Rimmer and Kryten end up in another parallel Earth, this time one where time goes backwards, and earn themselves something of a reputation as The Sensational Reverse Brothers, before their promising career is cut short. Marooned on an ice planet with Lister, Rimmer tells his compatriot that he once used hypno-therapy to have himself regressed to a past life, and discovered that he was once Alexander the Great's chief eunuch! During the time they spend together as they wait for a seemingly hopeless rescue, it comes to light that Rimmer has in his camphorwood chest over £24,000 in notes, priceless (as they are now the only copies left) books, and a collection of hand-carved Napoleonic miniatures. The money, books and soldiers all go to feed the fire which is keeping Lister alive, and Rimmer is less than happy when he discovers that, far from burning, as he thought, his guitar, Lister has in fact cut out the shape of the guitar from Rimmer's chest and burned that!

When they discover how easy it is to switch personalities, Rimmer badgers Lister into allowing him to occupy his body for two weeks, with the intention of getting it fit again. However, not having had a solid body for 3,000,002 years, Rimmer snaps and when Lister regains control of his own body Rimmer steals it back, taking Starbug and almost killing Lister's body in the process!

When Lister reorganises the timelines so that he never joins Red Dwarf but instead invents the Tension Sheet and becomes mega-rich, Rimmer, left facing the prospect of life alone with Holly, tries to sort it so that he and not Lister invents the Tension Sheet, but he only succeeds in putting things back the way they were originally.

Sentenced by the Justice Computer to a total servitude of 9,328 years for his believed culpability for the deaths of all aboard Red Dwarf, Rimmer is saved from this fate by Kryten, who presents a case that proves beyond all doubt that there is no way in hell anyone with an ounce of sense would put Rimmer in charge of anything important, much less the safety of the ship.

Some time later, Rimmer meets his double from yet another dimension, this being the universally-liked, brave and courageous Ace Rimmer. Arnold hates him on sight, as he is a reminder to him of what he could have achieved. It turns out that the only difference between the two is that Ace was held back a year in school, and this made him buckle down and determine to do well. Rimmer finally realises his destiny (or so he thinks), when transporting to a world where wax-droids fight a war against one another; he takes over the leadership of those deemed "the forces of good", and leads them into battle. Unfortunately, he manages to wipe out not only the bad ones but his own small army as well. Little wonder, with strategies like "We attack tomorrow, under cover of daylight!"

But when they encounter a holoship, crewed by top-flight holograms, Arnie is in his element! He petitions the captain to let him join, but has to battle another crew member for that privilege. He uses a mind patch--- downloading the minds of the most brilliant scientists that were in the crew ---, but this goes wrong and he declares that he will withdraw from the contest, defeated. His opponent, however, is Nirvana Crane, with whom he has fallen in love, and she withdraws herself to let him win. When he discovers what has happened though, Rimmer uncharacteristically gives it all up to allow Crane be reinstated --- and no-one more surprised than himself!

Left alone on a psi-moon, a sateliite which reconfigures its terrain to the mindset of anyone who lands on it, while Kryten is incapacitated, Rimmer is taken before the Unspeakable One, which is a manifestation of his own self-loathing. The entire planetoid has reconfigured itself to mirror his own personality, and has created such things as The Swamp of Despair and The Chasm of Hopelessness. Rimmer is rescued by his mates who pretend they like him, in order to get off the moon.

He contracts a holovirus and goes completely mad, imprisoning his friends in quarantine and turning off their oxygen. In his holovirus-enhanced state, Arnie is capable of telekinesis and hex-vision, a powerful form of psi weapon. He is eventually defeated (along with his friend, the glove puppet Mister Flibble!) just before the virus would have taken his life. When they meet Legion, the ancient creation of some of the most brilliant minds in history, Rimmer is given a hardlight body, this being a hologrammatic form that can touch and be touched, allows him to eat, taste, feel but makes him almost impervious to harm.

Despite this, Kryten runs a routine check on him and finds that he is suffering from a hologrammatic version of nervous disorder. He is instructed to take things very easy, but this is not helped when he is catapulted into a wormhole and emerges on an uninhabited planet, light years from anywhere. Having successfully created a clone of himself, Rimmer is soon overrun by more clones, all of whom are using his basic cowardice, snideness, sarcasm and treachery as the template for what they consider normal behaviour. Rimmerworld is born, and the original Rimmer left to rot in a cell until his friends come to find him, 557 years later!

Rimmer does however in the end reveal that there is a spark of decency and courage in him when, when faced with the prospect of fighting their future selves in a battle for Starbug, and hopelessly outclassed by the latter, he declares that they should fight. As he says: "Better dead than smeg!"

When the charismatic Ace Rimmer comes on board Starbug, Arnie is concerned: "We're down to our last three thousand vomit bags!" he declares, shaking his head. "It'll never be enough!" Ace, it transpires though, is dying. In point of fact he is a hardlight hologram, and not the original Ace which the crew met in "Dimension Jump": the story will be further related in the profile on Ace. He wishes Arnie to take over as guardian of the universe, a position at which Rimmer scoffs, but eventually, goaded to it by Lister, he accepts and with the help of his old friend settles into the role.

Eventually, Ace having died and Lister having convinced the crew that what stands before them is not the sad shell of a man that they used to know as their crewmate (or, as the Unspeakable One put it, "That walking vomit-stain that the world knows as Arnold Rimmer"), but the dashing, brave and handsome Ace, Rimmer, having sat through his eulogy and watched his funeral, bids the boys farewell and leaves to take up his new post.

This episode, "Stoke me a clipper", shows for the first time a glimmer of the man Rimmer could have been, and the traits we saw embodied in Ace, as he stares out at all the thousands (millions?) of previous Rimmers who have held the post of Ace Rimmer, and declares "All those Rimmers!" Lister looks at them, and says "They all did it. They all passed on the flame. Are you going to be the one who breaks the chain?" And we finally see the humanity, the compassion and the belief in Arnold Rimmer that he can finally make a difference, be appreciated in the world. Somehow, it looks like the man we knew will be nothing like we remembered when he returns!

Again, the scene in which Arnold Rimmer is remembered, spoken of and posthumously promoted to First Officer by Lister, and then taken to his final resting place with all the other Rimmers, is enough to bring a tear to the most jaded eye. The scene is, typically, lightened by the presence of Rachel, the inflatable sex-doll, whom Lister solemnly refers to as Rimmer's widow (and yes, she is dressed in black)! And that is the last we see of Rimmer, but for his finest hour to date, when in a dream he returns to Lister, seeming to have lightened up, learned to have fun, and even kisses Lister!

Worried by the suddenly good memories he is having of his old bunkmate, Lister seesks Kryten's help, and the mechanoid constructs The Rimmer Experience, which depicts Rimmer as he believed he was: a leader, a hardened space adventurer to whom the others looked to in times of crisis, and who always knew what to do no matter the situation. Rimmer sings The Rimmer Song, below, showing exactly what type of man Arnold Judas Rimmer believed he was, no matter how others saw him. We can only look forward to his return in season eight!

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Putting paid once and for all to the image of Rik Mayall as an anarchic, somewhat silly comic actor gained through such series as "The Young Ones", "Bottom" and to a lesser extent its prequel "Filthy, Rich and Catflap", "The New Statesman" stars the comedian in an almost serious role, though there is a lot of humour in the series. Mayall is Alan Beresford B'Stard, MP, a Conservative politician and representative of the constituency of Haltemprice. B'Stard, however, is no more interested in serving the people who elected him than he is in animal rights or the poor. He is a dyed-in-the-wool Tory, a caricature of all that is worst in politics, particularly on the right-wing side, and he spends his time scheming to make even more money, despite being immensely rich already. As he points out to his hapless sidekick on the event of the latter having lost him a big investment opportunity and cost him millions: "No, I don't need it (the money), Piers! But I WANT it! Because I'm very very greedy!"

This statement encompasses B'Stard to a "t". He is certainly not above blackmailing his rivals --- or even those in his own party --- if he can get away with it, and he's always ready to cash in on any scheme that comes his way. He knows actually little about the law, but gets by on his dashing good looks and his sweeping contempt for just about everyone. He is generally loathed by his colleagues, right up to the Prime Minister, though fawned over and treated with affection and respect by his junior, Piers Fletcher-Dervish, despite the fact that B'Stard gives the young man a terrible time.

His Machievellan schemes are a joy to watch unfold --- and often, come crashing down in flames, but even when you know he's being totally self-serving and using everyone around him to achieve his ends, you can't help but feel a sneaking admiration for the man. Mayall plays the role perfectly, and it's a far cry from "Rick" in the "Young Ones" or "Ritchie" in "Bottom". This is serious stuff! Seriously funny, that is.

The series was created by Lawrence Marks and Maurice Gran at Mayall's request, and ran for four seasons, with two special episodes. Being a British series each season only had six episodes, so I'll be reviewing each in depth as we go along. The New Stateman won the BAFTA (British Academy of Film and Television Arts, the UK equivalent of the Emmys) in 1991 for Best Comedy Series and was a massive hit, probably originally off the back of Rik Mayall's comedy series prior but also surely due to the popularity of another, more gentle satire on British politics, "Yes minister" and its spinoff "Yes Prime Minister", the latter now resurrected for the twenty-first century. People have always wanted to see politicians slagged off, made fun of, exposed for the duplicitous, backstabbing, double-dealing reprobates they mostly are, and between them Mayall, Gran and Marks pull no punches in this biting satire.

CAST
The Rt. Hon. Alan Beresford B'Stard, MP, played by Rik Mayall. Having only attained his seat by the good graces of his father-in-law, who is chairman of the local Tory party, B'Stard milks the role for all it's worth. He hardly ever visits his constituency, except when it's derby week, and is less interested in the welfare of those poorer than him than he is in left-wing policies. He is however ambitious and wishes to rise through the ranks, by whatever means, fair or foul, he can employ. He's the knife in the dark, the whisper in the ear, the pusher down the stairs, and no-one can trust him.

Piers Fletcher-Dervish, played by Michael Troughton. Well-meaning, naive and impressionable, Piers is the perfect foil to Alan, and the ultimate patsy. When B'Stard wants something done he usually forces, cajoles, tricks or otherwise inveigles Piers into doing it. At heart Piers believes in his country, his party and the innate goodness of all people. Over time, his association with B'Stard changes that.

Sarah B'Stard, played by Marsha Fitzalan (hmmm...) is B'Stard's trophy wife. The two don't love one another, in fact they hate each other. Alan sees her as a credit-card-using shopaholic who taunts what he sees as his sexual prowess by sleeping with everyone --- and everything --- she can. He only stays with her because her father is the chairman of the local Tory party, as mentioned, and if he were to divorce Sir Roland's precious daughter he is likely to be thrown out of the party, and out of his lucrative and important position.

Sir Greville McDonald, played by Terence Alexander. A cabinet minister almost as corrupt as B'Stard himself, though more circumspect in his dirty dealings than the younger MP, Sir Greville and B'Stard cross swords many times, sometimes as adversaries, occasionally as allies.

Sie Stephen Baxter, played by John Nettleton. One of the old guard, Sir Stephen is an elderly MP who remembers how things used to be, and continually frowns at B'Stard's plans and shenanigans. He doesn't feature too heavily in the series, more as a sort of counterweight of morality and decency to B'Stard's rampant corruption and villainy.

Norman/Norma Boorman, played by Rowena Cooper. Although only featuring in the first season, Norman is Alan's accountant, and begins a transition towards a sex-change so that halfway through the season he has become she, Norman is now Norma, and even with a new gender she is still a pawn in B'Stard's political games.

Bob Crippen, played by Nick Stringer. B'Stard's nemesis on the opposition back benches, Bob Crippen is an honest, straight-talking Labour man, who hates B'Stard and all he stands for. They have many confrontations, most of which the Tory MP triumphs in.

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1.1 "Thou shalt not kill"

The Grid is the official name for the operations centre in Thames House, the headquarters of MI5, the British Secret Service. It is here that Sir Harry Pearce directs and observes his highly-trained team of spies, or "spooks", as they go from day to day foiling terrorist plots, stopping bombs going off and generally practicing what is colloquially known in Britain as "defence of the realm". We see from the start that this is not a job for everyone. As a spook, you can let no-one in, be close to no-one, have no relationship with anyone. The other half of your relationship must know you as a completely different person --- different name, different job, different history. Every agent of MI5 is in a highly sensitive position and were their true identities to be known, not only would they and their loved ones be at risk, but the organisation woudl be compromised, and thus the nation's security.

So agents live double lives, like the superheroes in comics but without the tights or the superpowers. We see this first in the case of Tom, who is living with a woman and her daughter, who both know him as Matthew (rather interesting choice of name, as Tom is played by Matthew McFayden!) and think he works as an IT support specialist.

A bomb explodes outside a house in Liverpool, and word soon comes to MI5 that it's one of twenty (twenty!) that have been smuggled from Ireland to the UK, destination and use unknown. A major terrorist offensive looks to be underway. Tom visits the hospital where one of the victims, a Doctor Helen Lynott has died, while her daughter Sarah lies in critical condition. He speaks to Mike Lynott, also a doctor, and learns that the two ran a family planning clinic. This begins to look like the work of an anti-abortionist movement. Doctor Lynott confirms that he and his wife had been receiving hate mail for a few weeks, but he had hidden the letters, not wanting to upset her.

While Harry and his team try to work out who would have the connections and the financial resources to pull off smuggling twenty bombs into the country, the scene switches and we see a kindly old motherly figure baking cakes in her country house. Somewhat surprisingly, it turns out she is the mastermind behind the bombs, and she talks to the others in her group, who have already pulled off the first killing and plan more. Some of them --- the younger woman, Rachel, in particular --- seems more than a little reluctant, but the older woman, who is American and whose name is Mary Kane, convinces her with smiles and soundbites, and the plan will continue. What's really scary about this scene is that there are kids playing in Mary Kane's house, and she dotes on them; she doesn't seem like a monster at all. But then, as someone once said, it's easy to spot the devil when he's wearing horns and a tail...

Meanwhile Mary Kane's name has come up as the agents watch a broadcast of US news declaring that she has been convicted in absentia for bombing a family planning clinic in Florida, and that her husband is to die in the electric chair for shooting a doctor. That's to happen in a few days, and the agents have worked out that she's planning to use the occasion to mark her husband's passing by detonating one or more of the bombs. In the meantime it's come to light that their original intelligence was somewhat faulty: there are only (!) four pipebombs, the rest is in Semtex. This is not good.

MI5 send a team to the cottage to which Mary Kane has been tracked, to bug the place and listen in on her plans. They find that she is having an affair with one of the men in her cell, a guy called Steven. But the CIA find out about their operation and, given that Kane is wanted in the US, demand that the Brits turn her over to them for extradition. Tom is not pleased, telling Harry that she is their only link to finding out where the rest of the explosives are, and where they are intended to be used. They decide to step up their operation; they can't refuse the order, which comes from the Home Office (have to keep our American cousins happy!) but they can continue their efforts while the paperwork is drawn up and authorised. Maybe they can get the task finished before they have to hand the woman over.

Posing as a woman who is pro-life, Zoe meets Rachel, the younger woman who was at Mary Kane's cottage, the one who seemed not so sure that what they were doing was right, seemed not totally committed to the cause. She uses a ruse to get her to take to the hospital where Sarah, the critically injured daughter of Dr. Lynott is, and she and Tom try to show her what going along with Kane's campaign of terror really looks like. "It's shocking, isn't it?" Tom asks her. "Close up." She leaves, her crying son in tow, and panics, calling her husband on the phone and giving MI5 (who have of course installed a listening device in it) a name, Sullivan. Checking on any doctors named Sullivan they come up with only one practicing one and send a team over to protect her.

Harry delays the extradition papers all he can, but the CIA are getting impatient and send one of their operatives, Christine Dale, to see Tom to warn him not to stand in their way. Saturday is the "big day" for Paul Kane, and as she says, it will be a bonus for America if his wife is there right beside him when he fries. This "request" is then given added impact when the Foreign Office send a representative to advise that if the US are not allowed have their way they will block a substantial and lucrative licencing order needed by a big UK pharmaceutical company. As ever, money talks. Meanwhile the sad news comes through that Sarah Lynott has passed away.

Desperate to catch Kane despite the Foreign Office directive, and the fact that the extradition papers have now been reluctantly signed by Harry (he's done all he can to delay but has run out of options) Tom decides to have Zoe pose as Dr. Sullivan, who has been moved to a safe location, in order to try to draw the terrorist out. It's Zoe's first major operation and she's understandably nervous, though she tries not to show it. They know Kane has Sullivan's daily schedule and so they keep to it, hoping she'll track Zoe. As Zoe enters the foodmarket, Kane's car pulls out in front of her and they have contact! They follow her into the car park, noting and worried that she possesses a holdall and a mobile. It's pretty obvious what's in the bag and so they're unable to accost her in case she sets the thing off. They wait until she leaves the bag in the shopping centre and exits, then as she tries to activate the bomb they jam the phone's signal, and pick her up.

Tom interrogates her, trying to find out where the rest of the bombs are. She won't crack until he tells her that he has a tape of her making love to Steven, and that if she doesn't cooperate he'll make sure this act of infidelity is the last thing her husband hears before he dies. He also promises that if she plays ball he will make sure she's extradited not to Florida, but to some state without the death penalty. Seeing she has no choice and at the end fearful of dying despite her bravado and her willingness to kill, she folds and they are able to pick up the rest of the bombers.

They're driving her to her plane when they stop, get out of the car leaving her in it and two CIA people, one of which is Christine Dale, get in. Christine drops a brochure in her lap which shows the state of Florida, and asks her without humour if she is ready for Disneyworld? Kane knows she has been lied to and betrayed, but is powerless to do anything about it. She will die just like her husband, although the fact that she has been discovered to be pregnant may have some bearing on this sentence.

Spooks is not really the sort of show that provides great quotes, but some of the things said in the episodes are certainly noteworthy. These I'll be dividing and featuring in different relevant sections.

Before I get into that though, for those who wonder if MI5 are all about counter-terrorism, the following quote from the opening scene may set you straight:

"MI5’s major focus right now is counter-terrorism, but our brief also includes serious crime, illegal arms and immigration, and the drugs trade."

The "Need to know"
Working as they do for the Secret Service, it is frequently necessary for the agents to prevent panic or even rumour by disseminating a false story to cover something much worse, were the truth to be known. When these happen in the episodes I'll feature them here, under this heading.

The story released to the press about the first bomb, the one that killed Doctor Karen Lynott and injured (and eventually took the life of) her daughter, is this, as ordered by Tom:

"Army bomb disposal teams have confirmed this was a previously unexploded World War II bomb. Repeat, this was not a terrorist incident. Make sure that’s the only message getting out. I want it across the board. World War 2."

Harry's World

As head of MI5 Sir Harry Pearce has seen more than most, and has a certain worldview that is often honest and refreshing, blunt and to the point, and occasionally shocking. I'll be recording any examples of Harry's wisdom here.

Zoe talks about pro-life groups "So far they’ve just never been a threat."
Harry replies, in typical deadpan mode: "Something we’ve learned in the last twelve months. Nothing ever is. Until it is."

Harry is wistful for the old days, when you knew who the bad guy was: "I signed up here because I knew who the enemy was and I wanted to fight them. These days they don’t even have a flag. I preferred it when the bad guys had a flag. Gave them something to put on the coffin."


The mind of a terrorist
A little catch-all, yes, as not every criminal MI5 deal with will be necessarily classifed as terrorists (though many will), but when they do, it's interesting to note the skewed mentality, morality and worldview these people espouse:

Mary Kane: "I was terrified. At the beginning. But then I met my husband. And Paul sat me down and asked me to imagine something. Imagine a man with a gun. You’d be scared. So would I. But what if you saw him walk into a playground and point that gun at a child, how scared would you be then? And if you saw him pull the trigger, shoot one child, then another? Would you still be scared? Or would you stop thinking about yourself and just try with every fibre of your being to stop him before he killed the whole school? Of course you would. I know your fear, Rachel. But always remember who we’re fighting for. And who we’re trying to stop."

Big Brother is watching!
It's amazing how at times almost every person onscreen in Spooks can turn out to be an agent, keeping tabs on a target. Here are a few examples from this episode:

ALPHA is a Pakistani man in a suit.
BRAVO is a builder in a top that says “Lets Get Plastered”.
CHARLIE is a middle-aged woman with a shopping bag.

As she gets closer and closer to Mary...a variety of customers, workers, pensioners, daytrippers--all sound off quietly... everyone in this place is a spook.

Rivalries
The biggest rivalry in Spooks is between the people of MI5 (or "Five") which is the domestic, internal branch of the secret service and MI6 ("Six"), who handle foreign inteligence policy, but the representatives of the government often get short shrift too, seen as interfering, bureaucratic, self-serving toadies and puppets of the Americans. Which they are. An example, when Toby McInnes from the Foreign Office comes on to "The Grid":

Helen: "Creature of the night, two o’clock.
Danny: "Foreign Office. Get out the garlic."
The F.O man is even depicted as repugnant, an almost headmaster bearing, as he looks down his nose at the spooks and hardly even deigns to talk to anyone but Harry. He also pointedly runs his finger along surfaces, examining the dust on his finger, like a sergeant major at inspection time. He makes no secret of the fact that he considers these people beneath him and expects them to obey him without question. He tells them "They’re ("they" being the Americans) the big boy in the playground and right now if they asked to roger us over a barrel we’d thank them kindly and make them tea afterwards." He also refers to the Home Secretary as "His Imperial Highness", obviously seeing himself as one of the (more important) courtiers.

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Season One: "Signs and portents" (Part five)
1.11 "By any means necessary"

Ah yes. JMS meets Alan Bleasdale! Looking at the big wide universe from the view of the little guy, a theme he would return to in season five, this episode focusses mainly on a strike by the docking workers at Babylon 5, the man sent to break the strike and Sinclair's uncomfortable position in the middle. He wants his station back in business, but he knows also that he has to work with these people when the hotshots have gone back to Earth. Equally, he knows he can't rock the boat too much back home and so must try to find a compromise that suits, or at least appeases, everyone.

As the workload mounts at Babylon 5, there is an accident at one of the docking bays and one of the workers is killed. In addition, a priceless plant being shipped to Ambassador G'Kar is lost when the ship carrying it is involved in the accident. Tensions rise, and when the news that the promised increase in the budget is not now going to materialise, the labourers at the dock ballot for strike action. It's all looking very precarious and quite dangerous, with riots looking likely to break out. The shop steward, a young woman called Neeoma Connally, keeps the hotheads under control for now, but it's not a situation that can be allowed to escalate.

Meanwhile, G'Kar is distraught at the loss of his plant, called a "G'Quon Eth", which he needs in order to celebrate the Holy Days of G'Quon, his religious icon, and has Na'Toth make enquiries to see if anyone on the station has one for sale, at any price. Sadly for him, the only one who does is Londo, who refuses of course to sell it to him. Eventually, after playing with his old adversary a little, (and after G'Kar breaks into Londo's quarters in search of the plant) he relents, but the price he asks is astronomical. Although furious, after thinking about it for some time, and given that his time to celebrate the Holy Days is running out, G'Kar agrees to pay the price, whereupon Londo tells him he has changed his mind: the plant is no longer for sale.

Although dock workers on Babylon 5 are expressly forbidden in their contracts from striking, more and more of them are calling in sick, and Garibaldi realises they now have a case of "Blue Flu" on their hands: no-one is really sick, but it's a way around an all-out strike, though it may as well be one. Sinclair asks to speak to Connally, and tells her he can give her no guarantees, but he worries that if the dockers don't go back to work the Senate could invoke the Rush Act, a sort of martial law wherein troopers are used to force the workers to bend to the will of Earthgov. Such a situation would get very messy, and Connally does not believe the Senate has the guts to take such a radical step. Sinclair however reminds her that things are not as they used to be, and Babylon 5 does not have all the friends it used to in the early days.

Indeed, in the end Earth forces the issue by sending their "top labour negotiator", one Orin Zento, to Babylon 5 to take control of the situation. His meeting with Connally, and later the workers, is nothing less than the throwing down of an ultimatum: go back to work while you still can. When the workers call off the pretence of being sick and go for an all-out strike, he is furious and determined to invoke the Rush Act, despite Sinclair's counsel that this can only lead to bloodshed. He is a one-dimensional man, used to getting his way and trampling over workers' rights, and it seems he only ever came here with one thing in mind: the Rush Act.

G'Kar asks Sinclair to intervene in his dispute with Londo, explaining to the commander that as the highest-ranking member of his faith on the station and the ambassador of his people, it is G'Kar's responsibility to provide the G'Quan Eth plant for his followers to all observe the ritual, which must be performed when their sun rises over the G'Quon Mountain, back on his homeworld. Londo however will not be convinced, and the intervention by Sinclair is useless. He has his own problems anyhow, as Senator Hidoshi calls from Earth to advise that a majority of the Senate have voted to give Zento the authority to invoke the Rush Act. The senator agrees that only violence and ill-feeling can result from such a course, and sadly reflects that this is most likely the aim of many in the government: to provoke a reaction that will damage the president's standing and lead to calls for the station to be shut down.

Sinclair calls for the entire text of the Rush Act, studying it for a loophole he can use, as it's now obvious that he has to obey a direct order from the Senate. Luckily he finds one, so that when Zento invokes the Act he's able to use it, as the terms state he can break the strike "by any means necessary", and the means he chooses are to allocate funds from Babylon 5's own budget to upgrade docking equipment and hire more workers. He also declares an amnesty for anyone involved in the strike, which though it infuriates Zento allows the men to go back to work with honour still intact.

There's still the matter of G'Kar's plant to be dealt with. After telling Londo that the G'Quon Eth plant is a restricted substance and taking possession of it on that basis, he hands it over to the Narn, but G'Kar is angry, as he says the time for the ritual is past. However Sinclair points out that the light that touched the holy mountain ten years ago is only now due to arrive at the station, and surely that will be sufficient for G'Kar to perform his ceremony. Impressed by the commander's logic, and somewhat mollified, G'Kar agrees this will work.

Back in his quarters, there's a message for Sinclair from Senator Hidoshi, which warns him that, though the senator himself approves of the way the commander handled the crisis, the Senate does not, and he has made himself some new enemies. He warns Sinclair to watch his back.

Important Plot Arc Points
The spiritual side of G'Kar
Arc Level: Red
We saw this first come out in "The parliament of dreams", when at the end the Narn waxes philosophical about the place of the younger races in the galaxy at large. When we first meet him, in the pilot, G'Kar is portrayed as a bully, a petty, scheming man whose only real aims in life are to further the position of his people and if possible destroy the Centauri. Here, we see a different side to him. He is a religious man, a man devoted to his --- well not quite god: I don't think the Narns worship gods in the same way the Centauri do, but they more seem to devote themselves to the teachings of religious figures, perhaps more like buddhists. He believes fiercely in what is right, and he takes his position as both spiritual and diplomatic leader of his people very seriously indeed. This side of him will begin to develop over the next few seasons, and you will be surprised, even amazed at where it will take him, and the change it will engender in him.

"Trouble at home"
Arc Level: Red
It's been intimated before: things are changing back on Earth. In the previous episode we saw an actual attempt on the life of the president (and it won't be the only one) and we've seen the emergence of the radical Earth group Homeguard. When Neeoma Connally doubts the Senate would go so far as to invoke the Rush Act, Sinclair tells her not to be so sure: things are changing on Earth. Now Hidoshi confirms this, warning Sinclair that the balance of power is shifting, and people are jockeying for position. There are big changes coming, and they will not be for the better. Babylon 5 will find itself standing on one side of a drawn line, with its enemies --- who will be many --- on the other side.

QUOTES
In the wake of the accident with the Narn ship, everyone tries to blame everyone else:
Connally: "Don't try to blame my people for this! We've said all along that the dockside equipment isn't up to handling the amount of traffic we get."
Sinclair: "The computer malfunction might have been caused by operator error."
Connally: "Even if that were true, what do you expect? My people have been forced to work triple shifts because we are understaffed in every area!"
Sinclair: "Ms Connally, we're not here to assign blame..."
G'Kar: "Maybe you are not, Commander, but my government will want to know who was responsible for damaging our ship."
Ivanova: "Then I suggest you start with its captain, who panicked and fired up his engines inside the docking bay against my direct orders!"
G'Kar: "Now don't try to blame this on us, Lieutentant Commander! We are the victims here!"
Connally: "You lost some cargo, Ambassador. Alberto del Vientos lost his life!"

Londo, in mock sympathy for the loss of the G'Quan Eth plant to G'Kar:
"If there is anything I can do to be of assistance, you will let me know, yes?"
G'Kar: "No."

When he is told who the one person on the station is who has a G'Quon Eth plant, G'Kar sighs "Why does the universe hate me?"

When Garibaldi goes to see Connally to take her to see Sinclair, and asks her why she hasn't reported as requested:
"I've been tied up. I got a lot of sick workers here," Connally replies.
When the workers start to pretend to cough, Garibaldi is annoyed. "You think this is funny, huh Well, I don't."
"We're as serious as a rip in a spacesuit," replies Connally, "and we want the Senate and Commander Sinclair to know it."
"By staging an illegal strike?" asks Garibaldi. "I thought you were smarter than that."
"Sinclair and Ivanova are career military," replies Connally. "I don't expect them to understand. But I figure you for blue collar under all that Earthforce grey."
(Indeed, as it turns out, Garibaldi's grandmother was a cop in Boston back on Earth, and so he knows of the "blue flu". He sympathises with the workers, but is worried what escalation will lead to, and he has after all a job to do, like it or not).

Connally to Sinclair: "Don't tell me about consequences! My father was shot dead during the '37 mining strikes on Ganymede. I have spent my entire life defending workers' rights," she tells Sinclair, "and I'm not about to stop now. You get us decent pay and equipment and hire enough workers to do the job safely, then we return to work."

Londo and G'Kar bargain for the plant:
Londo: "Care for a drink? Oh, I forgot! The Days of G'Quon forbid it. But they come to a close very soon, do they not?"
G'Kar: "You know why I am here."
Londo: "The G'Quan Eth plant, yes? Difficult to grow, expensive to transport, very expensive to own, but so very important to you at this festive time."
G'Kar: "I understand you are in possession of a G'Quon Eth plant. If this is so, I am here to purchase it."
Londo: "Ever since we left your beautiful planet G'Quon Eth plants have been hard to find. Mine, which is being cared for in a safe place, I have been saving for a special occasion. When you drop the seeds into a proper mixture of alcohol --- boom! Whole new universes open up! It's a shame you Narns waste them, burning them as incense."
G'Kar: "Name your price!"
Londo: "You are asking for quite a sacrifice from me, but in the interests of interstellar peace and friendship, ummm, fifty thousand commercial credits, in cash, in advance."
G'Kar: "That's an outrage!"
Londo: "Of course it's an outrage! The question is, how important is your religious ceremony to you?"
G'Kar leaves in a rage, but is soon back. He tells Londo "I have the money. Fifty thousand credits, in cash. Where is the G'Quon Eth?" But Londo, smirking, replies
"Actually G'Kar, I have changed my mind. The G'Quon Eth plant is no longer for sale. I have also changed my lock code, so don't bother visiting me. Consider this a small - a very tiny - portion of revenge for what you did to our colony on Ragesh 3, and to my nephew. Did you think that I had forgotten that?" (see "Midnight on the firing line")
Leading to G'Kar's outburst: "I'll kill him with my bare hands.... Sinclair can only kick me off the station. He might even thank me!"

When Sinclair asks Londo to compromise over the plant, this is Londo's response: "You know I would do anything for you, my good friend, Commander Sinclair - but not this.... This isn't about money, Commander, or spiritual beliefs. G'Kar is only worried about losing face. The Narns ---- bah! They're a barbaric people. They're all pagans, still worshipping their sun. No, I would rather burn the plant than give it to him."

It's clear from this that Londo neither knows nor cares for G'Kar's beliefs, and how he observes them. The Narn do NOT worship their sun: it is the rays of the sun glancing off the tip of their holy mountain that inspires them to prayer, much in the same way that muslims face towards Mecca when they pray. The sun plays a part in their worship, certainly, but it's merely a facet of their religion, not their god. In fact, as mentioned the Narn do not worhsip gods, but rather revered religious figures from their history. It's rather ironic that Londo doesn't see his own people, who DO still worship gods --- a whole pantheon of them, if only through lipservice --- as barbaric. In terms of religion, the Narn are probably closer to the Minbari than the Centauri are.

Connally to Zento, right before the decision to invoke the Rush Act:
Zento: "Every other guild on the station has signed our agreement. They understand that our government is not a bottomless pool of money!"
Connally: "I don't care if they've agreed to wear bunny suits and sing the Hallelujah chorus! We're not putting up with this kind of treatment from Earth Central any longer!"

Sinclair's solution to the strike:
"Under the Rush Act," begins Sinclair, "the Senate has empowered me to end this strike. I'm authorized to use any means necessary. Correct Mr Zento?"
Zento: "Yes, any means necessary."
Sinclair:" Am I assured of your full support on this?"
Zento: "Absolutely."
Sinclair: "Then under that authority I choose the following means to end this strike. One, I am reallocating 1.3 million credits from Babylon 5's military budget in order to begin necessary upgrades of docking equipment and to start hiring additional workers. Two, I am declaring a complete amnesty for any striking worker or guild representative who have committed no other crime during this period."
Zento: "You can't do this!"
Sinclair: "You're right, I couldn't, until you convinced the Senate to invoke the Rush Act. You should never hand someone a gun unless you're sure where they'll point it. Your mistake."

Zento: "You know damn well you twisted the intent of that order, and you won't get away with it."
Sinclair: "I think Ms. Connally said it best the other day - 'stuff it!'"

Sinclair explains to Londo how he can still carry out his ceremony: "This ritual is supposed to be performed in the sunlight that has touched the G'Quan Mountain at a particular time on a particular day, right? But as your people went into space it wasn't always possible to be at the foot of that mountain and pray in that sunlight. But what you forgot to take into account is that sunlight also travels through space. Think about it: this station is 12.2 light years from Narn, that's just a little over ten of your light years. The sunlight that touched the G'Quan mountain ten of your years ago will reach the station in twelve hours. It's been on a long journey, but it's the same sunlight. Good enough for you to complete your ceremony, wouldn't you agree?"

And a final warning from Senator Hidoshi:
Hidoshi: "Remind me never to play poker with you, Sinclair: you are a hell of a gambler. This time you won: the Senate has decided to let your decision on the strike stand without comment."
Sinclair: I'm glad they see it my way."
Hidoshi: "They do not. But... public opinion is on your side.
Sinclair: "I see."
Hidoshi: "Commander, I admire what you've done there. My great-grandfather worked the New Kobe spacedocks till the day he died. I will admit, the discomfort you've given some of my colleagues pleases me. This is why I am telling you this. Orin Zento has powerful friends. By embarrassing him, you've embarrassed them. Today you have made new enemies. If I was you Commander, I would watch things very carefully. You are not the most popular person in government circles right now."
Sinclair (after the senator is gone): "So what else is new?"

(Only one episode and it exceeded the max char count? Yeah, and I know I could have cut it down but to be honest, this episode is so crucial and so pivotal that I really didn't want to do that, so for the first time I've had to split a single episode into two. I've kept the quotes and questions part for the second post: that'll show you just how much is going on in this one, and how much has to be discussed and explained.)

1.12 "Signs and portents"

And finally the arc begins its slow journey across the topography of the storyline! With our last major arc episode being "And the sky full of stars", which really posed more questions than it answered, we're given more clues in this episode as to what's happening, or what may be happening.

New character: "Mr. Morden" played by Ed Wasser
https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/i...EfIFOrPqRqQ5Dk
Although he is only introduced in this episode, and we will not see or hear of him again until deep into season two, the enigmatic Mr. Morden will be a pivotal figure around whom the second, third and fourth seasons will all revolve. He will orchestrate dark plans, betray and dupe people, and be directly responsible for the deaths of millions.

So, then, the episode...

Let's just, for the moment, leave aside the main plot involving the raiders, shall we? Although these space battles added excitement and special effects, and ensured the show didn't drag for those who can't sit easy unless there's a big colourful explosion lighting up the screen every five minutes, in essence they turn out to be side-avenues, dead-ends in fact which in my opinion merely serve to pad out the episodes they're in without being important or adding to the overall story. In the end, they come across to me as unimportant, and while they're well-written, they can all (there are a few of them in a sort of ongoing subplotline for a while) be described as "raiders threaten Babylon 5 and its borders and the station's fighters go out to, well, fight them." The end.

In fairness, if that were all there was to this episode I'd be writing another few-liner synopsis a la "Infection", and leaving it at that. But it's not. Oh, Great Maker, no. It's far more than a shoot-em-up-get-out-of-our-space thing, and looking behind the raiders story, there's so much more going on. Get comfortable, because from this point on the story begins to begin to unfold, if you understand. No-one is saying everything is going to become clear in a few episodes, or even in this season --- in fact, the next episode is a real throwaway in one sense --- but things do start to move slowly towards the first major revelations, and a shattering climax at the end of the season.

Londo meets with a man who claims to have recovered a long-lost Centuari relic, known only as The Eye. The man he is meeting is returning the artifact to him, having received payment for same from the Centauri government. Londo is unaware as he takes possession of The Eye that he is being watched. The man, who calls himself Morden, visits G'Kar and asks him "What do you want?" G'Kar is annoyed at the vagueness of the question, but eventually admits that what he wants is to wipe out the Centauri, every last one. But when asked what then, he shrugs, says it doesn't matter. As long as the Centauri are gone and his people's safety thus forever assured, he can't really think of anything else he wants. Morden leaves, looking less than impressed at the answer.

Linking back to "And the sky..." Sinclair takes Garibaldi into his confidence. The events that were revealed to him, the memories that came back when he was in the virtual reality cybernet, have been weighing on his mind, and he asks his friend to help him find out more about what happened.

Londo meanwhile greets Lord Kiro and his aunt, Lady Ladira, two nobles from the Centauri court; Ladira is a seer, and seems to be very troubled by Babylon 5, screaming that the place will be destroyed; she sees fire, death, destruction. Worried for her, Londo asks Kiro if her predictions are accurate, and the noble laughs that when he was young, she prophesied that he would one day be killed by shadows! Kiro wants to see The Eye, which he is conveying back to the Emperor on Centauri Prime. As they leave, the two are followed by someone who makes a report about locating his target.

Morden visits Delenn, asking her "What do you want?" but she feels faint, and a silver triangle appears on her forehead. When she turns again to look at Morden, she sees only darkness, as if the man is nothing more than a shadow. She demands he leave, which he does, and when he has departed she says to the air "They're here!" There is no disguising the fear and dread in her voice.

Kiro and Londo look at The Eye, and Kiro complains that as the artifact originally belonged to his family it should be his, not the Emperor's. Londo counsels him against such thoughts of usurping power; these are not the old days, he reminds the younger Centauri. Meanwhile Ambassador Kosh returns to the station --- this is the first time we've seen him for a while --- and Morden ducks behind a corner, as if afraid or reluctant to face the Vorlon. He does however meet Londo, and asks his question. When Londo, after some irritation, declares that he wants the Centauri Republic to rise again, for everything to be as it was when his people ruled the galaxy, Morden smiles and seems satisfied, as if this is the answer he came for. He leaves.

In complete fairness, this time the raiders story is tied in to the main plot, as it seems they've been trying to lure Babylon 5's fighters away from the station with decoy raids, in order to be able to attack Kiro's ship when it leaves and take The Eye. As they prepare to depart, Ladira has another vision --- well, the same, but clearer and more urgent --- and she screams "The shadows have come for Lord Kiro! The shadows have come for us all!" Kosh, meanwhile, has discovered the presence of Morden on the station and warns him off, though Morden does not seem afraid of him.

In Sinclair's office, Ladira has another vision, which shows us that Kiro, having had a deal with, and rendezvoused with, the raiders, has been betrayed as the raiders now intend to ransom The Eye back to the Centauri Republic, and Kiro will also fetch a decent price. However, as they prepare to imprison Kiro, a huge, alien, spiderlike spaceship emerges from a jumpgate and immediately destroys their ship.

Londo, when he hears of the tragedy --- more that The Eye is lost again than that Kiro is dead --- believes his career is over. He was the one responsible for getting the ancient artifact back to the homeworld, and he has failed. However just when all seems lost, Morden turns up with a box which happens to contain The Eye! He offers it to Londo as a gift, but when Londo, opening the box and unable to believe his eyes (pun intended!) turns back to thank the man, he is gone. He calls out after him down the corridor, asking how can he ever thank him, and a disembodied voice assures him that when the time is right, Morden will find him.

As a coda to the story, Garibaldi meets Sinclair and tells him that he has done some checking, as requested, and found out that Sinclair was a long way down the pecking order for the post of commander of the station. He only got the job because the Minbari demanded it. For some reason, Garibaldi tells his CO, they wanted him, and only him. Later, Sinclair is allowed to see the vision that the Lady Ladira had, and he sees the station explode. He is shaken, but she tells him this is one of many possible futures, and she hopes it may yet be changed.

Important Plot Arc Points:
Morden
Arc Level: Red
Although when he arrives at the station Morden is nondescript, and seems nothing more than a functionary --- in some ways, that's what he is, but with very powerful friends --- it is he who will set in motion a chain of events which will plunge the entire galaxy into war. He has come to Babylon 5 to ask the question he always does, and when he finds someone who gives him the answer he wants, he allies himself to that person, making them in fact beholden to him. When Londo Mollari "passes the test", he helps the Centauri ambassador out of his difficult predicament by recovering The Eye for him. He knows that Londo is now indebted to him, and you can be sure he will collect on this debt, many times over. But he also helps him because he knows that if he does not, Londo will lose fae and power, possibly his position and therefore be of no use to the strange man and his dark allies. He, and they, need Londo to be exactly where he is, and to have the power he has --- and more --- in order to properly benefit from their association with him.

The strange spider ship
Arc Level: Red
This is the first time we ever see this odd alien ship. It looks almost alive, a huge, twisting, rippling thing through which stars and the darkness of space seem to leak, and from which light seems to bounce off and bend away. In shape like nothing morel than a massive spider, it's obviously got superior armaments, as it cuts through the raiders' ship like a hot knife through butter, and there is no communication from it, no demand to return The Eye, no call for surrender, and no identification of any sort. It appears suddenly, and vanishes as quickly, like a predatory beast used to roaming space. This is not the last time we will see this ship, in fact, by season three it will be a familiar and terrifying sight all over the galaxy.

"What do you want?"
Arc level: Red
Yep, another one! I told you this episode was arc-heavy! There's little arc-wise in this episode that doesn't impinge heavily on further seasons, and in many ways it's the first real major turning point for the storyline. The question is a simple one, but never qualified or contextualised, so in that manner hard to answer. If someone were to stop you on the street and ask that question, your first reaction would probably be what do you mean? What do I want in what way? Without knowing the context in which it's asked it's a very leading and open question, and G'Kar breaks it down, trying to get Morden to clarify, but he will not. All he will say is "What do you want?" It's Londo of course who gives him the answer he wants, the answer he has come for, and in doing so makes something of a deal with the Devil, even though he does not as yet realise that.

"Leave this place!"
Arc Level: Red
When Morden meets Kosh, the Vorlon warns him to leave. Morden refuses, and some time later Garibaldi mentions that the ambassador has asked for tools to repair his encounter suit, though he will not say how it got damaged. Whoever Morden works for, whoever his allies or, as he calls them himself, "associates", are, it's clear they bear no love for the Vorlons! And vice versa.

Lady Ladira's vision
Arc Level: Red
What the Centauri seer saw was an attack on Babylon 5 and the eventual destruction of the station. Although it's easy to dismiss this, don't be so hasty, as it will impinge very much on the station's fate in the years to come, and will not be as clear-cut as we're led to think it may. Other things she saw and spoke of will also become more clear when season two gets going.

QUOTES
Londo, taking possession of The Eye:
Courier: "Nice piece of jewellery, isn't it?"
Londo: "Great Maker! This is not a piece of jewellery. This is not "the merchandise. This is the Eye, the oldest symbol of Centauri nobility, property of the first Emperor. It comes from the earliest days of the Republic, lost over a hundred years ago at the Battle of Nashok."
Courier: "I know the story, Ambassador. And I'm glad it means something to you, but to me it's just another commission. My job is to find things --- objects, people, you name it. And now that I've got my payment I'll be on my way."
Londo: "Payment indeed! My government paid enough to buy a small planet. But I would very much like to know how you got your hands on this,"
Courier: "No. You wouldn't."

Londo and G'Kar have a heated argument as they wait for the lift: this is about the only moment of comic relief in a dark, moody, portent-heavy episode, and as ever, it comes from the inspired pairing of Peter Jurasik and the late, lamented Andreas Katsulas.

Londo (after G'Kar has pressed the button for the lift): "I pressed it already."
G'Kar: "I have pressed it again."
Londo: "Ah. (Pause) I hear there is a famine on your world's southern frontier. My condolences."
G'Kar: "You should have thought of that before you strip-mined our resources."
Londo: "Ah, so it is all our fault, hmm?"
G'Kar: "Precisely."
Londo: "I have noticed that your own people have continued to exploit your world's resources, to build the mighty Narn war machine."
G'Kar: "We have to protect ourselves!"
Londo: "By doing to yourselves what you say we did to you? Ah! That's evolution for you!"
(Through this conversation the two ambassadors are waiting for the lift with one human, one on either side of him, and he looks very uncomfortable in the middle, trying to ignore both)
G'Kar: "Now see here..."
Londo: "You should look upon this famine as a blessing, Ambassador. A weeding out of the excess population!"
G'Kar: "One more comment like that, Mollari, and you will become part of the excess population!"
Londo: "P***h! Threats! Now you can go to Hell!"
G'Kar: "And you can kiss my pouch, you ---"
(In the middle of this exchange, the lift arrives and the grateful human legs it, leaving the two ambassadors glaring at each other, declaring in unison "Now look what you made me do!")

Morden visits three of the ambassadors while at Babylon 5, (four if you include Kosh, though he initially avoids him and seems to have no intention of meeting him) and asks them the same question. Oddly enough, he does not go to Sinclair, though later we will understand the reason for that. It seems that he is looking for a particular answer, and the way he reacts to the three different replies tells its own story, and will become more clear in seasons to come.

G'Kar, representative of the Narn Regime, a recently-occupied and oppressed people, just getting back on their collective feet after having been under the boot of a foreign power. A people thirsty for revenge. A young race, an impressionable, impulsive one?

G'Kar: "I'm not sure I understand the question, Mr...?"
Morden: "Morden."
G'Kar: "Yes, Morden. Who did you say authorised this little chat?"
Morden: "Councillor Chu'bar. First Circle."
G'Kar: "And does he know what this is about?"
Morden: "No. But in order to see someone of your prominence, I had to get a recommendation. He provided it. You still haven't answered my question, Ambassador: what do you want?"
G'Kar: "What do you mean, what do I want?"
Morden: "What do you want?"
G'Kar: "What do I want for supper? What do I want to do this evening? What do ---"
Morden: "What do you want?"
G'Kar: "This is pointless! What I want is for you to go away and leave me in peace."
Morden: "As you say." (Goes to leave. G'Kar thinks it over for a moment)
G'Kar: "Wait! What do I want? The Centauri stripped my world. I want justice."
Morden: "But what do you want?"
G'Kar: "To suck the marrow from their bones and grind their skulls to powder."
Morden: "What do you want?"
G'Kar: "To tear down their cities! Blacken their sky! Sow their ground with salt. To completely, utterly erase them!"
Morden: "And then what?"
G'Kar: "I don't know. As long as my homeworld's safety is guaranteed, I don't know that it matters."
Morden: "I see. Well, thank you very much for your time, Amabassador. Good day."

The Minbari, one of the oldest races, and indeed with a certain involvement with the Vorlons. In essence, it can be view as strange that Morden visits Delenn, unless he is unaware of her connection to Kosh and his people, because he clearly does not want to deal with the Vorlons. He should also know that the Minbari are a peaceful race, and very cerebral and slow to act in anger, but perhaps he is viewing them through the lens of the Earth/Minbari war. However, he gets more than he bargained for, though he does not seem to realise it at the time.

Delenn: "What is the purpose of your question, Mr ... Morden, is it?"
Morden: "The question is its own purpose, Ambassador Delenn. What do you want?"
Delenn: "I am informed you have just seen Ambassador G'Kar. Are you asking each of us this question?"
Morden: "Perhaps. Does that invalidate the question?"
Delenn: "No, but it makes me wonder..."
(here she cuts off, becoming faint. Morden feigns concern)
Morden: "Something wrong, Ambassador?"
Delenn: "No, just a moment of fatigue."
Morden: "Ambassador?"
Delenn: "Leave me. Get out! Now!" (after Morden leaves) "They're here..."

Had Morden been better informed, or more alive to the situation, had he seen the triangle that appeared on Delenn's forehead (he doesn't, as she covers it and turns away from him) perhaps he might have realised that he had made something of a major mistake in coming to the Minbari. As it is, he assumes he is simply not wanted here and will not get an answer to his question. When Delenn sees the dark shadow over him, it is a presentiment of horrors to come, and also perhaps a race memory, from a people who have seen his kind before.

And finally, Londo. The Centauri, Morden will know or have been informed, are a broken people. Once proud masters of the galaxy, with a star-spanning empire and subjects by the millions, the emergence of other, younger races, the first steps of Mankind into space coupled with their bruising occupation of Narn and its attendant guerilla war by the inhabitants of that planet, have stretched their resources, weakened their position and forced them onto the sidelines. If anyone can be expected to jump at the chance to reestablish themselves in the places of power, it surely must be the fading Centauri Republic. If only Morden can get Londo to indicate that this is indeed what they, and he, want.

Morden (as Londo is leaving with The Eye): "Ah, Ambassador Mollari. I was just coming to see you. My name is..."
Londo: "Sorry, but I don't have time to chat right now. I suggest you make an appointment."
Morden: "I did."
Londo: "Then make another one. (to himself) Never a transport tube when you need one!"
Morden: "Ambassador, I was authorised to speak to you by ..."
Londo: "Yes! Yes! Look: what do you want?"
Morden: "That's what I was going to ask you! What do you want?"
Londo: "You are a lunatic. Go away. Pester someone else." (The transport tube doors open, he steps in. Morden follows him) You are a very persistent young man."
Morden: "I have to be. I'm not allowed to leave here until you answer my question. What do you want?"
Londo: "This is a silly conversation."
Morden: "Yes it is. What do you want?"
Londo: "To be left alone!" (The tube reaches his destination and the doors open. He walks out. Morden remains in the tube).
Morden: "Is that it? Is that really all, Ambassador?"
Londo: "All right. Fine. You really want to know what I want? You really want to know the truth? I want my people to reclaim their rightful place in the galaxy. I want to see the Centauri stretch forth their hand again, and command the stars. I want a rebirth of glory, a renaissance of power. I want to stop running through my life, like a man late for an appointment, afraid to look back, or to look forward. I want us to be what we used to be. I want it all back the way that it was! Does that answer your question?"
Morden: "Yes. Yes it does."

This is a speech that will set in motion a chain of events which initially will give Londo what he wants indeed, but which will at length sweep him along like a helpless swimmer caught in a tsuanami, unable to stop the tide, knowing that it will destroy everything in its wake, and that somehow it is his fault. He will regret those words, that speech, voicing that seemingly unattainable desire, but not immediately. The full gravity and despair of the events that begin to unfold here, and that will spiral totally out of control, will not be made apparent to him until it is far too late, and not only for him.

Mister Morden departs. He has his answer. And the galaxy waits and shudders.

However, as he leaves, Kosh warns him "Leave this place. They are not for you. Go. Leave. Now."

Garibaldi explains to Sinclair what he has found out about the Battle of the Line, and his part in it.
Garibaldi: "I dug around a little and... look, Jeff, you probably know you weren't first in line to run this place."
Sinclair: "I suspected as much. I was surprised when they called me. How far down the list was I?"
Garibaldi: "Pretty far. I mean, despite all its problems this is still a high-profile job, a real plum. Admirals, generals, the whole brass was lined up hoping to get it, but every name was rejected until they got to you."
Sinclair: "Rejected by who?"
Garibaldi: "The Minbari government. They were first to sign on to support Babylon 5, on the condition that they had approval on who ran this place. They wanted you."

Morden's parting gift to Londo. The ambassador believes his career here is finished, with the loss of The Eye, until Morden turns up with it.
Morden: "Good evening Ambassador."
Londo: "You! Go away! It's late: I'm in no mood for your games."
Morden: "I'm leaving shortly; I got what I came for. But before I go .... a gift. From friends that you don't know you have." (He proffers the box to Londo, and while the ambassador opens it disbelievingly, he leaves the room. When Londo sees what is in the box, he turns in amazement)
Londo: "The Eye! How ---?" But Morden is gone. He looks out into the corridor. Nothing. "Where did you go, eh?" he calls into the air. "Let me buy you a drink! Let me buy you an entire fleet of drinks! How can I ever find you to thank you?"
From down the corridor, its origin no longer seen, comes the reply: "We will find you, Ambassador. We will find you."

Though he does not realise it at the time, this is a chilling warning, a dire warning of the storm yet to break.

And so, as the arc begins its slow turn, we have some questions that need to be answered. Many will not be resolved for several seasons, some will be known by the end of this one, but almost all will lead to bigger and more complex conundrums.

QUESTIONS
What is the odd alien ship that attacks the raiders' ship? And why does it attack? Where has it come from, and to where does it go after the attack?

How did Morden recover The Eye?

Who is this cold, strange little man who seems to wield such power that he doesn't even fear Kosh?

Why does Kosh tell him to leave, and what does he mean by "they are not for you?"

What is the fate of Babylon 5? Will it really be destroyed, as the Lady Ladira foresaw?

Why did the Minbari want Sinclair to be the one to run the station? What is their connection to Babylon 5?

What does Delenn mean when she says "They're here", and what did she see when she looked at Morden? Why the darkness? And what was the weird little triangle that appeared on her forehead?

Morden is obviously the agent or emissary of someone far more powerful than he. Who is this entity, group, organisation, person or race? And why are they so interested in what people want?

Why does he not approach the human leadership of the station, ie Sinclair?

Get ready folks: the ride begins here!

A few more points: this is the first time we see an introduction of a character called Corwin. He will later become of somewhat minor importance, for a time, climaxing in having his name in the credits at the start, but it doesn't quite work out. This episode --- and indeed this series --- is I think unique certainly in sci-fi but possibly also in major drama, in that it is the only one I can recall that features the characters actually going to visit the toilet (well, apart from "Hill Street Blues", where someone was always wrecking the gents, setting it on fire, or having impromptu meetings there!) --- even Jack Bauer, in "24", never seems to have the time to take a piss! It's nice to see that JMS kept this basic human need/imperative and showed us that yes, on regular occasions, just like us, his characters have to visit the little boys' room. I think this makes the show that much more real.

Finally, check the pilot episode again, near the beginning. That control technician in the opening sequence? Look familiar? Look again. Yeah, it's him: Ed Wasser, who plays Mr. Morden. But is it just coincidence, or is he supposed to have been the character, watching and waiting, plotting on the sidelines, observing the events unfolding as Kosh arrives at Babylon 5? We'll never know, as JMS has refused to tell. But it's an interesting hypothesis.

These last couple of reviews on Babylon 5 are amazing. I've finished season 1 and should start viewing season 2 in about a week. These story arcs that you include, are they something already on the internet connected with the series and you have just re-written them? Or are they totally your idea?

Thanks for the compliment, Julian!
I'm not quite sure what you're asking about the arcs? JMS has already gone on record explaining the five-year story arc, so all I'm doing is giving hints and pointers to it where I know it occurs in an episode or group of episodes. The writing is all mine; the reviews are either based on synopses already online (mostly The Lurker's Guide) or directly from the DVDs of the episodes. Anything else is my own form of observation. Quotes are obviously taken from the discs, the "Important Plot Arc Points" are mine, as I know these stories so well, and the questions and other bits are all my own work, in that sense. I've not taken them from anywhere. I just love this show. I wrote a book on it once, but was refused publication because it wasn't officially endorsed, and as it happened, the official guide was coming out a few months later.

Then I lost the entire thing in a disc crash! Months, literally, of work that could never be replaced or rewritten. It still hurts when I think about it. Plus I had a Babylon 5 website but Warners contacted me and demanded I shut it down, so I had to. That was about what twenty years ago?

Anyway, glad you're enjoying the reviews and season two should really blow your socks off once you get about, hmm, halfway in...

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1.10 "Asylum"

Dean is amazed to receive what looks like a text of co-ordinates which he believes originated with their father. The co-ords point to an abandoned asylum, which has been the subject of mysterious deaths over the past few years, and now there's a story about a cop who went in there only last night and then came home and shot his wife dead before taking his own life. Sam tries to reason with Dean that the text may not have come from their dad --- it does say "unknown" on the caller ID --- but Dean is having none of it, and excitedly heads off towards the location shown on the text message.

Disappointed that they don't meet their father there --- Dean had hoped for this, Sam was not so sure --- they investigate anyway and find a plaque in the asylum with a doctor's name on it. This leads them to the doctor's son, who fills them in on the fact that there was a riot in the south wing, where all the violent, criminally insane patients were held, in 1964. There were deaths and some bodies were never recovered, which leads the boys to assume there could be some dark energy, angry spirits still haunting the asylum.

Meanwhile two stupid kids enter the asylum too, thinking it'll be a laugh. Well, the boy thinks he's cool and brave and is trying to scare his date. She is more worried and uncomfortable. He goes off to explore but she stays behind. While he's cut off from her a female spirit tries to kiss him, but he pulls away and when Dean and Sam, with the girl, Kat, in tow, find him he tells them that he thinks the ghost tried to whisper something in his ear. As they make their way towards the exit, Kat is grabbed by another of the spirits and whisked into a cell, the door slamming shut, but Sam, who has also been approached by one of the spirits, tells her she has to listen to what it has to say.

Scared but seeing this as the only way to get out, she does and tells the guys that the spirit whispered "137" to her. Deducing this to be a room in the asylum, Dean goes to look for it while Sam gets the kids to safety. This turns out to be harder than expected though, as all exits are locked and all window barred. Seems something doesn't want them to leave, not just yet. Then Sam gets a call on his mobile phone from Dean, and rushes off to meet him, leaving the two kids alone but with a shotgun full of rock salt, good for repelling spirits. When Dean shows up shortly afterwards the two tell him that Sam went to see him, as he had called him, but Dean says he never made any call, so it's obviously a trap.

Indeed it is, as Sam encounters the spirit of Dr. Elicott, the head psychiatrist who had been conducting tests of extreme rage therapy, hoping that by making his patients vent their anger it would cure them of it. In reality, it only amplified it, leading to the '64 riot and the death of the good doctor. Now he has infused Sam with his anger and when he meets Dean again Sam attacks him, his rage boiling over as he shoots his brother, but since the shotgun is only loaded with rock salt it just knocks Dean out. When he comes to, he realises what has happened as Sam berates Dean for giving him orders, following slavishly the course their father has set out for them, always being the "good little soldier" etc, and Dean hands him a real gun, daring him to kill him. Sam squeezes the trigger but nothing happens: the gun is empty. Taken by surprise, Sam is off guard as Dean clocks him.

Down in the basement Dean locates the doctor's bones and pours salt over them, though the angry spirit tries to do to him what he did to Sam. Dean is however able to throw his lighter on the pile of bones and it goes up like a torch, the spirit vanishing as the bones disintegrate. The four of them reunited make their way out of the no-longer-haunted asylum.

The next morning, Dean's phone rings but he is asleep so Sam answers it. He stares in amazement at the thing as he gasps "Dad?"

MUSIC
Bachman-Turner Overdrive: "Hey you!"


QUESTIONS?
Other than the obvious, at the end: is that really their father calling?

The "WTF??!" moment
Again, final scene, as Dean's phone rings and Sam answers it, and it appears to be their dad on the other end...

PCRs
A lot in this episode, probably the most so far:

Talking about his father, Dean says "I love the guy, but I swear, he writes like friggin’ Yoda!" A reference to the Jedi Master Yoda of the second and third Star Wars movies...

When introducing himself to one of the cops who searched the asylum, Dean says "I’m, uh, Nigel Tufnel, with The Chicago Tribune." Nigel Tufnel is the lead guitarist with spoof metal band Spinal Tap.

Making light of his knowledge of Sam's visions, Dean asks him to "Let me know if you see any dead people, Haley Joel." Haley Joel Oserver is the actor who played Charlie in "The sixth sense", the Bruce Willis-starred movie about a boy who can see dead people.

Dean mentions "Yeah, whatever. Don’t ask, don’t tell." A reference to the US military tradition of prohibiting the recruitment of gay or bisexual applicants to their services. "Don't ask don't tell" was repealed by President Obama in 2011.

Dean asks (Yeah, I notice Dean uses the lion's share of the PCRs!) "Hey, Sam, who do you think is a hotter psychic –- Patricia Arquette, Jennifer Love Hewitt, or you?" Jennifer Love Hewitt plays Melinda, a girl who can see and communicate with spirits in the TV drama show "Ghost whisperer", while Patricia Arquette is Allison DuBois, based on a real-life medium in the series, well, "Medium".

Dean makes two references to Jack Nicholson in this episode. First: "Kind of like my man, Jack in Cuckoo’s Nest." That would be "One flew over the cuckoo's nest", a cult movie about life in an insane asylum.

And "Kind of like my man Jack in The Shining" Another reference to "The Shining", this time clearly indicating the movie and not the book.

Dean calls Dr. Elicott "Dr Feelgood". They were a British rock band of the seventies and eighties, whose biggest and most popular hit was "Milk and alcohol."

Dean also tells Sam, after his brother tries to shoot him "Man, I’m not gonna give you a loaded pistol!" Although it's not a direct quote, and may just be Dean expressing his understanding that Sam was out of his head at the time, this could be a line from "Die hard", when Bruce Willis says it to Alan Rickman's character, who has been pretending to be a frightened American instead of one of the terrorists who took over the building. It would fit in with Dean's makeup and preferences certainly that he would use a quote from that movie.

BROTHERS
Here we see the continuing disparity between how the two boys see their father. Dean, as someone who has helped his dad hunting down evil creatures for the past number of years, is ready to follow orders and go where he's sent, or believes he's being sent. Sam is more level-headed and suspicious, reasoning that the text they receive at the beginning may not even be from their father. Dean is convinced it is, though there's little evidence to support that. It's more a leap of faith on the part of the older brother. However, Dean is at the wheel and despite Sam's protestations, it's he who makes the decision to check out the asylum.

Although under the mind control of the spirit doctor at the time, the feelings of resentment that bubble up to the surface in Sam have their basis in reality. He does feel like Dean makes all the decisions, and in some ways sees him as almost a hired hand. Even Kat, the girl they meet in the asylum, asks if Dean is his boss, which of course slightly angers and perhaps embarrasses the younger man. When he is pushed to it (in his controlled state, it has to be said) he is actually prepared to kill his brother, though of course he would not do so normally; in fact, each would die to save the other's life.

Sam is more open and honest, more trusting than his brother. This may come from the fact that he has not spent the last few years stalking demons and evil things in the night. He prefers to tell the truth, where possible, whereas Dean usually constructs some sort of alibi or false identity. This is shown clearly when they return to their old home, and Dean immediately begins making up a story but Sam just tells Jenny who they really are. Sometimes of course, Sam's honesty will work and sometimes it will lead him and his brother into more trouble, just as Dean's attempts to lead various lives and hold multiple identities, while often handy, will come back to bite him on occasion.

It's rather telling, and good storywriting, that it's Sam, essentially the skeptic in terms of whether they will ever find their father --- or whether he's even alive --- who takes the call which appears to be from him.

1.11 "Scarecrow"

Picking up the phone that rang at the end of last episode, Sam talks to his father, who tells the boys he can't meet them yet but he is all right. He tells Sam he knows what happened to Jessica, and that the thing that killed both her and their mother, which he is hunting, is a demon. Sam says they can help, but John tells him instead to take down a list of names he's going to give him, saying the events about to unfold are bigger and more important than he and his quest for vengeance. Sam won't listen but Dean grabs the phone and nods, writing down the names. Seems that there is a certain spot in Indiana where, on the second week of April, three couples from three different states, all taking cross-country road trips, disappeared without trace. Since all their paths intersected at this one point, John believes there is something there responsible for the disappearances, and asks (well, orders really) his sons to go there and investigate.

Sam however is adamant that they should go to California --- the phone prefix code John used was for Sacramento --- and offer their help to their father despite his orders. He reveals that he is far closer to the tragedy than Dean, having seen his girlfriend killed only weeks ago. The two argue, and Sam eventually declares he will go to California on his own. In a heated rage, he gets out of the car and will not come back. Dean, equally angry and mystified as to why his brother won't trust their father, threatens to drive off and leave him, and when neither back down, this is exactly what he does.

Dean travels on to Burkitsville, Indiana, where he starts asking questions about the couples who have disappeared. He has no luck until the owners of the general store recognise the most recent one. They point him in the direction the couple left after they had fuelled up. Sam meanwhile meets a girl hitch-hiking like him, but Meg is pretty and sexy and quickly gets a ride, while Sam waits for someone to take pity on him. As Dean passes an orchard his EMF goes off, indicating paranormal activity nearby. He investigates and finds a nasty-looking scarecrow in the field, holding what appears to be a scythe. When he looks closer he is dismayed to see that the scarecrow has a tattoo, indeed the very same as the one the guy in the last couple to come through here and disappear had.

Back in town, he talks to Emily, who works in the gas station. She tells him she knows of the scarecrow and it creeps her out, but as far as she can remember it's been there forever. Dean points to a van, and she says it belongs to some couple who are having car troubles. Fearing the worst, Dean backtracks to the cafe where Scotty, the owner, is plying the couple with cider and apple pie. He seems very annoyed when Dean tries to interfere, to get the couple moving sooner, and when Dean warns them enigmatically that they may be in danger. He calls the sherrif, who forces Dean to leave the town. Meanwhile, waiting for the bus to Sacramento, Sam is reunited with Meg, who tells him the van driver was a pest and she left him. Turns out she's going to California too, so they introduce each to the other.

Undeterred, Dean is on his way back into town as night falls. He comes across the couple in the orchard, running from the scarecrow, which has somehow come to life. He shoots it, but it keeps coming. At the last it disappears, and the couple say they can't believe their car broke down, so soon after supposedly being fixed. Now that they're safe however, Dean calls Sam and they discuss what the scarecrow could be. Dean thinks it's some sort of pagan god. He reasons that the deaths only happen once a year, at the same time, and that it's always a man and a woman involved, indicating some sort of fertility rite. The fact that the townsfolk feed the couple before they leave is to him like fattening up the calf for slaughter before it's sacrificed to the god. After an awkward moment, the boys settle their differences: Dean says he realises Sam must follow his own path, and that he's proud of him. He asks him to call him when Sam meets their father.

Dean goes to a college to find out what he can about local gods, and turns up a picture of a scarecrow in a field, which the local professor tells him is one of the Vanir, a Norse god. The descendants of the village are mostly from Scandinavia, so that would fit. Also, the Vanir seems to draw its magical strength from the tree it co-exists with, so now Dean has a good idea how to kill the scarecrow in Burkitsville: burn the tree and the scarecrow should die with it. Unfortunately, just as he leaves the college with this vital information he's knocked unconscious by the sheriff, and it seems the professor is in on it too.

When Dean wakes up he is in a cellar, and then Emily, the girl he spoke to at the gas station, is brought in by her Aunt Stacy and Uncle Harley, who run the gas station and clearly intend to make she and Dean a sacrifice to the scarecrow. Seems it always has to be a couple and, well, Dean amd Emily aren't one but the god won't know or care. Dean tries to explain to her about the tree, and she tells him there is one in the orchard that is revered and treated as special; the townsfolk call it The First Tree. This surely must be the one the scarecrow is drawing its power from. Meanwhile Sam, about to board the Sacramento bus, changes his mind. He has not been able to get in touch with Dean for three hours and is concerned, considering what his brother is chasing. He decides to head to Burkitsville. Meg is almost in tears as he leaves, in disbelief that he is going back to the person he told her he was running from.

The townspeople tie Emily and Dean to separate trees and retreat. Dean tells Emily to keep watch and let him know when the scarecrow starts to move. She gasps and says she sees a shadow moving, but it turns out to be the returned Sam, who frees them. When they try to escape the orchard however the villagers are blocking their path. Just then the scarecrow appears and slices into Harley, then taking Stacy too. The sacrifice has been made --- if not the intended one --- and the townsfolk leg it. The next morning they locate the tree and Dean Sam and Emily burn it to the ground.

They leave the next morning, Emily deserting her erstwhile adopted family and going to Boston on a bus, Sam electing to join back up with Dean: it's pretty obvious they both need each other, and they've now blown off the required steam. Meg, meanwhile, is picked up on the road again and when the driver's attention is diverted she slits his throat, allowing the blood to pour into a silver bowl which then seems to allow her to contact someone. She argues that she "could have stopped Sam", but although we can only hear one side of the converation, it ends with her nodding and saying "Yes father"....

MUSIC

Creedence Clearwater Revival: "Lodi"

Bad Company: "Bad company"

Colepitz: "Puppet"


QUESTIONS?

The one from "Home" remains: why does John Winchester not want his sons' help, and why will he not meet them yet? What is he waiting for? And what does he mean by "this thing is bigger than anything else"?

Who, exactly, or what, is Meg? It seems obvious from the final scene that she's either some sort of demon or is allied with one, and the fact that she communicates with her father by murder and blood sacrifice is not good...

PCRs
Dean to Scotty: "Hi, my name’s John Bonham. " Drummer with Led Zeppelin (For once, he's found out, as Scotty professes to be a fan...)

Aunt Stacy to Emily: "The good of the many outweighs the good of the one" Classic line from Star Trek II: The wrath of Khan", spoken by Spock as an example of pure logic. The actual line is "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Or the one."

Dean, as they try to escape the field: "Let’s just shag ass before Leather Face catches up!" Leather Face is, I believe, the crazed killer in "Texas Chainsaw Massacre". However, it's an unfortunate choice of phrase as "shag" means, at least here, to (ahem) make love, and to have the word "ass" after it, well....

The "WTF??"! moment
Right at the end, when the sweet, innocent Meg is revealed to be something far, far darker and more evil. When she's picked up and says "I need to make a call", and the driver hands her a mobile phone, and she says "It's not that sort of call!", suddenly slitting his throat, there is no other phrase that goes through your head but WTF???!

BROTHERS

This is the first time the boys have a real big blow-up. They've had their differences of opinion before, mostly about how they see their father, and indeed this is the catalyst for their temporary separation here. Sam can't believe that Dean would just blindly follow orders from their father, and wants to go help him in his quest to track down and face the demon that killed their mother, although as he points out Sam is closer to the event than Dean, having only just recently watched his fiancee die at its hands. When Dean won't see things his way, Sam reaches breaking point and leaves his brother, determined to do what he believes is right.

It's indicative of the fact the Sam has not spoken to, or engaged in any way with his father in years that when he is told what to do he argues, demurs and questions, whereas Dean, aware of the way his dad's mind works and somewhat aware of what's at stake, snaps to attention, as it were, immediately and does as he is told. While Dean never questions their father, Sam is all too quick to, and this denotes the different ways the two men see their father.

Left on his own to work things out, Dean has yet to turn to Sam for advice, or perhaps just support, and even at the end he is willing to allow Sam follow the path he has set, by asking if he needs to be dropped somewhere, but it's Sam who realises that his place is by his brother's side, and even though they make light of their reunion, it's obviously a big relief to both the brothers to be back again as a team.

1.12 "Faith"

Trying to save some kids from a random monster, Dean gets electrocuted when he has only one chance: to use the taser even though it's in a puddle of water. He kills the thing but gets shocked himself, and when Sam gets the news at the hospital it is not good: the electric shock triggered a massive heart attack and Dean has perhaps weeks to live. Determined not to let that happen, Sam brings him to a faith healer who, though Dean is sceptical, seems to heal him and then while getting checked out at the hospital by a disbelieving doctor, Dean is troubled to hear that the same day he was healed another young man dropped dead of a heart attack. He confides to Sam that onstage at the faith healer, Roy LeGrange, he saw what looked like a very old and pale man, and he thinks it was a spirit, maybe Death himself, who passed him over. But why? And what link is there between his "miraculous" recovery and this other young man's unexpected death?

Unconvinced that his recovery is in fact a miracle, and worried that there might be some outside agency at work, maybe through Roy, Dean meets with him and his wife, Sue-Anne, and is told that some years ago Roy was diagnosed with cancer. He woke up blind, was expected to die, but he prayed and he was healed. Ever since then, he's been able to perform miracles: healing the crippled, bringing sight to the sightless, making lame men walk, the whole thing. Sam meanwhile has gone to check out the swimming pool where the guy who did die used to work, and he's told the guy was a fitness fanatic, very healthy, and his mate is surprised that he took a heart attack. He tells Sam that apparently at the time of his death the guy was running, from something that he said was after him. Sam notices the clock is stopped at 4:17, which un-coincidentally is the time of death. Since it stopped it hasn't worked again. 4:17 is also the exact time Dean was healed.

On the way out of Roy's house, Dean meets Layla, who has an inoperable brain tumour and is trying to see the healer, but has been rebuffed at every turn. "Roy wants to help you", Sue-Anne tells her and her frustrated mother, "and he will, just as soon as the Lord allows him." Angry that Dean has been cured when firstly he's a stranger (and they've attended every single service, this being their sixth time to try to get Layla seen) and secondly he's not a believer, the mother demands to know what gives Dean the right to be cured in Layla's place? Dean is sad but can say nothing and leaves. Back with Sam he gets the bad news: a death occurred at exactly the same time as he was cured, and with the same symptoms. Sam, checking further, has discovered a history of deaths linked to "miracles" Roy has performed. All take place at the same time, and mirror each other. So the guys now know that some agency is working through Roy, taking lives for those spared. Dean feels sick. He knows what they're dealing with: a Reaper.

Sam is sceptical: the Grim Reaper, he asks, but Dean says no, not THE Reaper, just A Reaper. He explains that every culture has its reaper legend, and that you can only see them when they're coming for you, which is why he could see the figure onstage when he was healed and Sam could not: the Reaper originally was coming for him. Reapers can also stop time, and Dean reasons that somehow Roy is working with one in order to perform his miracles. Dean remembers seeing an odd cross on the stage and checking now they see it's linked to the tarot. Roy must be using its magic to bind the reaper and make it do his will. Dean is for killing Roy, calling him a monster, but Sam refuses to slay a human, no matter how evil they may be. They decide the best thing is to find a way to break the spell and release the reaper.

Sam breaks into Roy's house while he's at service, and finds a small book with a picture of a reaper on the cover. He also finds newspaper cuttings about those who have died to give others life, and a darker subtext begins to reveal itself. There are gays, abortions rights advocates, people who surely Roy would consider impure and perhaps enemies. The latest is one about Wright, a man who does not believe Roy has been sent from God, and has been handing out protest pamphlets at every service. They just passed him on the way in. Sam calls Dean and tells him that he is going after the guy, to try to save him, but until he has Dean has to make sure nobody else gets healed.

Ironically, it's Layla's name that's called, and though Dean tries to explain to her that she can't go up, that someone will die in her place, she doesn't understand and is overjoyed at finally having her chance. Sam goes after Wright, but though the man is running from the reaper Sam can't see him, and has to rely on Wright to tell him where the creature is. Dean manages to interrupt the service by shouting "Fire!" and everyone evacuates, but the reaper still keeps coming. Confused, Dean realises that Roy is not the one controlling the thing, then sees Sue Anne reciting in the corner. SHE is the one in control! He tries to confront her but she screams and cops drag Dean away, throwing him out of the tent. But at least the reaper has been confused enough by the half-recited spell that it has stopped pursuing Wright.

Roy then tells Layla and her mother that he will heal Layla in a private ceremony tonight at his home. Dean and Sam discuss the fact that they believe Roy may not know that his wife is controlling the reaper. They reason that originally she may have bound the creature to save Roy from death, but now she's using it to pursue her own twisted moral agenda, having it kill people she sees as immoral, or who threaten her and her husband. The boys read that to bind a reaper a black altar has to be built, with human bones, blood and so on. They also think the large cross in the tent, which is mirrored in miniature around Sue Anne's neck, could be a key. They resolve to destroy both before Layla can be healed and another innocent dies in her place.

Sam finds the altar but Sue Anne gets the drop on him and locks him in the house, telling him that just as she was able to give life to Dean, she can as easily take it away, the inferrence being that Dean is now going to die in place of Layla. Not really sure how that works, as they are/were suffering from different complaints, but anyway... Dean is walking along towards the tent when the reaper comes after him. Sam has managed to break out and attacks Sue Anne in her recital, smashing a glass bottle of blood. Horrified, Sue Anne watches as the spell is broken and the reaper comes for her, taking her life. I particularly like the quote here, when she gasps "My God! What have you done?" and Sam snarls "He isn't your god!" Nice one, Sam!

Although everything has turned out for the best, it hasn't really. Layla still hasn't been healed, and Roy can no longer work his "miracles". Dean agonises over whether or not they did the right thing in stopping the reaper before Layla could have been cured, but there's no easy answer really.

MUSIC
(Anyone wanna guess?) :rolleyes:
Blue Oyster Cult: "Don't fear the Reaper"


QUESTIONS?
Not really any as such.

PCRs
Again, none really. One of the victims of the reaper is jogging along and the music on her ipod is BOC, but it's a bit over-obvious, and the whole "Don't fear the Reaper" thing is totally overdone in terms of music. But then, what else could have been used?

The "WTF??!" moment
Probably right near the start, where we learn Dean has less than a month to live.

BROTHERS
This is a pretty dark time for Sam. He faces losing his brother, and no doubt blames himself for leaving him alone in the house with the monster, even though he was at the time getting the kids to safety. When it looks like Dean will die, Sam turns to the knowledge they have amassed over the months and tries to find something in ancient lore that can cure Dean, resulting in his taking him to see Roy. Dean is more philosophical about his impending death, although he could just be putting on a brave face for his brother. He reminds Sam that what they do is dangerous, and the chances of one or both of them dying in the course of their work are quite high. He seems oddly prepared to meet death.

Dean later has to face the fact that someone's life was taken to allow him to live. He was not complicit in the decision, of course, knew nothing about it, but even so he feels guilty. Then he has to deal with the extra guilt of preventing Layla from being cured, after she had waited so long. There's no doubting that this episode will have changed him from the happy-go-lucky, smartass wisecracker he was into a more sombre individual, much more aware of his mortality. You can't face Death and not come away a changed person.

1.13 "Route 666"

Allright, alright, so the titles are getting a little cliched. But as I said, season one is a little slow and plodding compared to what comes soon after. Keep the faith, people! This episode introduces us to, of all things, one of Dean's ex-girlfriends. Dean, as we know, is not known for staying with the same girl two nights in a row, yet it seems there is history with this one, because not only does Cassie call the guys in to help her solve a mystery surrounding the death of her father and his business partner, she knows what the brothers do. Dean told her, and when Sam finds out he is incensed: he reminds Dean that he had to lie over and over to Jessica about what the boys got up to, and here Dean is spilling the family secret to some girl he met a few years ago! Dean, however, seems more than taken with the girl and his reunion with her seems to bring up painful memories. For once --- and probably following on from his experience with death --- he's not wisecracking or making fun.

Cassie tells the boys that her father's car looks to have been run off the road, but there is only one set of tracks at the accident. Her father had previously worried about a big black truck that seemed to be following him, but had dismissed the idea. Now, with his business partner in the car dealership they ran together also dead by traffic accident, it's beginning to look a little more than just coincidence. As Cassie already knows (whether she believes or not is another story) about the brothers, they don't have to hide anything from her and can discuss the possibilites in the open, possibilities and theories they would normally have to talk about among themselves, out of earshot of the person involved.

When yet another death occurs, Dean and Sam talk to friends of the deceased, one of whom mentions that there was a story about a bunch of black guys disappearing in a big black truck, back in the sixties, though nothing was ever found. Both Cassie's father and his partner were black, as is the latest victim of these "accidents", and maybe things are beginning to slowly add up. Could someone have a racist agenda or grudge? But why only one set of tyre tracks at each accident scene?

Dean wonders about the possible connections between the victims --- he seems to think that it's more than that they're all black; he thinks they're all connected to Cassie's family, and so far they have been --- and goes to talk to Cassie, and it comes out that Cassie dumped him after he told her what he does for a living, as she thought he was just looking for an excuse not to commit, and she didn't believe him. Dean notes that it didn't seem so crazy once she needed help. One thing leads to another and they end up in bed. Meanwhile, the mayor of the town is run over by the big black truck, and when they hear about it Dean and Sam are mystified. The mayor wasn't black, and the attack didn't take place on the road, like the other three, but on the mayor's property, a building site. Plus, to their knowledge, the mayor has no direct connection to Cassie's family.

Research turns up some facts: the site the mayor was planning to build on used to be the family home of one of the most powerful families in the town, the Dorians, who also ran the paper Cassie works for. The mayor had the home bulldozed to make way for whatever he was planning to build, and on the next day the first killing occurred. Seems that Cyrus Dorian disappeared around the time all those black men went missing, too. Later that night a black truck revs up outside Cassie's house and she calls Dean in a panic. When they get to the house they quiz the mother, who helps reveal the story behind the mystery.

Seems she was dating Cyrus Dorian but seeing the man who became her husband, Martin, on the side. When Dorian found out about it he went mad, and ended up torching the church they were supposed to be married in. A bunch of children practicing for a choir were burned alive. The two men had a face-off where Dorian beat Martin up but he got free and started pounding on Cyrus, eventually killing him. Martin called his two friends (the other two who have now died in the "road accidents") and they helped him dispose of the body. Of course, Cyrus drove a big black truck.

Turns out the mayor knew what Martin and his friends had done, but kept quiet about it as he also knew, or suspected, about Dorian. The brothers decide they need to dredge the swamp and get the truck up so they can burn the body of Cyrus Dorian. However, as soon as they've done so, the ghost truck appears, so it seems they have been less than successful, and must think of a new plan. Dean leads the ghost truck away while telling Sam to burn the wreck. Sam wonders how in the hell he's supposed to do that?

But he has an idea. He talks to Cassie on the phone and gets the exact location of the church Dorian burned down forty years ago. When the truck rushes at Dean it hits the hallowed ground and vapourises.

MUSIC
Joe Walsh and The James Gang: "Walk away"

Blind Faith: "Can't find my way home"

Bad Company: "She brings me love"


QUESTIONS?
None.

The "WTF??!" moment
Not really one in this episode.

PCRs
Again, no.

BROTHERS
We continue to see beneath Dean's tough guy facade, as he comes face-to-face with a woman, perhaps the only woman other than his mother who seems to have truly meant something to him. Sam is amazed that such a woman even exists in Dean's life, but it transpires that they were very close --- marriage is not mentioned, but the relationship looks to have been pretty strong --- to the effect that Dean let down his guard and wanting to be totally honest with Cassie told her about his life hunting demons. Sadly, this seems to have had the opposite effect, and she took it as a sign he was looking for a way out of the relationship.

Sam can now see his brother in a new light. He's not now the one-night-stand, never-settle-down type, and while he'll never be as rooted as Sam is, he has at least now got one woman in his history who matters. There will of course be ribbing about this for some time, but Sam is glad Dean has, or had, someone: just a pity it didn't work out. As the episode closes though, Dean is already putting the events of the past few days behind him, or trying to, as he ignores and rebuffs his brother's gentle poking of fun at him. His ego has to be bruised, as he was the one who was dumped, and surely that has never happened before to him? But more than that, he realises that for the first time ever he let someone in, opened the door and they kicked it shut. It could very well be why he is the way he is now: fool me once...

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Season one

Episode One

We open on a normal house in a suburb of Dublin, the camera pans up to the window as we hear a voice with an American accent explain how to disassemble a Glock automatic pistol. We then see Nidge (though we don't see his face) avidly watching a YouTube video as he takes his Glock apart. Meanwhile Darren Treacy arrives in Dublin Airport, just off the flight from Spain and trying not to look nervous as he passes through Customs. At the same time a key scrapes in a lock and we see his brother, Robbie, being released from prison. He gives the guard the finger as he steps out into the afternoon sunlight, looks around, waits a moment then begins walking. Darren is shown still making his way out of the airport.

Cut to two people in bed. We will quickly learn that the man is Tommie, Darren's friend and a member of Nidge's gang, and the woman he is in bed with is Mary, Darren's sister. Darren, having been away --- and Robbie, having also been away, though in a different sense --- knows nothing of the relationship. What will emerge as being important to both Darren and Robbie is that Tommie is supposed to have been collecting the latter from prison as he's released, but instead he's in bed with the ex-con's sister. We next see Nidge, frustrated at not being able to follow the instructions onscreen, hide his Glock as his girlfriend Trish bangs on the door.

Darren calls Robbie and tells him he's waiting for Tommie to collect him, and Darren says he's on the way to meet him (wondering where the hell Tommie is). Tommie realises that he's forgotten about Robbie and gets a call from Darren, says he's on the way. Meanwhile, Robbie goes to a nearby shop to get credit for his mobile phone but as he comes out of the shop he's shot by a masked gunman. Darren arrives to find his brother dead, no sign of Tommie. When he does turn up he can't say why he was late, as Darren doesn't know, and might not approve, that he was screwing his sister. Darren blames him for Robbie's killing, and Tommie can't deny it. If he had been there when he was supposed to be...

The next morning Darren is arrested. He knew this would happen; he had skipped the country on arms charges, but he gets off on a technicality. When he asks the gang's lawyer how he should sort paying him, he's told it's been sorted. However this now trashes his plans for leaving in two days and returning to Spain, as he had originally intended to. Until the paperwork is complete and the charges dropped totally, he can't leave the country.

Enter John Boy, criminal boss and don to the Dublin gangland, and his psycho brother, Hughie. On the way to Robbie's house they're stopped by the Guards but there's nothing to charge them with. Also at the house we meet Stumpy and Rosie. Darren used to date Rosie and had intended to hook back up with her on arriving back in Dublin, and is upset to see she is with someone else now. Following old Irish tradition the family are having a wake for Robbie at the house, and this is where all the family, and the gang members, gather. Rumours abound as to who killed Robbie, and a name is mentioned --- Jimmy Byrne, who apparently Robbie attacked while inside, and who has skipped town.

At the graveside, Mary tries to confess to Darren about Tommie, but it's unclear if he gets the intimation. Of course, they're both heartbroken so the actual impact of what she's trying to tell him may not be too clear. Back in the pub, a scuffle breaks out between Hughie and Stumpy when the latter takes exception to his off-colour jokes and innuendos about Darren catching up with Rosie. It's obvious the two don't like each other and Stumpy storms off. Meanwhile in one of the cars Darren and Rosie discuss the past, and why he left when he did. It's equally clear the attraction between them is still strong. On the way out though Stumpy comes across the two in the car and you can see he's not happy about her hooking up with her old flame again. He drops into the conversation the fact that Rosie is pregnant, which is news to Darren. The tension in the air as she and Stumpy talk shows that they are far from in love.

John Boy tells Darren about the rumour concerning Jimmy Byrne, but also floats the possibility that Tommie could have been involved. Without knowing the details, it does look a little suspicious that he failed to pick Robbie up from jail, and can offer no real excuse. Tommie is therefore worried when Nidge and Darren invite him to take a trip with them, and go to a forest, where Nidge produces his Glock. However, it turns out they're just looking to test it out, and Tommie is not a suspect, as he thought. However Darren tells him that he knows about Mary, but as long as he doesn't hurt his sister, he doesn't care that he's with her. The trip was though set up deliberately to give Tommie the idea that his number was up. A message has been sent, and received.

QUOTES
Trish: "What are ye doin' in here with the door locked?"
Nidge: "I was updatin' me Bebo page!"

Mary: "Darren said it was a mandatory ten years he could get for it!"
Trish: "For what? Possession?"
Mary: "For having a gun in the house."
Nidge: "Mary, it was a 9mm semi automatic, not a bleedin' rocket launcher he had! Jesus! He'll get ... five. Tops!"
Trish: "Shut up you! You're makin' it worse!"

Trish, as she and Nidge are on the way to the pub after the funeral: "How long do we have to go to this thing for?"
Nidge: "We're staying."
Trish: "It's gonna be depressin', is all."
Nidge: "Well what do you expect? It's not the X Factor, is it?"

Darren: "Which is worse, Tommie? Being late for Robbie, or ridin' my sister?"
Tommie: "Bein' late for Robbie."
Darren: "Yeah. So if I'm not gonna shoot you for that, how do you reckon I'm gonna shoot you for being with Mary?"

QUESTIONS?
At this point, the obvious one: who shot Robbie, and why?

We're not told how long Darren has been away, so is it possible that the baby is his and not Stumpy's?

FAMILY
As in most if not all crime shows, relationships play a huge and important role in "Love/Hate", and none moreso than the family, but sometimes it's hard for those on the outside (or even the inside) to separate the "loving family man" from the cold-blooded killer. In this section I'll be looking at how those who aren't in the gang, or those who are on the periphery, relate to the ones they love, how they reconcile the nefarious deeds they know or suspect their other half perpetrate with the man they know and love.

In this opening episode the most striking and immediate example of this "divided loyalty" is Trish, girlfriend to Nidge. She knows, or has an idea, what sort of things her man gets up to, but is prepared most of the time to turn a blind eye. As long as the safety of her son is not in question. Because make no mistake about it, if it comes down to a straight choice --- Warren or Nidge --- she'll take the safety of her son every time. Even in the opening exchanges we see Nidge is something of a harrassed man, which gets him ribbing from his colleagues, even in his absence. Darren talks to Robbie and asks if Nidge is coming out with them that night, and Robbie grins "if he can get Trish to let go of his nutsack!" They know Nidge loves Trish, and that sort of love has real power, even over a gangster.

Trish refers to the night out, moaning and saying that it's been nice and quiet this past year, leading us to the conclusion that none of the gang (Darren's been away, Robbie in jail) have been up to anything special recently. Or if they have, she doesn't know about it. That's all of course due to change very soon. She also frowns, as would any woman, on her boyfriend's penchant for hookers, something that comes with the territory. She does not, however, forbid him from such pursuits; she knows it happens and is even expected by the gang hierarchy. But she's more concerned about the illegal deeds she hopes he's not about to get back into, as she warns him if he "starts that **** again" she'll throw him out. It is clear though that she knows when she's gone too far. Nidge loves her but he can only be pushed so far.

MIRROR, MIRROR
Although at times the characters here are viewed in a generally favourable light, seen as just ordinary guys, Stuart Carolan, creator of the show, is careful to show us that they are far from ordinary, not at all like you and me. The "guy next door" front is just a facade and beneath this lurks an evil, scheming, heartless and coldly brutal killer. In this section I'll be digging below the surface, tearing aside the masks and forcing these characters to peer deeply into the mirror, to see the terrible reflection they cast.

Nidge, who is shown to be a family man, fond of a drink and a support to Darren when Robbie is killed, shows his other side, his true side, when we see him collecting a debt that's owed. It's twenty-two thousand Euro, a lot of money in anyone's language, but the wife has only been able to muster twenty thousand. She hopes Nidge will take it, but he sneers that she owes two grand more. Where will she get it, she pleads despairingly: the credit union would only give her a maximum of twenty. Nidge shrugs: she'll have to borrow it from someone. It's not his problem how or where she gets the money, just that the debt is paid. As he drives off with the twenty grand, the woman asks him in a faltering voice will he be okay, obviously referring to her husband, or son, whoever owes the debt. Nidge grins nastily: "I don't know. Will he?"

This callous disregard for the financial position of a vulnerable woman shows Nidge up for what he is: a cheap, nasty thug who is happy to allow people to get into debt but has no qualms about putting the screws on them when they can't pay up. It's not like going to the bank: when you owe the gangs, you had better be able to pay or you're going to end up losing something. Maybe a limb, maybe an eye, maybe your life. It's particularly harrowing when the criminal, after having this scary confrontation with the woman, calmly drives back to his loving family and continues his "second" life, as if nothing had happened. The ability of these people to rationalise and compartmentalise their gangland life is nothing short of chilling.

HONOUR AMONG THIEVES?
Here I'll be looking at the widely-held belief, which is a myth, that criminals in gangs look after each other. They don't. Scumbags look after number one, and that's it. There's a wolf pack mentality in that they stick together both to look and be more intimidating to their enemies and because each has dirt they can dish on the other, but generally it's a mutual reliance that provides the glue that holds gangs together. It's also this refusal to stand by one another that will, eventually, lead to the downfall of many of the gang members here.

STUMPY: Although not an actual gang member, Stumpy runs with them and is known to them, but there is no love lost, as is evident when Nidge refuses to let him into the house, slamming the door in his face. Darren too has reason to dislike the man, as he now has the woman he wants to get back together with. Like everyone else, Stumpy will be tolerated for his earning power and his muscle, and for fear of what he knows that can damage the gang, until he either becomes no longer useful or a liability, at which point all bets are off and the pack will show its true colours, turning on him and tearing him to pieces.

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Season 1: "Three million years from Earth..."

1.5 "Confidence and Paranoia"

Holly's joke: We have been travelling through the galaxy now for three million years and there are many things we've discovered. The highest form of life in the universe is Man and the lowest is a man who works for the Post Office.

After having visited the officers' block on the ship, which he had thought decontaminated but which Rimmer had left on the long finger, Lister develops a mutated form of pneumonia, which results in his fever-induced hallucinations taking physical shape and form. Rimmer accuses him of having gone to the officers' quarters in order to sit in Kochanski's quarters and wallow in self-pity. Lister wakes in the night feeling terrible, and goes down to the medical unit. On the way there however he collapses and is found by the Cat, who is no help to him at all, totally self-centred as ever. Rimmer comes by, having found Lister, and tries to get the Cat to help him, as being a hologram Rimmer can lift nothing. The Cat, however, shallow and self-serving as always, is more interested in his lunch, and so it is left up to Rimmer and the scutters --- the little manual robots that look after menial tasks onboard the huge ship --- to look after Lister.

Lister bemoans the fact that he never had the guts to ask Kochanski out, and Rimmer declares that if she had accepted, then the only things stranger than that occurrence, in his opinion, would be the spontaneous combustion of the Mayor of Warsaw in 1546, and the time in 12th century Burgundy when it rained herring. Lister tells Rimmer of a theory he and Chen had, that everyone has two people inside them: the person that tells us we are great, and gives us our confidence (and so they called this facet of personality Confidence), and the person that puts us down and tells us we are useless, holds us back and is known as Paranoia.

That night, sleeping after his treatment in the medical unit, Lister dreams of fish falling from the sky, having listened to what Rimmer had been saying earlier, but the dream becomes real, and it does rain fish in their sleeping quarters! A moment later, the Mayor of Warsaw appears and then spontaneously combusts! To complete the list of hallucinations which have become solid, two figures have materialised in the drive room; these are Lister's Confidence and his Paranoia...

As expected, Confidence builds Lister up from the moment he arrives, and tells him he can do anything. Indeed, with the hallucination's help, Lister divines Rimmer's hiding-place for the rest of the personality disks of the crew, and prepares to retrieve them from outside of the ship so that he can bring back Chrissie Kochanski as a hologram. In opposition to Confidence, Paranoia brings Lister down, telling him he is useless, and that he should listen to Rimmer (which wins him a measure of kinship from the hologram), but Lister goes off, not surprisingly, with Confidence. They can't go outside the ship yet, because there is a magnetic storm in progress, but as soon as it passes, they are ready to make the trip outside.

Meanwhile, Rimmer tries to get rid of Paranoia, but his plan fails. The dust storm passes, and Lister and his Confidence go out in spacesuits to retrieve the disks. Rimmer notices however as they leave that the medicom has been wrecked, and challenges Lister to explain that. He can't, and Rimmer points out that both Lister's Confidence and his Paranoia have a vested interest in ensuring that Lister does not get better, as they are both symptoms of his sickness, and once he recovers they will both disappear. Lister is unconvinced however, and out they go.

Outside Red Dwarf, Confidence admits that he has killed Paranoia, but when Lister makes to go back inside, Confidence says he should take his helmet off; "Oxygen is for losers!" He goes to prove it by removing his own helmet, and the inevitable happens. With both his Confidence and his Paranoia gone, Lister is cured and now has the disk back. He is warned by Rimmer that the disk will only bring him misery, but he ignores his bunkmate, which as it turns out is unfortunate, as Rimmer has swapped the disks, and what Lister brings back is not Kochanski but ... another Rimmer!!

Note: this is the first of what could be called a two-parter in this series. Every other episode up to now has just ended, with little or no reference to what happened in the next one, but "Me2" (me squared) follows on directly from this, carrying through the consequences of Lister's ignoring Rimmer's warning, and indeed brings to a close the first season.

The idea of Confidence and Paranoia is a great one, and just one of many clever and innovative ideas Grant and Naylor will come up with over the course of the coming seasons, with some theories and plots which would not be out of place in a normal sci-fi drama --- minus the laughs, of course!

Best lines/quotes/scenes

Holly is bored. He's read everything that's ever been written anywhere, on any subject, and come to the conclusion that the worst book in the history of man is "Football: it's a funny old game" by Kevin Keegan.

HOLLY: "I'm at a loose end now. I don't know what to do with meself."
LISTER: "Holly, why don't you just read everything all over again."
HOLLY: "I was thinking it might help pass the time if I created a perfectly functioning replica of a woman, capable of independent decision-making and abstract thought and absolutely undetectable from the real thing."
LISTER: (Sitting up eagerly) "Well why don't you, then?"
HOLLY: "Because I don't know how. I wouldn't even know how to make the nose. Heh."
LISTER: "Holly, is there something that you want?"
HOLLY: "Well, only if you're not busy. Would you mind erasing some of my memory banks?"
LISTER: "What for?"
HOLLY: "Well, if you erase all the Agatha Christie novels from my memory bank, I can read 'em again tonight."
LISTER: "How do I do it?"
HOLLY: "Just type, HolMem. Password override. The novels Christie, Agatha. Then press erase."
LISTER jabs two-fingered on a keyboard. "I've done it."
HOLLY: "Done what?"
LISTER: "Erased Agatha Christie."
HOLLY: "Who's she, then?"
LISTER: "Holly, you just asked me to erase all Agatha Christie novels from your memory!"
HOLLY: "Why should I do that? I've never heard of her."
LISTER: "You've never heard of her because I've just erased her from your smegging memory!"
HOLLY: "What'd you do that for?"
LISTER: "You asked me to!"
HOLLY: "When?"
LISTER: "Just now!"
HOLLY: "I don't remember this."
LISTER: "Oh, I'm going to bed. This is gonna go on all night!"

Rimmer's to-do list, sadly not quite properly prioritised...

Rimmer: "Ah! Had a good day, Lister? Scrummed enough choccies? Watched enough drivel, have you? Look at you: you're turning into a sad, middle-aged woman. Next thing you know you'll be varnishing your nails and buying girdles."
LISTER: "Oh yeah? And what've you done that's so great?"
RIMMER: "I've achieved seventeen things today off my daily goal list, whereas you've never achieved anything ever in your entire life."
LISTER: "Don't know, you know. I went to the Officer's Block."
RIMMER: "When?!"
LISTER: "This morning."
RIMMER: "But it hasn't been decontaminated!"
LISTER: "You said it had last week!"
RIMMER: "No, I said it was on last Thursday's daily goal list!"
LISTER: "And you haven't done it yet?!"
RIMMER: "Tomorrow. It's on tomorrow's daily goal list. Item 34, right after "Learn Portugese."

The Cat finds a sick Lister crumpled on the ground:

CAT: "Hey, this is mine. That's mine. All this is mine. I'm claiming all this as mine. Except that bit. I don't want that bit. But all the rest of this is mine. Hey, this has been a good day. I've eaten five times, I've slept six times, and I've made a lot of things mine. Tomorrow, I'm gonna see if I can't have sex with something! (Dancing away) "Oooooooooow, yeaaaaaaah..."

(Coming across Lister's prone body)

CAT: (Singing) "S-E-X, you know I want it! S-E-X, I'm gonna get it! (Seeing Lister) S-E-X, I think I found it!" (Recognizes Lister and crouches down beside him.) "Oh, it's you! Hey, monkey, you're sick. Sick, helpless, and unconscious. If you weren't my friend, I'd steal your shoes! Time for a snack. This way!" (Dances away.)

On discovering Lister is unconscious, Rimmer tries to get the Cat to help, as being a hologram he can't pick him up. The Cat though, is not budging. Hey, he's eatin'!

RIMMER: "Is there something wrong with you? Lister's collapsed!"
CAT: "Yeah?"
RIMMER: "What do you mean "yeah?" He needs help!"
CAT: "And?"
RIMMER: "And if you don't help him he might die."
CAT: "Aw, no. That's too bad. I really liked him, too."
RIMMER: "So, come and help him."
CAT: "What? And interrupt my lunch?!"
RIMMER: "What is more important: a man's life or your smegging lunch?"
CAT: "That doesn't even deserve an answer."

Rimmer tries to cover up the fact that he's been trying to get rid of Paranoia, one half of Lister's delusional hallucination:

RIMMER: (Shouting to the scutter, who is armed with a syringe) "NOW! STAB HIM! STAB HIM! STAB HIM! QUICK! STAB HIM!"

PARANOIA turns to look at the scutter which has hardly moved.

RIMMER: (To PARANOIA) "Uh, you haven't met "Stabem," have you? He's one of the scutters. Stabem, meet Lister's paranoia. Lister's paranoia, this is Stabem."

Lister susses out where Rimmer has hidden the personality discs (with a little help from his Confidence):

CONFIDENCE: "Come on, King, you know Rimmer. Where would he hide 'em?"
LISTER: "I don't know."
CONFIDENCE: "Yes, you do."
PARANOIA: "No, he doesn't."
CONFIDENCE: "Come on! Think : winner!"
LISTER: "Outside. Outside the ship."
RIMMER: "Uh... Wrong, actually!"
CONFIDENCE: "Where outside?"
LISTER: "Well, he'd have to send the scutters... and the disks would have to be safe...."
RIMMER: "Wrong, wrong, absolutely brimming over with wrong-ability."
LISTER: "And they'd have to be right under me nose he could laugh at me."
RIMMER: "Wrong and getting wronger all the time."
LISTER: "Outside out sleeping quarters. The solar panel outside our sleeping quarters!"
RIMMER: "You followed me, you goit!"
LISTER: "Is that where they are?! That's incredible! I did it!"

Rimmer tries to be cool...

RIMMER: "Holly, put a trace on Paranoia."
HOLLY: "What's a trace?"
RIMMER: "It's space jargon. It means find him."
HOLLY: "No, it doesn't. You just made it up to be cool."

As Dave switches on the hologram generation unit, the awful truth is revealed..

On the other side of the room, another hologram of Rimmer appears.

RIMMER #2: "Well, he did warn you!"
RIMMER: "I certainly did." (To LISTER) "Do you honestly think I'd put Kochanski's disk in Kochanski's box where any Munchkin could find it? You think you had it bad before, Lister? Well now you've got it in stereo, baby!" (To RIMMER #2) "Welcome aboard, Rimmsie!"
RIMMER #2: "Nice to be here, Mr. Rimmer, you son of a gun."

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1.2 "Looking after our own"

We open on what looks at first like a high-tech, well-funded bunch of burgulars, but turns out in fact to be Danny with an MI5 team who are attempting to bug the house of an unknown target. However it becomes clear the guy has serious tech installed and they have to abandon the mission, resetting everything they changed and leaving without a trace. We soon learn the house was that of Robert Osbourne, a right-wing racist leader who is planning a race war, in conjunction with an independent MP called Bill Watson. Harry's team plan to infiltrate the organisation by having one of them befriend Osbourne's wife, Claire, whom he is beating. This person is called "the runner", in that one would assume, they run the target and try to make them give up information that may help bring the man to justice.

Osbourne and Watson have a meeting in Osbourne's house, where it's quickly obvious that his small child is not safe from the extremist's quick temper; bruises on his wife's face already attest that she is no stranger to being hit. The two men discuss the disaffection in British society, the simmering anger against immigrants and foreigners, minorities and other cultures, and how best they can exploit that to their mutual advantage. Tom meanwhile is incensed when Tessa seconds Zoe to her own team, to shadow a Customs and Excise human trafficking operation, leaving him one person --- one very important person --- short on his team.

Word comes to the Grid that the runner has been involved in a traffic accident, and without her to keep Claire occupied it looks as if Osbourne's wife may leave him, taking with her their best chance of getting to the racist. Left with no other option, Tom has to take over the infiltration himself, and the only way he can do that is to take over the running of the computer classes Clare had been taking. The problem is that the course is run by a husband and wife team, so Tom is going to need "a wife". With Zoe, who would of course have been his first choice, unavailable to him, he is forced to recruit Helen, who is really little more than a clerical officer and not happy with her lot. She has however taken all the required courses and so is qualified, even if she has not been "in the field" before. She is of course delighted to get the chance of some proper action, and determined to show what she can do.

Tom's personal world is beginning to move onto a collision course with his work life, and his girlfriend is getting tired of his constant disappearances and weak excuses, his late-night and early-morning exits, and the amount of "emergencies" he seems to be called in to sort out at "work". Now, as he needs to be out of circulation for a few weeks, he calls her to tell her he has to unexpectedly go to the USA and Japan. She is, not to put too fine a point on it, unimpressed and hangs up on him. At the computer class the liaison with Claire is going well, and cemented more when they stage a robbery and Tom "rescues" her, retrieving her handbag. Having gained her confidence, they are then invited to dinner where they meet the infamous Obsourne. Not surprisingly, he holds forth on his racist views, gets drunk and they leave to the sounds of Claire getting another beating.

Meanwhile it turns out the third person in Osbourne's entourage is not who he seems. Nick Thomas, who is pretending to be sympathetic to the racist views and agenda the bigot is spouting is in fact a freelance journalist called Kieran Thomas. Osbourne already suspects he is not who he says he is, and now that MI5 have tumbled him they realise his life may be in danger. They signal the team to advise them something is up that could blow the operation up in their faces if not dealt with swiftly.They rather fortuitously run across him when he comes canvassing to their house, and tell him they know who he is and he must hand over all the evidence he has gathered. He tells them that Osbourne has been paying off local thugs and driving them to immigration centres and asylums, thus sparking off riots while Bill Watson then uses the political blowback to further his platform of nationalism.

With no other option now Tom and Helen reveal who they are and try to recruit Claire into helping them. In return they'll pay her, money which will help get her free of her abusive husband. Meanwhile Thomas, the journalist, is rumbled by Osbourne. Under presumably torture, he gives up Tom and Helen, who are taken captive by the right-wingers. When Tom fails to check in as arranged suspicions are aroused back at The Grid. During the Customs human trafficking operation, Zoe notices that Osbourne is pictured at a meeting with some of the top-level smugglers, and passes the information on to Harry, who wonders what a right-wing racist is doing helping to get illegal immigrants into the country? Isn't his whole ethos based on getting those who are here out and not letting any more in?

As Osbourne attempts to find out how much MI5 know about him and his organisation, Zoe is recalled to lead the team to try to rescue them. Osbourne tells Tom that he is facilitating the influx of refugees and asylum seekers in order to choke the system and bring the resentment to fever pitch. However, Helen is tortured when Tom plays dumb, first by having her arm pushed into a searingly hot deep-fat fryer, and then her head. In agonising pain for a few seconds, she is shot in the head by Osbourne's henchman. Claire, shocked at the brutal torture and killing of the young woman, and seeing her husband for what he truly is, a cold, callous psychopath, engineers a diversion just as Tom is being set up for the same fate. Throwing a cigarette she's been smoking into the burner it ignites the fat and Tom is able to escape. He calls in and a rescue team homes in on him.

Tom is all for sending in the SAS and taking the whole organisation out, but "higher-ups" in Government circles believe they can use Osbourne and his agenda to allow them to take a tougher stance on immigration --- which is, coldly ironically, more or less what Osbourne wants, although he's far more militant and literal about the way he goes about it --- and Harry is told he can do nothing. Going ahead anyway, he arranges for Osbourne to be assassinated. Claire and her child are given tickets out of the country, and photographs of the dead refugees, who were being smuggled in as part of Osbourne's plan and who were thrown overboard by the traffickers once they realised Customs were on to them, are sent to Bill Watson, with the intimation that they have also been sent to the newspapers, and his career is about to come to an ignominous end, quite possibly in prison.

Quotes
Sometimes there are quotes that don't easily fit into any of the individual sections here, but are still worthy of repetition. In those cases I'll just put them in here on their own. This first one is particularly ironic, given what happens later.

Helen, on her disillusion with the glamour of her job:
"Join MI5! Multiple opportunities for advancement, they said! Protect national security, they said!"
Tessa, bringing over some photocopies and putting them on her desk: "Double sided, if you don't mind. And it's "Eyes Alpha", so try not to look at the interesting bits."

The mind of a terrorist

Watson, smugly: "Having recently warned the House about rising racial tensions in Bristol, I'm starting to earn the nickname of Nostradamus! I'm coming across like a prophet!"
Later, Osbourne says to him as he leaves "Nobody ever blamed Nostradamus when the bad news arrived. Remember that."

Osbourne talks about people not being ready to stand up for their race:
"You know why there's never been a revolution in this country? John Wesley. He was a Methodist, went around preaching; had everyone sitting on their hands in church while everyone in France was going nuts. Most people don't do anything in this country on principle, and most people don't kick up a stink unless a) they're told to or b) it's in their faces and it hurts them. It's in their faces now. It's hurting. You know, this time last year nobody knew what a muslim was, now everyone's looking at people in the street --- where's he from? What's he doing? They're starting to notice things they never noticed before: asylum seekers clogging up the hospitals. Shop assistants who can't speak English. Black media corrupting our children. We have a window right now, a great big window just opened. People are starting to realise --- they won't do anything until they're told --- they're Britihs. Everyone's crying out for a voice of reason, someone to make them realise that they're not alone, they're not on the extreme; that they are the majority, that it's their country and it's all right to get angry!"

Osbourne embarrrasses his wife in front of his friends:
"That top doesn't do 'em justice. Five grand each they cost me. Man buys a tit job for his wife, least she can do is show them off to his mates. Come on! Undo your top!" (After she hesitantly and very shamefully obeys him) "Lovely! My beautiful wife."

Harry's World
As they make arrangements to replace the runner, Harry asks Tom "The couple who run the computer classes: are they removable?" Seeing Tom's look he clarifies with a slight grin "In a nice way." The obvious inferrence here being that MI5 are not above "removing" or "replacing" people if it suits their purposes, and on occasion this may involve more, shall we say, permanent measures? Harry wants to make it clear to his subordinate that this is not one of those times!

He talks to Tom about why Tom didn't tell him about his love interest so that she could be vetted in the normal way. Tom replies testily: "I just wanted to keep it simple." Harry nods.
"Always a mistake, in my experience."

Harry, as he watches the government man, Derek Morris, leave, having been ordered to stay away from Osbourne until advised, and thumbs his mobile phone: "**** you Derek, with knobs on!"

Big Brother is watching!
In the shopping centre as they shadow Claire, a setup robbery is arranged. The security guard nods to Tom as he walks in --- he's a spook. So is the guy who grabs Claire's handbag.

When Osbourne's agents call to check on the previous address of the Wilkes', the identity under which Helen and Tom are posing, there's an old lady there. She tells the man they couple moved, supporting the story they had given Osbourne. When he's gone, she gets on the phone, revealing herself to be, yes you guessed it, another spook!

The shopkeeper from whom Tom buys "History Today" is yet another operative.

Signs and Signals
Much of the work of MI5 is done without words. Messages are passed in code certainly, but there are other, less obvious or trackable signs that can speak volumes to those who can interpret them. In this section I'll note any that relate to this episode, and later, if they reoccur in other episodes or are referred back to.

"There's a van with a cat in it".
When Helen looks out the window she sees a van which has dangling from the front visor a small Garfield figure. She knows this is a silent signal from Thames House.

"History Today"
In response to the cat signal (no, not the bat signal!) Tom goes to a particular newsagents and asks for the magazine "History Today". Inside the magazine, among the "junk mail" you find in every one of these --- ads for Dell, book clubs, tickets that tell you you've definitely won a prize (though it's probably a pencil and NOT the Caribbean cruise!) --- he finds one which he reverses and rubs a felt-tip pen over, revealing a hidden message that warns him about the undercover journalist. The exchange between he and the shopkeeper --- "History Today?" "Only just come in" --- are probably also failsafe codewords in case the wrong person walks in and happens to ask for the magazine. In the world of MI5, even the smallest things can be keywords or clues.

The "Need to know"
When they confront Kieran Thomas and let him know --- sort of --- who they are, Tom and Helen demand that he turn over all the evidence he has gathered to them, including copies, but he is not having it. He says "I'm done now. I'm off tonight, editing for the next few months." Tom chillingly asks him "What makes you think you'll have anything to edit when you get home, exactly?"
The implication is clear, but vague at the same time. Tom is obviously letting the journalist know that he has the power to shut him down, have him fired, reassigned or even killed if necessary. It's also quite possible that the threat alludes to the destruction or removal of his computer and files from his house, office, or wherever he has them. What is clear though is that, in a situation like this, where national security is threatened and mass riots on the horizon if they don't stop this lunatic, MI5 will do anything, stop at nothing, to ensure nothing compromises their operation. One man and his perhaps misguided quest for fame and notoriety will not stand in their way.

Rivalries
Again, the relationship between MI5 and the main Government is shown here, in the endgame, as Derek Morris, another essentially faceless government man, sets out the scenario as he sees it, with the cold calculating eye of the politician and the dark logic of the bureaucrat:
"Two people have died and Osbourne's on the rampage. I say good, in a manner of speaking."
Tom: "He killed one of our own! We can stop him today!"
Morris: "Whoever said anything about stopping him? Now we know what he's up to, in spite of the cock-up (this with a sidewise glance at Harry) I'm chuffed to say he's tainting the Right with every single action he takes, and pushing the Right further right and the Left towards the central reservation. Meanwhile these reception centres are a living nightmare, and suddenly a government position on immigration is possible that was practically unthinkable two years ago. Despite the fact that most of the cabinet were gagging for it. Now we can enter a new bill, that brings the shutters down on undesirables. And make it look like we're practically Socialists, for God's sake. All thanks to you. Pardon me for being party political."
Tom: "You're not going to let us touch him, are you?"
Morris: "Now, I didn't say that. And only until the bill's been passed, obviously. Then you can get Special Forces to do your dirty work, as per the hymnsheet. We're not total cynics." (Tom walks out in disgust) "Oh dear."
Harry: "You're a little ****e, Derek. Have I ever told you that?"

The Shock Factor
If a show ever delivered twists and shock endings, scenarios and outcomes that would not have been expected or even dreamed of, particularly in a British TV drama, Spooks cornered the market. Nobody was safe, even major characters, and anything that could happen often did, leaving us as viewers feeling a lot more deeply invested in the characters, knowing anyone could die at any time, and it also made the dangerous scenes that much more, well, dangerous. There was never such a thing as "Oh he/she can't die" --- everyone was fair game. But it wasn't just deaths that provided the shock factor in this series, and here I'll be looking into what was basically the "WTF moment" in Spooks, each episode that has one.

Helen's torture and death

Admittedly, we're only into episode two and have not had time to get to know Helen, but her character has been deliberately built up, especially in this episode, to make us get to know and like her. Her innocence and enthusiasm is refreshing, and even up to the point her arm comes out of the fryer we think Tom will do something now. It's been a horrible ordeal but she'll survive. It's therefore a massive shock when he still sticks to his guns and her head is forced under the oil, not even killing her but obviously leaving her in almost unimaginable pain. We've all had deep fat fryers and chip pans spit oil at us from time to time, and we know how sore it is. Now multiply that by a million! When Osbourne's lieutenant shoots her it's almost a mercy.

But this sudden, unexpected and violent death prompted enough complaints to the TV regulator that this episode provoked the most irate phone calls for the year 2002. Of course, that did the ratings no harm.

Helen was originally only supposed to feature in Episode 2, but then the producer of the show decided to introduce her in the opening episode, get a name actress to play her (Lisa Faulkner) AND include her on all the promotional material for the series leading people to believe she would be in the whole series.

You have to say it was a genius decision because the sudden way she's tortured and disposed of so easily it makes it one of the most shocking moments on British TV of the last 15 years.

There's no way it would have had that much impact had she just appeared in one episode as a guest artist.

It was definitely a clever and courageous idea. It shocked the hell out of me the first time I saw it, and even now, watching it again for this piece, I still got a bit of a shiver. Spooks ended up doing stuff like that, as I said in the notes: nobody was safe. I mean they and the character/cast list really seemed to change for each season. Talk about "24"? Had nothing on Spooks.

I only got into watching it pretty late. I had always seen the programme title on my EPG and laughed because one of my (now sadly passed away) cats was named Spook. But I never bothered to watch it until years later. Once I got season one finished I couldn't wait to get through the next five or six, then I kind of dropped it at season seven I think and only recently watched eight and nine. I've still to see the final one, expecting some big shocks in that.

I thought the way they handled Helen's character was great. She was shown as being very dissatisfied with her role in MI5 (basically a glorified typist) and looking for adventure. When you see what she ended up going through before she died, you'd have to feel she would have been better where she was. The way the others handled her death too is I think indicative of the human nature of Spooks: people die, but they're not just forgotten about. You see the funerals, the aftermaths, the effect it has on their colleagues. I always think it's sad that, when for instance

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...title_card.jpg

1.1 "Happiness is a warm gun"

Alan B'Stard wins a landslide victory at the local election due to his ensuring the other two candidates are unable to campaign, putting them both in hospital when he arranges to have the brake lines of their cars cut and the two crash into each other. However the Chief Constable, Sir Malachy Jericho, knows what he has done and tells him that unless he works for him within Parliament he will expose him. He tells B'Stard he wants a bill passed in the House to allow police to carry firearms, and the young Tory is going to help him get it through. B'Stard's bill passes, despite opposition from Labour, in particular his nemesis, Bob Crippen, and the chief constable is delighted. Not only that, but being successful in getting such a major bill passed when only a few months in his seat raises B'Stard's profile, and he is now a rising star of the Right.

Meanwhile Sarah, his wife, is having a lesbian affair with his PR agent, Beatrice Protheroe. Alan doesn't know about it but probably wouldn't care as he hates his wife anyway, and he soon has other things to worry about, as the local bishop, who also sits in the House of Lords, preaches against his bill, saying he will vote against it and will try to convince his fellow Lords to do likewise. Despite this, Alan's bill does pass and his accountant, Norman Bormann, shows him some cheap revolvers he has secured a contract for, at a tenner a go! When B'Stard remarks that they feel a little light (not to mention that they're cheap!) Norman admits they're actually made from recycled frying pans, and will most likely blow up in the face of anyone who tries to use them. B'Stard says that's ok: they're for deterring, not firing!

Norman then demands money from B'Stard before he will reveal the name of the supplier; he wants to assume a new identity by having a sex-change, and intends B'Stard to finance it. B'Stard goes to visit his old friend Sidney Bliss, an ex-hangman who constantly moans that the world is a worse place since they abolished "the rope". It's his pub, "The Hangman's Knot Inn", that Sir Malachy frequents, and here B'Stard meets with the Chief Constable .... and his friend. It seems Sir Malachy believes that God is sitting beside him, and has indeed ordered him a pint of bitter. When the chief refuses to hand over the dossier he is holding over B'Stard, proving his complicity in the hospitalisation of his two rivals, saying that B'Stard can still be useful to him in Parliament, the Tory convinces him that the Bishop of Haltemprice is in fact the Antichrist, and Sir Malachy hands over the file to B'Stard, then sets off to confront the bishop. Meanwhile, Alan makes a call to the station...

When the chief constable pulls his gun on the bishop he is quickly arrested thanks to B'Stard's "tip off", and now he has the previously deputy chief constable in his pocket. On his recommendation, the police force places their order for pistols with him, so that when he is pursued by a squad car for speeding, the gun blows up in the cop's hand and B'Stard escapes, grinning all the way to the bank.

Quotes
In a show as sharply satirical and comedic as this, there are bound to be some choice quotes. Though of course I won't be noting them all, here are some of the better ones in this episode.
SDP Candidate: "Vote SDP. Vote for me because ---" (To aide) "why should they vote for me?"
Aide: "Because you're decisive!"
SDP Candidate: "Oh right! Vote for me because I'm more decisive!" (To aide) "Should I turn left or right at the bottom of the hill?"

Meanwhile, the candidate for Labour, coming up the hill and around the corner from the SDP campaign car has a simpler message: "Vote Labour. Vote Labour. Oh please!"

As B'Stard awaits the expected announcement of his victory, the returning officer reads the ballots:
"Aslon, William Richard" (voiceover) Labour, Intensive Care --- 3,237
"Roper, Martin Cyril" (voiceover) SDP, Critical --- 1,265
"Sutch, Screaming Lord" (Voiceover) Monster Raving Loony --- 5,019
"B'Stard, Alan Beresford" (Voiceover) Conservative --- 31,756. And I therefore declare that Alan Beresford B'Stard is returned as Member of Parliament for the constituency of Haltemprice."

B'Stard goes to take up his new position in the House but is stopped by a security guard.
Guard: "I'm sorry Sir, members only."
B'Stard: "I am a member! I've got the largest majority in the House!"
Guard: "Name?"
B'Stard: "B'Stard!"
Guard (shaking head and walking away): "Only doing my job, Sir..."

Sir Malachy takes out a Smith and Wesson from his bag, says "What do you think of this?"
B'Stard says "Very pretty" but the chief constable frowns. "Wasn't talking to you!" and turns to the empty seat to his left, where he believes God is sitting....

B'Stard tells Sir Malachy that the Bishop is the Antichrist: "Don't you remember his sermon? I respect atheists, and idolators, and, um, cannibals, he said. And he opposed the Gun Law, which we all know was God's will. And, last Christmas, while you were away on ... pilgrimage duty ... he preached that not only was Mary not a virgin, but technically, a surrogate mother."
Sir Malachy: "He never did!"
B'Stard: "Cross my heart. In fact, not only is the Bishop of Haltemprice almost certainly an unbeliever, I suspect he is the secret leader of all who oppose the will of God."
Sir Malachy: "You don't mean..."
B'Stard: "The Antichrist!"

Deputy Chief Constable Ginsberg: "He (Sir Malachy) should never have passed his probationary period. He was hearing voices ten years before the introduction of personal radios!"

Cop 1: "Blimey! What's it say on the radar?"
Cop 2: "Made in Taiwan."

MACHINATIONS
Of course there will be many of these down through the four seasons, some small, some much larger, many impacting not only on the country but on Europe, possibly the world. B'Stard is never averse to using people, and many of his plans come from this very practice. Here I'll be looking at some of his dastardly --- and some not so dastardly, but still cunning and sharp --- plots.

Sir Stephen's Speech
Unable to get the creative juices flowing while he's trying to write his own speech, B'Stard listens in boredom to Sir Stephen's notes, which run thus: "For a century and a half, the British bobby has patrolled his beat on his trusty bicycle, armed only with his truncheon, his whistle, and his considerable courage." When Alan snaps "Old hat!" at him, he considers, says "Oh, do you really think so? Very well then: his truncheon, his whistle, and his old hat."
Though B'Stard jeers the speech he decides in the end to steal it, and uses it in the House (inclusive of the old hat line) so that when Sir Stephen --- who is not present when B'Stard makes his speech, having been looking for his notes, and only comes in later --- reads his out, he is booed and laughed at, everyone thinking he has stolen the younger MP's speech.

SIDEKICK
http://www.trollheart.com/piers.png
If B'Stard is the harsh, cruel, greedy and uncaring face of Thatcherism, Piers Fletcher Dervish is the opposite. Kind, courteous and gentle, he's the perfect foil for Alan and is constantly bossed about, used and abused by the man. In this section I'll be examining the relationship between the two, and how it develops over the course of the series.

The first indication we have of how little B'Stard thinks of Piers is when we first meet him, and Alan is reading him his speech which will preface his attempt to pass a law through the House of Commons authorising the police to carry weapons. When Piers tells him the speech is "Awfully good", he smiles, "You like it? Must be rubbish then!" and promptly trashes it. Then when he's spoken to his wife on the phone, making lovey cooey noises at her, he slams it down and claps his hands together. "Right! I'm off to Stringfellows to commit adultery!" he announces. Piers, excited, asks "Can I come Alan?" to which Alan with a withering look at him sneers "I have no idea, Piers!"

WHAT IS LOVE?
In this section I'll be taking a look at not only B'Stard's relationship with his wife, but any others he has with other women (not one-night stands or flings, but the odd one that might actually mean something to him) as well as how other characters in the series see and deal with love and relationships.

SARAH
http://www.trollheart.com/sarah.png
Obviously front and centre in B'Stard's life is his wife Sarah. It becomes clear from the first episode that the only reason he married her is that she has a lineage traceable back to royalty, and that her father controls the local Conservative party, and has the power to oust Alan from his seat if he should so desire. Her affair with Beatrice Protheroe, and her many other dalliances and sexual adventures as the series unfolds, show the level of trust and admiration and respect she has for her husband, less than a dried-up river. However she does realise that at times she needs to be seen "by her husband's side", as when he wins election, and she knows how to play the dutiful wife in public, when it suits her or their shared ambition.

THE USER AND THE USED
Apart from Piers, there are a myriad other people Alan uses to achieve his ends, including as above his wife, but in this section I'll be mostly concentrating on people other than those two. Whether it's an agent, typist, driver, political colleague or even a cabinet minister, B'Stard will manipulate, blackmail, threaten, blacken the name of and terrorise anyone to get what he wants.

NORMAN/NORMA BORMANN
B'Stard's accountant and financial adviser for the first season, Bormann is another facet of Alan, prepared to lie, cheat and steal to make himself rich. The authorities have caught up with him though and when B'Stard goes to meet him he is using an old disused railway carriage in the middle of nowhere as his office. Alan's contempt for the man is evident when Norman starts telling him his problems and Alan responds with "Does it affect me? No? Then it's not important, is it?" When he hands over two grand to him and asks what it's for, Norman tells him he's decided to kill himself. Reaching to take his money back, B'Stard smiles "You don't need two grand for that! Jump off something!"

SIR MALACHY
Although only in this episode, B'Stard turns the tables on the chief constable. At first, Sir Malachy has him bang to rights, and with his intelligence on how B'Stard orchestrated the crash of the cars of his two rivals before the election, he is able to blackmail B'Stard into getting his gun law passed. When he refuses to hand over the dossier, however, and Alan sees he is going to end up being used by the man to further his insane neo-Christian agenda --- "What about a bill to criminalise atheism?" --- he takes steps, using the copper's own fanaticism and borderline lunacy to trick him into attacking the Bishop of Haltemprice, thus getting him arrested and removed, no longer a threat.

As a side-result of that, although it's not confirmed it is possible that the bishop may have been so shaken by the events that he might retire and so remove any further impediment to future bills Alan wants to pass through. At the very least, it's a cruel and sadistic way to punish the man who was on the verge of thwarting the passing of his gun law. You don't mess with B'Stard...

DEPUTY (soon to be CHIEF) CONSTABLE GINSBERG
As the one who alerted the police to Sir Malachy's intentions, as well as pointing out to him that as Deputy to Sir Malachy he now stands to take over the senior position, B'Stard is asked by Ginsberg if there is anything he can do for him, and uses him to arrange the order of the defective guns. He couldn't care less that they'll most likely kill someone if fired: he's all about the profits.

PCRs
Oh yeah, they're here too. Well, what would you expect in a political satire? In case for some reason you haven't been reading my "Supernatural" writeups, PCR stands for Pop Culture References, and where they're used here I'll explain them.

"An Archer" --- When asked how much money he wants from Alan to pay for his sex-change operation, Norman replies "An Archer!" B'Stard, shocked, retorts with "A whole Jeffrey! But that's two thousand pounds!" This refers to politician and writer Jeffrey Archer paying a call girl two grand to leave the country, leading to his resignation from the Tory Party in 1986.

"Dennis Waterman" --- As the speed cops watch B'Stard fly by in his Bentley, one asks the other "Who's that? Dennis Waterman?" Famous as a hardcase actor in cop show "The Sweeney" and in the show "Minder".

"Hill Street Blues" --- B'stard quotes the second Duty Sergeant's not-so-immortal-as-the-original line, "Let's do it to them before they do it to us" From the popular 80s cop show of the same name of course.

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Season One: "Signs and portents" (Part six)
1.11 "TKO"
Why? Where is the unwritten rule that says that no matter the genre, no matter the show, no matter how implausible such a scenario may be, every drama series ever has to have an episode about boxing? Or baseball. But mostly boxing? I mean, I've seen in in cop shows. I've seen it in comedy shows. I've seen it in horror shows. Fantasy shows. Spy shows. And here it is, cropping up once again, this time in a sci-fi show, if not the sci-fi show. And yes, it's as bad as you would expect. Completely banal, trite, preachy and pointless. "Rocky" in space. God damn it.

The only thing that saves "TKO" is that there is a very deep and well-written subplot concerning Ivanova, but the main plot, Christ, a two-year old could have written it and it could have been transplanted from any martial arts, cop or action series or movie. And of course you know how it's going to end. Quite unlike JMS's usual view --- that the good guys don't always win --- here they do, and everybody Lives Happily Ever After. It's just pathetic really.

But anyway. A friend of Garibaldi's arrives on the station looking to take part in the Mutai, a brutal alien sport which is kind of a mixture of boxing, judo, kick-boxing and ultimate fighting. Garibaldi is shocked, saying no human has ever entered --- never mind survived --- the contest, and calls it "a meat grinder". His pal, Walker Smith, is desperate to redeem himself back on Earth. He was a boxer of note, set for the big time but refused to throw an important fight and so was set up. Drugs were found in his locker and he was banned from the sport, his name dragged through the mud. The Mutai is his big chance to vindicate himself and restart his career.

Yawn! Sorry, it's just so pedestrian and predictable.

So to the subplot. As we saw in "Born to the purple", Ivanova's father died and her rabbi comes aboard Babylon 5 with her legacy from him, and asks her to sit shiva for her father, the traditional wake conducted by those of the Jewish faith. Ivanova demurs, saying it's been too long, she has duties etc., and it becomes clear to the rabbi that she is avoiding facing the reality of her father's death. So the rabbi goes to see Sinclair, to request leave for Ivanova to allow her honour her father. The commander, surprised that he was not even told about the tragedy, tells him she can have as much time as she needs. But when the rabbi tells Susan what he has done she is aghast, saying it was not his place to talk to the commander on her behalf. Seeing he has only made things worse, the rabbi leaves, troubled.

Meanwhile Walker Smith is unsuccessful in his attempts to take part in the Mutai, but an old fighter named Caliban (yawn ... sorry) agrees to help him. Although the aliens have expressed their opposition to a human fighting in the Mutai, there is a way in. If Smith accepts the challenge of the Sho-Rin, the master fighter, at the event then his application cannot be refused. Smith takes up the challenge at one of the fights, much to Garibaldi's dismay, as he had thought the matter closed and his friend had confirmed that suspicion, but only to get him to accompany him to the fight. Though annoyed at having been lied to, Garibaldi sees he must help Smith if he is to survive.

He helps as Caliban trains Smith for the fight (Cue "Rocky" inspirational music) and they enter the ring three days later and yadda yadda yadda you know how it goes. Each man fights well but in the end they are so well matched that the contest is a draw, Smith gains the respect of the alien fighters and humans can now fight in the Mutai. Pee-yook!

If it wasn't for the subplot I think this could even beat out "Infection" as the worst, not only season one episode, but overall episode. But the tenderness and pathos in Ivanova's attempts to come to terms with her father's death rescues the story somewhat, and after some soul-searching she decides to sit shiva after all, remembering the man her father was and trying to measure up to his expectations. Sinclair is also present at the ceremony, and it's a touching little affair. But even with this I have to reiterate it's hard to see this episode as anything other than throwaway, and you'd wonder if the network executives passed a note to JMS along the lines of needs more action! Fight scenes! Christ.

Important Plot Arc Points
Not a one. Completely self-contained. And completely bloody awful.

Quotes
Again, not much. If anything, decent lines come from the subplot. Even then, there's very little quoteworthy in this episode. As for the whole main plot, the Mutai thing? The dialogue is so cliched and trite that it's almost painful. All that's missing is for Walker Smith to wrap himself in the flag of the Earth Alliance at the end! Here are the few (very few) quotes that stand out:

Rabbi Koslev: "This is my first time in space. Such vastness seen so close makes one feel very small."

Again, the rabbi, to Sinclair this time: "This Babylon 5 of yours. Mescado! (sp?) A great miracle!"

There's one quote that's worth repeating, not because it's good but because it foreshadows an event that will transpire at the end of this season. Having saved him from getting a knife in the back, Smith tells Garibaldi "One of these days, Garibaldi, you're gonna learn to watch your back!" This line will come back to haunt the security chief as the season closes. It will also be alluded to before that.

Notes:
We do at least get something from this episode. Though he's now dead, we learn more of Susan Ivanova's troubled relationship with her father. Seems she holds, or held, him responsible for the death of her mother, and in turn he frowned upon her decision to join Earthforce, particularly after her brother Ganya was killed in the Earth/Minbari war. She is torn by her emotions following her father's passing: unable to reconcile her feelings of anger and blame towards the man with the loss of her father. Later in the episode we hear that despite everything, Andrei Ivanova was very proud of his daughter, and indeed in the episode that saw his death, he did apologise to Susan for not being a better father. When she eventually allows the pent-up emotion out and cries for the loss of her father it's a cathartic experience, and no doubt there's a measure of closure. It also softens her character somewhat for the future.

QUESTIONS?
None, other than how a writer like JMS could write this piece of crap!

1.14 "Grail"

There also seems to be an unwritten rule that following a really good episode you have to have at least one poor, ordinary or disappointing one. Sort of like an anti-climax I guess. Well "TKO" was certainly the antithesis of "Signs and portents" --- they could have come from different shows almost! And although few if any episodes will ever be that way again, its followup is not really that much better. It's a decent story, but means little in the overall arc and is kind of just another opportunity for JMS to shoehorn in some Arthurian references, which he seems to like to do. That's all very fine, but the episode really goes nowhere and leaves you feeling a little empty. The only saving grace is the appearance of the superlative David Warner in the role of Aldous Gajic, the seeker. Basically, Warner could appear in a show and do nothing but stand there and it would improve it tenfold. Here he puts in his usual stellar performance, and completely steals every scene he's in. Which is most of them.

Aldous Gajic arrives at Babylon 5. He is a seeker, and what he seeks is the Holy Grail. When Delenn, who was originally irritated that a man of such importance was not greeted on his arrival, asks why Sinclair and Garibaldi are so dismissive of his quest, Sinclair explains that on Earth the Grail is a legend, and no-one believes it truly exists. Delenn however says that does not matter: Gajic is a true seeker, and he should be afforded the respect due such a personage.

Meanwhile, a two-bit hood called Deuce is putting the squeeze on another smalltime crook called Jinxo, who helped build the station. He wants plans of secret passages he says he knows were built into the space station, and when Jinxo tells him he can't do this he demands money instead. To reinforce his threat, he shows Jinxo another inhabitant of the station who was going to testify against him. He calls and something very similar to a Vorlon encounter suit slips out of the shadows and approaches the woman. An alien tentacle whips out from the suit and attaches to her forehead, sucking the life out of her. Deuce warns Jinxo to get his money, before "Ambassador Kosh" has to feed again!

Franklin calls Sinclair and Garibaldi to medlab and shows them the woman whose brain, it appears, has been wiped. She's not the first victim of such an attack and Garibaldi knows Deuce is involved. He's furious that his only witness against the gangster is now a vegetable: Miriam Runningdeer, as the woman is known, will have to learn everything she knew all over again, basically a child starting to understand her world. She will never be in any condition to testify, even should she somehow remember what she knows about Deuce, which is very unlikely. Meanwhile Garibaldi has arrested Jinxo, who was trying to pick Gajic's pocket, and says that he needs the seeker to appear as a witness to the crime.

The judge sentences Jinxo to exile from the station, but the criminal shouts that he cannot leave Babylon 5 or it will be the end for everyone. Intrigued by his passion, Aldous Gajic asks the judge to remand Jinxo into his custody, which he gratefully does. When they are alone Gajic asks Jinxo why he is so adamant to remain onboard, and Jinxo tells him that he worked on all five of the Babylon stations, and every time he took leave something happened. Babylon 1 was sabotaged, Babylon 2 the same. Babylon 3 also exploded while he was away. Having stayed right up to the moment Babylon 4 went online, Jinxo was leaving when he looked back and saw the station vanish. He knows that if he leaves Babylon 5 something similar will happen. Gajic admires the man's courage.

Ivanova has formulated a theory that there is a creature onboard performing --- or being used to perform --- the brain wipes. It's called a Na'ka'leen feeder, and it comes from Centauri space. When Sinclair questions Londo about the creature the ambassador nearly has a heart attack, and when he hears one may be on the station he locks himself in his quarters, telling the commander he should do the same. Gajic and Jinxo visit Delenn and Lennier, who tell them the Minbari have not heard of the Grail, but will send word of the seeker's quest and should anything turn up they will inform him. Jinxo is impressed that the Minbari are willing to help Earthers, considering they were recently at war, but Delenn explains about the different castes. She says the warrior caste would not understand her helping a human.

Deuce decides Jinxo's time is up, and sends for him and the judge, intending to feed them both to the, er, feeder. When Gajic consults Kosh in his search for the Grail, Jinxo, recognising the encounter suit, is terrified and tells the seeker they must leave before the Vorlon eats their brains. As they leave they are attacked by Deuce's men, and Gajic fights well but is captured. Jinxo escapes and goes to seek Commander Sinclair's help, telling him Deuce is going to feed Gajic to Kosh. Sinclair mobilises a team.

In the ensuing firefight the feeder is destroyed but not before Gajic dies, taking a shot intended for Jinxo. Realising he must continue the seeker's work, Jinxo takes up the quest. After all this time being afraid to leave Babylon 5 he does so, and the station remains. For now.

Important Plot Arc Points:
Commander Sinclair
Arc Level: Orange
Although they certainly don't seem obvious here, there are little pointers to Sinclair's destiny, mostly alluded to by Delenn. She calls him a seeker, likening him to Aldous Gajic, and definitely seems to intimate that she knows more about him than he does about himself.

Babylon's burning
Arc Level: Red
The fate of the previous four Babylon stations is mentioned here, as indeed it was in the pilot, and as I said there, the fate of Babylon 4 is tied irrevocably and directly in to the secret behind Commander Jeffrey Sinclair. The point Jinxo makes, that as he left Babylon 4 it seemed to vanish, will come up again soon, but only resolve itself in season three.

QUOTES
One of the many Delenn quotes that hint at a deeper meaning to Sinclair's life. As he gently mocks Aldous Gajic's search for the Holy Grail, Delenn says "He is a true seeker" and Sinclair admits
"I wish him well. He's probably the only true seeker we have." To this Delenn smiles knowingly.
"Then perhaps you do not know yourself as well as you think", she offers.

Sinclair sympathises with the denizens of Downbelow, the rougher, wrong-side-of-the-tracks part of Babylon 5, many of whom turn to crime. He says to Garibaldi, who wants to send in a security sweep, "Most of them are just people with nowhere else to go. They come here looking for a new life, a new job and when they don't find it they can't afford transport back. What do you want me to do, Mr. Garibaldi? Shove them out an airlock?"
(Interestingly enough, though this is often used as a sort of joke around the station --- "Do that again and I'll shove you out an airlock!" etc --- we will find later that Dr. Franklin, who is listening to this exchange, has very frank views on this practice, as he has seen the effects of this actually happening. He doesn't think it's at all funny.)

Garibaldi and Sinclair discuss the possibility of getting another witness to testify against Deuce. Garibaldi moans "When the word gets out about Miriam, I've got about as much chance of that as seeing a Vorlon do a striptease!" This is a funny image, but file that thought away until the end of season two... that's all I'm sayin'.

Sinclair quizzes Londo about the Na'ka'leen feeder:
Sinclair: "I'm looking for some information on a lifeform in Cenatauri jurisdiction. A Na'ka'leen feeder."
Londo: "Aaaahhh! A hideous creature! Hideous! We came across them in our colonising days. Lost an entire colony before we got a quarantine. The only good Na'ka'leen is a dead Na'ka'leen!" He pauses, a thought occuring to him. "This is of course a purely theoretical question? A whim of yours, that you might ask, yes?"
Sinclair: "Well, not really".
Londo: (his whole bearing changes and he is suddenly very scared) "Not ... there couldn't be ... here? I'll have the files sent to you immediately Commander. If you want me I'll be in my quarters, under top security! And I suggest you do the same!"

Gajic asks Delenn if the two castes, warrior and religious, ever agree on anything. Her answer is chilling: "Yes, and when they do it is a terrible thing. A terrible force, as recent events have shown us. Let us hope it never again happens in our lifetimes." This obviously refers to the decision to go to war against Earth, of which we will learn more as the series progresses.

Londo tries to squeeze money out of Aldous Gajic, but is thwarted by his well-meaning but naive attache:
Londo (in reference to offering his aid to track down the Holy Grail): "Ah yes. We will have to do a complete search of our trade history files. Very complicated and time-consuming. However if you can afford the fees..."
Vir: "Ambassador? I've already done it. I thought it would help move things along."
Londo (barely containing his anger): "Vir! Vir! What are you doing?"
Vir: "Being efficient, Sir!"
Londo: "A few more like you, Vir, and the entire Centauri Republic will efficient itself to extinction!"
(to himself) "Fools to the left of me, feeders to the right! I need to find a real job!"

Gajic explains to Jinxo how he became a seeker:
"I kept the accounts for one of the major Earth corporations. I lived in a world of numbers --- clean, smooth, logical, precise. We took a vacation to visit the Mars colony; the first time I'd been. We were in a crawler, halfway across the Amazonus Planetia when suddenly the ground gave way beneath us. I woke up in hospital, a few bumps and bruises. But Sarah, the children, were gone. I grieved for a long time, a very long time. But eventually I went back to work, but the numbers didn't add up any more. Nothing made sense any more. So finally one day I just left, believing there had to be something, some reason why I had been spared. And then I met a man, said he was the last of his kind. He told me that I was a man of infinite promise and goodness. And when he was dying, he gave me this staff. And now I'm the last. But the numbers add up again, Thomas. The numbers do add up."

Sinclair advises Kosh he was being impersonated. Kosh asks "Why?"
Sinclair: "Deuce wanted people to think he had the Vorlons working for him. He figured it would add to his image and intimidate people."
Kosh: "Why?"
Sinclair: "Well after all, no-one knows exactly what you look like. That makes some people a little nervous."
Kosh: "Good."

Sinclair: "It's a hard thing, living your life searching for something and never finding it."
Delenn: "Are you spreaking about Aldous, or someone else?"
Sinclair (after a pause): "Aldous, of course."

Delenn (to Jinxo, as Aldous Gajic's body is taken to its burial): "Put this on the ground where he rests." (She presses a jewel into his hand) "Crush it. It will glow every night for a hundred years. It is our way with all true seekers." Here, she glances pointedly and mysteriously at Sinclair, though he may not notice.

As usual, it's left up to Londo to add the comic relief, when right at the end he talks to Garibaldi though his locked door.
Londo: "Are you sure it's dead?"
Garibaldi: "I'm positive. It's dead as a rock. I saw it with my own eyes."
Londo (opening the door and peeking out suspiciously, but not coming out fully): "How do you know it's not just resting? Feeders are sneaky, you know."
Garibaldi: "Londo. Trust me."
Londo (coming out into the corridor, suddenly brave): "Ah. Well. There you are Vir. I told you there was nothing to worry about!" He turns to Garibaldi as Vir peeks out. "He's young. Sometimes he panics. You know how it is. Where is it?"
Garibaldi: "The doc's dissecting it. Wants to find out how it can move so fast. He's learning all kinds of things about it."
Vir (now in the corridor beside Londo): "Such as?"
Garibaldi: "Well, when they're about to attack they get quiet. So the key is, as long as you can hear them, as long as there's noise about, you're safe. But if you ever hear nothing: worry."
Vir (Garibaldi walks off and Vir does not notice Londo has gone back in and locked the door): "Interesting. Very interesting." (pause) "It's awfully quiet out here, isn't it Ambassador?" Suddenly realises he is alone in the corridor. "Ambassador? Londo! Open the door Londo ! Ambassador, it's not funny! Open the door, Londo!"

And the final word goes to Ivanova. As the shuttle carrying Jinxo leaves Babylon 5 and they worry if the Babylon curse might have had some basis in truth, they watch as the ship goes through the jumpgate, and Sinclair says "No boom." Ivanova, ever practical, typically Russian grins
"No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There's always a boom tomorrow!"

All right, when I opened this new journal I did make a point of saying I would in additionto mostly TV programmes be reviewing the odd movie; after all, the title does have "cinematic" in it. I'm choosing the ones I review very carefully though. They have to be perhaps not unique but not generic in the main, and they have to have impressed me enough to have left a lasting impression. Some of them you may not even have heard of, and it's a safe bet that few if any will be blockbusters.

Unlike my TV series writeups, I'll be giving readers a chance to get a feel for the movie without ruining it. However I'm not going to be wrapping the ending in spoiler tags. What I'll do is that at the point where the film starts to resolve itself I'll place a warning and if you read any further that's your lookout. Why am I doing this, instead of ending the review there? Well, there will undoubtedly be people reading who may not be that interested in actually seeing the film, but may want to know how it ends, and of course there could also be those who have already seen it. So I'm trying to satisfy everybody here.

You're not of course prevented in any way from reading beyond the warning, but if you do so you acknowledge that you could be spoiling the movie for yourself. It's your decision.

So, with that understood, this is the first one I want to look at.

(And yet again I am defeated by Max Character Count! So I have to split this up into two parts, sorry)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...stdevildvd.jpg


Title: Dust Devil
Year: 1993
Genre: Horror
Starring: Robert John Burke as The Dust Devil
Zakes Mokae as Sergeant Ben Mukurob
Chelsea Field as Wendy Robinson
John Matshikisa as Joe Niemand/Narrator

Director: Richard Stanley
Writer: Richard Stanley

For me, this was a strange film to decide to watch. Many of you here I know love horror, the gorier and more frightening the better. Me, I don't. I mean, I'll watch "Criminal Minds" or any show like that, and I'm enraptured by "The Following" (watch for a new "Series Link" soon) but generally speaking I don't enjoy gory or scary movies. I do however like myths, legends, folklore and fantasy, and this film blends all these elements together into what is really a quite excellent movie which should be better known than it is.

Shot entirely on location in Namibia, South Africa, it tells the story of a serial killer who is believed to have mystical powers, and who is referred to in the opening sequence, narrated by one of the characters, Joe Niemand, a healer and kind of witch doctor: "Back in the first times, in the time of the red light, Desert Wind was a man like us. Until by mischance, he grew wings and flew like a bird. He became a hunter, and like a hawk, he flew to seek his prey, taking refuge in those far corners of the world where magic still lingers. But having once been a man, so does he still suffer the passions of a man, flying in the rages sometimes, and throwing himself down like a child, to vent his wrath upon the earth. The people of the great Namib have another name for those violent winds that blow from nowhere. They call them Dust Devils"

The movie opens, and indeed is mostly set in, the great Namib Desert, where a man walks along a long dusty barren empty road. At first glance he looks like a hitch-hiker, a vagrant. But it is soon apparent he knows exactly what he is doing, and he takes out a strange-looking pocket watch whose hands move around the face much faster than they should. Closing it with a nod, he then lies down on the road as if sleeping, but as the camera angles changes we see that he has in fact his ear to the ground, as if listening to, or waiting for something. Soon a battered old car comes along the road, and the man stands up, hailing it.

His eyes beneath the brim of his weather-worn hat are dark and mysterious, and somehow unsettling, but the car stops and its driver, a young woman, gives him a lift. Meanwhile we see the old mystic who narrates the movie make or trace strange patterns on the wall of a cave, and watch the circling motion of a bird of prey in the sky high above him. The woman invites the stranger into her house, isolated and in the middle of nowhere, and later that night they make love, but in the midst of the act he kills her, snapping her neck.

The scene switches to the town of Bethany, where the police Sergeant Mukurob picks up a ringing phone and hears strange, disembodied voices. The same thing happens to Wendy Robinson, in Johannesburg, but she is in bed and puts it down to a crossed line. Back at the murdered woman's house the hitch-hiking stranger looks at his watch again. He notes the time and writes it on a photograph he has taken of the dead woman. He holds up a bowl (whether the photographs are in it or not I don't know, but you can bet the girl's blood is) and utters strange words, and then paints strange symbols on the wall of the bedroom. As he leaves we see that he has removed the girl's hand, minus the fingers and nailed it to the wall. The fingers he then carefully places in a small box.

Before leaving he torches the house, while listening on the radio to news of the great drought that is afflicting Namibia, killing the cattle and drying up the crops. He then takes his victim's car and drives away. In Johannesburg Wendy leaves her husband after an argument in which he accuses her of cheating on him. Sergeant Mukurob is called by the station to the site of the arson attack, where they have found the dismembered body parts of the woman. On further investigation they also find the abandoned car. The stranger has by now hopped a train, and is on his way to Bethany, which the radio reports tell us is the centre of the drought, and is said to be "doomed".

Doing the autopsy of the dead woman, the doctor discovers that the symbols on the wall of her house were made with the victim's blood and other bodily fluids, and she suspects witchcraft. Mukurob is incredelous: witchcraft, such superstition in this enlightened age? But this is Africa, where the old gods do not die easily, and the devils less so. She suggests the policeman consult a Sangoma, a holy man, who would be able to tell him what parts the killer was looking for, and what he would be likely to use them for in a ritual. Mukurob is reluctant but he does know of a Sangoma who lives locally, and goes to talk to him.

Wendy arrives at a bar near Bethany just as the stranger is leaving with some people who are driving a camper van ; he looks in the window at her but she does not see him, her back being turned to the window. That night, as she drives on and dozes a little behind the wheel, straying off the road, she almost runs over him as he walks out into the road. In the glare of her headlights his face appears momentarily inhuman, bestial, demonic. She swerves desperately to avoid him and goes off the road. Realising she has narrowly avoided crashing, and unwilling to go any further in her exhausted state, she sleeps in her car overnight.

The next morning, seeing her car has become buried in the hard sand of the desert, she gets out and goes to seek help. She notices a van up on the rise ahead of her, but when she climbs to it and knocks on the door there is no answer. A man with a shovel taps her on the shoulder and asks if she is the driver of the van, whihc is in fact a camper van; she says no but could he dig out her car, down the hill? As she leaves we see the inside of the van is smeared with fresh blood, and it's obvious everyone inside is dead. Further up the road she comes across the stranger hitch-hiking, and picks him up. She realises this is the same man she almost ran over last night. While in the car he takes a Polaroid of her and asks her some questions about herself, though she is reticent with answers. She tells him she is going "straight through, all the way to the sea."

Police meanwhile have discovered the camper van, and indeed everyone inside has been butchered, with body parts all over the place. Sergeant Mukurob meets with Joe Niemand, the Sangoma, who tells him he believes the world is about to end, and the drought is a sign of that. Joe appears to be building some sort of magic circle around his home, protection presumably, and it corresponds in design to the symbols the murderer drew in blood on the walls of the burned-down house. The enlightened Mukurob however cannot believe what the Sangoma tells him, and he can really get no sense out of Niedman so he leaves.

When Wendy admits she believes in neither god nor devil, and has no expectation of a life after death, the interest seems to go from the stranger and suddenly they appear to pass him hitch-hiking on the road. Doing a double-take Wendy looks over at her passenger and --- he's gone! She slams on the brakes, confused and if she's honest with herself, more than a little afraid. Mukurob is told by his boss that he has to take him off the case, as the UN are taking over in the wake of political unrest in the country. He himself is being forced into retirement, but Mukurob believes he is close to catching the man who has so far killed twice, and just needs more time. Information has come to light about a white woman whose car was seen near the camper van with the mutilated corpses, and he sets about tracking Wendy down.

She, meanwhile, desperately unhappy and perhaps thinking she has lost her mind, tries to commit suicide in the bath but cannot make herself use the razor blade and drops it into the water. Outside, her erstwhile hitch-hiker lurks, but when she detects a presence and gets out of the bath to check, she finds nobody there. However the next morning she finds him in her car, and he convinces her to again take him with her. Mukurob's boss meets him and turns over all the files on unexplained and unsolved murders in the area that he has been able to find; Mukurob is amazed to see that one, which mentions a pocketwatch like the one found inside the first victim, goes all the way back almost to the turn of the century!

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/i...7dgQsopBh_sLng
All right, that'll do. Nothing to see here. Turn back unless you want the ending of the film ruined. Yeah, I'm talkin' to you...
https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/i...v0_K7VyfA4PtUg But you proceed now at your own risk...

Wendy and her passenger finally reach the end of the desert, and on the high sandstone cliffs overlooking the sea, they embrace, while her husband is now on her trail, heading for Bethany. Mukurob awakes from troubled dreams of his wife and son to find Joe Niedman sitting at the foot of his bed; he tells him he has come to help him. While Wendy's husband is getting beaten up at the bar she passed through, she is making love to the stranger, and Niedman is leading Mukurob into his caves. There he shows him the symbols carved on the wall, which correspond to the ones scrawled on the walls of the first victim's house. He tells the sergeant that what they seek is called a naghtloeper, a Dust Devil, a shapeshifting demon who preys on the weak and uses them to make himself stronger, even invincible. Mukurob of course thinks he's mad and does not believe it.

Joe tells him that the only way to destroy the demon is to trick him to step across a holy stick called a kerrie. If he does this he can be stripped of his power, but there is danger; in so doing he may transfer his essence to that of the policeman, taking him over. Still not believing, Mukurob takes the stick. While the Dust Devil showers Wendy goes through his things and finds the box of fingers. He tries to kill her but she escapes, driving off into the night. The demon though makes a gesture and a truck swerves into her path, knocking her off the road. In the pileup that follows she barely gets free of her car before it, and the rest of the crashed vehicles explodes, and she runs off into the desert.

Mukorob and Mark have joined up to try and find Wendy, or at least the Dust Devil, while the demon is using his unnatural powers to try to comb the desert to find her. He whips up a sandstorm and she is blinded, stopped, can go no further. He then attacks the oncoming Mukurob and Mark, overturning their police vehicle, and the sergeant shackles Mark to the car, telling him that he should be safe as Dust Devil only takes those who have nothing. Then he walks off into the storm.

As the storm abates Wendy begins walking again, but when she eventually comes across a village it is completely deserted, its habitants having long ago abandoned it in the face of the harsh desert. Here she meets Mukurob and they both unaccountably hear a phone ringing. Mukurob gives her a gun and they head towards the sound of the phone. Picking it up Mukurob hears the voice of his dead wife, calling him to her. Confused, he staggers into an old abandoned cinema, and as he exits it he runs into Dust Devil, who stabs him. Wendy goes looking for him in the building and not finding him comes back out to encounter Dust Devil. He looks at his watch: it is running backwards. He is not happy.

She threatens him with the gun but it jams and the demon advances upon her. Mukurob though, who is lying nearby, throws down the kerrie stick with his dying breaths as the monster advances, and as he crosses it, an instant too late realising what has happened, Wendy grabs the policeman's shotgun and blows Dust Devil's head clean off his shoulders.

As Wendy wanders out into the desert she comes across her husband, still handcuffed to Mukurob's poilce car. For a moment she levels the shotgun at him, a dark, dead look in her eyes, then she turns and walks off into the desert, the shotgun over her shoulder. She walks out along the desert road, lies down and presses her ear to the ground, and presently a convoy of UN trucks arrives. She stands out in the middle of the road, hailing them.

It's fairly apparent from the ending of the film that, just as Joe Niedman warned Mukurob, the Dust Devil has transferred his essence into Wendy, just before dying, and she is now his. Indeed, the final scene shows a figure garbed in a long shabby greatcoat and hat, the dress originally worn by the stranger in the opening scene, pass in front of a fiery setting sun. The end monologue seems to confirm this: ""The desert knows her name now, he has stolen both her eyes. When she looks into a mirror, she will see his spirit like a shore blowing tatters around her shoulders in a haze. And beyond the dim horizon, a tapestry unfolding of the avenues of evil, and all of history set ablaze".

Quotes
(Moatly from the narration of Joe Niedman)
"He sifts the human storm for souls. He can smell a town waiting to die and and the manhood festering in a boy from a thousand miles away. Their smell is sweet to him."

The doctor examines the corpse of the first victim:
"We've got envisceration, partial cremation, sexual mutilation, possibly even cannibalism. We found the remains of a clock wedged inside her, for god's sake!"

Dust Devil is offered a ride by Wendy:

Wendy: "Where you headed for?"
Dust Devil: "Nowhere."
Wendy: "Just came from there. Any other place I'm good for."

Joe Niedman, in response to Mukurob's query as to why the killer is taking fingers from his victims:
"There's a whole lot of power in fingers. Lots of knuckles and such. If you want to win a war, you need a whole fistful of knuckles!"

Joe (in narration)
"This is the work of the naghtloeper, black magician, a shapeshifter. He seeks power over the material world through the ritual of murder. The power of vision, of ecstasy. The power to shield himself from detection, and death. To travel, and to transform, he feeds off our life, he preys upon the damned; the weak and the faithless, he draws them to him and he sucks them dry."

Joe to Mukurob:
"You've got to stop thinking like a white man; start thinking like a man instead."

Joe to Mukurob, in the cave:
"We are nothing to him. We are dust in the wind. He smelled Bethany dying, and he has come here for souls, to build his power and return to the realm of the spirit. Until the ritual is complete he is trapped ike us in the material world, bound by the flesh. He must work through human form while he is in this world, and so is vulnerable to human failings. Only through ritual, through any power over the flesh can a spirit awake to fuller consciousness. To work the ritual he must keep moving, but if he can be tricked to cross this kerrie he can be rooted to the spot and stripped of his power."

Joe, again to Mukurb:
"Death hunts you, just as you hunt the Dust Devil."

Joe (in narration)
"The serpent lures its pray entranced, eyes wide open, through the mirror, to the land of the dead. To the house of the dust, where the air is thick and hard to breathe."

A nice touch!

Just before Dust Devil disappears from the car, Wendy takes a bite from a shiny green apple. Eve biting into the apple of temptation while the devil urges her on?

There is also a reference, intended or not, to Kansas's big hit "Dust in the wind", though the director wisely refrains from taking the easy route and using it in the soundtrack.

Why do I love this film?

For many reasons. One is the fact that it is, on the face of it, a movie I would normally not have bothered with nor been interested in checking out. Serial killers, ritual murder, usually not my scene. But this film blends in those elements with legend and myth, superstition and folklore and really neither proves nor disproves either. There's a sceptic, as you would expect, in Ben Mukurob, but at the last he gambles that the Sangoma was not rambling and it is his throwing down of the kerrie stick that enables Wendy to get the drop on Dust Devil. Admittedly, she's not fast enough in despatching him and gets taken over, but in essence the ploy works, and Niedman did after all warn Mukurob that this could happen.

It's also a very small cast: three really. There are other people, the likes of Mark and the police captain, but they play relatively minor roles. The movie is really carried on the quite understated performances of the main trio. And understatement is the name of the game. Even Robert John Burke, in the role of Dust Devil, the supernatural killer said to be a demon from the desert, is quiet and menacing rather than maniacal. Chelsea Fields as Wendy portrays a desperate woman rapidly running out of things to live for, while Mukurob is a man with a dark past who is trying to atone for past mistakes, though we are never let in on what those mistakes were. They do seem to have led to the deaths of both his wife and son though.

I like the fact that, though the murders are savage and ritualisitic, and feature dismemberment you don't see Dust Devil kill his victims, other than the first, and even there it's just a basic snap of the neck. You don't see him cut her up later. The most graphic thing in the movie really is the autopsy on the burned and dismembered corpse later. Even when we see the camper van and it's obvious everyone inside is dead (we more or less know this when we see Dust Devil take a ride with them at the bar) there are few gory details. We see a window streaked with blood and a fly walking across it, and when the door is eventually opened later and the corpse or corpses discovered, the only thing we really see in close up is a severed hand. It's not in-your-face gore; this movie trades more on the horror of what might have happened rather than shoving it front and centre in a "Saw" manner, which I much prefer. It's left up to your imagination rather than forced down your throat.

The music, too, is great. A mixture of kind of Gregorian Chant with Spaghetti Western film themes, which works really well, and some African rhythms and melodies layered over it too. It all creates a very otherworldly atmosphere, a striking, desolate air that sends shivers down your spine.

And the setting is perfect for a film of this nature. Against the vast expanse of the unforgiving Namib Desert humans do indeed seem small and insignificant, and the idea that some all-powerful and evil entity is out there controlling everything is no doubt a notion that has come to the minds of anyone who has crossed such a desolate wilderness. It's clever location too, because it obviously cut back on costs and provides a bleak, barren backdrop to a story of humans battling evil and eventually succumbing to it.

"Dust Devil" is also a classic case of a movie that succeeds without any big names, any flash settings or any --- really, none --- special effects. In fact, apart from the desert this movie could have been made on a shoestring budget, though it certainly does not show in the final product. But it avoids diverting attention away from the storyline and the characters; it doesn't pad out the plot with too many unnecessary personnel, and the narration device is a good way to keep people apprised of how the story is coming along. It's also a clever touch to have the narrator take part in the story.

Although loosely based on a real-life story of a serial killer in South Africa, the film really only borrows elements from that and mixes them in with local folklore and legend, stirring the whole thing up into a devil's brew of a powerful story that comes across as both chilling and almost believable.

Finally, there's a great sense of there being no happy ending about the movie. Sure, in the end the "bad guy" is defeated, but he's almost then seen as just an aspect of evil, which reaches out and claims the one who vanquished him and makes her its new emissary. A message about the timeless and shifting nature of evil, and how humans invite the darkness in, sometimes inadvertently, sometimes all too willingly. In the vast desert, both of actuality and of imagery, the tiny soul of man, or woman, is swallowed up and lost.

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Season one

Episode Two
As it's the rumour going around, Darren is waiting outside Jimmy Byrne's house waiting for him to come back so he can take revenge for the killing of his brother. Meanwhile, John Boy and his crew are getting ready to colelct a shipment of drugs coming in the next morning, and Mary intends to see a psychic, worried about where her late brother's activities may have landed him in any afterlife that may exist. Trish phones Nidge, angry that he appears to have forgotten his own son's birthday, which is tomorrow. As Darren leaves Mary's house she fumes that someone keeps putting their rubbish in her wheelie bin. This may seem a small thing but will be seen to evoke a violent overreaction at the end of the episode.

Darren goes to see the so-called psychic and warns him that he had better tell his sister what she wants to hear, or ... he places a pistol on the desk meaningfully, and says he'll be back if Mary gets told anything that will upset her. The gang collect the drugs at the docks, but as they arrive in the van to the lockup Darren realises the police are staking out the place and they have to fall back on plan B, which involves finding another place on the fly. Tommie knows a guy, JP, and they're able to use his garage to store the gear.

The drugs are distributed to various dealers in John Boy's network, and Mary rings Darren to tell him that she has received a call from Peter, the psychic, to tell her that Robbie is in Heaven. Nidge proposes to Trish, who is delighted and accepts. JP turns up at the party Tommie invited him to in gratitude for getting them out of a scrape, but he's high and soon gets on Huey's nerves. The night does not go well. Rosie visits Darren and they reminisce, but Darren says he realises she is with Stumpy now. Anything he can do for her he will. She seems disappointed. Later Darren gets a call from Jimmy Byrne, who tells him he didn't kill his brother, but he had better stay away from his wife or he'll kill him. He says he's coming back to Ireland, and Darren will be waiting.

As a final coda to the show, Darren then hears someone putting their rubbish in Mary's bin. With displaced rage bubbling up inside him and needing to let it out, he runs out, catches the guy and pounds the crap out of him.


QUOTES
Trish (on phone): "Ah where the hell is that clown?"
Nidge (annoyed): "Ah what are ye givin' out about now?"
Trish: "The clown? The clown for Warren's birthday?"

Peter (the psychic): "What I was saying to your sister, to Mary, is that in cases of violent death, the spirit of the loved one is sometimes unable to move on."
Darren: "Stuck?"
Peter: "In a sense."
Darren: "That's the thing that upsets Mary the most. So his spirit is stuck someplace?"
Peter: "It's not a place as a state of being."
Darren: "But his spirit is still stuck?"
Peter: "Stuck wouldn't be right in the sense that the soul itself of its own volition decides to stay."
Darren: "So this place that he's in..."
Peter: "Well it's not a place..."
Darren: "I understand. But this place he's in, it would be somewhere sad?"
Peter: "Well, that would be my sense of it."
Darren: "But all this **** is making my sister very upset, yeah? So I want you to call her, and I want you to tell her that Robbie is gone to a good place. Will you remember that? And that he's happy, and he's going to Heaven, and he loves her, and all the rest of the other bull****. Or else I'm going to have to come back."

Rosie to Darren: "I wish, I wish I could just click me heels and go back, and all this was different."

John Boy to Darren, on his arrival at the party: "Here he is! Man of the Match!"

John Boy to Darren: "Ireland is ****ed for the next ten years, you know that don't ye? This is the only game you can make any money. Make your money and get out. People are going to be selling up all sorts of stuff, houses, land, all you need is the money. Banks won't give it to you. Here, I was thinkin' , maybe I could set up me own bank. What do ye think? Couldn't be worse than the bastards that are there now."

QUESTIONS?
It's obvious Stumpy suspects Rosie is meeting Darren, but how much does he actually suspect, and how far is he willing to take it?

MIRROR, MIRROR
We've already seen how Nidge balances family life with being a career criminal, how he dotes on his son while extorting money out of people. Now we see Darren, the "hero" of the whole thing, lose his rag with someone who is doing an annoying thing but not deserving of the beating they get at the end. Of course, he's just tranposing his anger at Jimmy Byrne towards the neighbour, but it's still a brutal act, which shows us that, pretty boy though he may be and with a good heart, Darren is still in his blood a violent criminal.

Nidge, too, takes out his anger at nearly being caught with a van full of drugs and releases the pressure he feels by threatening the clown Trish has booked for their son's birthday party. When he tries to pay him less than the clown is asking, the entertainer gets stroppy but Nidge turns on him. He is used to dealing with people in a violent and aggressive manner, and he won't change that behaviour, whether the object of his anger is a gun-toting criminal or a Garda or a man dressed as a clown. He knows no other way to respond, and more to the point, he knows it gets results.

LETTER OF THE LAW
We've recently had a case of a gangland boss, already inside for a long stretch, getting an addition seventeen years on his sentence for orchestrating a drug empire from behind bars. So the fact that here, John Boy, who is in court on some unexplained charge --- probably drunk driving or speeding, as he mentions the judge has decreed he must resit his driving test --- is able to arrange the pickup of a huge shipment of drugs while in court, is quite true to life. Sometimes nothing stands in the way of the criminal ensuring he carries out his nefarious business, on occasion right under the noses of the guardians of law and order!

FAMILY
Although she knows, or suspects, what Nidge gets up to, Trish is far more concerned with maintaining a normal family life --- or as normal as possible --- for their son. So when Nidge, driving the van loaded with drugs and worried the cops are following him, and waiting for a new destination gets a call from her to see where he is, that the party is in full swing and he promised to be there for the cutting of the cake, he really can't believe it. Nidge loves his son too, but he has to devote all his immediate attention to the job he's on, and has no time for family matters. When however Trish realises how serious this is, she backs off, trusting her boyfriend and worrying that he'll be all right.

HONOUR AMONG THIEVES?
Both Darren and Tommie distinguish themselves well in this episode. Darren is the one who susses that the lockup is under surveillance, while it's Tommie who arranges the alternative location at short notice. Both have now proven themselves valuable to the gang. Not that this will count for anything as soon as they step out of line, or once they've served their purpose.

ONE CUEBALL SHORT OF A FRAME
All right, all right: I'm not that well up on snooker terminology. But John Boy's psychotic brother (half-brother, I think: it's mentioned at one point in the first episode though I don't believe ever made that clear the actual state of the relationship between the two) is a typical example of the unhinged criminal at his worst. It's this unpredictability that scares people, even on occasion puts John Boy on edge (more for the worry that a loose cannon can screw everything up than actual fear of what he might do) and will eventually come back to haunt him. In this section I'm going to be looking at the crazy wild world of Huey, known "affectionately" as "Cue Ball".

As the guys unpack the heroin (or cocaine, whatever the drug is: never clarified) in JP's garage, Heuy sees a cool old car and wants to take it out for a ride. JP though is reluctant. This is the conversation between the two:
Huey: "Cool car JP man!"
JP: "Thanks."
Huey: "Don't mind us havin' a look?"
JP: "Nah it's fine."
Huey: "Can I take a spin in it?"
JP: "It's me da's."
Huey: "He'd mind, would he? (Pause) What's the story with the car?"
JP: "It's me da's."
Huey: "I'd bring it back!"
JP: "You're good thanks Huey."
Huey: "What do ya mean?"
JP: "Thanks but you're all right."
Huey: "What are you thanking me for?"

This conversation serves to illustrate certain things about the little gangster. One, he truly and honestly believes anyone will give him anything he wants, and he can do anything he likes. When you're a little psycho and everyone's afraid of you, this is in fact usually the case. Secondly, a darker part of him loves making people squirm. He knows, probably, that he has no chance of getting a "spin" in the car, but he pushes JP just to see how far he can intimidate him, and then when he's bored of that he mocks the desperate efforts of Tommie's friend not to seem like he's being awkward, all based on the fact that he doesn't want to get on Huey --- or John Boy's --- wrong side. Huey enjoys exerting control over people, and he loves it when the fear of him leads to either him getting his way, or if not, him being able to push people around.

He has now latched onto JP as a target, and despite the fact that the guy did the gang a favour, he will force the issue later on in the episode. There is, really, no percentage in helping the gang, and one would also suppose none in refusing to help. In the latter case, you make an enemy of some very powerful people who will make sure you regret it, and in the former, they will not see themselves as owing you anything, and you will certainly not become their friend, or part of their circle, unless for some reason they want this to happen.

Later, at the party, with JP high and this time not caring, or seeming not to, Huey broaches the subject again, but this time JP just relaxes and smiles when he asks:

Huey: "Maybe if you asked him (his da) he wouldn't mind?" JP smiles. This annoys Huey. "What are you smilin' for? You think I'd rob it?" JP makes a motion with his hand like an aeroplane taking off. "What's that mean?" asks Huey. "You think you're Superman do ya?" Turning to John Boy "If he keeps that up I don't care, he's goin' out the window! See if he can ****in' fly then!"

Here I think Huey is even more annoyed at JP that he can't intimidate him, scare him because the guy is out of his head, and even his threat to throw him out the window doesn't faze him. He quite possibly sets up Elmo, one of the other criminals, to punch JP out when he thinks he's making fun of him. His laughter is maniacal. He has managed to get the man he has taken an instant dislike to beaten up without having to lift a finger. Now that's power!

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1.14 "Nightmare"

Sam wakes from a horrible nightmare and tells Dean they have to go. He has had a dream about someone in Michigan who needs their help. As they drive there (Dean still a bit sleepy and thinking his brother is overreacting) Sam calls the police station and gives them the number plate of the car he says he saw in his dream. To Dean's unease it checks out and they get a home address, but by the time they arrive the guy is being taken away in a bodybag. They ask what happened, and are informed the man committed suicide. Sam doesn't believe it though: he tells Dean that in his dream, the guy was trying to escape and was being trapped in his car by something.

Posing the next day as priests (which Sam notes is a new low for them) they gain access to the house and talk to the man's family. They are told Jim, the victim, was a normal guy who nobody would have expected to have taken his own life. It transpires that it was his son, Max, who found him and Sam goes to talk to the kid. Dean tries to find out how long the family have been living here, and is told five years. He then floats the idea of strange noises, electrical outages that usually denote some sort of spiritual activity in a house (see "Home") but is told that no, there was nothing like that going on.

As they try to figure it out later, Sam is suddenly shaken by another nightmare, though this time he's awake and it causes him intense pain. He sees Roger, Jim's brother, being killed by having his head cut off when he leans out a window and it slams down on him. The boys race to try to prevent it but are too late. When they talk to Max though and he tells them everything was all right between his father and his uncle, the brothers detect something in his tone that speaks about their previous home, and they decide they should check it out. When they get there they are told a tale of child abuse by one of the old neighbours, that Max's father and indeed his brother used to beat the boy, and that the mother would stand by and do nothing. They also learn she is Max's stepmother, his real mother apparently having died in a car crash.

Just then Sam has another vision, and things become clearer. He sees Max attack his stepmother with a knife, but he's not holding it. He's controlling it, almost as if he were capable of telekinesis. Sam watches horrified as Max tells his stepmother she did nothing to stop the abuse, and wills the knife to drive through her eye and into her head. They race back to the house and stop Max but he uses his telekinesis to trap them. Asking for a moment to talk to him alone, Sam explains that what he's doing is wrong, that the people who beat him in the past are dead now ... and Max tells them that the abuse continued, right up to the time he killed his father. Sam says he understands, but then Max says that his father hated him, blamed him for his wife's death.

How could he do that, asks Sam, and Max tells him tearfully that she died in his nursery, bursting into flames. Sam is speechless for a moment, then tells Max that the very same thing happened to him and Dean, and that they must be connected somehow because the same demon is after them for some reason. Max finds it hard to take in though, and despite Sam's assurances that they can help, he traps him in the room and goes up to where his stepmother is hiding with Dean. He levitates Dean's gun out of his pocket and points it at his stepmother. Dean steps in front of her and he shoots, killing Dean.

But of course that was a vision Sam was having. However it will come true if he doesn't hurry. He slides the bookcase Max had blocked the door with away, legs it up to the room, banging on the door. As he gets in Max is about to shoot Dean (because he's protecting the stepmother) but Sam talks to him, pleads with him to stop, and Max nods, turns the gun around and ends his own life.

As they leave, Sam wonders why this demon is after them. He blames himself for Max's death, but Dean tells him it wasn't his fault. Sam says at least they had a good parent to look after them when their mother died, unlike Max. "A little more tequila", he postulates, "a little less demon-hunting, we could have ended up like Max." He then tells Dean that he was somehow able to move the bookcase just by thinking about it, and worries that he may be turning into something he can't control, perhaps like Max. Dean laughs it off, saying that as long as he's around nothing will happen to Sam.

MUSIC
The Bob Seger System: "Two plus two"

The Bob Seger System: "Lucifer"


QUESTIONS?
What does the demon want? It's clearly now not just Sam and Dean, as they now have evidence it was after at least one other child...

What are Sam's visions? Where are they coming from? And will they continue?

How did Sam move that bookcase? Is he going to manifest other powers too?

The "WTF??!" moment
When Max tells Sam about what happened to his mother, and we realise that what happened to Sam and Dean is not unique.

PCRs
Just the one. Again, it's a pseudonym related one. Dean introduces the two "priests" with "Good Afternoon. I'm Father Simmons, this is Father Frehley." Gene Simmons and Ace Frehley, members of heavy metal/glam metal band Kiss.

BROTHERS
As much as the last two episodes have basically focussed on Dean, this one centres on Sam, as we learn about his visions; that the one about Jessica is not the only one he had and that he has now progressed to having these nightmares in the day, when awake. We also find that he is manifesting new powers, witnessed in the removal of the bookcase through the power of his mind. Although he shrugs it off, Dean has to be concerned. Not only is his brother now showing signs of being even weirder than usual, but they have met someone else who has gone through the same trauma as they, and it seems what happened to them happened to others too.

So why did it happen? Their quest to hunt down the demon has just got a lot more complicated than a simple thirst for revenge. Now it's answers they need, and though it no doubt scares him what's happening to Sam, Dean is the elder brother and vows to keep him safe, no matter what.
He also must be somewhat relieved to see Sam's attitude towards their father softening, considering the events of "Scarecrow" that led to the parting of the ways, if only temporarily. Sam now seems to realise how hard it must have been for their dad, to have lost his wife and yet held the family together. Max's dysfunctional family are a clear indication this did not necessarily have to be the way things turned out, and he is grateful.

The ARC of the matter
Here I'd like to introduce a new section. Up to now, the episodes have been pretty much self-contained, and unlike Babylon 5 few if any of the ones that have gone before tie in to the main storyline (with the exception of the pilot of course) so there has been no discernible arc to follow. This is the first episode where the possibility of a deeper, more involved storyline makes itself apparent, and some clues to the larger plot can be gleaned.

There are still self-contained episodes, but as the series develops and moves into season two and beyond the arc will begin to come more to the fore, integrating itself into the stories and tying what may have seemed like random events together, until we finally see "the big picture". For any episodes that do this, I'll be talking about them here. If an episode doesn't impact on, or advance or present clues to the arc, I won't run this section, but in the ones that do, I'll be looking at the implications both on the previous episodes and those yet to come.

Here we get the first clues that Sam's nightmare about Jessica's impending death was not in fact a one-off, or even in his mind. He discovers that he can see into the future via dreams, he can see when people are in danger and having ignored this in the case of his fiancee, to his and her cost, he resolves not to let anyone else die if he can prevent it. This "power" obviously freaks Dean out, but he covers it well.

By the end of the episode we've also learned that Sam is not the only one developing abilities, and although Max dies, it can be surmised that there are more than just he and Sam in America, perhaps the world, who have these powers. We also learn, or are given a hint, that Sam has certain other powers, such as some form of telekinesis, which he uses, instinctively and almost involuntarily, to move the bookcase and escape from the room in order to rescue Dean --- or is to to try to save Max? Or both?

1.15 "The benders"

Sam and Dean have come to Hibbing, Minnesota, where there has been a strange report of a man, Alvin Jenkins, going missing, and a boy who says he saw him being dragged under his car by "a monster". Sam notes that their father marked the area in his journal as a significant spot for monsters; this county has the highest disappearance rate per capita of the whole state. While they consider what to do, Sam goes back to the car but does not return. Panicked, Dean searches for him to no avail, and has to ask for help from the local police. When he mentions Sam's name (giving his real name for once, as otherwise Sam could not be properly tracked down if he has been taken) the sheriff, Kathleen, remarks that his brother, Dean, is on record as dying in St. Louis as a suspect in a murder (see "Skin") --- Dean is clearly uncomfortable being reminded about the shapeshifter but tries not to show it. There are bigger problems for him to deal with. The security traffic camera footage turns up a suspicious looking black truck (no, not the same one from "Route 666"!) which has equally suspiciously new plates, indicating it must be stolen. It drives off with what can only be described as a whining growl, the sound the kid they interviewed said the thing that grabbed Jenkins made.

Meanwhile Sam has awoken to find himself in a cage, and surprisingly Jenkins is in one opposite, alive. He talks to him but before he can get any sense out of him some men in black walk in, open his cage, throw in some food, lock it again and leave. Sam is amazed to see that they appear to be dealing with humans, not monsters, for once. When Jenkins' cage is opened and he escapes, Sam warns him it may be a trap --- it was too easy --- but Jenkins does not listen and heads for the woods, where he is set upon by a band of men who appear to be hunting him. Sam hears his dying scream.

Dean's ruse of impersonating a police officer to get the deputy to help has been sussed, and she is ready to turn him in, but because her own friend also disappeared three years ago and was never found she feels a sort of affinity for Dean's loss of his brother (though she still doesn't know who Dean is, just that he's not who his fake ID says he is) but she handcuffs him to the police car when they arrive at the spot they believe Sam may have been taken to. She heads into the woods alone, despite Dean's desperate protestations. When she comes across a rundown house and talks to the little girl who answers the door, Kathleen sees that Missy is dirty and unwashed, and the girl tells her that her mother is dead. Just then her father comes up behind and knocks Kathleen down with a shovel.

She wakes up in a cage next to Sam, but Dean has got free and joins them, looking for some way to open the cages. He goes back to the house but is captured and tortured by the family, who are basically redneck inbreeds who hunt people for fun. Who woulda guessed, huh? The father sends his boys to kill both Sam and Kathleen but in a fight the father and his boys are killed and the brothers and Kathleen escape yadda yadda yadda...

Note: Before I get to the music and such, I'd just like to point out this is a truly awful episode. It's Supernatural's "TKO" (see my Babylon 5 features) or "Infection" even. The only thing that's slightly good about it is that we've been conditioned, up to now, to expect ghosts and creatures and demons and all manner of horrible, otherworldly things to be responsible for the disappearances/deaths the boys investigate, so from that point of view it throws you for a loop somewhat to find it's nothing more behind this than redneck hillbillies. Perhaps you could remark the worst monster is Man? But really, this is a third, no, fourth-rate ripoff of every girl-finds-backwoods-cabin-and-comes-across-mad-rednecks movie you've ever seen or heard of. It's trash, and returns for a brief, depressing moment to the monster-of-the-week format, though even then it's worse than anything that has come before. There's no story arc, no advancement of the relationship between the brothers, nothing. Just a story that should have been buried and never let sully this great series. Shame.

MUSIC
Joe Walsh: "Rocky Mountain way"


QUESTIONS?
Just the one: who wrote this crap, and allowed it to get within a billion parsecs of Supernatural??

The "WTF??!" moment
There isn't one, apart from see above.

PCRs
Just the one. Jenkins says he's waiting for "Ned Beatty time". Rather appropriately, this refers to the movie "Deliverance". Also appropriately, he's right, as it happens...

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Dave Lister


Life and Lister did not at all hit it off well, right from the beginning. Found under a pool table in a box, Lister was abandoned as a baby and brought up by relatives. He attended art college but decided the hectic work schedule was ridiculous: lectures first thing in the afternoon!? Lister took a job as a trolley attendant in a car park, a job which he held for ten years before giving it up because he didn't want to get tied down to a career. On his 24th birthday his mates get him completely drunk and he wakes up in a MacDonalds on Mimas, one of the moons of Saturn. Trying to get his fare together for the return trip to Earth, Lister takes a job as a hopper-driver, essentially a cabbie, and it is during this time that he is to meet the man who will completely change his life, essentially by losing his: Arnold J. Rimmer.

Lister meets Rimmer as he ferries him to a brothel, though the man, heavily disguised with a false moustache and calling himself Christopher Todd-Hunter, declares he thought the place was a restaurant. Lister has been thinking of joining the Space Corps, and with Rimmer's somewhat unwilling help he applies and is accepted for a tour of duty aboard the Jupiter Mining Corporation vessel, Red Dwarf. He goes in as a Third Technician, and remains at that level: the captain regards his promotion prospects as "none" (however, in the case of the aforementioned Rimmer, the comment is "comical"). Lister is assigned to Z Shift, which just so happens to be headed by the aforementioned Rimmer, who is less than pleased to have Lister on his team (in fact, he is less than pleased to have Lister on the ship!), but makes up for it by making snide remarks, and taking every single opportunity to put his subordinate on report whenever he can. Rimmer and Lister also bunk together, (not out of choice, you can be sure!), and while Rimmer pores over his astro-navigation revision Lister tells him of his five-year plan, to buy land on Fiji and settle down there with Flight Officer Christine Kochanski, there to raise sheep and cows. He says he will get the land very cheap because most of the island is three feet underwater.

When it is discovered that Lister has smuggled aboard a non-quarantined animal, a female cat called Frankenstein, who is in fact pregnant, he opts to be sealed in a stasis booth for eighteen months rather than turn the cat over to the ship's labs. When he emerges from stasis, Lister is told by Holly, the ship's tenth-generation AI computer, that everyone on board the ship is dead, due to a massive radiation leak, and he had in fact had to remain in the stasis booth for three million years, while the radioactivity in the ship's atmosphere fell to acceptable levels. Rather staggered by this news, Lister is even less pleased to find that the one person whom Holly has brought back to keep him company is Rimmer!

Every member of Red Dwarf had had, before the voyage, their personality imprinted on a computer slug, which could, in the event of their death, be used to reinitialise the personality and confer it on a hologramatic representation of that person: a hologram for short. That hologram would have the same memories, feelings, desires and drives of the person whose personality it contained, but being nothing more than a computer simulation made up entirely of light, they would be unable to touch anything, and no-one or nothing could touch them. In effect, they would be as substantial as a ghost. Red Dwarf is capable of sustaining only one hologram, and it would of course have been expected to be ship's procedure that the person most important to the ship that died would be brought back as a hologram; should someone less important be already occupying the single hologram disk, then the more important person would takeover their runtime. In this case, of course, there was no need for seniority or importance. When Holly, who is capable of piloting the massive ship through the immeasurable vastness of space, had been considering a companion for Lister when he had to let him out, he had picked, in his opinion, the one who would best help Lister survive going insane. That person had been Arnold J. Rimmer.

The two pick up their non-friendship where they had left off: everything Lister does irritates Rimmer, and Lister thinks Rimmer is a complete git (which he is). Despite the fact that they have a five-mile ship and all the berths on it to choose from, Lister and Rimmer bunk together again: they may hate each other, but the corridors of Red Dwarf still echo with the ghostly, half-heard voices of the people he and Lister had once shared the ship with: people they had seen, talked to, touched, pushed past, shouted angrily at, made passes at, saluted to and bumped into in these selfsame corridors. Now, they could walk from one end of the mighty vessel to the other and not encounter a single living soul.

However, what neither of them know is that Frankenstein, Lister's cat, had been safely sealed in the hold at the time of the accident, and her descendants have been happily breeding there for three million years. They have evolved beyond mere quadrupeds, and have attained the power of speech, the ability to walk on two legs, and supercool fashion sense! In short, they have become a humanoid species, and Lister and Rimmer encounter the only survivor of their race aboard Red Dwarf, whom Lister calls, with stunning originality, Cat.

Lister's twin goals in life are to get back to Earth, and to somehow have a relationship with Kochanski. The fact that a) they are three million miles from the first and b) the second is dead does not deter him. He learns from the Holy Books that the Cat brings to him that he is the god of the Cat people, who know him as Cloister the Stupid! When they rescue Kryten, the service mechanoid from the doomed Nova 5, it is Lister who pushes the droid to break his programming, thus sending him off on a voyage of discovery that is not to last very long, as some time later Lister finds the mangled remains of his spacebike, which he had let Kryten take, smashed on an asteroid, and he has to repair the damaged android. However the Kryten he brings back is somewhat different to the original.

Travelling to a parallel universe, Lister encounters his female opposite, and after having sex with her finds that he is pregant! He has two sons, but they grow up too fast and so in order that they do not die Lister returns to the parallel universe and leaves Jim and Bexley with their mother. He is later prevailed upon by Rimmer to swap bodies with him, the deal being that Rimmer will occupy Lister's body for two weeks and get it fit again, but this is not what happens and Lister's body barely survives death at the hands of the unhinged hologram. When Kryten discovers a way of allowing them to travel backwards in time to any place of which they have a photograph, Lister goes back to his own past and convinces his younger self, who is fronting his first band, Smeg and the Heads to invent the Tension Sheet, and so becomes a multi-millionaire, avoiding ever joining the Space Corps. His luxurious lifestyle is short-lived though when Rimmer tries to do the same with his younger self, and only succeeds in realigning the timelines, sending Lister back to Red Dwarf.

Lister is changed into a chicken, a hamster and a tiny robocop-type man by the Transmogrifier, and plays pool with planets when Holly sets up an elaborate plan to stop a time-dilation effect caused by a White Hole. He tells his friends that he used to be called Dave "Cinzano Bianco" Lister, because once he was on a table, you couldn't get him off it! After he successfully pots the planet as planned, Lister refers to himself as Pool God, King of the Cues, and Prince of the Planet Potters. Rimmer, however, has another name for him: jammy goit! Ace Rimmer, who comes from an alternate dimension, refers to him as "Skipper", after mistakenly taking him for "Spanners", the Lister in his dimension.

Along with Kryten, Lister is erased from Time itself by The Inquisitor, but manages to trick the android into destroying itself. The fact that Lister believes he can play the guitar when in fact he couldn't do so to save his life is the deciding factor when his body is duplicated by a psiren, which reading Lister's mind believes it can play guitar, and does, thus proving not to be the real Lister. In the finale to the series (so far) it is revealed that Lister has been involved in some horrific accident, which has left him as nothing more than a brain in a jar. Rimmer would no doubt remark, with a snide look on his hologrammatic face: "Well, it would have to be a very small jar, wouldn't it?"

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1.3 "One last dance"

Zoe has been assigned a bugging mission at the Turkish Consulate, pretty standard as MI5 want to keep an eye on what any foreign government is doing and thinking. Tom blows off a low-level informant who tries to tell him about some men he heard about who were looking to buy automatic weapons, and Danny goes in to clear out Helen's desk after her death in the last episode. While Zoe is at the consulate it is suddenly raided by a group claiming to be Kurdistan separatists, who take everyone hostage. She manages to get a message off to The Grid and they prepare a team. In addition to the Kurds though there appear to be some English raiders in the group, and they are communicating with another outside the consulate. They then leave the Kurds holding the prisoners and make their way out of the building.

As MI5 watch the last transmisson from Zoe's phone before it was, like everyone else's, smashed by the militants, they note that there are three masked figures (the ones with the English accents) and that these men appear to have some military training. Information comes in on the Kurds: two of them at least seem to be a breakaway faction from the KFF --- Kurdistan Freedom Fighters --- whose parents have both been imprisoned by the Turks and who have been involved in other terrorist actions. They're the Bhakuri siblings, Chaka and Leyla, brother and sister. Tessa worries that Zoe may be identifiable as a government agent, but there's nothing they can do about that now.

The terrorists wire up the Turkish Consul as a human bomb and leave him on the balcony. Tessa thinks she recognises one of the men in the car they have on CCTV arriving at the consulate and taking the building by storm. She believes it to be Johnny Marks, a former asset of hers who worked in Iran to recruit sources for MI5 but who was killed in 1987. Harry displays his contempt for the man when he tells Tessa that Marks worked for the highest bidder, selling information to anyone who would pay him. Tessa tells him that she thinks that, somehow, he may still be alive. Harry doesn't believe her; he personally identified Marks' remains, he says.

Marks is alive though, and he has a hostage of his own, a young woman whose father is high up in MI5 it would appear. Meanwhile Zoe's handbag has been discovered with the bugging tools, but the raiders don't know who owns it. They try to find out, as MI5 do their best to get cameras into the building but are coming up against sophisticated countermeasures. When the Kurds threaten to kill one of the hostages, Zoe has to admit to being the owner of the handbag. Her story falls apart though when her snivelling escort, who is supposed to be posing as her husband, says he doesn't know her. She then has to reveal who she really is.

Harry has been looking at maps of the consulate and has noticed something that worries him. He phones and asks his superior for permission to contact "RW", but when permission is granted and he calls this mysterious person they panic and hang up on him. The masked men, in the meantime, are on their way across rooftops to a bank which Harry has realised is the real target. When it's revealed that Tessa not only ran Marks but was in love with him, Harry berates her, saying that he used her to get the information from Harry as to where the secret bank was that MI5 use to pay agents. With a target like that he could write his own ticket, and Tessa led him directly to it. Not only that, but the female hostage Marks has is the daughter of the only man who has access to the bank, Roger Welks, the "RW" Harry spoke to. He's not, as we thought at the beginning, an operative of MI5 but is in many ways more of a target than any high-ranking Secret Service official due to his position and his unique knowledge. He has, obviously, given Marks the codes he needs to get into the vault. Not only that, but with those codes he can also identify and locate every foreign agent both MI5 and MI6 have: British security could be forever irreparably compromised, perhaps destroyed. Tom is detailed to get into the bank and stop Marks and his men.

However there's another problem. Now that they know there is an MI5 agent in the consulate, the Kurds demand to speak to the person responsible for sending her in. That's Tom. He negotiates with Leyla, but she is wise to his ideas of delaying or infiltrating the place. Tom asks Colin if he can mockup some video footage that would make it look like the Kurish hostages --- the Brakhuri's parents among them --- are being released. Colin is the resident computer geek, but even he is dubious as to whether this can be done. He is ordered to try anyway. With no way in and no way out of the bank, Harry believes they're at a standstill until Tessa shows him some underground tunnels, built by the Secret Service during World War Two which link every building in the area.

As the team make their way to the bank via the tunnels, Tom has to meet Chalak at the door of the consulate to deliver urgent medicine for the hostage who is tied to the chair on the balcony. He uses the opportunity to grab Zoe, who is supposed to be taking the medicine from him, and gets shot in the back, but luckily his vest takes most of the impact. Leyla has realised that Marks' men have long departed and that their backup is gone, and even though they are watching supposed video of their parents and the other prisoners being released, she realises that their position now is untenable, and it's unlikely they will get out alive. Moments later CO19 storm the building and she is arrested with the rest of the terrorists.

Tessa receives a visit from Marks on his way out of the country. She tells him that she was pregnant with his child back in 1987, but that she lost the baby at five months. She asks Marks not to keep the list of agents, and he turns it over to Harry, in exchange for being let walk.

New characters in this episode:
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Malcolm Wynn-Jones, played by Hugh Simon
Malcolm is an older gentleman, very refined and somewhat aloof, kind of like the sort of uncle you visit who has great stories and gadgets to show you but doesn't really seem to connect that well on a personal level. He is the senior analyst in Section D, and a computer genius.
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Colin Wells, played by Rory MacGregor
Another computer nerd, Colin works under Malcolm and is very bookish and geeky, though he relates far better to the others. Both these characters become semi-regular and a part of the team for several seasons.

In many ways, this episode is a little self-contained and doesn't lend itself to the usual notes I tend to write, but what fits in I have detailed below.

Harry's World
Although a hardcase veteran and not much of a sentimentalist on the surface, it's clear that the death of any of his people hits Harry hard, the moreso when they're young and the death is both violent and unexpected. Helen had been recruited into a situation which was viewed as being of minimal danger; she was never expected to encounter Osbourne or be directly involved in any violence. As Harry stares at her file on his computer, while the question "Delete file: yes/no" blinks at him on the screen, you can see how hard it is for him to let go. Pushing the delete key will remove Helen from the database and is a necessary precautionary measure, but it also means that in a very real way it's the last vestiges of her they'll ever see again, with Danny clearing out her desk, and Harry has a hard time pushing the delete key. His people are not just numbers, casualties or employees. They're like family, and he probably remembers he was more than a little condescending to Helen in the brief time he knew her, and wishes now he had been more perhaps friendly to her.

Harry talks of his contempt for traitors and mercenaries:
"Johnny Marks betrayed the entire British intelligence community as well as most of the arab states, and when he was done with them he moved on to the Irish. Big mistake. A car bomb put paid to his treachery."

Harry, in his last conversation with Marks:
"Know this. I never send my people to do my dirty work. I always do it myself. And if any of those agents' names are ever revealed, I won't make the mistake I made with your brother."

Rivalries
Tom muses on how the politicans will always insulate themselves and that MI5 will always be the scapegoat: "Great. Goverment will be working on the worst scenario so if this thing does go down they can shove all the blame on the poor old intelligence services and halve our budget."

The Mind of a Terrorist
Leyla Bakhuri: "We have already won a great victory!"
Zoe: "Why? Because you're holding guns to our heads?"
Leyla: "Would you be listening if we were not?"

Later, as she's being led away:
Leyla: "What we have done here today will never be forgotten. My brother's name will never be forgotten. (To Zoe) What will you be remembered for? You don't exist, do you?"

Johnny Marks to Harry:
"You created me. You trained me, manipulated me, the way the West manipulates entire countries and then acts so shocked when they turn around and rip off the hand that fed them."
Harry: "Who was in the car?"
Johnny: "My brother. Your people got the wrong man."
Harry: "I really don't know what you're talking about."
Johnny: "Three thousand agents' names and addresses. All of them out there, trying to effect the course of world events. Why? Because this country can't stop trying to punch above its own weight. You know the part I'm gonna miss most? The part where you have to explain away the loss of fifteen million pounds."
Harry: "You and I both know you're not going to walk out of here."
Johnny: "How much are 3000 agents' names worth? Are you prepared to sacifice all those people just for me? I walk, you get the names."
Harry: "How do I know I can trust you?"
Johnny: "Because I have never broken my word."

Baggage
Here I'd like to explore the relationships of the agents, both in and out of the service, though mostly the latter. As spies, each member has to keep their personal and business life separate, maintaining secret identities as I already mentioned. Sometimes the effort of maintaining that distance puts a strain on relationships, and sometimes it can bring the past back with a vengeance.

Tom/Ellie/Masie
As we've seen for two episodes now, the constant lies and evasions are beginning to tell on Tom's relationship with Ellie and her daughter. In the previous episode (although I didn't mention it at the time because it wasn't pertinent as such to the storyline) Masie noticed when Tom slipped off the wedding ring he had been wearing, while posing as Helen's husband. She has also heard him on the phone to Zoe, and started singing her name in the first episode. These are all little clues which, though the child will not be able to put them together, to an adult like Ellie are going to start adding up and making a picture. You wonder how many times Tom can be called in to fix an IT problem that often takes hours or even days to sort, and how much longer Ellie is going to put up with these obvious half-truths before she begins to wonder if Tom is playing away, or not who he seems?

What is interesting is that near the beginning of the episode, as he phones in to tell Ellie that he has to go back into work --- and on his birthday! --- he is actually right outside her house as he talks. So close and yet so far, the two worlds of his life within almost touching distance, and yet they may as well be separated by a gulf as wide as time. Also, when he returns home and is nursing his wound, Masie sits beside him and hugs him. He winces, but can't let on that he's been shot, and anyway he no doubt relishes the human contact. Ellie, possibly on the way down the stairs to confront him about his absence, thinks better of it when she sees how much he means to Masie, and no doubt wonders if she's getting in too deep here, and if her daughter will be caught in the crossfire.

Roger Wilkes
Not an agent, Wilkes runs the bank MI5 use to process the payments for their agents. So when Johnny Marks wants to get into the bank and needs the codes, he captures Wilkes' daughter and threatens him so that he gives up the codes. It seems even the most tenuous links with MI5 can sometimes be dangerous.

Tessa
Depicted as somewhat the "ice maiden" on the show, it's a bit of a relief to see that Tessa is after all human, but her affair with Johnny Marks returns to haunt her when he is shown to have used her to find out where the secret bank is located. The sidestory about her baby is kind of pointless really, as it will go nowhere: the child died before she came to term, so it's not as if she's going to appear in the series sometime down the line, looking for her mother.

Most people have a problem when asked what is their favourite TV show ever. Understandable, given how many great shows have graced our screens in the last fifty years or so, and the continuing (in the main) high quality of programmes being developed today. So choosing your favourite, out of all the shows you've ever seen, has ot be hard, right? Not for me it's not. I have already noted in the introduction to this journal that Babylon 5 stands as my second-favourite show ever, but I have no hesitation or indeed concerns about naming my all-time favourite, and this is it.
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This may seem strange, when you consider that back when the show originally aired I didn't watch it, but remember its haunting theme and the scene of a sailing ship tacking into the wind, an image which remained with me through my later youth, and together with the music became indelible icons of the show in my mind. It was only in later years, with the advent of digital television and its rerun on one of those new channels that I had a chance to actually watch the show, and find out if the sailing ship and the theme were all there was to the show, or if it actually had any merit as a series. Suffice to say, I was pulled in immediately and from then on never missed an episode. In a very real way, an almost lost element of my childhood had resurfaced in adult life, and unlike many things that come back to you in later life, this was not a disappointment, not a reminder that sometimes we see things with the eyes of a child that when we grow up do not measure up to our original impressions of them. This, on the contrary, vindicated my childhood wonder and supplemented it by showing me a drama that was every bit as good as I had hoped it would be, and then some.

The Onedin Line was one of the very classiest dramas produced by the BBC in the 1970s. Originally broadcast as a one-off Drama Playhouse, the show charted the lives of a shipping family in late nineteenth-century Liverpool, focussing in particular upon James Onedin, the ship captain with "ambition enough for an army of Napoleons". Securing the purchase of his first ship through the convenience of marrying the seller's daughter, James Onedin soon proves he is not above trickery and hard-heartedness to survive in the busy, cut-throat world of trade and shipping.

Faced on all sides by business rivals, mounting debts and though sometimes even the very elements themselves seem to conspire against him, James uses his practical business sense and knowledge of ships and the sea, as well as men's hearts and minds, to keep his fledgling empire afloat. In the best tradition of BBC pseudo-historical drama though, things do not always go his way, and the master of the Onedin Line has more than his fair share of disappointments, failed ventures and losses. He is supported in his endeavours by his wife Anne, who, despite knowing initially little of the ways of the sea, comes to learn, and proves herself in fact an astute businesswoman. In addition to this, she is more or less the "power behind the throne", as although James will seldom admit it, he does everything he does with his wife in mind, and would not hurt her for the world.

The show gained huge audiences and became one of the favourite shows of the day. Viewers remember the stirring, triumphant and romantic theme to the programme, Khachacturian's glorious adagio from Spartacus, as the camera travelled towards and then up along the ship, before the title credits appeared emblazoned on the screen.

The writing is superb, the acting first-rate and the stories both interesting, entertaining and informative. So well researched is the series that it is very easy to gain an almost firsthand knowledge of Liverpool in the 1860s and the sea trade in general, maritime practices and rules, and even the state of politics and the economy during the latter half of the 19th century. It's a true family saga, in the grand old tradition, in that people are married, sons and daughters are born, grow up and take their place in the unfolding storyline. However, the series centres around James Onedin, and he is never far from the storyline. Like a colossus bestriding the world of trade, he compels and demands our attention, and we cannot help but wonder where his next adventure will lead, how he will get out of this particular pickle, and in all honesty, who will end up paying the price for his survival? For as James is quick to point out to his wife soon after they are married: "In matters of business, I give nothing away!" He is not above sacrificing the happiness, wealth, futures or dreams of his close family and friends to further his ambitions. He is a tough man, uncompromising, but capable of occasional feats of compassion and kindness. Even his best friend, his First Mate Baines, he will not acknowledge as such, preferring to keep him at arm's length, as a trusted employee, but no more, although the truth of their relationship is later explored in depth.

The Onedin Line ran for a total of eight seasons, from 1971 to 1980, though when rebroadcast it was rare for anything further than the third to be screened, whereupon they would return to the pilot episode and start all over again. I was lucky enough to see the entire thing when it was first rerun, and was in fact amazed that there was so much of it, as at the time the only episodes available on VHS tape to buy were seasons one and two, and possibly three. For a long time I thought that was all there was. Imagine then my surprise and delight when, expecting the series had come to an end on UK Drama, the channel showing it, they carried on into season four, five, six, seven and finally eight! I was, as Kryten from Red Dwarf once put it, in hog's heaven!

As I review this series, I'll be doing it on an episode-by-episode basis, even though for a British series this flouts the tradition now normally followed of a season consisting of no more than ten episodes, usually much less; seasons one and two have fifteen episodes each. But there is so much to talk about in this series, and given it's landed the place of top show for me --- an unassailable position I believe, borne out by the fact that fantastic a show as it is Babylon 5 still occupies position number two --- that I really think I'll have to devote a full post -- or more! --- to each episode.

Cast
Like any of these big "family-dramas" of the seventies and early eighties, the cast list for The Onedin Line grows exponentially as new characters are added and indeed new family members born. Of course, as in any drama other characters die or are written out --- sometimes temporarily, sometimes not --- so I'll be concentrating on, apart from the core main cast members and characters, those who impact on each season, and as new ones are introduced I'll note them.

James Onedin, played by Peter Gilmore.
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The focal point of the series and the man whose name it bears, James is a sea captain living in Liverpool but spending much of his time at sea. Dreaming of greater things for himself he decides to go into business on his own, and over the course of the series uses means both fair and foul to defeat or takeover his competitors. Something of a mix of Richard Branson and Gordon Gecko, though ostensibly the hero of the series he is not above using dirty tricks to get what he wants, and he essentially sees his family as means to that end. Unswervably ambitious and true to his convictions, he is a tough but mostly fair master to those who work for him, but has generally nothing but contempt for his rivals. Many of his more daring schemes will pay off, but many will land him in worse hot water than he was in when he began. The epitome of a self-made man, it is self that best defines Onedin, as he bows to no man.

Anne Onedin, played by Anne Stallybrass
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If there's one thing James loves more than his ships it's his wife. Originally a marriage of convenience, a device by which Onedin procures his first ship, the relationship between James and Anne develops to a point far beyond which either of them ever expected it to. A pragmatic woman, Anne knows her place but is not afraid to speak up when she feels she needs to, and is probably the only one who can prevail upon her fiery husband and calm him down when he is ready to go off half-cocked, but even she knows when to remain silent.

Elizabeth Onedin, played by Jessica Benton
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The pretty, socialite sister of James, Elizabeth is in love with Daniel Fogarty, but his position as a lowly sea captain impresses neither her nor her brother, and she takes up in a scandalous affair with the younger foppish Albert Frazer, an alliance much better liked by James, who sees that he can use Frazer's father's shipbuilding yards to his advantage.

Robert Onedin, played by Brian Rawlinson
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Elder brother of James, Robert has none of the adventurous nature of his brother and is content to run his chandler's shop, an attitude which earns him contempt from James. Robert is more concerned with rising through society --- mostly at the behest of his social climber wife, Sarah --- and refuses to back James' wild schemes, leading to bad blood between the two brothers.

Mister Bains, played by Howard Lang
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A bluff old seadog, Bains is James Onedin's right-hand-man, First Mate on most of his ships and occasionally captain, and though James treats his with gruff and grudging grace, the two are fast friends, even if neither will admit it. Onedin needs Bains, and vice versa, and they will see many an adventure through together.

Sarah Onedin, played by Mary Webster
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Sarah is married to Robert, and thinks little of James and his machinations. She has no love for or regard for the sea, and thinks the chandler's life is beneath the status Robert should be striving for. She has a high opinion of herself, an attitude that brings her into conflict with James, who she barely masks her intense dislike for. She is sympathetic to Elizabeth, but more to spite James than that she actually likes her.

Albert Frazer, played by Philip Bond
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The son of a powerful shipbuilder, he is smitten with Elizabeth and she with him. He woos her and she agrees to a relationship with him, but this is complicated by her promise to marry Daniel Fogarty, and the scandal the affair will produce (especially when it's revealed that she is pregnant with Daniel's child) places James in an uncomfortable position, where he has to choose between ordering her to marry Fogarty (this IS the nineteenth century, remember!) for the sake of her social standing --- and his --- or bless the relationship with Frazer, which benefits him commercially and financially.

Daniel Fogarty, played by Michael Billington
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Fogarty is a First Mate, looking for his own captaincy and in love with Elizabeth. He does not know, being away at sea, that she is carrying his child. He does however know how lowly she sees his status, as she has tried to persuade him to give up a life at sea and take a "more respectable" desk job at the dock. But Fogarty's first love is the sea, and now it seems that he has a second rival for Elizabeth's affections in Albert Frazer.

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1.2 "Passport to freedom"

B'Stard is having one of his many, many flings in a Heathrow hotel room preparatory to leaving the country on a diplomatic visit, but he is less than happy when he discovers the girl has not been taking precautions. He's a lot less happy when he gets to the airport and discovers he hasn't got his passport, and so won't be let onboard the aircraft. The day doesn't get any better for him when he returns home to look for his passport and is told by Sarah that she has inherited a million pounds and plans to divorce him!

Seeking advice from Norman, he meets the fugitive accountant in his new offices, a broken down ambulance in Park Lane, where he is told that the company in which Sarah has inherited 100,000 shares, Ocelot motors, is booming and her shares could well be worth the million she believes them to be. B'Stard couldn't care less about Sarah but the messy publicity engendered by a divorce, not to mention the fact that her father will deselect him as MP for Haltemprice once he is no longer married to his daughter spurs him to action. Norman points out that Sarah's shares have not yet come to her, as her uncle, who she has inherited them from, died abroad and there is paperwork to be completed. He fashions a plan to wreck the company, making the shares worthless.

However when they research the records of Ocelot Motors it becomes clear this will be far from the easy job they might have considered it to be. Profits are up, exports booming, workforce tripled, and a healthy no-strike agreement is in force. When B'Stard learns though that the main factory is in Bramall, constituency of his arch-rival Bob Crippen, he begins to see a way. He inveigles Piers into helping him break into the Prime Minister's office by promising him one of the new Ocelot Supercat cars. Stealing some of her personal official stationery he writes a letter, purporting to be from Thatcher, in which she supports the decision of the board of Ocelot to cut the work force, cut wages and get rid of the union.

This leads to a call for an all-out strike at the plant, thereby sending Ocelot's shares into freefall, effectively destroying the company and accomplishing his aim of making Sarah's shares worthless. When Piers then reminds Alan of his promise, he laughs, but brings him to the downstairs carpark, where he presents him with his very own Ocelot Supercat. Mind you, he hasn't bought it, only hired it: and with Piers' credit card! What a b'stard!

QUOTES
Alan (after about three seconds of sex) : "How was it for you?"
Vicky: "How was what?" (Pause) "Oh, that. Well, it was ... different."
Alan: "Different how? Sexier? Chunkier? Bigger?"
Vicky: "Quicker."
Alan: "Well of course it was quick! I'm a busy man!"

German airline check-in girl: "I'm afraid there's rather a long queue, if you wouldn't mind just standing aside..."
Alan: "Yes, yes, as Hitler said to Chamberlain, just before he invaded Poland! I don't need a passport: we won the war!"
Girl: "And much good it did you!"
Alan: "That's it: I demand to see the airline manager, or airline feuhrer, or whatever you call him!"
Girl: "I'm afraid Mister Goering is unavailable. He's busy pillaging the art galleries of eastern Europe!"

Piers: "I wish I was a Yuppie. What is a Yuppie, Alan?"
Alan: "Yuppie, Piers, is short for useless pill, so you are one already, aren't you? Congratulations."

Alan: "Look it's perfectly safe. She (Thatcher) is in Washington for the state unveiling of Reagan's new nose!"

Alan: "Tell me officer, do you find the gun makes a great deal of difference to your work?"
Cop: "Oh revelation, Sir! Revelation! I mean, take last Saturday: a mate of mine on the Met was policing the Chelsea match. Some hooligan threw a bottle on the pitch, so he draws his piece, blows him all over the halftime scoreboard. Wasn't any more trouble after that!"

Alan (in response to Crippen's view that not even he could weasel the Tories' way out of this mess): "Au contraire, Mister Speaker! Which I translate as that's what you think, for the benefit of the member for Bramall, who probably never went to school!"

and continuing:
"It is not as if the average car worker has the taste to spend his outrageously high weekly pay packet on anything more worthwhile than ...pigeons. And whippets, and brown ale, and oven-ready chips!"

MACHINATIONS
This is one of the slightly bigger ones. In order to save his marriage --- or more importantly, his seat in the Commons --- B'Stard has no problem whatsoever orchestrating a strike at Ocelot Motors, bringing the previously shining company to its knees and putting god knows how many people out of work. The lives of "the ordinaries" mean nothing to him, and they are mere pawns to be used and sacrificed as he sees fit in the game of politics, mere chips to be gambled as he amasses more and more wealth and power. Even so, it has to be noted that the initial idea for this does not come from him, though he quickly endorses and sets it in motion.

SIDEKICK
Again we see Piers drafted, bullied, and cajoled into helping B'Stard in his plans. This time he is bought on the promise of his own Ocelot supercar, but Alan only takes this (for him, rather drastic and perhaps unnecessary step) because Piers fears Thatcher more than B'Stard, and so Alan has to grumpily switch from stick to carrot. He does of course however renege on his promise, but in a way that bizarrely maintains it. He seems to find the irony of such a resolution so much more satisfying than just refusing to keep his word.

The slightest most innocent comment from Piers can evoke a harsh reaction and the sharp tongue of B'Stard. Here, when Piers genuinely does not know what a Yuppie is (though he wishes he was one) Alan snaps that it stands for "useless pill", which is how he says he sees Piers, though in fact Piers is the one person without whom many of B'Stard's plans would either fail or be a lot harder to carry out. He is the perfect foil; the patsy, the cannon fodder and yet the indispensable, as B'Stard himself cuttingly describes him, servant.

It can be seen here too that it is Piers' almost boyish drooling over the Ocelot Supercat in a magazine that delivers to Alan information that proves crucial in formulating his plan, that the plant is located in Crippen's constituency. The information is probably available but if Norman knows it he doesn't deem it important and has not told Alan. It's only through the merest chance that Alan gets this tidbit of information, and it comes via his faithful friend. Not to mention that it's to Piers that the job of actually sending the letter to Crippen --- from Bramall, so as to appear to be one of his constituents, and with Piers in a hilarious cloak-and-dagger disguise --- is tasked. B'Stard would not take the risk of being discovered in the Labour stronghold, presuming he could even find it!

WHAT IS LOVE?
VICKY
No other name given, Vicky is the junior government official whom B'Stard has a one night stand with in the hotel at the opening of the episode. When she demurs that she has never slept with a married man before --- "Unless you count daddy!" --- and does not like one night stands, B'Stard convinces her this is nothing of the sort. It's not a one-nighter, he tells her, oozing sincerity and charm, it's a first-nighter. He tells her he loves her, but then once he has what he wants he pushes her away and watches TV. The next day she calls him, seemingly pregnant, as he tells her to "drink some gin and have a very hot bath", and he callously ends the call with "No of course I don't love you! Grow up, Victoria!"

From this we can see, if we did not already know, that B'Stard, a rampant sex beast, will say anything and do anything in order to bed who he wants to, and expect no repercussions afterwards. Unfortunately, he is a very desirable man and women will continue to throw themselves at his feet, knowing him to be scum but wanting him anyway. As Marillion once wrote, "every girl on Earth has built-in bastard radar!"

SARAH
Quite aware of her husband's dalliances, Sarah could not care less. She does not love her husband and if it wasn't for his wealth she would divorce him. She in fact feels more sympathy for "whatever poor little typist" B'Stard was bedding the previous night, but her chance has finally come to detach herself from her philandering husband when she inherits shares in Ocelot Motors, and she makes arrangements to begin divorce proceedings. She intends it to be a "messy divorce, with lots of unwelcome publicity", hoping to embarrass and trash the reputation of her husband as much as possible. She also knows that her father will, at the drop of a hat, have him kicked out of the House of Commons.

At the time, she is having a lesbian affair with B'Stard's Publicity Agent, Beatrice Protheroe. One might expect the latter, in a rush of loyalty, to go tell the MP what his wife plans, but there is no evidence she tries. She probably hates B'Stard as much as Sarah does.

This will not be the first time Sarah tries to separate herself from Alan, nor indeed will the pendulum never swing in the opposite direction. In this episode the two kiss, but in later ones they will make a point of "missing" each other's lips in a gesture of revulsion with each other.

THE USER AND THE USED
NORMAN
Again, it's other people who generally sort out B'Stard's messes. Norman, on hearing the news of the impending divorce, moves to have all Alan's assets and accounts transferred to Vatican City, "the only place where even the accounts of known criminals are safe!" However when it becomes abundantly clear that Sarah does not want or need Alan's money, it is again Norman who floats the idea of destroying Ocelot Motors as a way of sorting out Alan's problem. It can be seen that B'Stard has done little to help Norman: though he is now sporting makeup he is still a man and when we first met him his offices were in a disused railway siding; now he has progressed to, um, a disused ambulance.

BOB CRIPPEN
With skillful mastery of politics and people, B'Stard manoeuvres his enemy into a position from which he profits. Knowing Crippen to be a staunch Labour man and advocate of the worker, it is to he that the letter, purportedly from Thatcher, is sent, for B'Stard knows that he will react as expected. And he does. When it looks like all he is going to demand though is a full public enquiry --- which could take years --- B'Stard insults the labour force generally and then Crippen personally, bringing about the outcome he had wanted: general strike. Poor Crippen doesn't even realise he's been played by a master.

PCRs
"Spy Catcher" --- When B'Stard opens Thatcher's desk, we see a copy of the book "Spy catcher", the memoirs of a former Assistant Director of MI5, which the British government tried to ban on publication.

"Chelsea" --- The cop Alan and Piers meet in the hallway of the Houses of Parliament, and who praises the former for getting them armed (see first episode) talks about the Chelsea match, though who plays against Chelsea FC in this fictitious match is unknown. Perhaps, given their history of violence and hooliganism, Millwall might have been a better candidate? Just sayin'...

I don't think I ever would have expected to see the Onedin Line mentioned on MB!!! I reckon we must be the only two on the whole forum to know it.

Getting frustrated over getting hold of season 2 of Babylon 5, as where I get dvds from seems to be having problems getting hold of it. When I do get it, I'll respond on this thread.

http://s5.postimg.org/xv0u0fgwn/cpb5.png

Season One: "Signs and portents" (Part seven)

1.15 "Eyes"

If this is your first time with Babylon 5 and you're either reading these synopses to find out about it or as a precursor to watching the series, or are indeed watching it now, and you think the last few episodes have been a little dull, you're right. But take heart: things are about to improve on a vast scale. Although not one of the really great episodes that takes season one towards its sensational conclusion, "Eyes" is a decent episode and far better than either of the two that have gone before. A colonel in Earthforce arrives on the station to quiz Sinclair about his loyalty, and indeed to investigate the entire station. He's from "Eyes", Internal Investigations, though he does not approach the command staff directly. He instead snoops around under an assumed name and role, trying to find out all he can about Sinclair and his people. When his cover is blown he reveals himself to be Colonel Ari Ben Zayn, and orders Sinclair to assemble his people.

There has been unrest in the colonies recently, particularly on Mars, and Earthforce fears that Babylon 5, with its open trading policy and its comings and goings of alien merchants, may be used as a staging point for arms transfers to the rebels. Ben Zayn says he is here to see who is still loyal to Earth, who can be trusted. Sinclair immediately vouches for all his people, but the colonel makes it obvious that he does not consider the commander's word any sort of guarantee, and that Sinclair himself is far from above suspicion. Ben Zayn has brought with him a specialist from Psi Corps, Harriman Grey, who will be scanning the crew's minds to determine the level --- or otherwise --- of their loyalty. When she hears this Ivanova flies into a panicked rage and tells Sinclair she will resign before allowing a telepath access to her mind.

Sinclair is suprised and appalled at the idea of using telepaths in investigations, as the law on Earth clearly prohibits this, but Ben Zayn smirks and tells him there are new laws in force back home, and he is perfectly within his rights to have Gray present. He attaches Garibaldi to his staff, over Sinclair's objections, and informs the security chief to assemble all files on the station's staff, including classified ones, and report back to him. While he waits for the computer to collate the files, Garibaldi runs his own little investigation on the colonel.

After questioning Sinclair about various episodes, including the destruction by the Vorlons of Warmaster Jha'dur's ship and the resultant loss of the anti-ageing drug (see my entry on "Deathwalker") Ben Zayn tells Sinclair he will formally question the commander the next day. Talking to Ivanova about why she so deeply opposes the idea of a mindscan, Susan tells him that her mother contacted her telepathically many times when she was young, and nothing must ever intrude on that memory, especially Psi Corps. She has a strange dream in which she sees her mother being injected by men in actor masks (obviously Psi Corps techs) and then the scene changes and it is she who is in the chair being injected. She bolts awake as her dream self, echoing the words of her mother, sighs "Only one way out".

When Sinclair turns up for his hearing the next morning he insists Gray leave, quoting the regulations, which he has of course studied: telepaths are only allowed to be used to determine the answers to specific questions, not as an overall "fishing expedition". Gray, to Ben Zayn's surprise and undisguised anger, agrees, and leaves. Meeting him in the lounge, Ivanova is intrigued to learn that Gray actually agreed with Sinclair, and the telepath tells her that he has to work with the colonel, but that Ben Zayn lacks compassion. She begins to slightly warm to Gray, but it does not last. Ivanova does not trust Psi Corps, never will.

The colonel, however, has decided he has enough "evidence" to bring in Mr. Gray as he intends to bring specific charges against Sinclair, and he relieves him of command, taking over in charge of Babylon 5. His first act is to go to C&C (Command & Control) and advise Ivanova she is ordered to report tomorrow for a telepathic scan. She swears to Garibaldi she will resign her commission before submitting. The next morning Sinclair reports for his hearing, but before he does he talks to Garibaldi, who tells him he has found out some interesting facts about the colonel. He was much higher in the pecking order as a candidate for command of the station, and he is aquainted with Bester, the psi cop who previously visited the station (see "Mind war") in search of the rogue telekinetic, Jason Ironheart. In fact, Garibaldi tells the ex-commander, it was Bester who assigned Gray to Ben Zayn, surely not a coincidence? The psi cop's way of getting revenge for Sinclair having let Ironheart escape and making him look foolish?

During the hearing Sinclair baits the colonel with the fact that he didn't get the command he was expecting, and asks why he has turned what should have been a routine investigation into a witch hunt? Ben Zayn loses control, pulls a gun on them but Gray, shocked, sends a message of pain into his mind and Sinclair is able to grab the gun and punch him to the floor. The colonel's true bias and intentions now revealed, the investigation is over. Sinclair, Garibaldi and Ivanova however know this was just the first shot from Bester, and he won't give up so easily. They'll hear from him again before too long.

There's a comic subplot that for once does not involve G'Kar or Londo: in fact, neither feature in this episode at all. Instead, it's Lennier, the quiet, humble attache to Ambassador Delenn who provides the comic relief, when he offers to help Garibaldi rebuild an old Earth motorcycle, and gets totally caught up in the history, the machismo and the symbolism of the motorbike on Earth. His efforts provide some of the funnier moments in a pretty dark and tense episode, and it's nice to see his lighter, more playful side for once.

Important Plot Arc Points
The Minbari
Arc Level: Red
Again we hear that Sinclair was given command of Babylon 5 at the direct behest of the Minbari government. Why? What is it about this human that would make them want to put him in such a position of power? Is it tied in to his kidnapping at the Battle of the Line? What happened then? And why? I would say all will be revealed, and it will, but not for some time yet.

Bester and the Psi Corps
Arc Level: Red
Again we run into the Psi Corps, and again we hear of Bester's involvement. For once though we are shown a sympathetic telepath, a man who sticks to the rules and is not inherently contemptuous of "mundanes", as the telepaths call those without their gifts. Harriman Gray seems to be a good man, and though he has no choice but to follow his orders, from the start he is critical of the colonel and seems ill-at-ease about the mission.

Bester is said to have assigned him to Ben Zayn, and we know he holds much power in the Psi Corps, so is able to influence some major decisions with Earthforce, including obviously the mission to Babylon 5. There's a clear sense among some that Sinclair is seen as not working in the best interests of Earth, that he is little more than a puppet of the Minbari, and this makes some people in power very nervous.

Finally, what is the true story behind Ivanova's refusal to be scanned? She seems both angry and terrified. What is she hiding? And what did her dream mean, or did it in fact mean anything? The answer to that I can tell you: yes it did and it does, but what exactly we won't find out for a long time.

Free Mars/Rebels
Arc Level: Orange
This is the first real time we hear about a separatist group called Free Mars, who are, not surprisingly, working towards independence for the Red Planet. The planet itself was mentioned briefly in the pilot: we know Sinclair was born there and Laurel Takashima was stationed there with him, and saw the terrible food riots that took place there. Free Mars will become more and more important as the series begins to develop, leading to a massive climax that will only resolve itself in season four.

Quotes
The first hints that Colonel Ben Zayn and Harriman Gray see things differently are evident even in the very first scene, when the conversation between them runs like this:
Ben Zayn: "What do you think?"
Gray: "Most of the personnel will be no trouble. This one, however..."
Ben Zayn: "Anything you can't handle?"
Gray: "I don't have to handle it. Her record's spotless. There's no reason to include her."
Ben Zayn: "That's not your decision. And she will be included. Records don't always tell the whole story. That's one of the reasons you're here, Mr. Gray. Remember?"

Gray tells Ivanova that he wanted to be a fighter pilot, but telepaths are forbidden from serving in the military. So when he got the chance to be attached to the colonel he jumped at the opportunity, telling Ivanova wistfully: "Granted it's not the same as your kind of soldiering but part of a dream is better than none."

Ivanova warns Gray about attempting to scan her: "If you enter my mind for any reason," she tells him "I will twist your head off and use it for a chamberpot!"

Garibaldi reminds Sinclair that they've had to bend the rules over time, and that Ben Zayn may try to use this against the commander: "I know you're a by-the-book kind of guy, but let's face it, we've rewritten the book a few times to make B5 work. Made a few enemies along the way."

Ivanova tells Sinclair how private a thing it is to have another person in your mind: "You can't imagine what it's like. To share your own mother's love for you. To feel it in your thoughts. No one's ever been that close to me, Commander. And no one must ever intrude upon that memory. Especially Psi Corps."

After witnessing Sinclair get his own way against Ben Zayn, Gray admits to Ivanova that "I will long savour the look on the Colonel's face. Not many people are willing to stand up to him. It was very refreshing."

Ben Zayn betrays his feelings about Sinclair: "I've seen plenty like you," he says. "Hotshots promoted through the ranks without any real leadership ability."

Ivanova tells Ben Zayn, when he tells her she must submit to a scan: "The hell I will! Psi Corps may be running the rest of the world but..." She has no idea how close to the truth she will turn out to be.

Sinclair says "I don't like it any more than you do. Enough people have played with my brain already this year!" Obviously referencing both the events which took place in "And the sky full of stars" and no doubt also his suspicions that the Minbari did something to him also.

Garibaldi snaps "Who the hell is running Earthforce? Abbot and Costello?"

Ben Zayn, watching a clip of the Vorlon ship destroying Deathwalker's craft, muses "These Vorlons have been trouble ever since they arrived." When things get a bit more involved, that seemingly offhand comment will take on a whole new impact.

Ben Zayn loses it against Sinclair: "I deserved this command, but thanks to those damn Minbari you got it! I know all about you and the Minbari, but you won't be doing their bidding much longer. I'm commander of Babylon 5 now, and all your lies won't change that!"

When Garibaldi sees that not only has Lennier completely rebuilt the motorbike, and installed a workable power source so that he can actually ride it, he breathes "Get out of here!" Lennier, thinking he has given offence and taking Garibaldi literally, goes to leave, before the security chief calls him back.

QUESTIONS?
Just how high up the echelons of command has Bester got his grip? If he could influence an attempt to remove Sinclair from command of Babylon 5, his reach must be long indeed...

Did Ivanova actually sense Gray scanning her in the lounge, or did she just reason it out from what he was saying? And if she did sense it, what inescapable conclusion does that lead us to?

Interesting point: Harriman Gray is played by Jeffrey Combs, who all Star Trek fans will know as both the Vorta Weyoun and the Ferengi Regulator Brunt, in "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine".

Another interesting point; well, an observation really. An episode like this just screams "clip show!" and I was delighted that JMS did not go down that route. It would have been very easy, for example, to have had clips of "By any means necessary" when Ben Zayn is quizzing Sinclair about the dockers' strike, and to fill up the episode that way. And who would have blamed him? But no, not one single clip is seen in the whole episode, the incidents only referred to. And for that I lavish great praise upon the writer and creator of Babylon 5, for not taking the easy, and expected, way out.

1.16 "Legacies"

New character: Alit Neroon, played by John Vickery. Although he does not feature in every or even most episodes, Neroon becomes Delenn's nemesis, leading the warrior caste essentially in opposition to her and the religious caste. His plots and plans will spell dark days for his people, and place in jeopardy the fragile truce that has existed between humans and Minbari since the end of the war.
http://www.scifiupdates.com/main/ima.../b5/neroon.jpg

The body of one of Minbar's greatest war leaders, and the one who led the attack at the Battle of the Line, is touring the sector following his death, and comes to Babylon 5 where all the usual honours are expected. However, the ship carrying the Shai Alit arrives with its gun ports open, a clear sign of aggression, and things almost get out of hand. It turns out though that approaching with open gun ports is seen by the Minbari as a gesture of respect, something we will learn more about later on. Delenn seems perturbed by the way Branmer's body is being displayed, saying she does not believe the leader would have wanted this, but his clan demanded it.

A vagrant on the station turns out to be a latent telepath, and Talia and Ivanova engage in a tug-of-war, the former wanting to advise Psi Corps and have the girl taken into their custody, to be properly trained, while Ivanova seeks for another path for the young girl. The leader of the Minbari delegation, Alit Neroon, is a haughty, almost openly hostile individual who seems to have nothing but contempt for the humans, and appear to be just looking for a reason for a fight. He baits Sinclair but the commander is able to keep his temper, with some diplomatic intervention from Delenn. However when the body of the Shai Alit goes missing, Neroon threatens to destroy the station if it is not returned.

Sinclair discusses the disappearance with Delenn, who points out that although the Minbari revere Branmer, other races do not: she reminds the commander of his reaction when he initially heard of the visit. She tells him that the warleader was a priest, a member of the religious caste, and would have abhorred such a display. She shows once again that she disapproves, at least in private, of the spectacle Neroon and the Star Riders are making of his death. Sinclair tells her that he has heard it was the religious caste who ordered the surrender at the Battle of the Line, and Delenn confirms this, saying that the warrior caste did not agree with it, but they obeyed. For many, it still festers like a wound, a badge of dishonour they have to carry.

Ivanova makes sure Alisa Beldon, the latent telepath, sees both sides; as Talia Winters tries to woo her with tales of the Psi Corps "looking after its own", she tells the story of her mother to the shocked young woman, who begins to wonder about her choices, and that they may not be as clear-cut as she had at first thought. Meanwhile a piece of Branmer's burial robe has been found in the Pak'Mara's quarters. The Pak'mara are carrion eaters, and Garibaldi orders that they have their stomachs pumped! Na'Toth in the meantime is trying to woo Alisa to her side; the Narn have no telepaths of their own, and she is trying to reinstate the offer G'Kar made to Lyta Alexander in the pilot episode. But looking into Na'Toth's mind Alisa sees what Narn, the world and the people, are like, and shrinks back.

The contents of the Pak'Maras' stomachs have been pumped but there is no sign of Minbari remains there. Neroon threatens to destroy the station, as the search is going nowhere. Ivanova brings Alisa to Delenn, who explains that unlike the Narn, who would pay her for her services, or the Psi Corps, who would look after her financially but control her totally, on her planet telepaths are revered and respected. While there though she inadvertently looks into Delenn's mind and sees a clue to the missing body in her mind. She tells Ivanova and she calls Garibaldi. He in turn sends Alisa to Sinclair, and it turns out that Delenn has stolen the body herself, in an attempt to make it seem like a transfiguration, a miraculous metamorphosis of Branmer's body into a higher form. She had the body cremated so it could not be found, in respect of her friend who had asked for a simple funeral, and did not want to be a monument to war. She could not stand the way his wishes were trampled over in the name of politics and war.

Delenn worries that the rift that has developed between the religious and warrior castes will explode if news of what she has done becomes public, and Sinclair agrees to keep her secret. However Neroon is told, but Delenn chides him for not honouring the Shai Alit's final wish, and threatens to expose him and his clan. She speaks with the authority of the Grey Council, telling him he will support her story of a "miraculous transfiguration", and he knows he has no choice but to obey. Perhaps pushing it a little, she also orders Neroon to apologise, in private, to Sinclair. Sinclair however manages to sweeten the pill, by offering to send a message of tribute to Branmer, which impresses the Minbari Alit as well as taking him somewhat by surprise.

Alisa Beldon decides to go to Minbar, where Delenn's people will train her and hope to utilise her as a bridge between humans and Minbari. Before she leaves though, she tells Sinclair that in addition to seeing the truth about Branmer's missing body in Delenn's mind, she also saw one word: chrysalis. She doesn't know what it means, she says, but the ambassador shut right down when she saw it, so it must be important, and something she doesn't want anyone to know about.


Important Plot Arc Points:
Minbari castes
Arc Level: Orange
This is not the first time we have heard of the social divisions between the Minbari, but it goes a little deeper into explaining the relationship between both. In fact, as we will learn much later, there are three castes: warrior, religious and worker, but for the first two seasons at least we concentrate on the first two. The warrior caste were of course the ones who led the attack on Earth, but it was the religious caste, who appear to be the ones in control and authority, who ordered the surrender. The warrior caste have never forgotten this, and the resentment will come to a head in season three. Here though we meet one of the warrior caste, one who will become a recurring character and feature prominently if only on the sidelines. Alit Neroon is a typical warrior: proud, self-confident, pushy and contemptuous of anyone else. He believes strength comes through conflict, and if he had his way he would have destroyed the humans at the Battle of the Line.

Delenn of course is religious caste, but being a member of the ruling Grey Council she has superiority over Neroon and his caste, and the Alit must obey her in all things. She however does overstep her bounds in cremating Branmer's body; truth to tell, it's never made clear if this is a personal decision or if it's sanctioned by the Council, but as she says later that she speaks for the Grey Council we must imagine she has had contact with them and received, if not their blessing, then at least their tacit approval for her act. She takes quite a risk though: had Neroon not bowed to her authority and decided to challenge her, the consequences could indeed have been grave.

We will see more of the widening rift between the castes, and what it means for the rest of the galaxy, as the series develops. We will of course also learn more of the inner workings of the shadowy conclave known as the Grey Council.

"Chrysalis"
Arc Level: Red
Though it will in fact be explained at the end of the season (the final episode is after all called "Chrysalis") the full impact of what Alisa saw in Delenn's mind, and what it means, will only really become clear as season two gets underway. It will lead to a radical and fundamental shift in the relationship between human and Minbari.


Quotes
Neroon to Sinclair: "Impetuous. Is this how you reacted on the Line, Commander?"
Sinclair: "This isn't the Line."
Neroon: "No. We were in control there."

Neroon: "Branmer's death was a great sorrow to us. To lose the vessel of his soul will bring his clan's fury upon you!"
Sinclair: "Are you threatening to make war over this?"
Neroon: "That is how the last one started, with the murder of Ducat!"
Garibaldi: "That was a tragic accident".
Neroon: "And if this is another such "accident"..."

Garibaldi quizzes Na'Toth as to her involvement in the disappearance. She smirks "The Narn Regime has accomplished many things in its glorious past, but bodysnatching is not one of them. Why don't you try the alien sector? I'm sure you can find someone there with an interest in dead bodies."
Garibaldi: "Oh no. Not the carrion eaters!"
Na'Toth: "Bon appetit!"

Na'Toth is concerned about Alisa's sudden headaches, given that she hopes to persuade her to come to Narn with her.
Na'Toth: "I hope that isn't a sign of some frailty."
Ivanova: "Why don't you check her teeth while you're at it?"
Na'Toth: "Do you think that's a good idea?"
Ivanova: "I suggest you leave, Na'Toth, promptly. You've made your offer."
Na'Toth: "Tell her I'll expect her answer soon." (aside to Ivanova) "Good idea about the teeth!"

Franklin: "By the way, do you know what they (the Pak'Mara) say Narn tastes like?"
Sinclair: "Yeah. Chicken. Man, I really need a vacation!"

Sinclair: "If security has to take this place apart and put it back together again they will!"
Neroon: "If Mr. Garibaldi fails in his search I may find it necessary to have my ship assume the job of taking this place apart!"
Sinclair: "I don't take kindly to threats."
Neroon: "I do not make threats, Commander!"

Ivanova to Alisa: "They (the Narn) make slaves of their victims and they'll probably try to make one of you too. A little like the Psi Corps."

Neroon's ordered apology to Sinclair: "There was no cause for me to attack you Commander, even less cause for me to threaten this station. I am ashamed to admit that my feelings for the Shai Alit led me to act improperly."
Sinclair: "There is no shame in wanting to honour him, Alit Neroon. I fought on the Line against Branmer. I saw his valour and leadership firsthand. Because his body ... disappeared ... while here I feel some sort of responsibility towards the Minbari people. There is no higher testimony to a warrior's courage and skill than praise from his enemy. I would like to send that message to your homeworld, in a personal message, a testimony to the Shai Alit."
Neroon: "You would do this as an Earthforce officer?"
Sinclair: "And as commander of Babylon 5."
Neroon (bows): "That is a great kindness."
Sinclair: "We've fought long enough. Maybe it's time we started talking with one another. Branmer's life was more significant than his battles. Let the warrior caste praise him for his courage in the war, and let the rest praise him for what he truly was: a man of peace."
Neroon: "You talk like a Minbari, Commander. Perhaps there was some small wisdom in letting your species survive."

QUESTIONS?
Did Delenn actually speak for the Grey Council, or were her actions her own? Was her act sanctioned by them, and if not, would they have supported it? How much power exactly does she wield?

What is chrysalis, and what does it mean?

http://s5.postimg.org/l2hbe8uon/darkstar.jpg

Title: Dark Star
Year: 1974
Genre: Science-Fiction/Black Comedy
Starring: Dan O'Bannon as Sergeant Pinback
Brian Larelle as Lieutenant Doolittle
Cal Kuniholm as Boiler
Dre Pahich as Talby
Joe Saunders as Commander Powell
Adam Beckenbaugh as Bomb Number Twenty
Director: John Carpenter
Writer: Dan O'Bannon and John Carpenter

The directorial debut of the legendary John Carpenter, Dark Star also became the inspiration for the series Red Dwarf, and is one of the few science-fiction movies of any era that successfully blends sci-fi tropes with dark comedy. Filmed on a real shoestring budget of about sixty thousand dollars, it's gone down in history as a cult movie, and if you haven't seen it then you really need to. I'm reliably informed it's even better when you're stoned, but I wouldn't know about that. It's also one of the first movies to tackle the thorny issue of isolation in space and the boredom that could and surely will engender.

The basic plot of the movie concerns the scout ship "Dark Star", which is crewed by five, one of whom is dead. Wait, I will explain shortly. The mission of the ship is to seek out unstable planets which could cause a problem to following colony ships, and destroy them by dropping huge thermostellar bombs on them from space. These planets are few and far between, and the crew have been doing this now for twenty years. Cooped up together with no real privacy and no respite from the unremitting tedium of deep space, they have all in their own way turned peculiar, as each seeks out his own way to combat the mind-numbing boredom and the sameness of every day.

As the movie opens we see a communication coming in from Earth (eighteen parsecs away) in which a member of the brass (NASA or some military agency; we don't know) sympathises with the crew over the loss of their Commander due to a radiation leak. Unbelievably, the general or whatever he is tells them that their request for radiation shielding has been denied, even in the knowledge of the accident which has already claimed one of the crew. Cutbacks in Congress are blamed, and the prohibitive cost of sending a shuttle out to where they are cannot, he says, be justified.

Whether anyone was watching or has heard this transmission is unclear, as next we see the ship slip into orbit around a planet which may be a candidate for destruction. We see the guys, three of them, all working in a very cramped space getting details and data on the planet to ascertain its possibility of contributing to a risk factor: the fourth member of the crew, Talby, sit high above the ship in an observation dome, like the gun turret blisters on World War II bombers. The data confirms the planet is, or could become, unstable and so they drop a thermostellar bomb on it, which completely obliterates it, leaving the way clear for following colonisation ships. The bombs seem to be imbued with some rudimentary intelligence, and Sergeant Pinback talks to Bomb number 19 as he readies it for the drop. Once the bomb leaves the ship, "Dark Star" goes into hyperdrive to take the guys out of the blast zone.

The computer informs them that they have destroyed the last unstable planet in this solar system, and they look for their next target. Lieutenant Doolittle, acting commander of the vessel with the death of Powell, seems eager to find another planet they can destroy, and Boiler, another crewman tasked with finding targets, directs them to the Veil Nebula. Doolittle goes to see Talby, and tells him he's concerned that he's isolating himself too much from the rest of the crew, spending all his time in his observation dome. Talby says he doesn't like going down since the commander was killed. Talby tells Doolittle that he is looking forward to seeing a phenomenon called the Phoenix Asteroids, a body of asteroids that circle the universe every twelve trillion years.

Doolittle reveals that what he misses most is surfing. He used to be a great surfer. Boiler amuses himself by shooting things with the only onboard laser rifle, target practice. As Pinback tackles him about it, the computer informs him that it is time for him to feed "the alien", a task Pinback is not looking forward to. Seems some time back the sergeant took the alien onboard as a mascot, and now it is his responsibility to look after it. However when he goes to feed it the alien, resembling nothing more than a brightly-coloured beach ball on legs, is more in the mood for playing, and jumps on his back. He wrestles it off but it gets into the corridor, and when he goes back to get a broom to shoo it back in, it is gone.

After it leads him a merry chase, including a totally hilarious scene where he gets stuck in an elevator, Pinback shoots the alien with a tranquiliser gun, but it shoots across the room like a punctured balloon, and Doolittle later wonders how anything could live if it was only filled with gas? The others aren't interested, though Talby for once shows some leadership qualities and comes down into the main ship, trying to trace the source of the malfunction he detected. Pinback tells the guys that he really isn't the man whose suit he wears: he was refuelling the ship when a naked astronaut ran past him and jumped into a barrel of liquid rocket fuel. Donning the man's discarded suit he tried to save the guy but before he could, he was bundled aboard "Dark Star", and has been here ever since. The guys aren't impressed, as this is not the first time Pinback has told them this story.

Talby calls Doolittle to let him know he has traced the source of the malfunction but it is near the airlock, so he has to put on a spacesuit to investigate. Pinback reviews his personal log, running through entries in which he again recounts the story that he is not Sergeant Pinback at all. He says his real name is Phil Frugge, a maintenance tech. He also talks about Commander Powell's death, complains about Doolittle taking over command, and the others treating him shabbily. He then makes a new entry, again complaining about his treatment and remarking that last week was his birthday and nobody noticed.
https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/i...7dgQsopBh_sLng
All right, that'll do. Nothing to see here. Turn back unless you want the ending of the film ruined. Yeah, I'm talkin' to you...
https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/i...v0_K7VyfA4PtUg But you proceed now at your own risk...
The ship arrives at the planet they've been heading towards in the Veil Nebula, and Pinback prepares and arms the bomb. But Talby is in the airlock and tries to tell them that the communication laser, which monitors the bomb drop mechanism, is damaged. Doolittle, concentrating on blowing up the planet, snaps off the com in irritation and the laser goes off, blinding Talby, and he stumbles into the path of the beam, breaking communications between the bomb and its mechanism. When the guys try to drop the already-armed bomb it does not separate from the ship. Suddenly a task which has become mundane, boring, automatic becomes anything but, as the crew scramble to fix the malfunction.

Doolittle orders the bomb to abort its countdown but it will not, and the computer advises them that it has activated dampers which will contain the blast to an area of one mile. With no other ideas, Doolittle revives the commander, who has been kept in a state of cryogenic stasis, to seek his advice. The commander tells Doolittle that he must speak to the bomb, teach it phenomenology. So he goes out in a spacesuit and has an existential conversation with the bomb, while Boiler hits upon the idea of using the laser rifle to shoot out the supporting pins on the bomb and save the ship. Pinback doesn't trust him and tries to stop him. As the two fight, word comes from the computer that the bomb has returned to the bay. Doolittle has been successful.

However, when he tries to re-enter via the rear airlock, Talby, who is still in there, gets blown out and into space. Doolittle goes after him, just as the bomb announces that it has figured out that it is God, and explodes. The two guys on the ship die instantly but Talby is sucked into the approaching Phoenix Asteroids: he will circle the universe as part of them, forever. That leaves Doolittle, who is falling towards the planet they were supposed to destroy. As he falls, he grabs a piece of debris from the ship and using it as a surfboard, rides the last wave of his life down into the planet's atmosphere.



QUOTES

Earth Official: "Sorry to hear about the radiation leak. And real sorry to hear about the death of Commander Powell. There was a week of mourning here on Earth. We're all behind you guys. About your request for radiation shielding: sorry to report this has been denied. I hate to send bad news when you guys are up there doing such a swell job, but I think you'll take it in the proper spirit. There's been some cutbacks in Congress and right now, considering the distance we just can't afford to send a cargo shuttle out there to you. But I know you guys will make do. Keep up the good work, men!"

Pinback: "Sergeant Pinback calling Bomb Number number 19, do you read me, Bomb?"
Bomb 19: "Bomb number 19 to Sergeant Pinback, I read you. Continue."
Pinback: "Well, Bomb, we have about sixty seconds to drop. Just wondering if everything's all right. You checked your platinum duridium energy shiedling?" (Note: the actual shielding name may be wrong; I'm guessing at the words here as Pinback's delivery is laconic and bored)
Bomb 19: "Energy shielding positive function."
Pinback: "Well, let's synchronise detonation time. Uh, you wouldn't happen to know when you're supposed to go off, would you?"
Bomb 19: "Six minutes, twenty seconds."
Pinback: "All right, that checks out here. Arm yourself, Bomb."
Bomb 19: "Armed."
Pinback: "Well then everything sounds fine. Dropping you off in about thirty five seconds. Good luck."
Bomb 19: "Thanks!"

Doolittle: "What now? What do you have for us Boiler?"
Boiler: "Uh, not much. Nothing at all in this sector."
Doolittle: "Well find me something. I don't care where it is."
Boiler: "Well I show a 95% possibility of intelligent life in the Horsehead Nebula sector."
Doolittle: "Don't give me that kind of bull!"
Boiler: "I know it's a long shot but..."
Doolittle: "Damn wild goose chase, is what it is! Remember when Commander Powell found that 99 plus probabilty of intelligent life in the Magellanic Cloud? Remember what we found? A damn mindless vegetable: looked like a limp balloon. Fourteen light years for a vegetable! Don't give me any of that intelligent life stuff! Find me something I can blow up!"

Doolittle (recording the ship's video log): "Storage Area 9 self-destructed last week, and destroyed the ship's entire supply of toilet paper."

Talby: "Doolittle, I do have a malfunction on this readout but I can't pinpoint it exactly."
Doolittle: "Don't worry about it. We'll find out what it is when it goes bang."

Boiler: "What's Talby's first name?"
Doolittle: "What's my first name?"

Logscreen: "For official purposes this recording instrument automatically deletes all offensive language and/or gestures".

Doolittle: "Commander Powell, this is Doolittle. Something serious has come up. I need to ask you a question."
Powell: "I'm glad you've come to talk with me, Doolittle. It's been so long since anyone came to talk with me."
Doolittle: "Commander, Sir, we have a big problem. The Veil Nebula bomb, number 20: it's stuck. It won't drop out of the bomb bay. It refuses to listen and it plans on detonating in (checks watch) less than eleven minutes!"
Powell: "Doolittle, you must tell me one thing."
Doolittle: "What's that, Sir?"
Powell: "Tell me, Doolittle, how are the Dodgers doing?"
Doolittle: "Uh, the Dodgers? They, uh, they broke up. They disbanded, over fifteen years ago."
Powell: "Ah. Pity. Pity."
Doolittle: "But you don't understand, Sir! We can't get the bomb to drop!"
Powell: "Ah. So many problems. Why don't you have anything nice to tell me when you activate me? Did you try the Asimov approach?"
Doolittle: "Yes Sir. Negative effect."
Powell: "What was that, Doolittle?"
Doolittle: "Negative effect, Sir."
Powell: "It didn't work?"
Doolittle: "That's correct, Sir."
Powell: "Sorry Doolittle. I've forgotten so much since I've been in here. So much..."
Doolittle: "What should we do Sir? Time is running out!"
Powell: "Well, you might try ---"
A sudden power surge cuts communications for a few moments and Powell's voice is lost. Doolittle desperately tries to restore contact.
Doolittle: "Commander? Commander Powell? Sorry Sir, you faded out there for a little bit. What was that you were saying about the bomb?"
Powell: "Sorry Doolittle. I've gone blank. Hold it.. I'll have it again in just a few minutes. It seems to me ... sorry ... I forget so many things in here ... So many things ..."
Doolittle: "Commander Sir? You stil there?"
Powell: "Oh yes Doolittle. Sorry. I'm thinking..."
Doolittle: "We're running out of time Sir!"
Powell: "Oh yes. Sorry. Well, Doolittle, if you can't get it to drop, you'll have to talk to it. "
Doolittle: "What?"
Powell: "Talk to the bomb."
Doolittle: "But I have been talking to it, Sir. Pinback's talking to it right now."
Powell: "No, no. You talk to it. Teach it phenomenology, Doolittle."
Doolittle: "Sir?"
Powell: "Phenomenology."

Doolittle: "Hello? Bomb? Are you with me?"
Bomb 20: "Of course."
Doolittle: "Are you willing to entertain a few concepts?"
Bomb 20: "I am always receptive to suggestions."
Doolittle: "Think about this then: how do you know you exist?"
Bomb 20: "Well of course I exist."
Doolittle: "But how do you know?"
Bomb 20: "It is intuitively obvious."
Doolittle: "Intuition is no proof. What concrete evidence do you have that you exist?"
Bomb 20: Well... I think, therefore I am."
Doolittle: "That's good. That's very good. But how do you know that everything else exists?"
Bomb 20: "My sensory apparatus reveals it to me."
Doolittle: "Right."
Bomb 20: "This is fun!"
Doolittle: "Okay now listen: this is the big question. How do you know that the evidence your sensory apparatus reveals to you is correct? What I'm getting at is this: the only experience that is directly available to you is the evidence your sensory data, and this sensory data is merely a stream of electrical impulses that stimulates your computing centre."
Bomb 20: "In other words, all that I really know about the outside world is relayed to me through my electrical connections."
Doolittle: "Exactly."
Bomb 20: "Why, that would mean that I don't really know what the outside universe is like at all for certain."
Doolittle: "That's it!"
Bomb 20: "Intriguing. I wish I had more time to discuss this matter."
Doolittle: "Why don't you have more time?"
Bomb 20: "Because I must detonate in seventy-five seconds."
Doolittle: "Now, bomb, consider this next question very carefully: what is your one purpose in life?"
Bomb 20: "To explode, of course."
Doolittle: "And you can only do it once, right?"
Bomb 20: "That is correct."
Doolittle: "And you wouldn't want to explode on the basis of false data, would you?"
Bomb 20: "Of course not."
Doolittle: "Well then: you've already admitted that you have no real proof of the existence of the outside universe?"
Bomb 20: "Yes... Well..."
Doolittle: "So you have no absolute proof that Sergeant Pinback ordered you to detonate."
Bomb 20: "I recall distinctly the detonation order. My memory is very good on matters such as these."
Doolittle: "Of course you remember it. But all you remember is a series of electonic impulses which you now realise has no definite connection with outside reality."
Bomb 20: "True. But since this is so, I have no proof that you are really telling me all of this."
Doolittle: "That's all beside the point. I mean, the concept is valid no matter where it originates."
Bomb 20: "Hmm."
Doolittle: "So if you detonate in ---"
Bomb 20: "Nine seconds".
Doolittle: "You could be doing so on the basis of false data."
Bomb 20: "I have no proof it was false data."
Doolittle: "You have no proof it was correct data!"
Bomb 20: "I must think on this further."

Bomb 20: "In the beginning there was darkness, and the darkness was without form, and void. And in addition to the darkness there was also me. And I moved on the face of the darkness, and I saw that I was alone. Let there be light."

Doolittle; "Talby? Looks like I'm headed for the planet. I'm going towards it."
Talby: "When you hit the atmosphere you'll begin to burn. What a beautiful way to die, as a falling star!"

Why do I love this film?

When this came out, 1974, there was at the time no real concept of humour in sci-fi, at least in films. Science-fiction movies, before the advent of "Star Wars", were almost always dark, often scary affairs with marauding aliens and usually bad endings. Many portrayed the futility of believing Man was the dominant force in the galaxy, and showed us just how small and unimportant we are. Then you had the old classics, like "This island Earth," "The day the Earth stood still", "Forbidden planet", all that sort of thing. Sci-fi, we were taught, was serious, and not something to be taken lightly.

Then this movie came around, and for the first time ever I personally began to see that space, though hard and unforgiving a mistress certainly, was not devoid of the odd cosmic joke. The fact that this movie both takes its subject matter seriously and laughs at it too is quite a feat. Mostly it's the characters the script lampoons: the men who try to fill up their boring humdrum lives with irrelevancies in order to get through another day. No doubt when they signed up for this mission they envisaged great romance and adventure among the stars, but quickly found it to be nothing of the sort. It's lonely, it's cold, there's nothing to do and there is no way back.

This movie is also the first directorial effort of the eminent John Carpenter, who would of course go on to direct so many great horror movies, such as "It" and "The Thing", and its story both formed the basis for the sci-fi comedy cult series "Red Dwarf" and for the later, far from funny space horror "Alien". It's pretty much a two-man show, with Carpenter co-writing, directing, composing and playing the music and producing, while Dan O'Bannon co-writes, stars in and creates most of the special effects.

This movie would also have a huge impact on future sci-fi movies, from the aforementioned "Alien" to "Star Wars", which would use the spinning hyperspace effect a few years later. Even the dark, doomy amd spacey music, made mostly by Carpenter on synthesisers, would find its way into "Red Dwarf"'s first and second season.

I love the characters, flawed as they are. The portrayal of the four main characters as inherently just ordinary guys working away at their job was also quite fresh. Up to this, sci-fi protagonists had generally --- with a few exceptions --- been square-jawed heroes challenging the cosmos. These guys are essentially four hippies, none of whom are particularly interested in their job after twenty years doing the same thing --- but where are they going to go? --- and one of them maintains he's someone else entirely. A quick profile of each follows:

Lieutenant Doolittle: A man who would much rather be surfing off Malibu than exploring deep space, Doolittle has acclimated to his job by developing a single-minded fascination with, and desire to blow up planets. He doesn't particularly care where they are, he just wants to destroy them. Still, when the chips are down he proves he can still hold a philosophical argument --- even with an intelligent bomb. Well, in fairness his life and the lives of everyone else depend on it. It's good to see though that he earns a kind of redemption, although the commander's plan backfires.

Sergeant Pinback: Says his real name is Bill Frugge, and tells a story of how he was mistaken for the astronaut and now finds himself in space with people he does not know, whom he doesn't like and who don't like him. He seems to be the butt of jokes, certainly the odd man out and yet when he has to he performs his duty admirably. He it is who insisted on bringing the alien creature onboard, and who inadventently kills it. He makes video diaries and complains about his treatment at the hands of the other crewmembers.

Talby (Rank, if any, unknown): Talby is a loner, spends all his time in the observation dome watching the stars. He is nevertheless the most diligent of the crew, the only one to recognise and then investigate the malfunction that leads to the bomb getting stuck in the ship's bay, and leads eventually to the destruction of the "Dark Star". He is also blinded by the laser as he tries to fix it and then blown out of the airlock, where the passing Phoenix Asteroids take him with them.

Boiler: (Rank, if any, unknown): Seeming to be the lowest in rank on the ship, Boiler is like a refugee from a heavy metal concert, and spends his spare time using the ship's only weapon to shoot targets. He tries to save the ship by shooting out the bomb's holding pins but Pinback, with little faith in his marksmanship, stops him.

In the end I love this movie because it's so different, or it was for the time. It bucked the accepted trend at the time for sci-fi movies, injected dark humour for the first time into one of these types of movies, set a template for much of what was to follow and it showed us that Man is capable of ****ing up even twenty parsecs from his home planet. There's a strong argument, to my mind, for the damage to the communications laser having been caused by Boiler. He has already shown he likes to shoot at things, and it doesn't matter whether he's supposed to or not. The faceplate of the door to the laser shows evidednce of some sort of burn: a shot from a laser rifle?

As a first movie for John Carpenter this hardly set the world alight or put his name up in lights, but I certainly believe it's an important and indispensable part of science-fiction canon. A cult classic that again, like "Dust Devil", previously reviewed, deserves to be better known than it is.

http://www.thechestnut.com/onedin/start2.jpg

Season One, Episode One

"The wind blows free"

Returning from a long voyage experienced ship captain James Onedin is incensed to find that he will not be earning his captain's bonus, as some of his cargo, oranges picked up in Seville, Spain, has spoiled. This, he tells his boss, shipowner Thomas Callon, is because the ship "sprung for'ard" (sprung a leak in the forward deck) and the water destroyed the fruit. Callon holds him responsible, saying that had he not driven the ship so hard the leak may not have occurred, but Onedin counters by reminding Callon that he always demands a fast passage and that furthermore, the captain had called to the owner's notice the fact that the ship was riddled with woodworm, but that Callon ignored it. Callon, however, takes this as further proof of James's culpability: how could he set to sea in a ship so damaged?

On the way out of Callon's office, James notices a for-sale sign advertising a ship, and in a sudden rush of inspiration --- mixed, no doubt, with a healthy dose of anger and burgeoning ambition ---- he tears it off the wall and takes it with him. Questioning his brother Robert back at his chandler's shop, he learns the seller, a Captain Webster, has taken to the bottle and should expect to get a low price for the ship, which is not the best of bargains anyway. He also finds out that Webster has an unmarried daughter who looks after him, and a plan begins to form in his devious mind. He asks Robert to come in with him on the purchase of the ship --- a partnership. When Robert asks what in, he tells his brother he intends to use the ship for a trading voyage which will return Robert's investment, but the chandler is dismayed, saying that the ship, the Charlotte Rhodes, is fit only for hauling coal, if that. James points out she was built by Frazer's shipyards, and that he builds ships to last.

When James, trying to convince Robert to not only part with the money but, in doing so, put up his shop as collateral, sees a broken wine cask on the floor he has a brainwave, and tells Robert that he intends to snatch the big wine contract Callon has with Braganza, the Portuguese wine merchant from whom he has just come. Robert is again aghast: how can James think of taking on a behemoth like Callon, who has the wine trade sewn up? Even if he somehow could, he warns James that Callon would "neither forget nor forgive". James, though, is looking at an opportunity not only to make money, and his mark, but to rub his ex-employer's nose in his new success, and he is on fire with the idea.

He goes to look over the ship, then proceeds on to Webster's house, to discuss the sale of the schooner. Unfortunately for him, the captain remembers that Onedin's late father cut off his credit at the chandler shop, and he is not well disposed towards the son of the man whom, he says, allowed his ships to rot. James names a price much lower than the asking, and Webster explodes, but it is clear that it is his daughter, Anne who is the one driving the negotiations and she can see a way. She proposes marriage, with the ship given as a dowry, and though James is wary of the idea, he realises this is the only way he can get the Charlotte Rhodes and agrees. His family are less happy at the idea, but the deed is done.

James approaches Robert again, asking him to go into partnership with him. This time, he says over his brother's protestations, it will cost him nothing and he shall share in half of the profits of the voyage, and so, unable to see a catch, Robert agrees. Anne is less than happy until James explains to her that he intends to make money from the agency of the goods he returns, not the goods themselves. Robert is not entitled to any share of the profits from the agency, only the goods, and anyway, he has also signed up unwittingly to shoulder the debts James has accumulated. When it comes time to pay his crew, or rather, pay their wives back on land while James is at sea, it will be Robert who will have to put his hand in his pocket, a pocket which may very well be empty by the time James returns!

Meanwhile, Callon, Onedin's former employer, believes he knows what Onedin is up to. The Braganza contact is due for renewal, and he has seen that James bought the schooner Charlotte Rhodes and is even now having her readied for sailing. He sends a spy to find out when she is due to depart, and reacts by sending one of his fastest clippers to Lisbon, to beat James there and have the contract inked before the Charlotte Rhodes has even made it into port. Albert Frazer, son of the shipbuilder, comes aboard the ship, ostensibly to offer his congratulations on the upcoming marriage of Anne and James, but it's clearly a ploy to enable him to see the youngest Onedin, Elizabeth, who is smitten with him as soon as she sees him. James tells him that he has no chance: his sister is engaged to Daniel Fogarty, a ship's Mate who is due back soon, but Frazer mentions that should Onedin help him win Elizabeth's affections, an alliance with the biggest shipbuilder in Liverpool could surely be to his advantage. Cogs begin to whir in James's mind once again.

James arrives in Lisbon, and joins Callon and Senor Braganza, where the wine merchant has been given the offer of a pretty unbelievable discount to induce him to sign the new contact, but no matter how much he drops the price he can't better Onedin's, because the newcomer says he will carry all Braganza's wine free. Callon can't believe it and thinks his ex-captain has taken leave of his senses. Onedin however requests that, as part of the new contract Braganza signs with him, the Lisbon merchant makes him his sole representative in England. In addition, James will collect and ship all of Braganza's empty wine casks back to him. It is here he intends to make a profit, by helping Braganza cut out the hassle of paying several different shippers to return the casks and instead having to deal only with one person. Delighted at the bold new offer, Braganza agrees, and James has his first customer. In addition, as he intended, he has sweetened the taste of victory by snatching one of Callon's oldest and most important clients from under the shipowner's nose.

The last lines in this episode are telling, and speak volumes of James Onedin's unbridled ambition and unshakeable faith in himself. When he tells Braganza that he will collect all the wine merchant's empty wine casks in his warehouse, and Braganza, interested, leans forward and asks "Oh? You have a warehouse?" Onedin's confident reply is "I will have."



QUOTES
James: "The ship that will drive into the wind has yet to be built!" Here, Onedin is explaining to Callon how all sailors, no matter their experience, are at the mercy of the wind as there are only sailing ships on the sea. His comment however presages a change coming, when steam, only in its infancy in the closing decades of the nineteeth century, will emerge as a superior alternative to sail.

James: "One day I'll give you a lesson in business, Mister Callon." Perhaps surprising even himself, James will fulfil this prophecy sooner than he expects.

James (to Anne): "You should know that in matters of business, I give nothing away!"

James (about himself): "Oh aye: ambition enough for an army of Napoleons!"

Callon (about Onedin): "By god, I'll drive him off the high seas!"

Anne: "Ive less desire for widowhood than spinsterhood, James. We sink or swim together."

James: "If men married for beauty alone, there'd be a power of lonely women in the world."

Braganza: "Where does a man in my position place his trust? That is the question I must ask. In you, Senor? In all the years of our business your rates have always gone up, never once come down. Until now. Suddenly, you will serve me at any price. But is it to serve me? I think not. To drive new competition, with new ideas of service, off the seas: that is I think your intention. But when the competition is no more, what will happen to your charges then?"

A LIFE ON THE OCEAN WAVE
Despite its romantic connotations, life at sea was, certainly in the nineteenth century, a hard business. The pay was not great, and the dangers were. Seamen could expect to be treated harshly and with little or no attention to their comfort, not to say their safety, with the bosun or Mate barking orders at them like a Sergeant Major at drill time. In this section I'll be looking at how tough a life it was when you decided to sign onboard a ship, the dangers you could face and the rewards, if any, that there were.

It becomes clear that, as there is nowhere to spend your wages at sea --- unless it's a long voyage and you stop off somewhere --- seamen's wages are paid directly to their wives, back onshore. This may seem an odd thing, out of keeping with the tenets of the nineteeth century, where men controlled the purse strings and women had to ask for an allowance for the house, but it makes perfect sense. A life at sea is a dangerous business, and many men do not come back. While they're away, at least their families can eat and pay their bills, though it is seen later than should a man die while on a voyage, the callous rules of the time state that his wife (now his widow) only gets paid up to the day he died. Pragmatic, yes, but hard.

It will also be seen later that, far from keeping the household going and keeping body and soul together, like many who struggle and once a month get a wage, many of the wives spend more of their husband's salary in the pub than in the grocers. Some things never change.

This idea though of paying the wives while the men are at sea would seem to suggest that the women then were in something of a position unique to their sistern, being the ones with money and a level of power, and so possibly more independent than, say, the wife of a carter or a publican. Of course, they also stood to lose the most, as if their husband were to die at sea they would be poorhouse-bound, and this fear usually resulted in an anxious wait and vigil once the ship their man was serving aboard was sighted on its way home. Mind you, survival was not the only thing they wished for: should their breadwinner come home injured, crippled or otherwise unable to set sail again, their lives could easily take as bad a turn as if he had been lost at sea, for there was no home for old sailors, and few jobs these men could do, or would be hired to do.

FAMILY
At its heart, "The Onedin Line" is a family saga, centred around the eponymous family but also brining in the Frazers and the Callons as well as others. As the series progresses I'll be delving into the relationship between both the family members in one clan and their impact on others they come into contact with, whether as allies or rivals, sometimes bitter enemies, sometimes the one turning quickly to the other.

ANNE
Showing herself to be something of a breaker of moulds for a nineteenth-century single lady, it is Anne who drives James to promise to marry her, in return for getting the ship at his asking price, and with the addition of her becoming, through the wedding, an equal partner in the venture. She puts it pragmatically thus: "I've little taste for penury (poverty): one day my father's weakness will assuredly drive him to his grave and I shall be left penniless. At best I will be constrained to survive on the charity of friends, at worst it will be the poorhouse. I can assure you I have little fancy for either. You understand my problem?" James nods. "Security." She confirms. "In return for the ship." James admits "I won't hide it from you, Miss Webster: I cannot put up surety." She goes on. "And then there is my father to be considered. He's a weak and foolish old man, but I would not see him destitute. There is only one form of partnership that would ensure the sort of security I require. And the ship would not cost you one penny piece: as a dowry. There is only one way a woman may escape poverty, Captain Onedin..."

Several things are clear from this offer. One, that Anne understands how the world works. In a tough century like the nineteenth she has little to look forward to when her father dies. Few if any positions are availble to a woman, as we shall see later, and an unmarried woman carries a stigma all her own, the moreso if she is older than can reasonably be expected by society. The second thing is that she believes in James, sees in him a future, sees his ambition and his determination to realise that ambition: "I see you and failure as strange bedfellows", she tells him archly, already laying the foundations for the bedrock of trust that will sustain their marriage. Third, she realises the position James is in, and that she has the upper hand. Though he did not come to her door as a suitor, or indeed even contemplating the idea of marriage (or, as the late Douglas Adams more succinctly put it, the merest thought had not even speculated on the possibility of crossing his mind) it now seems the only road open to him, and she knows (or gambles) that as an astute businessman and having been thrown a lifeline, James will grasp the opportunity, no matter how unusual and how unsettling the idea, in order to get what he wants. She obviously sees quite clearly that James Onedin is a man used to getting that which he desires.

She does reveal insecurity about herself though, on her wedding night when she tells James she wishes she was as beautiful as his sister, and gets upset, but James, in a somewhat uncharacteristically gentle moment, tells her he did not marry her for beauty alone, and she feels comforted.

ELIZABETH
The youngest member of the Onedin family, and the only girl, Elizabeth is at the start doe-eyed about love and romance, and frowns on James's marriage of convenience to Anne, but as the series progresses she will begin to learn the harsh ways of the world, and will herself enter into marriages which will become loveless and more about money than romance. It is almost amusing to see how she starts out here, and how she ends up by the time the series has run its course. Nevertheless, after James she was always my favourite character, and she does much to assert the role of a strong, dominant woman in the show as time goes on.

ROBERT
The elder brother, it was to him that their father left the chandler's shop on his death, perhaps because he believed Robert was the more level-headed of his two boys, the one less interested in going to sea than putting food on the table. Robert is at heart a shopkeeper, and loath to sink his money into what he would term as foolhardy ventures. This is why he refuses to loan James the money to buy the Charlotte Rhodes when his brother asks him to go into partnership with him, forcing James into the secondary compact with Anne. His wife, too, is to be taken account of, for she rules the roost and were Robert to have mortgaged the shop she would have gone mad. Robert does little without Sarah's approval, or even permission, though in time that will change.

James, for his part, looks down upon his brother as being a dull man, happy with his lot, unadventurous and reluctant to try to better himself. It's evident in the exchange they have about Robert expanding the business when James warns him that he who risks nothing gains nothing, but Robert is and will mostly remain a careful, not to say boring man. He loves his wife more than anything and he is not about to jeopardise their livelihood on one of his brother's mad schemes. However, when James has secured the ship and again approaches him to go into partnership with him in the maiden voyage, under his stewardship, of the Charlotte Rhodes, he can see no reason not to. James is after all asking no money upfront --- indeed, he gives Robert a hundred and fifty sovereigns as "a mark of good faith", to refit the ship --- and there seems little risk. He is less than pleased when he realises that he has also taken onboard the responsibility of James's debts, which, as the older brother is at sea, he must deal with. And when the voyage --- the only one in which he is entitled to a share of the profits --- shows none, he is further incensed, realising too late that he has been played by his wilier, more cunning brother who, despite Robert's assertions of his being the cannier businessman, has traded him right out of pocket.

HISTORY LESSONS
Another thing the Onedin Line did well was to reflect and retell historical events, and where these converge with the storylines I'll be talking about them.

TIGHTFIST
If you thought Monty Burns was a miser and guarded his money jealously, read here about how James Onedin counts literally every penny and makes sure not one is wasted. Charity is a word unknown to James, and he exists only to make a profit, the fatter the better.

This is best illustrated in his fooling Robert into taking on his debts while he is at sea, something we will see in the second episode, and the money he leaves for his brother to "cover expenses" is not nearly enough. Not only that, but he holds his wedding reception onboard the ship and as soon as he can get everyone off he's weighing anchor to head to Lisbon. Not a man to delay when there's a profit to be made!

Although he loves making money he also knows the old maxim, "you've got to speculate to accumulate", and has such deep faith in his own abilities that he truly can't see why Robert won't initially help him buy the Charlotte Rhodes. Robert, of course, knows nothing of his brother's plans and does not see things as he does. Had James explained what he was intending to do then perhaps the chandler would have loaned him the money, but James keeps his cards close to his chest, trusting no-one. It's not even clear if he reveals his plan to collect and return Braganza's empty wine casks to his wife. He also sees possible profit in helping Albert Frazer woo his sister, something he would have no interest in did it not afford him some return.

CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY
Here I'll be looking into the mind of James Onedin and seeing what makes him tick: money mostly, almost exclusively. But like the entrepreneurs of today, he is always on the lookout for the next big thing, the next opportunity to extend and consolidate his business empire. Even when he has nothing, he has big ideas.

Speaking to Robert about the new ironclad sailing ships, and how he should try to supply them, he is met by his brother's gloomy and defeatist claim: "The owners would never buy from a little man like me. And how could I afford fancy kickbacks to the masters?"
"The owners will buy", James tells him, with iron conviction, "where they can show best profit." Robert sneers.
"There's a sight more to business than just buying and selling, you take my word for it."
James: "Look: I buy, I sell. Wherein lies the profit?"
Robert: "In between."
James: "No, Robert, profit lies with the man who possesses. The owner makes the profit, not the employee, however well paid!"
Robert: "Aye, and he stands to lose most."
James: "And the man who has nothing loses nothing. And lies in a poor man's grave. A poor man's funeral."
Elizabeth: "Will you be the better for lying in a rich man's grave, James?"
James: "Aye! For I'll have worked for it!"

As he sits down to negotiate the sale of the Charlotte Rhodes, Onedin mentions that in addition to going over the ship from stem to stern he has made enquiries as to the Websters' financial situation. When this is viewed with outrage by Anne, he tells her and her father "Business is a matter of negotation. Before one can negotiate with certainty it is necessary to fully comprehend the strengths and weaknesses of the other side."

When James's plan becomes clear we see how sharp his mind is. He knows he cannot beat Callon's clipper to Lisbon, but he knows he can undercut his rates to the bone --- in fact, carry the wine totally free --- due to his idea about the wine casks, something Callon has never even entertained. New blood brings new ideas, and Callon, though initially dismissive of James, must begin to see something of a threat to his monopoly from the new upstart. He has the clout though to ruin him, and James will need all his cunning and resolve if he is to survive his first few months in business.

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Season One, Episode Three

The gang head to Prague for Nidge's stag, and on their return are told Jimmy Byrne has come back to Ireland. Darren goes to meet Rosie, trying to talk to her about why he left --- well, not that; she knows why. But why he didn't ask her to go with him. It's possible that Darren knows he may end up getting killed when he goes after Jimmy and wants to set the record straight. WIth the aid of Tommie and Nidge they get Jimmy but he says it wasn't him. Not surprising, but when he mentions that he is sueing the prison over the attack Robbie made on him and stands to make a hundred grand, Darren starts to believe him, and they let him go, now no wiser as to who killed Robbie.

John Boy however is not happy: he doesn't think Darren should have let Jimmy go, and so when Huey offers to sort him out, he gives his tacit approval. He will be out of the country anyway, so no suspicion can fall on him. Huey enlists the aid of an itinerant who owes him money to help him carry out the hit, while Darren tries to make Rosie see that they could start again: he doesn't care whose baby she's carrying, he says he would love the child as if it were his own. Huey and the tinker, Martin, go to Jimmy's house and shoot him in front of his wife and baby, while Stumpy is searching through Rosie's personal effects and comes across pictures of her and Darren together. In a rage he beats her when she comes home, putting her in the hospital.

In the wake of Jimmy Byrne's killing, the usual suspects are rounded up and the gang all find themselves in the station, though their slimy lawyer gets them out within a few hours. On his release, John Boy, who has just flown back into Ireland, is enraged when he sees the newspaper headline about the slaying. So this is how his brother does things quietly, is it? He then has to help Stumpy when Rosie's unconscious body is found in his house; John Boy lets him use one of his apartments to lie low for a while.

The enormity of what he has done is beginning to sink in for Huey and he's starting to panic. John Boy tries to calm him down, but Huey is reading reports that John Boy may want to now rid himself of the liablity Huey has become, and even though his brother reassures him this is not the case he worries. He goes back to see Martin, gets him drunk and then uses his favourite method of violence, a cueball wrapped in a sock, to try to find out who Martin has been talking to, where the papers got his name. However his interrogation methods are rather too severe and Martin won't be talking again. Ever. Huey rings his brother and on his instructions burns the caravan Martin was living in. During the course of their conversation Huey confesses to John Boy that it was in fact he who shot Robbie.

John Boy goes off the deep end, especially when he learns that his brother committed murder over a paltry sum of 300 Euro! But there is nothing he can do about it now: the mystery has been solved, and a man died for nothing. John Boy's name has been splashed across the headlines for a killing that need not have taken place had Huey just confided in him sooner. Even knowing it was him who had killed Darren's brother, he still shot an innocent man (well, innocent of this crime, anyway) in cold blood and risked the wrath of the law coming down upon them.

Darren goes to see Rosie in hospital, then calls John Boy. He's finally put two and two together. Who was the only one --- the only one --- who said he had heard it was Jimmy Byrne who killed Robbie? And who then made sure that Jimmy could not refute this by killing him? He knows now who really killed his brother, and John Boy or no John Boy, he's going to be out for revenge.

FAMILY
Far from "having each other's backs", as they would like to think they do, the gang care little about each other. John Boy and Huey, being brothers of a sort, probably have a bond but as far as the rest go it's just like "guys at the office", and this is epitomised when Huey asks if Darren is going to kill Jimmy, now that he's back. John Boy says "I don't give a bollocks what he does!" They will obviously help Darren get revenge for the killing of his brother, but only because they can't allow such a slight to one of the gang members to go unpunished; they don't even care if Jimmy is the right man. Somebody has to pay, and they're not really fussy who. When they hear about his return, John Boy mutters "Dead man walking, that's what he is!" but he doesn't truly give a damn; he just knows that Darren will not shirk what he sees as his responsibility and duty, and truth to be told, it might reflect badly on the gang (and on him) were Darren not to take revenge, which would be seen as his right. But other than that, John Boy, like the rest of them, could not give a damn what happens to Jimmy Byrne.

What is interesting is that once they let Jimmy go, believing he is telling the truth when he says it wasn't him, John Boy and Huey are not satisfied. In their eyes, the fact that Jimmy was going around saying he was the one who killed Robbie (though this is second-hand hearsay; they never personally heard him say this) is damning evidence enough to convict him. Not only that, but John Boy now worries that the reputation of the gang --- his reputation --- will be tarnished when it gets around that they had Jimmy and then let him go. When you cross John Boy, or one of his gang, you're usually not expected to walk away.

Stumpy is annoyed that Darren came on the trip to Prague, both because Darren steered clear of all the prostitutes they partook of --- and he believes he knows, or suspects why --- and also he possibly thinks that Darren may be reporting back to Rosie about Stumpy's behaviour while away, either to show her how much better a catch he is, or just to drive a wedge between them.

Darren is mildly annoyed when Mary suggests Tommie accompany them to the swimming baths as a "family day out" with Nidge, Trish, Warren and her kids. Darren says carefully, "Tommie isn't family." And he never will be, unless somehow he ends up marrying Mary. The implication could not be clearer: though he may be a mate, a comrade-at-arms, a work colleague, a fellow gang member, just sleeping with Darren's sister does not qualify him as family. In truth, this actually says a lot more about how upset Darren is with his sister. Though he has brushed off the idea, it does bother him and the moreso that it was Mary Tommie was in bed with when he was supposed to have been picking up Robbie, which led indirectly to the death of Darren's brother.

When Huey reveals to John Boy that it was he who shot Robbie, though his brother is furious he still makes sure that Huey is covered. He almost laughs when Huey tells him the piddling sum of money, in comparison, that Robbie owed Huey and which he shot him over, but he worries what will happen when Darren susses out what has happened. Apart from himself, and as we will see later his daughter, there's only one other person in the world whom John Boy cares about, and he'll move heaven and earth to make sure he's protected.

HONOUR AMONG THIEVES?
Despite the fact that he has little but contempt for the man, John Boy realises that Stumpy is better under lock and key than roaming the streets. His attack on Rosie is bound to draw unwelcome attention, and he knows too that Darren will be on his trail once he finds out what happened. This is the only reason he shelters him. Were there no blowback that could hit John Boy he would let Stumpy hang, but here the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, and he feels the best thing he can do is get Stumpy hidden away before someone comes looking for him.

When Trish pushes Nidge to tell Darren about Rosie he is reluctant, muttering that he doesn't want to get involved. It's darkly hilarious, as he's been in tougher situations than this, but when there's nothing to be personally gained (and a lot to lose, if John Boy were to find out he grassed Stumpy) he's not interested. Even when Trish snaps that Rosie might die, he just claims his phone is out of power; he does not want to be the one to break the news to Darren. In some ways too, he probably figures that where Rosie is concerned, Darren is more a loose cannon than he is, and when that cannon goes off, anyone in the vicinity is likely to get hurt.


MIRROR, MIRROR
Again we see the dichotomy between what the gang do and the face they can present to the world at large. Nidge and Trish go to an upmarket hotel to book their wedding reception, like any other couple, and the hostess has no idea what the groom really does for a living. If she did, that plastic smile would soon leave her face! She's no doubt surprised when, asking for the two thousand Euro deposit, after Nidge makes a face, he then fishes in his pocket and counts out two grand in cash!

LETTER OF THE LAW
John Boy's lawyer explains to him that, while he may worry that any property he should buy with his ill-gotten gains can be seized by the CAB (Criminal Assets Bureau), John Boy is entitled to sue for a settlement, and the usual outcome of these is that the State can only hold ten percent of his assets back, the rest he gets back himself. He grins and tells John Boy "It's a tax clearence certificate!"

ONE CUEBALL SHORT OF A FRAME
Huey is thinking about setting up a debt collection agency --- "Call it Repo Man ---whaddya think?" --- God help anyone who fell foul of his mercurial temper! We learn why Huey's nickanme is Cueball, when John Boy points to blood on Huey's shirt and a sock also covered in blood on the floor, and Huey shrugs. "Some English thick was singin'! I got the cueball." The intimation from this is that he put a cueball in his sock and made a weapon of it, then pounced on the --- probably unsuspecting --- poor singer. This is later proven when he uses the same trick on Martin. The fact that Huey thinks nothing of this violent, unprovoked act speaks volumes about the kind of psycho he is.

When John Boy is berating Darren for having believed Jimmy Byrne and let him go, Huey steps up for the job, says he could do it on his own. He doesn't care whether the guy killed Robbie at all --- in fact, by the end of the episode we know the truth --- but it's just another opportunity to exorcise some violence out of his system. If there's one thing Huey loves it's breaking heads, bones, fingers, legs. Also, he may feel some sense of displaced loyalty to his brother, and want to sort out this problem for him so that John Boy's image is not tarnished. In reality though he's protecting himself, as he knows that it's him all along who is the killer.

Huey of course screws up. Instead of luring Jimmy to a deserted place and plugging him, he and his cohort go charging in, literally, all guns blazing, and shoot him in front of his wife and child. Later, Huey tries to atone for this by killing Martin, after unsuccessfully trying to get information out of him, and when he tells John Boy that he was the one who killed Robbie, over a mere three hundred Euro, his brother laughs harshly: he knows this is the sort of thing he's come to expect from his psychotic brother. But he may have gone a step too far this time.

There's an almost tragicomic moment after Huey has beaten Martin to death, and the itinerant is lying there dead, his lips fixed in a rictus grin. Recalling the annoyance he felt with JP last episode, Huey glares down at him and asks him why is he smiling at him? A moment later the penny drops and he begins to panic, but that tiny scene encapsulates Huey perfectly: after beating someone to death he's more concerned that he's being laughed at than at the deed he has just perpetrated.

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(Note: I should point out this is NOT the current US version with Kevin Spacey, but the original BBC version broadcast in the 1990s.)

I've always enjoyed a good political drama. "The state within", "A very British coup", "The politician's wife" and to a lesser extent, "The West Wing" were all shows I got thoroughly invested in, which is odd when you think about it, as I am in no way a political animal. Oh, I watch the news and keep up with what's happening, but I'm no more interested in politics than the next guy or girl. But I suppose in the same way that I abhor the activities of the IRA or am an atheist, I can enjoy a show or film on either subject without having to subscribe to its ideals.

But really, at its heart the thing about political drama is that it is, despite what you might think, interesting. The lengths some people will go to achieve their ends, good or bad, can be really shocking and/or illuminating, depending on what those ends are. So when this series began showing on I think it was UK Drama at the time, I watched it and quickly got sucked in. Much, almost all of that, if I'm honest, was due to the stunning acting of the late great Sir Ian Richardson in the main role, and of course to the writing of Michael Dobbs.

House of Cards is a trilogy, although originally the book was not intended as such. Dobbs had to write the other two novels more or less specially for the BBC, who had dramatised the first one but decided not to end it as the writer had intended, with the death of Richardson's character, and I must say on the basis of what I have seen this was a masterstroke, because there is so much more than one book in this story.
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Francis Urquhart (pronounced "urk-it") is the Chief Whip in the Conservative Party when the drama opens. For those who don't know, a Chief Whip is a member of the party who makes sure the other members toe the line, making sure they vote when needed and ensuring their continuing loyalty to the party and the leader. In simple terms, if you think of the MPs (Members of Parliament) as schoolchildren, the Chief Whip is the teacher, or perhaps the head teacher. Most fear him, many respect him and he wields considerable power within the party. But this is not enough for our man, and he has designs on the top job. Nothing particularly ground-breaking about that, you say.

But Urquhart has a dark past, and will do anything and everything to make sure it stays in the past, and dark. There are "indiscretions" from his youth which, if made public, might spell the end of his career, never mind his push for Prime Minister. The series takes place just after the tenure of Margaret Thatcher, and Urquhart always feels in her shadow, the moreso when he has to attend the unveiling of a statue in her honour. He wants to make his own mark, and is happy to do anything that helps him reach his goal.

The sheer, unbridled lust for power and the exercise of control over others are trademarks of Urquhart; he's a man who tells others how it is, and if they don't agree with him he is more than able to break them, in some cases literally. He has no compunction whatever about climbing the slippery ladder to the top, hurling those in front of him down the scaffold where they fall in a mounting heap of corpses, both figurative and literal. But apart from his desire for political power, he also has sexual predelictions which his wife not only understands, but supports, and as people are brought into his world he tests them to see if they are worthy, if not they end up just another corpse on the pile.

Something the series does very well is that Richardson will often "break the fourth wall", speaking in asides to the audience, like when he's going in to the House of Commons he turns to the camera and talks about how much fun Prime Minister's Question Time is. He also makes some darkly dramatic soliloquies, like an actor on the stage. There is not a lot of incidental music in the show, so that when some is used it has more of an effect than if it were constantly running through the programme.

Though each part of the trilogy takes place more or less as a self-contained show, that is, one does not lead directly into the others, certain elements from the previous ones filter in to the next as the ghosts from Urquhart's past follow him from part to part, refusing to be silent and lie down, trying to destroy him. He is without doubt the central character in the series; everything revolves around him, and a supporting character list is best reserved for each part of the trilogy, as apart from his wife and one or two others most characters serve out their time in the first, second or third part of the trilogy and have little or no bearing on the next ones.

Like Rik Mayall's Alan B'Stard, being discussed in my reviews of "The New Statesman", already in progress, --- but without the laughs --- Francis Urquhart (often referred to as FU) orchestrates machiavellain plans that impact upon the lives of many, sometimes hundreds, thousands or even millions of people, and weaves around himself a web of murder, deceit, intrigue and infamy, with one of three goals in mind: power, the acquisition and then retention of it; self-preservation and that old chestnut beloved by politicans the world over, wealth. Little else matters to him, other than his sexual conquests, and even then he tires of these easily, seeing them more as challenges and an attempt to stave off the boredom of always being able to come out on top of any situation, through means fair (seldom) or foul (more often than not), and when he has wearied of his new toys he invariably tosses them aside and goes looking for a new diversion.

Nothing is outside his reach, and to give you an idea of his daring, the second part of the trilogy features his taking on of the King of England, facing down if not the most powerful then certainly the most popular and sacrosanct figure in Great Britain. Not since the time of Oliver Cromwell has a Prime Minister stood toe to toe with the ruling monarch and dared him to best him. But all that is to come. When we first meet Francis Urquhart, as I say, he is but a humble functionary, the Chief Whip, and though wielding a certain amount of power it is nowhere near enough to satisfy his lusts, and he thinks the position a waste of his talents. He decides to make a power play, and begins to set events in motion.

And that, my friends, is where our story begins...

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1.3 "Sex is wrong"

Alan is trying unsuccessfully to seduce Beatrice, his PR woman, unaware she is a lesbian. His attempts are interrupted by the arrival of Piers, and Alan, now bored, talks to him about the upcoming party conference, more about who he's planning to have sex with at the conference really. However in the end he finds out that Sir Stephen, recovering in hospital after a prostate examination, is heading a campaign to ban porn. Of course, this is a position diametrically opposed to B'Stard's own beliefs, and he is bored and disgusted at the idea, until he hears from Piers that the committee have to watch porn videos in order to decide on their eligibility for banning. Why, it's a pervert's dream! Sit through hours of adult video and not have to worry about who sees you, not have to hide it, be in fact praised for it? He's in!

When the Lady Virginia Emery arrives in his office and mistakes him for Sir Stephen, B'Stard goes along with the pretence as it gets him a cheque for a grand and an opportunity to publish the police photographs he has stolen from the committee meeting the previous day. Using her money he has a publisher put together her pamphlet, "Sex is wrong", along with the photos, which he intends to sell at the party conference. He knows he won't be found out, as Lady Virginia has told him she is averse to crowds and will not be able to attend.

Determined to make a profit, B'Stard then asks Sir Stephen to stump up another thousand, telling him they can get the pamphlet printed for a pound a copy, instead of the fifty pence it is actually costing. He tells the old MP that he has had a profound religious revelation and wants to bring Lady Virginia's "message of hope" to a wider audience. Lucky for him, Sir Stephen is also unable to attend the conference, but things take a turn for the worse when Lady Virginia finds out who he really is. She threatens to expose his duplicity, the moreso when she realises how her book has been perverted by the unscrupulous Thatcherite.

With typical slipperiness though, B'Stard manages to get himself out of this fix, by railing against pornography and championing "Sex is wrong" as the solution in his speech to the party conference. When the delegates here about the dirty pictures in the book there is a rush to buy. However though she has not been fooled by his act, something has been awoken in Lady Virginia and the frigid spinster suddenly feels like having sex. And if anyone is going to provide that sex, why it's going to have to be Alan --- if he wants to keep his secret, and his position.

QUOTES
Beatrice: "Alan I'm attracted to you, of course I am."
Alan: "Well who isn't?"
Beatrice: "But it would never work. I mean, what about Sarah?" (B'Stard looks blank) "Sarah, my old schoolfriend? You must remember Sarah. (Long pause) You're married to her!"

Piers (of Sir Stephen): "He's planning to discharge himself tomorrow."
Alan: "Really? After a prostate examination? That'll be a first!"

Alan (to Piers): "God! If your IQ was any lower you'd need watering, wouldn't you?"

Piers: "You know Sir Stephen is chairman of the Campaign for Moral Regeneration?"
Alan: "No I didn't. Mind you it makes perfect sense. It's a fine old English tradition, isn't it? Once you're too old and decrepit to do anything yourself you form a committee to stop anyone else doing it!"

Sir Stephen: "We'll reconvene in twenty minutes to look at the collection of pornographic photographs kindly lent us by the Metropolitan Police Commissioner from his personal collection. Ah, I mean, kindly lent to us personally by the Commissioner from the Metropolitan Police's collection!"

MACHINATIONS
Only someone as morally bankrupt as Alan B'Stard could come up with the idea of using the sale of a pamphlet that preaches against sex as a vehicle for selling porno, but not only that, he is able to twist around the idea to make it seem that the book does actually fulfil its intended purpose, using the depictions within the pages as the USP (Unique Selling Point: don't you watch "Dragons Den?") to ensure bumper sales!

WHAT IS LOVE?
BEATRICE PROTHEROE
No-one is safe from Alan's sexual intentions, but he doesn't seem to realise, or care, that his media guru is a lesbian, or maybe bisexual, and tries to interfere with her as they peruse some paperwork. He calls his wife frigid and says she's not interested in sex, again blissfully unaware that Beatrice knows the truth about Sarah! Indeed, as quoted above, when Beatrice mentions her Alan is hard-pressed to figure out who she is talking about!

LADY VIRGINIA EMERY
For once B'Stard gets used, though he probably doesn't mind: he still gets to get his end away. But the price for her silence about his nasty scheme involving her book is that Alan shags Lady Virginia, who up until then seems to have had no interest in sex at all, and a driving desire to stop others having it too.

C.A.S.H
Throughout the run of the series B'stard manages to have many cheques made out to cash, by pretending the payee is an organisation with the acronym that just happens to spell that word. This is the first instance, in which he asks Lady Virginia to make her cheque out to the Christian Approach to Spiritual Handbooks. C-A-S-H. Considering it's the first time he's used the ruse and he comes up with it on the spot, it's quite impressive. Later he will reel off names that make up the acronyn with the practiced ease of one who has done this so many times before. Some will be really quite clever.

PCRs
Alan tells Piers he is as welcome as Jeffrey Archer at the "Daily Star" Christmas party. As it was the "Star" taht caused Archer all that trouble by exposing his links with the prostitute, as explained previously, this does not seem a likely outcome...

THE USER AND THE USED
SIR STEPHEN
Again, B'Stard uses the name of the elderly politician to further his own ambitions. When he is mistaken by Lady Virginia for Sir Stephen, B'Stard does not correct her until he can see if there is profit in such subterfuge. And there is. Posing as Sir Stephen he finances the printing of the pamphlet and then sells it as a sex manual at the conference. However his scheme falls apart at the end. Typically though, B'Stard comes up smelling of roses.

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1.16 "Shadow"

Thankfully, after the crapfest that is "The Benders", we can sit back and enjoy the sort of quality story we're coming to expect from this show. Dean and Sam check out an apartment where a woman has been apparently killed --- in fact, torn to pieces --- without the alarm being tripped and with no sign of visible entry or exit. Considering the damage done, Dean thinks werewolf but Sam disagrees: the cycle isn't correct for lycanthropic behaviour, and besides, a werewolf would have demolished the place both getting in and out. Dean has an idea and uses masking tape to join up the pools of blood that are on the ground, and they look at the symbol thus formed, but neither recognise it.

Checking through their father's journals they have no further luck, then while at the bar where the girl who was killed worked, Sam runs into Meg again (see "Scarecrow") and though he acts glad to see her, he's suspicious. He hardly knows her, he met her while at his lowest ebb, leaving Dean to sort out the mystery of the killings in Burkitsville, and now, when she's supposed to be in California, here she is, "accidentally" bumping into him again at the very site of another possibly supernatural killing. He doesn't like it, but Dean tells him he's making something out of nothing. His older brother is probably biased by the fact that Meg is hot, too.

While Sam stakes out Meg's apartment Dean checks on her (at Sam's request; he doesn't think there's anything in it) and also the symbol they found. Meg seems to check out, but the symbol proves to be an ancient sigil for a dark demon from the Zoroastrian belief, something called a Daeva. Dean says they're powerful, nasty: he calls them "demonic pit bulls". He tells Sam they have to be summoned, conjured. They're ancient and savage, and very hard to control: they tend to turn upon the one who brings them forth. Dean whistles that it would appear there is some very dark magic at work, and a major force is in town. Sam watches Meg dress and leave her room, and follows her.

She enters what appears to be a camouflaged door which leads to an abandoned warehouse in which there is a black altar. She picks up a silver bowl filled with blood and again does her communication trick, as she did when hitch-hiking at the end of "Scarecrow". Again, only her side of the conversation can be made out, but she seems to warn whoever is on the other end of the line, so to speak, not to come yet as Dean and Sam are in town. She nods, and promises to be ready, then leaves. When she has gone Sam checks out the altar and sees several human hearts on it, along with some magical and ancient artifacts and drawn on the wall in blood the symbol they saw in the room where the girl was murdered.

When Sam gets back to the hotel and talks to Dean, his brother advises him that he has been checking into the other murder that happened prior to the one they are investigating --- or were; things seem to be about to take a much more important turn now --- and is dismayed to find that the victim was born in ... Lawrence, Kansas. Turns out the other victim also comes from there originally, so surely that can't be a coincidence? The place they lived as children, where their mother was killed by a demon, and now two other people from there are linked into this murder? Dean is all for capturing Meg and interrogating her, but Sam says they should stake out the black altar and see what turns up, see who or what she was talking to.

Considering how big this is, and how it's just possible that they're near the end of their quest, Dean calls their father and leaves a voicemail, hoping he will be able to come and help them. Meanwhile they assemble every weapon they can and head to the warehouse. Meg however seems to know they're there, hiding in the shadows as she carries out her ritual, and suddenly the Daeva --- assuming that's what it is --- forms as a shadow on the wall and knocks Sam to the ground while throwing Dean across the room.

When they come to they are tied to separate posts. Meg tells them there is no link between the two people; the fact that they were both from Lawrence was just a ruse, used to lure the two brothers to her. Those two people died for nothing, but Meg seems the type who's happy to kill for no reason. Then the real reason for trapping (and not killing) the two boys becomes apparent: this is not a trap for them, but for their father. Sam breaks free and nuts Meg, she goes down. He runs to the altar and overturns it, at which point the demons turn on Meg and drag her out the window to her death.

When the boys get back to their hotel they are overjoyed to see their father standing there. An emotional reunion ensues, but is broken when a Daeva attacks John, and we see Meg is not dead after all; she is standing in the street clutching a pendant with the Zoroastrian symbol and directing the attack. Sam throws a flare which destroys the shadows and thereby robs the demons of their power, as they can only exist in this world as shadows. Under the cover of the exploding flash of light they get out of the hotel, and though Sam wants their father to come with them, Dean reasons that it will be too dangerous: the demon used the brothers to get to their father already, knowing he's more vulnerable when he has to protect and worry about them. They can't let that happen again. Tearfully they part, their father telling them they will meet up again soon.

MUSIC
Little Charlie and the Nightcats: "You got your hooks into me"

Vue: "Pictures of me"


QUESTIONS?
Who is Meg, and who is she working for or with? Who is this "father" she speaks of? Can she really be the daughter of a demon?

The "WTF??!" moment
Has to be when the boys come back to their hotel and see the figure of their father standing there to greet them.

PCRs
Dean quips: "It’s Miller time!" Slogan of the Miller Beer company, as if you didn't know.

BROTHERS
We learn a lot more about what the quest means, separately, for each of the boys here. Sam just wants to find the demon that killed his mother, destroy it and go back to having a normal life. He's prepared to stick it out to the bitter end, but once they've achieved their goal he wants to draw a line under it, forget it and move on. Dean, on the other hand, has seen too many weird and evil things to be able to go back to any sort of a normal life, and anyway he's been hunting longer than Sam has, and has become used to it.

More than that: he's beginning to enjoy it. It's like an addiction, something he really can't live without now. When Sam says he can't wait till it's over, Dean says "It'll never be over", and there's a note of gratitude in his voice that says he doesn't want it to be over. "There's always gonna be something to hunt", he tells Sam, with more relief in his voice than horror. Dean has settled into the role of professional demon hunter over the last few years, and now it's a way of life for him. He can't imagine doing anything else. Even if they get the demon that killed their mother, he's prepared to keep hunting down evil things, whether they're connected to that demon or not. And he knows there is no shortage of evil supernatural beings in the world.

He honestly can't understand Sam's wish to leave it all behind; to him, there's nothing he wants more than to continue the life they're leading, with the exception of having their father join them and being then a trio of demon hunters. The elaborate facade Dean has constructed around his feelings begins to chip and break as we see a vulnerability in him here that we have slowly begun to notice creep in since his heart attack. He is upset that Sam would leave him, go back to his life. He's like a small child; he wants everything to stay as it is. In that respect, he is far the younger brother.

And yet, he's again taking charge and doing the adult thing by the end of the episode, when he realises that it's far too dangerous for their father to remain with them, and they must split up again. Sam wants their dad to stay with them, having not seen him for years, but that's understandable. Dean, of course, closer to his father but ready to shoulder the burden, takes up the cloak of adulthood and the mantle of the bigger brother and tells Sam this is the only way they can ensure their father's safety. No doubt John Winchester is proud of both his boys, but doubly proud of Dean for his pragmatic approach to the situation.

Sam is no doubt worried that he brought Meg down upon them by splitting with Dean back during "Scarecrow", but logic would suggest that if she wanted to find the brothers she would have found a way. Logic would also suggest that, not having died as we thought in the fall from the hotel window (the possible daughter of a demon killed by a simple fall? The very idea!) we should expect to see this hellion again, and the paths of the brothers will surely cross with hers in the future.

The ARC of the matter
This is a particularly arc-centric episode. We meet Meg again, the strange girl we first encountered in "Scarecrow", who turned out to be a lot more than she at first appeared. Here we see her setting a trap for the boys, or actually their father, and it seems obvious that her master/father --- whether the demon they are pursuing or another entity --- knows of John Winchester and his boys and is moving to try to stop them. We're thrown a curveball in the shape of the murder victims both being from the boys' hometown, but it turns out that's just a ruse to draw them in.

We also see, for the first time since the end of "Home", John Winchester on screen, and we see him briefly reunited with his boys. The reunion does not last long, however, and they must part ways again, but the boys' father warns them of dark days coming, and says he will be in touch.

1.17 "Hell House"

Sam and Dean come to Richardson, Texas, to investigate the tale of a supposedly haunted house in the woods where the very real police report says three girls saw another one hanged, and when the brothers talk to the girls they keep coming up with the one name, a guy called Craig. Questioning him, they are told about the legend of Mordechai Murdoch, who was a man who killed his daughters during the Great Depression, rather than let them starve to death. He then hung himself. Sam and Dean take readings from the location where the old house used to stand, and they do seem to get some activity. They go inside, and find that there are freshly-painted symbols on the walls, one of which seems familiar to Dean but he can't quite place it.

Then they hear voices, and ready for anything, run into two "ghost hunters", Ed and Harry. They are clearly fakes and Sam and Dean leave them to it, but Dean wonders why that symbol seems so recognisable? Researching the legend of Mordechai Murdoch they hit a blank wall, although they do come across a report on a Martin Murdoch who lived there in the thirties, but nothing untoward seems to have happened to or about him: he had no daughters, just two sons and neither died. The boys are beginning to wonder if they've come here on a wild goose chase?

However that night another girl dies, supposedly committing suicide by hanging herself, though it has been shown that she was dared to go into the "Hell house" by her friends and then a phantom appeared behind her and strangled her with the rope. When the brothers hear the news they realise that something is up: this girl was a good student with a great future ahead of her, hardly a suicide prospect. They gain access to the house that night by blowing the cover of Ed and Harry, who are skulking in the bushes and who the cops then chase, leaving the way clear for the boys. Inside they encounter the ghost and shoot at him, but to no avail and they have to run.

Sam points out that the ghost was carrying an axe and had slashed wrists, which does not fit in with the legend about him. He is beginning to form a theory, and the next day they head back to Craig's record store, where browsing through albums they come across one by Blue Oyster Cult, and Dean realises that the symbol that was fresh drawn on the wall of the Hell House is the logo for the band. He forces Craig to confess, and he admits it was all a hoax, set up by him and his cousin as a joke, but that now it appears to have taken on a life of its own, and called forth an angry spirit.

Up to now the brothers have been checking one of the websites Sam frequents, hellhoundslair.com, which has confirmed the Mordechai Murdoch story, but now when they check the story has been changed to reflect the fact that the ghost is now said to have slashed his wrists with an axe. Sam thinks the ghost may be a Tulpa, a Tibetan thought spirit. There is a story about monks envisioning a golem and it appearing, so perhaps if enough people believe strongly enough, on the web, the same thing could happen here.

They go to the trailer where Harry and Ed are running the website and they agree to shut it down, so that Dean and Sam can try to figure out how to kill the spirit. When it reappears again the best they can think of is to burn the house down: if Mordechai, or the Tulpa, is bound to haunt the house and they burn it to the ground there will be nothing left for him to haunt, and he should vanish. He does, and they hope he stays gone, unless someone else writes a new legend. But Ed and Harry now understand the danger of posting such information on their website, and will be much more careful. In fact, they've received a call from a movie producer to make a film about the spirit, and will in all likelihood forget about the site. Sam doesn't tell them that it was only him, pretending to be a movie mogul, who made the call.

MUSIC
Blue Oyster Cult: "Fire of unknown origin"

Blue Oyster Cult: "Burnin' for you"


The "WTF??!" moment
Meh, not really one. Maybe when it's revealed that the symbol on the wall is the BOC logo, but sure, any rocker worth their salt would have known that!

PCRs
Announcing the recommencement of the practical jokes, Dean grins "What's the matter Sammy, scared you're going to get a little Nair in your shampoo again huh?" This would appear to refer to the female hair removal cream "Nair", and one can only assume that at some point Dean mixed some in Sam's shampoo, though where girly leg hair cream came from among two guys is anyone's guess!

When they meet Craig and introduce themselves as journalists, he says he writes for his school magazine, to which Dean sneers "Well, good for you Morrisey." I can't be sure, but I think this may refer to the lead singer with the Smiths, Morrissey. Though the Smiths would not have been that big in the USA, so it could refer to something else? Also, I don't get the writer link, but that's all I got...

Ed, one of the self-proclaimed "ghost hunters", to his partner: " Be brave. WWBD. What. Would. Buffy. Do. huh?"You don't need me to tell you who Buffy is, do you? ;))

BROTHERS
When they were younger Sam and Dean were always playing practical jokes on one another. Here, their relationship has mellowed, from the point where they split in anger during "Scarecrow" to the coming back together and standing with their father of the previous episode, and it's almost like they're kids again. Sam changes Dean's radio station to a, well, not rock station, while Dean puts itching powder in Sam's shorts. Sam superglues Dean's drinking bottle so that it sticks to his lips and Dean ... and so it goes. I must say, to be perfectly honest it's all very immature and silly, and I guess it's meant to show that even in the depths of darkness and despair the boys can find something to laugh about, and it probably also holds back the fear and terror that must be reaching for them every night since their encounter with Meg. Still, I could have done without it. Never really saw the value of practical jokes myself.

Since they parted company with their dad the brothers have been using the website hellhoundslair.com for information and for leads on what to tackle next, which is how they end up in Texas looking for the missing girl (who is never found).

Notes: It seems that after "Shadow" the whole quality of the writing has slid, not as abysmally as on "The Benders", but this is sloppy. It's sort of back to monster-of-the-week and though the idea of propogating a legend and summoning a demon, almost, through the power of the internet is an interesting and sobering one, the resolution of the story smacks of boredom. They burn down the house. How original. I get very little from this episode and can only hope (can't really remember that far back now) that the next one gets much better, because, despite the chilling title which promises much and delivers little really, this is a serious slide in quality.

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1.4 "Traitor's Gate"

There are protests and riots at the news that US President George W Bush is to visit the UK, and during one such it turns out that one of the rioters is Peter Salter, an MI5 operative, something of a legend in his field. In fact, it turns out it was he who recruited Tom into the service. Zoe and Danny, observing the protest, advise the riot police to let him and the woman he is with go, but they are surprised and annoyed that they weren't briefed about another agent being involved in the operation.

When Ellie sees his gunshot wound Tom is forced to reveal who he really is. It's a lot to take in, but she tells him that he has to tell Masie, otherwise she will leave him. Harry tells Zoe and Danny that they did not --- categorically not --- see Peter Salter at the protest. When Tom challenges this Harry admits that he is running Salter in order to catch a worldwide anarchist called Istan Vogel. They meet with Jools Siviter, of MI6, and Harry is aghast to hear that the MI6 man is listening in on Salter's lodgings, without the Section D Chief's permission or even knowledge. Siviter defends this by saying that they were in fact bugging an anarchist's flat, mikes were all setup and Salter just wandered in: now they're listening in on him too.

As they now listen they hear Salter has told the girl, whose name is Andrea Chambers that he is an MI5 agent, but that he wants to change sides. He asks her to set up a meeting with Vogel, telling her he has a "dead ground map", a schematic of every major government installation and communication or military site. This should be something the anarchist cannot afford to pass up.Salter however notices the bug and destroys it, sending Andrea to a safehouse. Tom goes to meet Salter, telling him that he knows he's actually in love with Andrea, not just keeping his cover up. Tom is convinced that he is still on message though, and he gives Salter the go-ahead to continue with the operation. Then something Salter says changes his mind and he tells him he's shutting down the operation. He does however allow Salter to meet with Andrea and warn her to get out before the shutters come down.

Harry is not impressed when he hears what has happened, but he trusts Tom's judgement. Salter is of course under surveillance but he manages to throw Danny and Zoe off by phoning in a fake nuisance call to the police, who delay the two enough for him to make his escape with Andrea. As Tom feared, he's "gone native", and it wasn't an act at all. They're picked up by Vogel's operative, who brings them to a remote part of Wales and there they meet Vogel himself. Salter though is disappointed when he realises the paucity of the anarchists' ambition: he had expected they would assassinate Bush, whereas all they're going to do is block the main approach road so his cavalcade can't use it. Symbolic, not realistic; show not substance. And he has already handed over the dead ground map. He suggests something a bit more ... radical.

Harry tells Tessa he needs to use one of her sources, who is entrenched with a British anarchist movement, and sends Zoe to meet the guy, but it turns out Tessa is making up contacts and paying them, but pocketing the money. She pays Zoe to keep her secret. Salter has convinced the anarchists to take more direct action. They are going to compromise the flight approach for Air Force One so that it goes off course and crashes. He can use the dead ground map to identify blind spots in the CCTV of one of the universities, where Salter can then use the computers on campus, which have files on geological topography he can use to reset the terrain. They are discovered however and as the alarm is raised Salter tells the anarchists --- Andrea among them --- to get out and he will finish the job. He uses the university's powerful mainframes to alter the terrain on the approach, making it seem lower than it is. Bush's plane will crash right into it, believing the way ahead to be clear. It's something similar to what the terrorists did in "Die Hard 2", ten years earlier.

Just as he finishes inputting the data armed police storm the building and Salter is arrested. Tom and the others pretend they don't realise he has switched sides, and take his testimony as if they believe he is relating his part in the mission as he was supposed to be carrying it out. He wrongfoots them of course, saying he was taken to East Anglia instead of Wales, but Tom sees through it and Salter, tired and worn out from the concussion bomb blast gives in. During interrogation Tom gives him the option to come back to them, take a desk job, but Salter hangs himself. His plan however falls apart, unbeknownst to him, when the ATC computer develops a fault, air traffic control is offline and the president has to switch to landing at a different airport, making everything he did completely pointless, worthless and in the end futile.

Note: I must admit to being a little confused by the ending of this one. The whole "take Bush's plane down" plot is only discovered with about three minutes of the show remaining. Danny somehow susses it and mentions the lyric to "River deep mountain high", though I don't know where he heard this: he's shown having his "lightbulb moment" when one of the trainees says "Come on Danny, fly with me", so that's a little offbase. Then he thinks he's sussed that a virus has been placed in the computer system to knock ATC offline. It hasn't: Salter was clearly shown as using the software to intentionally lower what the system saw as the relative heights of the surrounding terrain, which made sense.

Now, when the computer DOES shut down, I thought, oh well that means that when it comes back up it'll have rebooted and installed the new information, so maybe that was meant. But then the episode ends, as we hear that due to ATC going down Air Force One has had to be redirected. So, what caused the system to crash? Are we meant to believe it was one of those "quantum butterfly" instances, where something just happened? Is it meant to be fate, God laughing at the plans of men? Or did the fact that details --- important, critical, crucial details --- were altered trigger some failsafe in the ATC system that made it reboot in a sort of double-checking of the facts? We're not told, and to be fair I found it a very sloppy and unsatisfactory, and rushed, ending to what had been up till then a pretty fine episode.

In fact, (although I'd seen it before it's been a while) I thought that it was even possible, given the minimal time left on the episode, that it might carry over into a two-parter. Which might have been better, given the resolution we got. Very disappointing really. Not at all typical of the fine writing we have come to expect from this series.

And isn't that...?
Spooks right from season one was attracting some big names. Jenny Agutter and Peter Firth were already well established actors, but the guest list over the years would see some interesting and sometimes unexpected names step up.
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Hugh Laurie as Jools Siviter --- known for his roles in Black Adder and Fry and Laurie, and most famously and recently in House.
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Anthony Stewart Head as Peter Salter --- mostly known for his portrayal of Giles in Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Harry's World
How he deals with Danny hacking in to upgrade his credit rating, as we saw last episode, is rather human, as he explains: "I wanted you to work this out, Danny, to get it through your system, this thing you have with money --- particularly money you don't have. We all have our little quirks, and ingenious theft like breaking in to computers to set your own credit rating is not a huge sin. It's an impulse which creatively channeled could be used to brilliant effect. Sadly, in your case, it has not. Yet. But I am going to protect you. Now because of Mr. Salter in the next few days we'll all be in the spotlight, and the Menders will be sent in to vet us to the very backs of our eyeballs. So you are now owning up, aren't you? Then give me the cards, you bloody idiot! Punishment: office staff training, for as long as it takes. Punishment reforms: the kind I dish out does."

The Mind of a Terrorist
Salter: "You've got to understand: I am the thing the security service fears the most. A spy who goes through Traitor's Gate willingly, and embraces everything he's been trained to destroy. I want to be with you, I want to be one of you. I've learned from you there is a world elsewhere."

On meeting Vogel, having previously asked the question "Bush, are we gonna pop him or what?" he is told: "We're going to occupy the mall, so Bush can't drive up it to the state banquet with the Queen." He tells them "Special Forces will mash you to bits", but they reply "We're not afraid of a fight. We found out where the gas main crosses the Mall. We just need to hold out long enough to dig down, set it alight. The disruption will be bigger than Stockholm."

It's clear Salter was expecting something much more radical, more defiant, and now that he knows this is all the "great anarchist" is capable of, he more or less disowns him and his band. Although Vogel probably doesn't really belong here in this section, as he's not technically a terrorist, it speaks more to the mindset of Salter, and there's of course a very thin line between patriotism and terrorism.

Salter, when asked why he betrayed all he held dear, not to mention his country: "Boredom. Crippling, chest-tearing, bum-clenching boredom. It's what this country has become: buy, sell, image. Credit card Nirvana. When the Soviet Union was cracked, we thought yeah, we got something. My father died for it: democracy. Now there's nothing. It's all gone. It's dead. No-one believes in anything any more. Then there was Andrea. This posh girl, turning herself inside out for what she believes. Passion for a new life; nearly broke her, but she's in good faith. I always thought that about you, Tom: you're in good faith."

Rivalries
Jools Siviter makes the distinction between MI5 and MI6 clear: "Are we going to have to come over the river and potty-train all your people? MI6 runs operations abroad, MI5 at home. English Channel, Calais, foreign bods and jolly south we take care. White cliffs of Dover, all British, Irish and assortments north, your concern."

He has little regard for Tom, as evidenced by his retort when the MI5 man says something: "Oh Tom, you spoke! So good to see you working on your skills!"

Harry however shows that MI5 are not without their resources. As Tom asks "Who's the girl?" referring to Andrea, and Jools sighs "Oh please! Can we all be up to speed?" Harry reels off the following information:
"Andrea Chambers, 25, no college, sushi bar co-owner, mother's money. Bar failed. "It" girl around town, weekend on a Yorkshire commune, never looked back since."

Siviter admits some grudging admiration for MI5, both for Salter when he asks wonderingly "How do these bastards in the field do it?" and for Harry, when, learning of the plan with the dead ground map, he remarks "Bloody imaginative for you, Harry!" Though he has to add a little cutting comment "I hope you've thought it through..." It's clear though that he wishes this had been his plan.

Jools wants to interrogate Salter, but Harry asserts his judisdiction: "Jools, until you and your cronies give me the push, this is my department. Tom will be the quizmaster."

Big Brother is watching!
As Tom, Harry and Jools (sorry he's not called Dick, but there you go) discuss the mission out in the street, a shabbily-dressed man passes and exchanges greetings with them. Only a few seconds later do we see him look back with a serious expression on his face. He is obviously more than he appears to be.

Jools takes them to a shop, where he tells the owner time to close up, and they go in the back. It leads to an observation station setup in the back room.

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Season 1: "Three million years from Earth..."

1.6 "Me2"

(As mentioned, this episode title is written like the mathematical sign for Me squared, though I suppose at a stretch it could also be called "Me too"... also as mentioned in the previous episode, this follows on directly from "Confidence and Paranoia", picking up at the very scene that one ended, and as such is the first two-parter, though the episodes are named separately. It's also the season finale.)

Holly's joke: We have enough food to last thirty thousand years but we've only got one "After Eight" mint left. And everyone's too polite to take it.

With the arrival of the second hologram of Rimmer (see previous episode, Confidence and Paranoia), Lister and Rimmer are preparing for the parting of the ways. Rimmer is going to move in with the duplicate him, next door, while Lister will remain in the cabin they have shared since he emerged out of stasis to find that he was the last human being alive. While sorting through their things and deciding what belongs to who, Lister comes across a video, which Rimmer tells him is a record of his death, which he had had Holly make for him. Lister shakes his head...

Lister helps Rimmer move out (the sooner the better, as far as he is concerned!), and then retires to their, now his, cabin, where he promptly proceeds to do all the things that used to get on Rimmer's nerves: he cracks his knuckles, he grinds his teeth, he leaves the top off the shampoo and squeezes the toothpaste tube from the middle. Then he finds Rimmer's death video, and on watching it hears Rimmer's last words as he dies: "Gazpacho soup!" He is most perplexed as to what this might mean, and determines to find out.

Meanwhile, next door the new Rimmer drives the other hard, pushing him to the limit as they exercise. Each tries to outdo the other in setting an ever earlier time to rise, and when they have settled on a rising time of 04.30, the time being 02.00, the new Rimmer pushes the old to revise instead of going to bed. Wandering the corridors of Red Dwarf at 05.00, Lister asks Rimmer about Gazpacho soup, but the hologram will not tell him what it means, which only makes Lister more determined to find out. He slips into Rimmer's quarters and finds the hologram's diary, wherein he sees a day marked as Gazpacho Soup Day, the date 6 weeks before the crew were all wiped out.

Raised voices are soon heard next door, as the Rimmers, each as fundamentally unlikeable as the other, argue and then the original Rimmer comes back in to Lister, advising him that they have had a little tiff. From this point onward, Rimmer and Rimmer are at war, with the result that Lister is eventually driven to erase one of them. He uses "ippy dippy my space shippy" to decide, since it is otherwise impossible to divine which Rimmer should be deleted, and ends up picking the original. He orders him to report to the drive room in ten minutes for deresolution, and before they proceed he gets Rimmer to explain about Gazpacho Soup Day. Seeing that he is going to be erased anyway, Rimmer decides to tell Lister.

Having been fourteen years with the Jupiter Mining Corporation, Rimmer was invited to the Captain's Table for dinner, but when he was served Gazpacho soup he did not realise that it was supposed to be served cold! He complained to the chef, and got him to bring back the soup, heated up. The looks on the faces of the officers still haunt him, and he knew then he would never again eat at the Captain's Table. Lister tells him that it was a mistake anyone could have made, but he is not to be mollified. However, after having him spill his soul, Lister tells Rimmer that he has in fact erased the other Rimmer, but didn't tell this one because he wanted to get the truth behind Rimmer's last words.

Best quotes/lines/scenes

The parting of the ways:

RIMMER: "Ah, Lister, this is one the best decisions I ever made. No more you and your stupid, annoying face. No more you and your stupid, annoying habits."
LISTER: "Me? What did ]i]I[/i] do?"
RIMMER: "You hummed. Maliciously and persistently for two years. Every time I sat down to do some revision: MMMMmmMMmMmMMMmMMMMMMMmmm--"
LISTER: "Hang on, hang on. Are you saying you never became an officer because you shared your quarters with someone who hummed?"
RIMMER: "Obviously not just that, Lister. Everything! Everything you ever did was designed to hold me back and annoy me."
LISTER: "Like what?"
RIMMER: "Like using my mother's photograph as an ashtray."
LISTER: "I didn't know! I thought it was a souvenir from Titan Zoo."
RIMMER: "Exchanging the symbols on my revision timetable so instead of taking my Engineering Finals, I went swimming."
LISTER: "The symbols fell off. I thought I put them back in the right place."
RIMMER: "Swapping my toothpaste for a tube of contraceptive jelly."
LISTER: "Come on! That was a joke!"
RIMMER: "Yes, Lister, the same kind of joke as putting my name down on the waiting list for experimental pile surgery."
LISTER: "It's not only one-way, Rimmer. You're hardly Mr. Nice Guy, Mr. Easy-To-Live-With!"
RIMMER: "What are you talking about?"
LISTER: "I'm talking about playing your self-hypnosis tapes all through the night. Learn Esperanto While You Sleep.Learn Quantum Theory While You Sleep."
RIMMER: "We both got the same benefit."
LISTER: "Yeah, neither of us got any sleep. And what about the time you tied me hair to the bedpost and then sounded the fire alarm?"
RIMMER: "Lister, I did that because I was sick of you annoying me. I don't have to explain it."
LISTER: "I nearly needed brain surgery!"
RIMMER: "What brains? The point is you've always stopped me being successful. That's a scientific fact."
LISTER: "Rimmer, you can't blame me for your lousy life."
RIMMER: "Oh, yes, I can."
LISTER: "See? It's always the same. You never had the right pens for your G.E. drawing. Your dividers don't stretch far enough."
RIMMER: "Well, they don't!"
LISTER: "See? In the end you can't turn around and say, I'm sorry I buggered up my life. It's all Lister's fault!"
RIMMER: "Well, I'm not, am I? I'm moving out. Out of Slob City and into Successville."
LISTER: "What, you mean next door?"
RIMMER: "It's not the place, Lister. It's the company. I'm about to share my life with someone who'll give me encouragement and understanding. The thrust and parry of meaningful conversation."

Lister watches Rimmer's death-video...

On the monitor the words: "A Tribute to Arnold J. Rimmer, BSc, SSc"
appear, accompanied by dramatic music.

HOLLY: "BSc, SSc?" What's that?
LISTER: "Bronze Swimming certificate and Silver Swimming certificate. He's a total lunatic."
RIMMER: (On the video) "Hello. This video pays homage to a man who fell short of greatness by a gnat's wing. Before we see a digitalised recording of his final moments, there's going to be a lengthy tribute, interspersed with poetry readings, read by me."
LISTER: "Whoa-ho! Spin on!" (The video fast forwards.) "Okay, Hol. Put it in motion." (The video continues.)
RIMMER: (On the video) "...and if it hadn't been for those people who kept dragging him down, pulling him down, pulling him back..."
LISTER: "Spin on!" (The video fast forwards and continues.)
RIMMER: (On the video) "...if you put Napoleon in quarters with Lister, he'd still be in Corsica, peeling spuds."
LISTER: (A mite peeved) "Spin on!" (The video fast forwards and continues.)
RIMMER: (On the video) "...we see the final moments of Arnold J. Rimmer."
LISTER: "Yes!"

On the video, Captain Hollister is in the Drive Room yelling at Rimmer who is standing at attention. A few random officers stand in the back.

HOLLISTER: (On the video to Rimmer) "Look, it was your job to fix it, Rimmer! You can't do sloppy work on the drive plate!"
RIMMER: (On the video) "I know, sir, and I accept full responsibility for any consequences." (Executes a Full-Rimmer salute.)

A blinding white light glares and everyone is blown across the room by a tremendous wind.

HOLLY: (On the video) "Emergency. There's an emergency going on. It's still going on. Will Arnold J. Rimmer please hurry to white corridor 159. This is an emergency announcement."

We see RIMMER as he is thrown against a wall, screaming.

RIMMER: (On the video) "Aaaaaiiiiiiiuuuuurrrrghhhhh... Gazpacho soup!"

Rimmer pushes Rimmer...

The two Rimmers are exercising by squatting then leaping high into the air, throwing their arms above them.

RIMMER #2: "Stretch further!"
RIMMER: (Stopping) "And rest."
RIMMER #2: (Still jumping) "No! Keep jumping!"
RIMMER: (Jumping some more) "Absolutely. Keep on going. Through the pain barrier."
RIMMER #2: "Jump, jump, jump!"
RIMMER: (Stopping again) "And rest."
RIMMER #2: (Still jumping) "What are you doing, man?!"
RIMMER: "I'm resting! It's going all gray!"
RIMMER #2: "That's the pain barrier! Beat it!"
RIMMER: (Jumping awkwardly) "You're right. You're absolutely right. Keep it going."
RIMMER #2: (Stopping) "And rest."
RIMMER: (Collapsing) "Brilliant! That extra little bit.That's what it's all about."
RIMMER #2: "What time do we get up?"
RIMMER: "Oh, early! Half past eight?"
RIMMER #2: "No, earlier than that. Seven."
RIMMER: "How 'bout six?"
RIMMER #2: "No, half past four."
RIMMER: "That's the middle of the night!"
RIMMER #2: "You wanted driving. I'm driving you."
RIMMER: "Once again, Arnold, you're absolutely right. Holly, alarm call four-thirty in the morning. Make it the sonic boom, extra loud, emergency one."
HOLLY: "Yes, Arnold. And Arnold."

RIMMER starts to crawl into bed

RIMMER #2: "Uh, what are you doing, Arnold?"
RIMMER: "I'm going to bed, Arnold."
RIMMER #2: "But it's two in the morning! We can get in a couple hours of revision easily."
RIMMER: "But I'm getting up in a minute..."
RIMMER #2: "You take Power Circuits and Esperanto. I'll take Thermal Energy and the History of Philosophy."
RIMMER: (Getting up) "Fantastic! This is what I've always dreamed of! I'm in heaven!"
RIMMER #2: "Better than sex!"

Rimmer's diary:
LISTER: "My Diary, by Arnold J. Rimmer. January the first: I have decided to keep a journal of my thoughts and deeds over the coming year; a daily chart of my progress through the echelons of command, so that perhaps one day, other aspiring officers may seek enlightenment through these pages. It is my fond hope that, one day, this journal will take its place alongside `Napoleon's War Diaries' and `The Memoirs of Julius Caesar'." Next entry... (Flips ahead.) "July the seventeenth: Auntie Maggie's Birthday." (Flips ahead.) "November the twenty-fifth: Gazpacho Soup day!" That's six weeks before the crew got wiped out!"

Holly plays an "April Fool" joke on Lister:

HOLLY: "Busy, Dave?"
LISTER: "Well, yeah, I am, actually!"
HOLLY: "Oh. Then you won't want to know about the two super-lightspeed fighters that are tracking us."
LISTER: "What?!"
HOLLY: "I'll leave you to your bubble blowing, mate."
LISTER: "No, Holly. Hol. Come on."
HOLLY: "They're from Earth."
LISTER: "That's three million years away."
HOLLY: "They're from the NorWEB Federation."
LISTER: "What's that?"
HOLLY: "NorthWestern Electricity Board. They want you, Dave."
LISTER: "Me? Why? What for?"
HOLLY: "For your crimes against humanity."
LISTER: "You what?!"
HOLLY: "Seems when you left Earth, three million years ago, you left two half-eaten German sausages on a plate in your kitchen."
LISTER: "Did I?"
HOLLY: "You know what happens to sausages left unattended for three million years?"
LISTER: "Yeah, they go mouldy."
HOLLY: "Your sausages, Dave, now cover seven-eighths of the Earth's surface. Also, you left seventeen pounds, fifty pence in your bank account. Thanks to compound interest you now own 98% of all the world's wealth. And because you hoarded it for three million years, nobody's got any money except for you and NorWEB."
LISTER: "Why NorWEB?"
HOLLY: "You left a light on in the bathroom. I've got a final demand here for one hundred and eighty billion pounds."
LISTER: "A hundred and eighty billion pounds?!! You're kidding!"
HOLLY: (Wearing a Grouch-Marx glasses-nose-and-moustache) "April Fool."
LISTER: "But it's not April!"
HOLLY: "Yeah, I know. But I can't be waiting six months with a red-hot jape like that underneath me hat."

The Rimmers have a tiff:

RIMMER: (Hurt) "I'm not gonna stand here and take this abuse."
RIMMER #2: (Sneering) "Oh, yes, when the going gets tough, the tough go and have a little cry in the corner. You got a sponge for a backbone! No wonder father hated you!"
RIMMER: "That's a lie! A lie, lie, lie, lie, lie!"
RIMMER #2: "Then why didn't he send you to the academy?"
RIMMER: "He couldn't afford it!"
RIMMER #2: "Oh! He sent all our brothers!"
RIMMER: "You're a filthy, smegging, lying, smegging liar!"
RIMMER #2: "Face facts, man, nobody likes you! Not even Mummy!"
RIMMER: (Almost crying) "Mummy did like me! Mummy was just busy. She had a lot of meetings to go to."
RIMMER #2: "Twaddle!"
RIMMER: "You better watch what you say about my mummy! I'm a grown man and I'm not going to accept it."
RIMMER #2: (Shouting) "Oh, grow up, Mr. Gazpacho!!"
RIMMER: (Quietly) "Mister what?"
RIMMER #2: (Shouting) "I ... SAID ... MISTER ... GAZ ... PAAAACHO, DEAFIE!!!"
RIMMER: (Crying) "That is the most obscenely hurtful thing."
RIMMER #2: (Shouting) "GOOD!"
RIMMER: "That is the straw that broke the dromedary, that is. You're finished, Rimmer."
RIMMER #2: (Snarling) "No, YOU'RE finished, Rimmer!"

Following on from this, Rimmer is now back in his old place, sleeping for the night on his old bunk. Rimmer 2, however, is not finished.

LISTER: "It's just I thought I heard, you know, um, raised voices?"
RIMMER: "Heh. It's quite an amusing thought, isn't it? Having a... a blazing row with yourself."
RIMMER #2: (Shouting in Rimmer's Quarters) "HIT THE WALL! GO ON! HIT THE WALL! GO ON! YEAH! YEAH!"

We see RIMMER #2 is directing the scutters to hit the adjoining wall for him.

RIMMER #2: (Shouting through the wall) "CAN YOU SHUT UP, RIMMER?! SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!"
RIMMER: (To LISTER) "Obviously, we have professional disagreements. But, I mean, nothing with any side to it. Nothing malicious."
RIMMER #2: (Shouting through the wall) "SHUT UP, YA DEAD GIT!"
RIMMER: (Getting up) "Excuse me a second, Lister, will you?"

He walks calmly to the door.

RIMMER: "STOP YOUR FOUL WHINING, YA FILTHY PIECE OF DISTENDED RECTUM!!!"

He calmly turns back.

RIMMER: "Lister, there's no point in concealing it anymore. Rimmer and me, we've had a bit of a tiff. Nothing major. But it goes without saying, IT WAS HIS FAULT!"

Lister has to choose which Rimmer to delete, so uses the most scientific and fair method available to him...

LISTER: "Ippy-dippy, my space shippy, on a course so true, past Neptune and Pluto's moon, the one I choose is you." He ends pointing to RIMMER.
RIMMER #2: "Excellent! Excellent decision, Listie! Turn him off."
RIMMER: "And the one you end on is the one who stays, yes?"
LISTER: (Firmly to RIMMER) "It's you, Rimmer."
RIMMER: "Wait a minute. Just wait a minute. Hold your horses. Hang on."
LISTER: It's your own fault, Rimmer. If you'd've given me Kochanski's hologram, none of this would've happened. You made the bed, you lie in it. Drive Room. Ten minutes."
RIMMER #2: "Drive Room. Five minutes."
RIMMER: "I don't believe it. I've been "ippy-dippied" to death."

Gazpacho soup!

RIMMER: "I suppose now I'm doomed, I can tell you. Gazpacho soup. It was the greatest night of my life. I'd been invited to the Captain's Table. I'd only been with the company fourteen years. Six officers and me! They called me "Arnold." We had gazpacho soup for starters. I didn't know gazpacho soup was meant to be served cold. I called over the chef and I told him to take it away and bring it back hot. He did! The looks on their faces still haunt me today!!" (Crying) "I thought they were laughing at the chef, when all the time, they were laughing at me as I ate my piping hot gazpacho soup! I never ate at the Captain's Table again. That was the end of my career."

NOTES
I haven't really made an attempt to write much extra material about Red Dwarf up to now, as the show is so funny and clever it really needs nothing added from me, but I feel here I need to talk about the final episode in season one. As mentioned earlier, it's the first episode that follows on directly, scene for scene, from the previous one, and so essentially is the only Red Dwarf two-parter, until season eight, when the opening episode, "Back in the red" is split into three parts. But up to the end of season seven, there were no other episodes leading into others, bar the ending two episodes from that season, "Epideme" and "Nanarchy", which more or less ran into each other, the story from the one spilling over into, and having resonance with the other. Generally speaking though, these episodes were the exception rather than the rule.

The true awful truth about Arnold J. Rimmer is made painfully apparent to him in this episode. Who else, when given the chance to bring someone back from the dead to be their companion and/or ally, would choose a copy of themselves? But factor in that Rimmer had, in life, no friends at all, no colleagues who didn't despise him, no lover and only one person who had actually slept with him (and that by accident), and you can see his problem. In fact, sad as it may seem, Lister, whom he has nothing but contempt for, is the closest thing Arnie has to a friend. Even the Cat took an instant dislike to the man.

But then, faced with that decision, who to bring back, he could have earned huge brownie points and been a real friend to Lister by allowing him to bring Kochanski back, except he knows that, should that occur, Lister would no longer need him, and so at some point might order Holly to delete him. At best, Rimmer would be left to wander the lonely corridors of Red Dwarf, trying to fill up his time, with nobody wanting to talk to him or spend time with him. You can almost feel sorry for him in such a scenario, until you remember what a total smeghead he is, and realise he brings this treatment down on himself. If he hadn't spent so much time in "Confidence and Paranoia" trying to prevent Lister from retrieving the holodisc, and then, when Dave found it, if he had admitted defeat and let him have his wish, perhaps after all Lister might have been better disposed towards him.

As it is, Lister is delighted to get rid of Arnie, and quickly gets over his disappointment about Kochanski when he realises he will no longer have to share his quarters with Rimmer. The hologram is just as happy, believing that it is Lister, and people like him, who have held him back throughout his career, and his life. Now, with only himself for company, literally, he'll be finally able to achieve all those things he failed to accomplish when alive. Perhaps he can even take the exam and become an officer! Without Lister, as he says in his death video, dragging him back, dragging him down, he'll be able to climb up, up, the ziggaraut, lickety-split!

Ah, but...

Rimmer has failed to factor in one very important fact. He is, in any incarnation (apart from one we will meet in season four) and any life a total and utter smeghead, and multiplying that by two just gives you two smegheads. Worse, two smegheads, each of whom believe they are always right, superior in every way. As he says to Lister later, it's quite an amusing thought, having a blazing row with yourself, but this is exactly what happens. As someone once said, hell is being locked in a room with all your friends forever. Rimmer soon finds it is even worse to be locked in a room with yourself. There's nowhere to hide. All the little annoying things about your "roommate" you now notice, all the little sounds he makes, the way he walks and talks, the things he does, the expressions, the platitudes: they're all you. You're looking in a living mirror, and if there's something wrong with the reflection you're seeing there's something wrong with you.

Rimmer soon learns that living with himself is not the rosebed he had envisaged. You see, Rimmer has a certain view of himself that does not tally with reality. He does not, cannot, see the way he treats other people, the condescension, the arrogance, the lack of a sense of humour, the short temper. He thinks everyone else is wrong and he's right. But when he can see himself doing these things, he is forced to admit that maybe after all he is not the perfect speciment of mankind, the officer-in-waiting, the man who was cruelly denied all the advantages he should have had: he is not the man he thinks he is. He is, to put it quite plainly and simply, a goit.

And what is worse, he realises too (although the episode does not make this clear; the book does) that the Rimmer he has brought back to life is the original one, the one from three million years ago. Like it or not, his exposure to Lister and the Cat, even the batty Holly has changed him. It's a marginal change, for certain, and doesn't do much to soften his approach to people, but day by day, month by month, year by year a little of his self-assuredness and smugness is being chipped away, like the wind eroding a mountain, or water lapping over the course of millennia at a rock. Slowly, very, very slowly, he has changed to be perhaps 0.00000000001 percent less of a git than he used to be. He is, to put it simply, improving, if only the tiniest bit.

His double, on the other hand, has had no such exposure and is exactly as he was before the accident that wiped out the crew. He still thinks he's number one, that everyone else is inferior and determined to prove himself. He sneers at the proper Rimmer's lack of discipline, stamina and mettle. To put it mildly, he hates the current Rimmer, probably more than he hates anyone else. In fact, he doesn't even hate Lister --- he doesn't care about him, but devotes no time to annoying or browbeating him the way the original one did. He's more interested in tearing down his double and coming out on top. Maybe somewhere in his hologrammatic mind, the mind of Arnold J. Rimmer, he knows that a time is coming when the computer will have to switch one of them off, and he doesn't intend that it be him!

Rimmer's self-absorption knows no bounds: who else but he would have his death recorded and then narrate poetry and make it into a tribute to himself? Who else would compare himself to Napoleon? He even goes so far in his pettiness as to demand back from Lister, not the posters in their cabin, but the blue-tac that holds them to the wall! But he finds he cannot match the pace of his younger (three million years younger!) copy and as a result the copy looks down upon him with the sort of contempt the real Rimmer usually lavishes only on Lister. It's quite a turnaround: Rimmer is not used to being sneered at, certainly not by someone he looks up to and admires, ie himself. There's no defence: he can't say anything against the other Rimmer, because the two are one and the same person, and they each know the other. All their secrets, all their shames are shared, culminating in the height of the row when the new Rimmer uses the most hurtful insult he can on the old, calling him Mister Gazpacho.

Finally pushed to his limits, and having got what fun he can out of watching the two Rimmers squabble, Lister decides one of them has to go. He tells them it's a toss-up; he doesn't care who it is that's deleted. But in reality he probably knows that if he has to keep a Rimmer it may as well be "his" Rimmer: the copy is too much like the man he used to work under, and as I said, even though it's the very tiniest improvement, Lister must be able to see that the Rimmer who is with him now is ever so slightly better than the one he worked with three millennia ago. Very slightly. Case of the devil you know, really.

http://s5.postimg.org/5eg47gf2v/Seasonsend.jpg
Having now just published the last episode in season one of Red Dwarf, I will shortly be finishing off Love/Hate, and have written the endings for Supernatural and Babylon 5. As each is published, I will be taking a break from these series --- probably on the order of a month; may be more, may be less --- before coming back to them to start a new season. This is to enable me to concentrate both on the newer series I'm working on and some others I intend to introduce soon. As I have also my main journal, and Bitesize, plus my other writing and what I laughingly call a life to fit in, this will allow me a little breathing space.

So, if you've enjoyed the writeups so far, great, but be aware that once I complete a season of a series it will be "going on hiatus" for a while. I will of course always get back to them, be assured of that, but I do need to prioritise, and series I haven't covered yet or am in the middle of writing about would certainly have to take precedence over ones on which I've completed a season. I also need a little time to get some reviews of films going.

So bear with me; your favourite series will be back, but once they reach the end of a season I will be taking a break from them. Never fear though: there are plenty others to fill the gap in the meantime!