Your Day

Freebase Dali · 06-01-2011, 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oojay

Dealing with divorce paperwork. Statement of Property, Statement of Income and Expenses, Notice of Mediation, Child Support forms, etc. Pure hellish bullsh*t. I don't see why Uncle Sam needs to have such a large hand in my personal relationship with my (soon to be ex) wife.

That sucks, man. Good luck throughout your adventure.
I don't want to trivialize your situation or poke fingers, but it's stuff like this that makes me very happy to be unmarried.
I know not all marriages end in disaster, but I have polled many "happily" married friends and even they say I shouldn't get married.

So far, I'm pretty goddamned happy with the decision!
But in the interest of knowledge, what would you say went wrong with your marriage, and what advice would you have for someone who may be considering tying the noose... er.. knot?

~~[MERIT]~~ · 06-01-2011, 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freebase Dali

But in the interest of knowledge, what would you say went wrong with your marriage, and what advice would you have for someone who may be considering tying the noose... er.. knot?

When assessing what went wrong, it tends to both piss me off and sadden me, because most of it was out of my control.

Not that it was a contributing factor, but my wife is medically diagnosed as bipolar and paranoid schizophrenic. It's not her fault, so I cannot hold it against her, nor have I ever tried to. She sometimes decided to hate me out of the blue and was not always in her right frame of mind. This made it hard for both of us, but I love her regardless and worked through it.

--She was having a bipolar episode 2 summers ago, and her father and I had no choice but to have her committed to a mental hospital against her will. She was awake for over a week straight, having lucid conversations with her dead relatives and drawing all over herself with markers. I was extremely worried about her safety. Even though it was for her own good, she held the hospital stay against me from that day forward.

--Back in June of 2009 I was diagnosed with epilepsy. She saw my seizures as a burden on her, having to "babysit" me as she put it.

--She refused to work, and I did not make enough to pay all of the rent and the bills (most of which were hers), so we were forced to move in with family. She resented me for not being as good of a provider as she deserved.

--I lost my job earlier this year due to taking a medical leave for my epilepsy, and she again resented me for this.

--She says that I was not supportive enough of her post-partum depression after having our son, she resented me for that. I did everything I could, but it's hard to help a problem that is in someone's head. I did what I could, but she was really shut off and distant, so there wasn't much that I could do.

--In summation, it was mostly her resentment towards me that did us in. She told me that if I made more money and could afford our own apartment then she wouldn't have filed for divorce (really make's me feel loved you know).

As far as any tips? If considering tying the not, remember that you also have enough rope to hang yourself. Choose wisely.

Freebase Dali · 06-01-2011, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oojay

When assessing what went wrong, it tends to both piss me off and sadden me, because most of it was out of my control.

Not that it was a contributing factor, but my wife is medically diagnosed as bipolar and paranoid schizophrenic. It's not her fault, so I cannot hold it against her, nor have I ever tried to. She sometimes decided to hate me out of the blue and was not always in her right frame of mind. This made it hard for both of us, but I love her regardless and worked through it.

--She was having a bipolar episode 2 summers ago, and her father and I had no choice but to have her committed to a mental hospital against her will. She was awake for over a week straight, having lucid conversations with her dead relatives and drawing all over herself with markers. I was extremely worried about her safety. Even though it was for her own good, she held the hospital stay against me from that day forward.

--Back in June of 2009 I was diagnosed with epilepsy. She saw my seizures as a burden on her, having to "babysit" me as she put it.

--She refused to work, and I did not make enough to pay all of the rent and the bills (most of which were hers), so we were forced to move in with family. She resented me for not being as good of a provider as she deserved.

--I lost my job earlier this year due to taking a medical leave for my epilepsy, and she again resented me for this.

--She says that I was not supportive enough of her post-partum depression after having our son, she resented me for that. I did everything I could, but it's hard to help a problem that is in someone's head. I did what I could, but she was really shut off and distant, so there wasn't much that I could do.

--In summation, it was mostly her resentment towards me that did us in. She told me that if I made more money and could afford our own apartment then she wouldn't have filed for divorce (really make's me feel loved you know).

As far as any tips? If considering tying the not, remember that you also have enough rope to hang yourself. Choose wisely.

Damn, man.. that's what I'd call non-standard circumstances.
Well hopefully things get better for both of you. But it's one of those things you can never fully get away from, I guess, what with the kid and all.

I agree with the choose wisely bit. Personally, I'm far too cognizant of my own faults to let some poor girl be fooled into tying the knot with me. By the time I'm ok with myself, I'll probably only have a pool of cougars with a lot of baggage to pick from, though.

Flyingpig437 · 06-02-2011, 11:15 AM

Some guys my dad asked to mend the washing machine turned up at the door a bit back wanting to repair the aerial. I've rang my folks on their mini-break and the upshot is that when they come back my dad's told me to just tell them he doesn't want them 'anywhere near his house' and they've to 'go away' and that they're 'usless'! Mmmmmh!

duga · 06-02-2011, 12:47 PM

Finally got a lot of things that have been on the back burner taken care of. I've signed up for classes (going back after nearly 3 years...yikes) and I have potentials for my committee. I'm starting to feel like a real grad student...

EvilChuck · 06-02-2011, 01:33 PM

Some amateur tried to rob a bank round my way. He did this by strapping a bomb to himself, and taking hostages inside the bank... before letting them go and staying in the bank alone, threatening to detonate the bomb. It turned out that the bomb was 'not a viable device' AKA it was a pretend bomb.

Where I work is a choice of RBS, Halifax, NatWest, Nationwide, HSBC, Barclays, Abbey National... he chose to try and rob the Co-Op bank.

As I said, total amateur.

FETCHER. · 06-02-2011, 01:45 PM

lol I just overheard that on sky news. But I was too busy occupying myself on facebook.

EvilChuck · 06-02-2011, 01:50 PM

That means you now know where I live!

FETCHER. · 06-02-2011, 01:56 PM

This has got to be the most depressing Thursday of the year by far. The first time since last December I've not been to the pub. No petrol. No money. No social life. Everyones going aswell. I never drink on a Thursday either, that's whats pissing me off more. The fact I can't even afford to not drink. FML.

FRED HALE SR. · 06-02-2011, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aurora

This has got to be the most depressing Thursday of the year by far. The first time since last December I've not been to the pub. No petrol. No money. No social life. Everyones going aswell. I never drink on a Thursday either, that's whats pissing me off more. The fact I can't even afford to not drink. FML.

Guys don't buy girls drinks in bars over there? Chivalry is dead.

06-02-2011, 11:15 AM	#16114 (permalink)
Flyingpig437 Music Addict Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 534	Some guys my dad asked to mend the washing machine turned up at the door a bit back wanting to repair the aerial. I've rang my folks on their mini-break and the upshot is that when they come back my dad's told me to just tell them he doesn't want them 'anywhere near his house' and they've to 'go away' and that they're 'usless'! Mmmmmh! __________________ Proper music for proper people!!!

06-02-2011, 12:47 PM	#16115 (permalink)
duga MB quadrant's JM Vincent Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Washington, DC Posts: 3,762	Finally got a lot of things that have been on the back burner taken care of. I've signed up for classes (going back after nearly 3 years...yikes) and I have potentials for my committee. I'm starting to feel like a real grad student... __________________ Confusion will be my epitaph...

06-02-2011, 01:33 PM	#16116 (permalink)
EvilChuck #based Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: (Near) London, England Posts: 443	Some amateur tried to rob a bank round my way. He did this by strapping a bomb to himself, and taking hostages inside the bank... before letting them go and staying in the bank alone, threatening to detonate the bomb. It turned out that the bomb was 'not a viable device' AKA it was a pretend bomb. Where I work is a choice of RBS, Halifax, NatWest, Nationwide, HSBC, Barclays, Abbey National... he chose to try and rob the Co-Op bank. As I said, total amateur. __________________ Last.FM

06-02-2011, 01:50 PM	#16118 (permalink)
EvilChuck #based Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: (Near) London, England Posts: 443	That means you now know where I live! __________________ Last.FM