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Old 10-26-2018, 03:08 PM   #11171 (permalink)
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Chances I'm ever gonna play that Spidey game = chances that I'm ever gonna get 100% in Barbie Horse Adventures.
Your loss.
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Old 10-26-2018, 07:55 PM   #11172 (permalink)
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Played some more of the og Tomb Raider.

God, this is painful.

They should call her Wall ****er, 'cause all she wants to do is slam full force into them while grunting.

It's the kind of game that is laid out in a lot of verticals and horizontals. You know, straight corridors, straight jumps, almost like a big grid. But Lara refuses to move or look straight, and every attempt to adjust her just puts her more off center. You see, there's no fine movement. The smallest movement she can make isn't a tiny inch forward or to the side, but a rather large step. So every time you try to move through a tight hallway (of which there are many) you end up pinballing back and forth across the walls. And every impact, punctuated by an "Unf", brings the game to a dead stop. Dead. Unf. Stop. Unf. UNF. UNF.

Want to get close to the edge of a platform before jumping across a gap? Too bad. You're either stepping right off that ****, or standing way the **** back.

And the jumping. Oh god, the jumping.

Here is the jumping process:

Get close to the platform you want to jump to, but not too close or Lara will just hop right into the abyss below. Press square while running. Fall into the abyss and die, because Lara needs about three steps while running before jumping is enabled (yes, this is an actual thing). Pressing the button before that during movement yields nothing. I guess three is her lucky number, or the jumping mechanic is on its smoke break or something. Try again, but this time from a dead stop, hitting forward at just the right time (or else you just jump in place). Miss the platform because you were too far from the edge. Return, and try to inch closer. Fall into the abyss. Try again. Somehow manage it. Jump. Reach the platform, but die anyway, because you forgot that you have to hold the X button independently from the jump button to grab while jumping. Because... ? I don't know. Try again, remembering to grab this time. Die anyway because the game didn't want to register the grab. Try again. Make it! Finally! Turn to the next platform. The camera gets hung up on the corner behind you, giving you the ****tiest possible view of the next jump. And guess what? You CAN'T CONTROL THE ****ING CAMERAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

... except in a first person view that you can't move in, making it useless for jumps when the camera is hung up, since you're still running blind at the crucial moment.

And there's more.

So much more.

The combat. That's all I have to say. The combat. You devs should be ashamed.

The two types of combat you'll encounter:

1. A bunch of nothing popcorn losers pop out, like wolves and bats, and you just hold down the X button with your guns out until they turn into a fine red mist. That's it. The game auto aims, and you never run out of pistol ammo or even need to reload. Oh, but make sure to let go of X every now and then, 'cause once Lara picks a target, she will aim at it into perpetuity, even if it's already long since dead. She's a lot like Kiiii and memes in that way.

2. A big ****ing bear spawns right behind you and headbutts you in the ass over and over. You try to face it, but the camera gets hung up on ****. The bear is still eating your ass, only now it's laughing. IT'S LAUGHING. You try to do a dodge jump and get away, but bears can hit you while you dodge anyway, making it useless and pointlessly time consuming. IT'S STILL LAUGHING. So you eventually just eat a med kit and hold down X, spinning around like an *******, knowing that some of your bullets are bound to hit home, ignoring the damage you take until it finally dies. And even as it dies, IT'S STILL LAUGHING, BECAUSE WHO IS THE REAL WINNER HERE? NOT YOU, ****ER, YOU'RE THE ONE STILL PLAYING THE CRAPPY GAME, WHILE I'M GETTING LAID IN BEAR POLYGON HEAVEN. HAHAHAHAHAHA

I really don't like this game. I've played much worse, but it's still just such an unfun slog that I'm pretty much calling it quits.

Anniversary rules, this game drools.
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Old 10-26-2018, 08:52 PM   #11173 (permalink)
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Shinobi



Tokyo is being ****ed by a magician with a personal army of resurrected zombie ninja bodyguards, hellbent on turning that **** into his own personal Demon City Shinjuku.

Who ya gonna call?

More ninjas. Because as we all know, only a ninja can kill another ninja.

Enter Hotsuma, a badass ninja, jumping out of an exploding helicopter above the city, on a quest for redemption and honor and all that cool ninja ****.

The gameplay is tight and precise. The action is bloody and satisfying. Everything clicks early on, and only a few spotty sections much later mar the otherwise awesome experience.

Basically, you have to kill everything in sight. And quickly, because your sword is cursed, and if it doesn't get constant fresh blood, it starts to STEAL YOUR ****ING SOUL. HELL YEEEAAAHHHH METAL AS ****

Awesome. Just awesome. But eventually eclipsed by the sequel...


Nightshade / Kunoichi



Unique. As in, nothing else really feels like this game. It's sort of in a genre of its own.

It's a platformer... only you platform using enemies. And I don't mean jumping on their heads like Mario. I mean slicing from one to another over a bottomless pit, using the momentum to create a sort of bridge across while killing everyone in just a few fluid motions.

On her own, Hibana is not very strong. Her base attacks feel sluggish, and even weak enemies take a few hits to kill. If you insist on playing the game like a traditional hack 'n slash romp, you'll be disappointed. You have to learn how to properly cancel out of attacks with dashes, which speeds things up to a blistering degree. And you quickly learn that every time you kill an enemy, your attack power is boosted through the rest of your combo. The more enemies you kill, the stronger you get.

Every group of enemies is a sort of puzzle that you have to solve at lightspeed. Spot the weak link, kill it, use that power to kill the next few bad guys, and end up at the giant badass monster, all while dodging their blasts, and constantly attacking to keep your combo from being broken.

And now, that badass monster that took you fifteen hits to kill earlier? You just killed him in one shot.

In fact, if you know what you're doing, you can one shot every single enemy in the game. Even the bosses. How ****ing cool is that?

But the game isn't easy. Unlike Shinobi, you can't just hack away with impunity. There are armored enemies that will deflect normal attacks. Only kicks or special attacks can shatter their armor, leaving them exposed (or killing them outright).

When you jump into the air, you're given one extra jump and a dash before you fall back to the ground. Every time you kill an enemy, your dash and extra jump are replenished. Therefore, given an infinite amount of enemies, you can technically stay in the air forever, just flying around in a perpetual storm of death. You can also use your kick to home in on distant enemies, giving you that little extra boost you need to reach them.

You have to think fast. Often, you're fighting enemies over large bottomless pits, where one mistake sends you careening into instant death. If you hit an armored enemy with a normal attack, you die. If you take a hit and don't get your bearings in time, you die. If you just rush in and don't plan things out, you die.

But it is so much fun.

Also, big props for them mapping the kick attack to a single button tap (triangle). In Shinobi, the kick is performed with the same button as regular slashes, only while locking on to an enemy and holding the control stick towards Hotsuma's back, which is suuuuper awkward, and results in many accidental kicks.

Nightshade is not for everyone. It's weird. It's flawed. But what it does well, it does better than any other game.
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Old 10-26-2018, 09:59 PM   #11174 (permalink)
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All of my friends are j*zzing over 'Red Dead Redemption 2.' Can anyone chime in on if that is a good game?
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Old 10-27-2018, 01:33 AM   #11175 (permalink)
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Sports games? You're getting into some dark ****, man.
My curiosity is what's led to me having the preferences in games that I do. I've always played absolutely everything I could get my hands on. All genres. I just think it's interesting to try and see what it's all about.

Of all the types of sports games I've played over the years, tennis games are the only type that I really like. And even then, that sub genre really only has a few solid titles. Basically all of the Virtua Tennis and Top Spin series. That's where the worthwhile tennis games are.
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Old 10-27-2018, 02:24 AM   #11176 (permalink)
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All of my friends are j*zzing over 'Red Dead Redemption 2.' Can anyone chime in on if that is a good game?
It's good. I wish it was on PC now. **** you rockstar
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Old 10-27-2018, 05:31 AM   #11177 (permalink)
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My curiosity is what's led to me having the preferences in games that I do. I've always played absolutely everything I could get my hands on. All genres. I just think it's interesting to try and see what it's all about.

Of all the types of sports games I've played over the years, tennis games are the only type that I really like. And even then, that sub genre really only has a few solid titles. Basically all of the Virtua Tennis and Top Spin series. That's where the worthwhile tennis games are.
When it comes to sports games, SSX >
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Old 10-27-2018, 07:22 AM   #11178 (permalink)
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When it comes to sports games, SSX >
I did play SSX3 a lot years back.
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Old 10-27-2018, 04:34 PM   #11179 (permalink)
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SSX3 was the one with the huge mountain course you could go down that took like 25m right? That was probably the pinnacle of the series for me.

It was nice to just relax and shred a bit.
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Old 10-28-2018, 06:13 PM   #11180 (permalink)
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Just finished the main story for Spider Man. This is my game of the year. I don't think I've had this much fun playing a game until I played this. I still have to 100% it with collectibles etc but god damn that story was ****ing incredible. Really really well done.
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