Your Day

Ol’ Qwerty Bastard · 12-05-2016, 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Batlord

I think cultural appropriation is generally a buzzword to give self-righteous college kids one more thing to bitch about, but a girl who thinks that a dreamcatcher tattoo would be wizard yo, but is trying to weasel her way around what she sees as a touchy subject is actually kinda douchey imo. Tell her to quit being a hypocrite and either forget it or quit being an idiot and accept that a dreamcatcher tattoo is not a war crime against the Injuns.

i think maybe you misread her post?

Paedantic Basterd · 12-05-2016, 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frownland

What you wrote right here sounds like a reasonable thing to tell her, with a little rewording.

Right, so I did just tell her "It's worth considering that First Nations people can be sensitive about the propagation of their cultural imagery by white people with no understanding of the meaning behind it, and I just wanted to let you know that in case you'd like to factor it into your decision" and now I'm accused of being condescending and offering unwanted advice, as well as getting a lecture about how "these ideas can be for anyone" and she's "not the first white girl to do it" and now I think we're actually in a fight over it?

Jesus Christ you can't ever win with anybody when you try and be conscious of PC issues. Doesn't matter what you say or do, there's always someone to bitch about how or why you did it.

Lucem Ferre · 12-05-2016, 01:50 PM

You only feel 'guilty' because you still have feelings for her, Ki. Feelings that you are in denial of and we all know it's bull****. So what you need to do is get laid. Because despite the fact that you have become a whiny little pussy you could probably find better than her.

Edit: Actually, don't listen to me, I don't give the best life advice.

Edit: I meant on the getting laid part. That probably won't help, but it's worth a try.

Key · 12-05-2016, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lucem Ferre

You only feel 'guilty' because you still have feelings for her, Ki. Feelings that you are in denial of and we all know it's bull****. So what you need to do is get laid. Because despite the fact that you have become a whiny little pussy you could probably find better than her.

Gee thanks.

Plankton · 12-05-2016, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paedantic Basterd

My best friend has asked me to draw her a tattoo that I understand to be culturally-appropriative in nature. Although I have mixed feelings about the topic of cultural appropriation, I'm just not comfortable helping a white girl get a dream catcher tattoo when I know that it's a point of contention for Native Americans and First Nations people. Soooooo how do I tell her I don't want to do it without actually pissing her off?

If your friend would be upset because of your not wanting to do something that makes you feel uneasy, what ever the circumstances are, then you need to consider what type of friend she is. I got rid of petty people like that a long time ago. Life is way too short to have to deal with that kind of BS.

Gee, all kinds of advise here.

Edit: See?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paedantic Basterd

Right, so I did just tell her "It's worth considering that First Nations people can be sensitive about the propagation of their cultural imagery by white people with no understanding of the meaning behind it, and I just wanted to let you know that in case you'd like to factor it into your decision" and now I'm accused of being condescending and offering unwanted advice, as well as getting a lecture about how "these ideas can be for anyone" and she's "not the first white girl to do it" and now I think we're actually in a fight over it?

Jesus Christ you can't ever win with anybody when you try and be conscious of PC issues. Doesn't matter what you say or do, there's always someone to bitch about how or why you did it.

**Frownland** · 12-05-2016, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paedantic Basterd

Right, so I did just tell her "It's worth considering that First Nations people can be sensitive about the propagation of their cultural imagery by white people with no understanding of the meaning behind it, and I just wanted to let you know that in case you'd like to factor it into your decision" and now I'm accused of being condescending and offering unwanted advice, as well as getting a lecture about how "these ideas can be for anyone" and she's "not the first white girl to do it" and now I think we're actually in a fight over it?

Jesus Christ you can't ever win with anybody when you try and be conscious of PC issues. Doesn't matter what you say or do, there's always someone to bitch about how or why you did it.

Ja I was going to mention not bringing up the white part. White people hate being reminded that they're white.

The Batlord · 12-05-2016, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Qwertyy

i think maybe you misread her post?

That I did. Ped... quit being an idiot. It's a tattoo, not a feathered headdress.

Paedantic Basterd · 12-05-2016, 02:01 PM

Oh Plank.

Thing is, if I got rid of everyone in my life who had a personality defect, there'd be nobody left, because we're all flawed individuals who need to learn how to negotiate and tolerate one another's bull****. Certainly there needs to be a bull**** threshold, but it can't be that low.

People don't ever see themselves as "I want my friend to do something that makes her uncomfortable". What they perceive is "my friend is lecturing me because she thinks she knows more than me" or "my friend doesn't like the idea and is trying to convince me not to do it passive-aggressively" or "my friend is trying to control what I do with my body".

Cultivating long-term friendships is a giant game of reading, reacting to, and reframing people's behaviour so you don't hate each other after like 2 years of friendship.

And yes, it's possible that this is largely what it's like to cultivate female friendships rather than male ones, but the quality is also different for what you put into it. So maybe I don't have to put up with any of Tom or Ian's bull****, but I also can't ask them to listen and support me when I have an existential crisis either.

Plankton · 12-05-2016, 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paedantic Basterd

Oh Plank.

Thing is, if I got rid of everyone in my life who had a personality defect, there'd be nobody left, because we're all flawed individuals who need to learn how to negotiate and tolerate one another's bull****. Certainly there needs to be a bull**** threshold, but it can't be that low.

People don't ever see themselves as "I want my friend to do something that makes her uncomfortable". What they perceive is "my friend is lecturing me because she thinks she knows more than me" or "my friend doesn't like the idea and is trying to convince me not to do it passive-aggressively" or "my friend is trying to control what I do with my body".

Cultivating long-term friendships is a giant game of reading, reacting to, and reframing people's behaviour so you don't hate each other after like 2 years of friendship.

And yes, it's possible that this is largely what it's like to cultivate female friendships rather than male ones, but the quality is also different for what you put into it. So maybe I don't have to put up with any of Tom or Ian's bull****, but I also can't ask them to listen and support me when I have an existential crisis either.

People also like to complicate the hell out of things.

Ol’ Qwerty Bastard · 12-05-2016, 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frownland

Ja I was going to mention not bringing up the white part. White people hate being reminded that they're white.

it's true. if you really want to make her mad tell her to 'check her privilege'

12-05-2016, 02:01 PM	#41018 (permalink)
Paedantic Basterd Music Addict Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 5,184	Oh Plank. Thing is, if I got rid of everyone in my life who had a personality defect, there'd be nobody left, because we're all flawed individuals who need to learn how to negotiate and tolerate one another's bull**. Certainly there needs to be a bull threshold, but it can't be that low. People don't ever see themselves as "I want my friend to do something that makes her uncomfortable". What they perceive is "my friend is lecturing me because she thinks she knows more than me" or "my friend doesn't like the idea and is trying to convince me not to do it passive-aggressively" or "my friend is trying to control what I do with my body". Cultivating long-term friendships is a giant game of reading, reacting to, and reframing people's behaviour so you don't hate each other after like 2 years of friendship. And yes, it's possible that this is largely what it's like to cultivate female friendships rather than male ones, but the quality is also different for what you put into it. So maybe I don't have to put up with any of Tom or Ian's bull**, but I also can't ask them to listen and support me when I have an existential crisis either.