Intimate Relationships
 

Linda and I grew up in the same small town and attended the same high school. We didn't actually "meet" until we ended up working together after HS in 1979. Our first arkward kiss was on Christmas day of that year, because our co-workers recognized the chemistry before we did, and forced us under some mistletoe.

Our first date was about a week later. We went to a club to see a band. First thing I did before getting out of the car was to plant a proper kiss on her and say "Now that that's out of the way, let's have some fun".

We came within inches of getting down that first night but agreed it wasn't right.

We ****ed for the first time the next day.

37 years later.......

https://scontent.fsan1-2.fna.fbcdn.n...1c&oe=5933D294

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(I can't relate to all of this recent debate about one night stands - although I'm a major fan of not raping drunken girls)

I know I probably have longevity on most of you, but I'd love to hear some stories.

Ja I have a girlfriend too and we're having a good time <3

lol

i've been going steady with my right hand man for 7 or 8 years now.

I wank with my left hand.

When I broke my metacarpals I learned to wank with my right hand.

are you left handed or are you just one of those weirdos who do it with their off-hand?

Left handed.

Your wife looks about as good as that spaghetti.

I broke my right hand years back and had to learn how to write, wank, blow my nose, and wipe my ass with my left hand pretty much overnight.

Back to the OP. No interesting realtionship stories??????

Wrong site, bro. We losers.

I ****ed a drunk bitch I met in a bar and then beat off when she told me about the abortion.

I can't relate, though it's lovely to see long-time married couples who actually like each other. (I actually cannot think of a single married couple I know in real life who seem to be even slightly in love with each other) My longest relationship was a mere two years.

I could tell mine I suppose, I'm really over her but she was one of the best things that's happened to me so far.

Go for it, I've heard snippets of it but I never got the full story.

Alright, let's set the story.

It's senior year of high school. I'm in the two piece General Disregard with my at the time friend Neil Chott: a Chicago native, drug dealer, and probably the most genuinely "punk" person I've ever met. We've known each other since late 2014, bonding over a love of punk rock and film. I was fine with the drug dealing bit of him but made it clear that I wanted no part in that aspect of his life. For those two years, he was the guy I talked to and hung out with the most, even though I had closer friends (like Alex, Nikki, and Chris), our schedules just ended up lining up the most. Through the time I knew him he tried to shape me into something else, but not necessarily in a forcing way. I was sick of being this introverted teenager who did nothing but listen to music and go to school. I knew I wasn't comfortable in certain social situations but I wanted to be... I guess I wanted to just feel good, you know? I wanted to have fun while I was in high school, hang out with people, and most of all have close friends. I wanted that like hell. Someone who wasn't casual but was attentive and loved me for who I was. Neil, on the other hand, had the complete opposite personality as me. He was loud, rebellious, and assertive. I certainly didn't want to be him, but I wanted to do the things he did. I wanted to go to shows and enjoy life, enjoy my friendships, and feel comfortable with my life. So senior year during lunch, there was this girl at the table next to ours that I thought was sort of cute, and carried around a South Park lunchbox. I expressed to him that I thought this and wanted his help getting her. This was probably the biggest mistake I ever made with him. For the next couple months, he pressed me on and on how to do this and that, "training" me to talk to this random chick that I didn't know at all. I made a single attempt to talk to her, which didn't last long and was very awkward, sitting at their table under the guise of talking to one of her other friends that I knew and simply complimenting her lunchbox. Neil liked to use my introversion during this time as an insult, going at lengths to make me feel worthless and like a social outcast. He started amongst his friends, which reached most of the student body, the naming of me as "Mr. Bergers" and acted as if he was my guide to becoming an actual operating human being and as if I was helpless socially. You can imagine that at this point, combining from the **** I was getting from him and my own social insecurities, I felt pretty poorly about myself.

But then something happened. My friend Nathan set up an AP Statistics review session with his boyfriend Bobby and his friend Olivia, which I had previously met while in the class and gone to lunch with the two of them. During this session, I had quite the time. I got both of them to laugh and did much more talking and hanging out than studying. From this meeting, I changed my views on myself. I realized that perhaps I wasn't quite as socially disabled as Neil led me to believe. Dating Olivia wasn't even a thought in my mind during this time. She was incredibly attractive and confident, thus way out of my league. She did things and presumably actually did things with her life, and so I catalogued her in my mind as superior to me, and thought not of it.

But then a few weeks passed. I had seen her around school during then and talked to her in passing whenever I got a chance. I didn't realize it yet, but I had a massive crush on her. I recommended her listen to Kid A based on her tastes in Blur and the Strokes, and badgered Nathan a bit in art class to ask her what she ended up thinking about it. But instead, he told her I was wondering if she was free that weekend. When he showed me what he asked, I freaked out. Knowing her, a fiercely independent and outspoken young woman, I thought I was going to get my ass beat. But then the response came, "no, but I wish". Immediately, all these feelings rushed towards me... the thought that someone could actually find me attractive in any sense was something that I'd never considered. Even after this, I still couldn't believe it and didn't know whether to pursue her any further. Besides, we were different people. It'd never work. But after the course of a week I considered it more, and eventually confronted Nathan, who said he could tell me at any time whether she was single or not or to help me out any further. At this time, I ended up seeing Olivia every day in the hallway, her face would light up and she would touch my arm in passing, giving me greetings. Neil, bewildered, started up one day witnessing it as we walked from my first period. "How's it feel to know Nathan's a better wingman than you?", I told him.

Jump to the last day of high school, or mine at least. Due to my exams being already complete, I needed not to attend the final day, but was there the previous Friday, in which the Senior picnic took place. I sat down in the middle of the field with who I was with the previous period, happening to be Nikki. We found and met up with Nathan, who was sitting next to Olivia. I gave my yearbook to her, as she was one of the few who had yet to sign it. She smiled and obliged, during which I turned around to talk to some other friends. When I turned back, she had gone off to talk to some people she'd never see again, and I picked up the yearbook. She signed it with her number, and the text "Tristan... you should call me". She met back up with the group, and I made an effort to talk more to her, and following the picnic, accompanied her and Nathan to her convertible Lexus, as she was going to drive him home. As a parting, we hugged for the first time, giddy and smiling. But, it turned out to be, as she did say, awkward, as I stumbled into it. I asked if she wanted to try again, to which she, bursting with a smile, again obliged into a full embrace. This was, as I then realized, the turning point of my life and the start of my adulthood.

We texted nonstop in the days leading up the the first date, and I got to know her as a fellow introvert who felt she had no real relationships and did nothing substantial with her time. This boosted my confidence even further, and led to the Wednesday morning that we first met by our lonesomes. I picked her up at her house, and we went to an outdoor shopping center called Cameron Village, which was not really my ideal choice of an area but was what my parents suggested would be better than going to Raleigh in the summer, with it's parking regulations and widespread nature. We walked around for a bit and talked, but quickly realized the stores worth going to were closed and nothing really interesting for a first date was there. We sat down to eat at a restaurant, and realizing we didn't really want anything from there but having waters already made, made a sudden plan to dash and go to Schoolkids records, owing to a fun little moment together. We went to Schoolkids, looked at records, and then ate at a nearby pizza place, where we talked about our families and lives. Then, she chose to go to a bookstore, and we drove to the first I saw on my GPS, Nice Price Books, which we found to be 60% music centered. I flipped through the dollar CDs and the Modest Mouse vinyl, telling her stories of each record I came across. I bought her a Bots CD and she got the Communist Manifesto, being a proud socialist she felt naked without one.

After this, we decided to walk around the surrounding streets. We ventured into a neighborhood, and came to a dead end at a fence. She confronted me with the question, would I want to turn around and go back to the car or keep walking around? I chose to continue walking, and at this point, she surprised me and grabbed a hold of my hand. I looked at her, smiles reaching both our cheeks, and ventured out into the neighborhood that connected us with the NC State campus. We talked music, her distaste of Neutral Milk Hotel, and each others personalities, never letting go of each others grip. We weaved in and out of parked cars and under the tree canopied college, and eventually made our way back to the car, in which we decided on going to a park close to her house. Instead of walking, we decided to just sit and chat, in which she leaned against me and allowed me to hold on to her. We cuddled and talked, grinning the entire time and complimenting each other, and then I kissed her neck, her cheek, and then had my first kiss. And then second kiss. And first french kiss. And second french kiss. It was a rather humid day, and we were both quite sweaty, but we were elated to be with each other and found comfort and safety in our arms.

To be continued because this is long as ****.

tl;dr

Holy **** I am not reading that. At least give us the cliffsnotes to wet our appetites.

Bitch I'm not even halfway done with this. If you care you'll read but I'm not expecting anyone to. I'm doing this partly for myself, otherwise I wouldn't be spending so much time writing it.

i read it. it was cute up until the communist stuff but then got cute again.

she definitely sounds like an interesting girl, but after all that you've went through i'm glad you moved on. oh and that Neil guy sounds like a prick.

The most intimate relationship I've had is with my current best friend. Unfortunately, she's married with kids. It's the kind of thing where we just clicked immediately, and under different circumstances we'd probably be together, but I have to respect that she wants to do the right thing for her family. After we decided to end things physically it's been pretty hard, we both have to keep ourselves in check, and there have been a few very emotional slip ups, but I'd rather have it this way than not have her in my life at all. It's honestly probably best for both of us to just distance ourselves, but we aren't there yet. And if anyone is thinking it's just a fling, it's been a 3 year emotional rollercoaster. I normally have no problems being friends with women, even ones I'm attracted to, this time it's just different.

In the meantime, I'm hoping to meet someone that makes me even half as happy as she does, but online dating is a real bitch.

I remember this starting. Was supposed to be fun and fancy free?

The story gets better, I'll post the rest in a few minutes

also

Tevin Cofield Mugshot | 07/28/14 North Carolina Arrest

Yeh, it was supposed to be, but feelings and ish. I don't think either of us expected it to turn out this way. It's a work in progress, what can I say. lol

Ya never know when the lights are going to go out. Enjoy whatever is in front of you, as best as you can, while you can.

Don't listen to him, he's an idiot.

yesistrue.

In leaving, we both agreed to not tell and give credit to Nathan for how happy we turned out that day. I went over to his house a few days later in order for her to drive us both into Raleigh for graduation practice, and as I discovered, neither of us had kept our promise. The doorbell rang and outside the door I saw her shape. This person, she was my girlfriend. She was closer to me even early on than anyone else in my life had been. I thought many things until I reached the door to greet her with another embrace and a kiss. I couldn't believe that I was at this moment of my life. Our second date, and we agreed to switch each other planning them, she arranged to be a surprise picnic. We cuddled and kissed the whole afternoon, having no plans bar each other. But then, I realized I wanted to tell her something and found it escaping my lips: I loved her. She happily returned this sentiment. For the next few days, we discussed on how quickly we found how compatible, comfortable, and caring we both were, and how we both realized we had fallen for each other. This early love grew and grew, until one day she wanted me to come to her house without a parent. I clarified that I was not wanting to advance that fast and have sex, but she told me that she didn't want that either. I hinted to her my situation, and then we both discovered that we felt asexuality described us well. It seems crazy, and for sure I was acting on impulse, but crying and feeling so much emotion, I expressed to her one night over text just how deeply I cared about her, and told her I thought she could be the "one". Both of us crying, we felt the same way. We had both found people who cared and loved the same amount about each other. This lasted a long time, us planning on marriage and at one point looking into getting promise rings for each other. I remember PMing Mordwyr asking for advice due to his level of commitment to his own love, and he expressed happiness for me and good advice as to what to think about my situation. At the end of June, we both went on vacations, in which we had a final date where we went to her neighborhood pool and then to my house to eat the dinner my parents prepared and invited her to. We had an intense goodbye, standing by her car, sobbing and telling each other how much we’d miss each other for that week and a half and what we’d do once we were back in each other’s arms. I went on a trip to Philadelphia and then New York, where after two days we boarded on cruise on the way to Saint Johns and Halifax in Nova Scotia. During the cruise I was unable to contact her, but before we were able to say further goodbyes. The cruise was immensely fun, and seeing Riley’s homeland was neat, but I did miss her intensely, and waited patiently for a time when we could yet again hold hands and whisper sweet nothings yada yada yada

Anyways so we both got back, we went to see Modest Mouse and Brand New, and she eventually got me a job at the grocery store she worked at, since so many other places weren’t following through with anything I sent out to them. Later, I convinced my parents with a lot of talk into going to the beach with her dad’s family. This was a few weeks until her semester started so it would be the last chance for us to be close before we were 2 hours apart for the rest of our relationship. During this time, I was finally able to sleep next to my future wife and felt immensely happy. Once she left for school though, is when I started feeling immensely insecure. I couldn’t imagine life without her, and she couldn’t with me. We meant the world to each other, and initially it was very hard to date long distance. My insecurities shaped into baseless accusations and freak outs. I would claim that sometimes I felt like I didn’t know if she loved me or not, or that I wished I could spend more time with her while she was home. In October, it got so bad that one thing I said rendered her to think the relationship was going sour, and she said precious little to me (nothing on one particular day) for about a week, only getting back up to speed when I talked to my mom and came to the conclusion that maybe the hard and fast love that comes with promising for marriage wasn’t doing us any favors along with the distance. From now on, we’d be more comfortable with each other, we thought. I would try to contain my insecurities as best I could, and I would try to understand her better. Meanwhile, the anxieties I knew she was suffering from and my insecurities just damaged her greatly. She claims that she suffered panic attacks because of certain things I said to her, and she wanted me to understand her like I needed to. It’s hard to say how I felt during these last few months, because they went everywhere emotionally, but I knew I loved her and I knew she loved me. But it was clear that the relationship was strained. She would come home every other week, I’d come over, buy her and her mom food from the mexican place next to my work, and we’d cuddle and watch movies. This was the tradition since she’d moved away. But from about November to December, the school work became too much for both of us, and once during her Thanksgiving break was the last time I saw her while we were dating. We spoke less and less as I was giving her more space to complete the schoolwork and prepare for exams. This lack of communication and understanding each other’s side during this time and throughout the long distance portion of the relationship proved to be too much, and it broke the week in December in which she finally came home for winter break. She was tired from school and had a hectic schedule, though I was anxious to see her and was looking forward to this month being like Summer was again, blissfully seeing each other often and feeling intensely in love. But the Monday she came home, she was too tired, and cancelled our hanging out in favor of sleep. We rescheduled to Thursday, it was fine. I would see her plenty after her hectic holiday season anyways and we’d be fine again. But in the back of my mind I knew it was far from fine between us. I claimed we were best friends, but what had our relationship become at this point? The flame had long gone, our chemistry was lost between the 1s and 0s of our text messages. She texted me Wednesday night after a long silence, in which I believed she was at a movie with a friend. She apparently had a dentist appointment scheduled that day, and in the confusion forgot on the calendar. Thursday was cancelled. I expressed that I missed her and was saddened. But this was the last straw to her, I guess. The time she made for me was never enough, she said. She clearly couldn’t give me what I needed, she said. She felt smothered by me, and during this newfound adulthood independence, the last thing she needed was someone so rooted to her. We went on break, with promise that we’d still hang out a bit, have Christmas, and be close friends. This was just after our 6 month mark starting in December. On the first time we hung out, I sobbed and told her we needed to talk at some point. I wanted closure. I wanted to get back together, and I missed us. But I think it was obvious even to myself that our relationship wasn’t what it was before. I wanted it to get back to where we were, and December was going to fix that, but it ended up not happening. Through the next few months we did talk and try to remain friends, but what I was doing was straining us further. I didn’t respect the space she wanted, and with time we’ve just lost contact. She ignores texts, even like during the Christmas we had I asked if she needed more time getting ready before I left, and I had to call for her to finally answer. It took me until mid February until I was finally over her, but I won’t look on the relationship like it didn’t happen. We were in love, and she’s given me some of the best memories I’ve ever had. I’ve never had a friend so close, or felt so understood. She gave me back my confidence in myself, and I can never thank her enough. Because of her, I don’t feel ugly, unwanted, or undesirable. Even though we aren’t friends right now, I feel like time heals all wounds. I don’t know our future together, and I don’t want to date her anytime soon, but I respect the hell out of her and her independence. She made me into a better person and I certainly changed her.

Oh and this next part goes in the timeline right about after I got back from Canada, but before I left there was a big fight with Neil and our recently new member, Rio, who’s been a friend of mine since about 10th grade and also a huge punk fan. So she had this racist prick of a boyfriend (I can delve more on him later, he was certainly a character) who ended up cheating on her and breaking up with her because of her “problems”, like normal anxiety and insecurities that he was too much of an ******* to confront and help her with. So me and Neil, being friends with the guy, knew this from back when I was in high school, while poor Rio was distraught with reasons why he broke up with her and why he treated her the way he did. Well I mistakenly believed one thing (I still am not sure what exactly happened) while Ethan knew the truth, and one practice (still before cruise) I was driving her to work, and the conversation with Neil ended up turning towards Ethan. I, being the emotional guy I am, felt awful for her, she was clearly distressed and feeling like a piece of ****, just like I was a couple months back, and Neil wasn’t helping at all by being loyal to Ethan and not really caring how Rio felt like. So I drove her to work, and her condition got progressively worse, as she almost got on the verge of tears. Slowly, I began hinting on what had happened before. Ethan had cheated on her with her best friend. Once she realized, she didn’t feel bad, it didn’t ruin her life, and she didn’t hate her. Now she knew. But Neil, being still in on the conversation through both of us texting, and him ranting to me through my own phone about how big a piece of **** I was. I dropped Rio off at work and prepared for the fireworks from Neil. I needed to respect Ethan, he said. Rio’s feelings didn’t matter and she didn’t need closure. Her best friend ended up not having cheated on her, but at this point Neil had shown his true colors as a misogynist piece of **** that cared more about keeping contacts and the bro code and not his friends feelings (she’s in a good healthy relationship right now by the way, I’m really proud and happy for her). Anyways so after the vacation, these feelings still stood between us. Then one night he gave me a call. There was a lot of money at stake and he wanted me to find a way to pick him up and drive him to what I assume was a deal for a hard drug, definitely more risky than the pot, adderall, and xanax he would regularly sell. Condescendingly, he told me how this would lead me towards me own freedom and independence. I needed to do this to become a proper adult. I certainly didn’t want to say no, I hate upsetting people and I considered him somewhat of a friend. But fumbling around his requests and manipulating, I told him I couldn’t. He claimed I was a pussy for not just getting out of what I was doing with my parents that day and forming lie after lie as to what I would say to them I was doing. But I stayed strong. I told him I would not. He said some very hurtful stuff afterwards, and I hung up on him. A week later, he texts me asking the next time we’re gonna practice. I tell him, you’re just gonna forget about what happened? I tell him that I don’t need him to hold my hand, and to look at the life I’ve created for myself without his miraculous “guidance”. I have a girlfriend. I didn’t need his crack help. I have a job, I have friends, and I don’t need him treating me like **** and bringing negativity into my life. He claims I’m a pussy and to call him to really talk it out. I told him I’ve already said what I need to. And never talked to him again. That was in July, and it’s still true almost a year later. Without Olivia though? Who knows? Maybe I wouldn’t have stood up to him, maybe I wouldn’t feel that surge of confidence I did and want to cut off one of the only friends I thought I had. But, I had her, and I had her at the right time.

I’m sure I don’t have to tell you guys about that whole friend problem I had from the time we broke up until recent but I’ll explain if anyone wants to know.


http://i.imgur.com/HF109Tz.jpg

Neils mugshots: Tevin Cofield Mugshot | 07/28/14 North Carolina Arrest

tl;dr: My friend/bandmate made me feel like **** in high school, met girl, fell in love, stood up to *******, dated her long distance, grew apart from distance and insecurities, took a break in december, grew more apart because I felt friendless and still wanted to be close, haven't talked and relationship currently is uncertain but I don't regret anything and I have a fresh aspect on life and have confidence and appreciation for myself like never before, all thanks to what she did for me

It's good that you learned something from the experience.. People grow apart, that's life, but I always try to remember all the amazing things I learn from each person that has made a difference from my life, and I'll always appreciate them. It's okay to miss them, just don't let it bring you down.

Thanks man :) I'm gonna go read your post now because I focused too much energy on writing mine.

:( sorry man, I hope you find that person, and I'm sure you will eventually

This was an edit, but you missed it so:

You guys look so happy in that pic. It looks like a very nice memory you captured. I'd share some of my own, but I'm not trying to put her face on here without asking.

I only put it up because I have before, and she was fine with it.

omg your avatar

For sure. Really nice picture.

Thanks!

****ing kids always gotta ruin everything. And they are gross and they smell bad and they are annoying and they break **** and they always make a mess and they don't know how to appreciate things. I really don't get why we have pedophiles.

^I say **** like that so my relationships don't last long.

I only really liked two chicks. One that I was in a relationship with for almost a year, I'm guessing, who just cut me off when I got really manic and started saying crazy ****. And this other chick that sang to me twice. But I didn't realize I liked her til later. One small bit of the influence that sent me on a manic mood where I started saying and doing crazy **** again. I really gotta stop doing and saying crazy ****. I'm diagnosed with bipolar and manic depression which I guess you technically can't be bipolar with out manic depression and it puts me in dark moods and emotions and feelings and I don't know how to handle my emotions and feelings like a responsible adult so I do and say crazy ****. I should work on that, maybe. One of these days.

Sounds like the best part to me

EDIT: I've read part one now, I'll get around to reading the second one

your avatar is so pretty that it's okay

She probably just thought you were ****ing ugly.