mindset, or you have to be at the end of your rope. I was the latter.

I've been through homelessness, many years of drug addiction, many rehabilitation systems, jail, and prison. Things gradually changed for the better when I finally stopped playing the victim and started taking responsibility for my actions. Finding out why I wanted to self medicate was a big part of that process, and you can do that anywhere.
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Old 12-07-2020, 08:38 AM   #75790 (permalink)
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Lets play "Who went to the worst rehab!" lol no lets not.

I've been through quite a few, actually. The one you're describing sounds a lot like a few of the ones I went through, but they were all there to help if you wanted it. If you are willing to go to any length to get clean, it doesn't matter what it "feels" like or what you think people see you as. Who tf cares. Focusing on those 'perceived' negatives only diminishes the positives. I just wanted to straighten my life out, not make an impression on the people around me. You have to either be brave enough to have that mindset, or you have to be at the end of your rope. I was the latter.

I've been through homelessness, many years of drug addiction, many rehabilitation systems, jail, and prison. Things gradually changed for the better when I finally stopped playing the victim and started taking responsibility for my actions. Finding out why I wanted to self medicate was a big part of that process, and you can do that anywhere.
Careful with that bootstrapping talk. You're likely to offend some delicate sensibilities.
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