When did the concept of death really, truly, sink in?

Zhanteimi · 06-15-2017, 04:43 AM

Until I was 37, I just walked around an unfeeling psychopath. When I woke up to my new life, I started to understand a lot of things I'd been deaf and blind to before. One of those things was death.

Trollheart · 06-15-2017, 05:10 AM

I honestly think it's impossible to really appreciate what death entails until you lose a parent, or a sibling. I'd seen aunts die before and it was harrowing (especially the first one, to whom I was really close) but when my mother passed away it really sunk in. I think the main thing I suddenly realised was that I was on my own - well, we all were - no more Ma there to talk to, discuss things with, laugh with, cry with, make things better. She passed when I was 28 but I still felt like a little kid when it happened: just so numb and unable to understand and lost and bereft. It's a terrible thing to go through, and then for a while you kind of just think of her (well, I did, as I don't really believe in religion or life after death) alone in the earth and my heart would break. Even when I go up to her grave now, I go for Karen, not me: it does nothing for me to stand beside her grave and talk to her. I can do that any time, any where.

Maybe it's easier for those who do firmly believe. Comments? Experiences?

OccultHawk · 06-15-2017, 10:44 AM

Quote:

. Her older, and extremly beautiful sister was 22 and already had a 6 year old daughter out of wedlock. I became kind of a surrogate dad to her right off the bat and got extremely close to Lin's sister as a result. To say that the sisters were tight would be the understatement of the century.

her teenage daughter, who I swore I'd take care of forever.

in an up close and personal way, was the hardest thing I've ever endured

Respect!

The Batlord · 06-15-2017, 10:55 AM

I was on summer break from school I think, and while I'd been an atheist all my life one day the idea of oblivion really hit me like a brick. I was pretty much inconsolable and constantly freaked out for at least a week. Don't know if I ever quite got over it actually. Dying definitely gives me the willies and I have no intention of doing so.

Chula Vista · 06-15-2017, 11:07 AM

One of the things we talked about a lot was whether it was better, for the people you leave behind, to be hit by a bus or slowly die from a disease.

We never quite settled on an answer.

OccultHawk · 06-15-2017, 11:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chula Vista

One of the things we talked about a lot was whether it was better, for the people you leave behind, to be hit by a bus or slowly die from a disease.

We never quite settled on an answer.

What about suicide? I want to think well he got what he wanted but mostly I felt like **** he's right this **** sucks.

For the deaths I've known murder may have been the most upsetting.

Chula Vista · 06-15-2017, 11:23 AM

It's the difference between sudden BANG unexpected death, and knowing that someone is slowly dying.

We did agree that it was nice to be able to hug loved ones and say goodbye, but that it was a bit selfish, since they had to endure weeks, or months of slow anguish right along side you.

I've been through both on numerous occasions and I still haven't settled on a sensible conclusion.

OccultHawk · 06-15-2017, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chula Vista

It's the difference between sudden BANG unexpected death, and knowing that someone is slowly dying.

We did agree that it was nice to be able to hug loved ones and say goodbye, but that it was a bit selfish, since they had to endure weeks, or months of slow anguish right along side you.

I've been through both on numerous occasions and I still haven't settled on a sensible conclusion.

No the question is suicide vs murder.

Zhanteimi · 06-15-2017, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Batlord

The idea of oblivion really hit me like a brick. I was pretty much inconsolable and constantly freaked out for at least a week. Don't know if I ever quite got over it actually.

"I am the Resurrection and the Life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live."

Of course everyone's body dies, but that's not the end of you. You are more than your body. Your trepidation could be interpreted as evidence of you being more than the physical. And yet, the physical is essential to humanity. Hence the resurrection. We can get new, glorified bodies.

I'm not judging you. I hope all the best for you. This post will get shit on, I know. But I had to put that out there for you, Batlord, because I care about you and your eternal destiny.

Trollheart · 06-15-2017, 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Man like Monkey

Really? I love animals and that, but na.

Bu do you or have you owned a pet? Other than a monkey, of course.

Quote:

Originally Posted by OccultHawk

The word "selfish" hints that you might getting that feeling, too. Acceptance isn't at all the same as being suicidal.

Yeah. That's how people are. If they wouldn't feel it they don't think you should either. I've heard it said that losing a dog hurts some people more than losing a parent. I can't tell them what they're feeling.

No, I just mean I have to consider what my dying would mean to the most important one left behind, who relies on me for, well, life basically.

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Batlord

The pet thing has always been weird for me. When I was a little kid I'd cry pretty hard when a pet died, and my mom is a pet collector so there were plenty of pets to cry over, from cats to goldfish to hamsters to dogs. Then I got older and more jaded about **** in general and for years I wouldn't even get teary eyed when a pet died. Then a couple years ago this cat who'd really bonded with me died and I was just the biggest, dribbliest, sobbiest wreck. I think it's actually been a good thing though, cause even though I've had countless pets die, there's always been a new one. Not that they replace the first pet, but the first pet had its own special, unique place in my life, but even if that place was now empty that didn't mean that pet #2 wouldn't find their own place in my life that would eventually feel like a necessary component to my existence. Life just goes on and brings new things that don't diminish the old things, and with that comes a change to the feeling of life itself.

This is exactly right. You don't just go out and replace your beloved pet, of course, but after a suitable time you should really. You can then lavish all the love you had on your pet who passed away on the new pet. It's always different every time though: you never forget each pet who dies, and one does not, as you say, replace the other in any real meaningful way.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thelonious Monkey

I've had one pet in my life that we had to put to sleep but I was so young at the time I hadn't really bonded with the dog much and didn't feel much empathy. But soon after, we got 2 related dogs and I've pretty much had them since I started remembering most things. I love my dogs, more so one over the other. But there's a major bond and sometimes it keeps me up at night wondering when they might die and how heartbroken I would be. I'd had special real bonding times with them my whole life and my life would just feel weird without them. Sucks because they're getting into that old age now. Those signs are there like infections and episodes and fits. All these problems are not getting much better, although not much worse yet. But it's inevitable, and I dread the day it happens, so I try to comfort them as much as possible and give them the best last days I can give them. This thread is depressing.

Just remember, when the time comes, you can't be selfish. When it's time to let them go, just do it. Don't keep them hanging on in pain or misery.

Bolded: Yeah, who woulda thought it?

Quote:

Originally Posted by OccultHawk

https://mobile.nytimes.com/blogs/wel...eyes/?referer=

What about cats, though?

Quote:

Originally Posted by djchameleon

Yes even Trump. Humans over animals every single time.

But Trump is an animal.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DwnWthVwls

I've understood and accepted death for a long time.. When I was 18, I watched my dad suffer through 6 months of lung cancer before finally dying. I cried for about 3 minutes, and haven't shed a tear or thought much about it since. He talked to me about **** because he knew I understood these things and didn't treat him differently. I remember the day he finally lost his faith in beating it and he told me, "I don't think I'm going to make it threw the summer". I said something along the lines of trying to enjoy the time he had left.

I guess I'm dead inside, but death is a non-factor for the most part. I understand death is a part of life. Yes, it can be sad but life goes on, we all die, it's expected. The real bitch is losing people who aren't dead, that's when I have trouble dealing with loss. When the people you want in your life are still around, but too busy doing their own thing or you've had a falling out.

Sorry but I'm a little offended at that. There's no comparison. Dead is dead; losing touch you always have the chance of a reconciliation or chance meeting.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mord

"I am the Resurrection and the Life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live."

Of course everyone's body dies, but that's not the end of you. You are more than your body. Your trepidation could be interpreted as evidence of you being more than the physical. And yet, the physical is essential to humanity. Hence the resurrection. We can get new, glorified bodies.

I'm not judging you. I hope all the best for you. This post will get shit on, I know. But I had to put that out there for you, Batlord, because I care about you and your eternal destiny.

06-15-2017, 04:43 AM	#1 (permalink)
Zhanteimi Mord Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: Tokyo Posts: 4,873	Until I was 37, I just walked around an unfeeling psychopath. When I woke up to my new life, I started to understand a lot of things I'd been deaf and blind to before. One of those things was death. __________________ Zhanteimi LetsTalkMusic

06-15-2017, 05:10 AM	#2 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,996	I honestly think it's impossible to really appreciate what death entails until you lose a parent, or a sibling. I'd seen aunts die before and it was harrowing (especially the first one, to whom I was really close) but when my mother passed away it really sunk in. I think the main thing I suddenly realised was that I was on my own - well, we all were - no more Ma there to talk to, discuss things with, laugh with, cry with, make things better. She passed when I was 28 but I still felt like a little kid when it happened: just so numb and unable to understand and lost and bereft. It's a terrible thing to go through, and then for a while you kind of just think of her (well, I did, as I don't really believe in religion or life after death) alone in the earth and my heart would break. Even when I go up to her grave now, I go for Karen, not me: it does nothing for me to stand beside her grave and talk to her. I can do that any time, any where. Maybe it's easier for those who do firmly believe. Comments? Experiences? __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

06-15-2017, 11:07 AM	#5 (permalink)
Chula Vista Toasted Poster Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: SoCal by way of Boston Posts: 11,332	One of the things we talked about a lot was whether it was better, for the people you leave behind, to be hit by a bus or slowly die from a disease. We never quite settled on an answer. __________________ “The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”

06-15-2017, 11:23 AM	#7 (permalink)
Chula Vista Toasted Poster Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: SoCal by way of Boston Posts: 11,332	It's the difference between sudden BANG unexpected death, and knowing that someone is slowly dying. We did agree that it was nice to be able to hug loved ones and say goodbye, but that it was a bit selfish, since they had to endure weeks, or months of slow anguish right along side you. I've been through both on numerous occasions and I still haven't settled on a sensible conclusion. __________________ “The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”

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