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Welcome to the wonderful world of Marillion! What albums have you heard? Need any recs?

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Trollheart

Clutching at straws (1987) Produced by Chris Kimsey on the EMI Label


An album of endings, many bittersweet. With the completion of the trilogy of their first three albums and the chart success they had not hunted but achieved almost accidentally it seemed under their belt, Marillion had to face the growing tensions within their unit. Fish, disheartened by the treadmill of touring and concerned about the costs, was drinking heavily and this album reflects his thoughts on the eventual slide into oblivion the title character experiences, and which he feared might become also his fate. The album would soon be followed by his own departure from the band, a hammerblow to us Marillion fanatics (or Freaks if you prefer) that we somehow got over.

"Clutching at straws" also marked the second and final outing with producer Chris Kimsey, who had taken charge of what is still their most commercially successful album, "Misplaced childhood". The title is of course subtle as a sledgehammer and demonstrates Fish's frustration with the direction Marillion were heading in, as well as his own problems. With the departure of the Jester on the previous album, the only remnant left of him --- and it would be the last --- is shown on the front cover, where Torch, the main character, has a jester's cap stuffed into his pocket. Perhaps a belief that it was time to put childish things away, which would have totally dovetailed had "Childhood's end?" been the final track on "Misplaced childhood". Oh well.

The album is again a concept, centred, as you might not be too surprised to learn, around the idea of alcoholism and the damage it can do. As already mentioned the protagonist is Torch, an out-of work man who rants and raves against society and the injustices he sees perpetrated against him, in a drunken haze. Once again, it's a dark album, returning somewhat to the concepts explored in "Script for a jester's tear" and "Fugazi", and indeed some of the heavier parts on "Misplaced childhood". There's little doubt that Torch is at least semi-autobiographical of Fish himself, and his dissatisfaction with many things in his life, including his time with Marillion.

1. Hotel hobbies (3:35) --- Beginning on a low, muted synth and soft stummed guitar then almost marimba-style rapid keyboards, the song describes Torch's efforts to write music while staying at a hotel, possibly on the road with his band. Fish's voice at first comes relatively quiet as he introduces the vocal before Mosley's drums crash in and the whole thing goes off at full tilt, Fish now raving as he declares angrily "The only sign of life is the ticking of the pen, introducing characters to memory like old friends, frantic as a cardiograph, scratching out the lines." After a guitar solo it then falls back to a quieter, more reserved tone, rather like the opening part and this, like much of the album, slides directly into the next track.

2. Warm wet circles (4:25) --- Depicting the innocence of youth lost, this track rides mostly on a jangly guitar sound from Rothery, the initial vocal again relatively reserved as Fish sings about "Chalking up a name in your home town, standing all your mates to another round." The title is used to represent various things, from a bullet hole to a kiss, and from rings on a bar counter to, um, something a little more sexual. Very clever and again great examples of Fish's songwriting talent. Another great line is "As the glancing headlights of the last bus kiss adolescence goodbye", as the young girl decides to let the bus home go and heads off to have her first sexual encounter. The vocal gets more intense and angry in the closing minutes, Fish growling out the lyric as the girl realises she is perhaps just "Giving it away before it's too late".

3. That time of the night (The short straw) (6:00) --- A great little bassline introduces the opening lyric, "It was a wedding ring, destined to be found in a cheap hotel; lost in the kitchen sink or thrown in a wishing well", which really brings home the stark nature of the encounter he describes. It also refers back a little to the "wedding rings dancing on the cold linoleum" from "Emerald lies" off "Fugazi", perhaps. An emotional solo from Steve Rothery eventually breaks down and the main melody comes in on guitar and keys, mid-paced and low-key. For the chorus it all ramps up as Fish again spits out the lyric angrily, declaring "If my owners let me have some free time some day with all good intentions, I would probably run away." The final lyric screams the title of the previous track, bringing it somewhat full circle.

4. Going under (2:47) --- When I bought the album originally this was not on it, as it was vinyl, and I only came across it on the twelve-inch single of "Incommunicado", but it's part of the CD issue so I'll include it here. It's a very introspective song, wherein Torch realises that he is sinking further and further down into alcohol-fuelled dementia but sees himself unable to do anything about it. "Is it wrong to talk to myself even when there's nobody else?" He asks. The song is carried on a soft jingly guitar backed by a dark, moody synth with the same basic melody all the way through. At the end Torch sighs "Am I so crazy?" probably knowing the answer but not wanting to face it.

5. Just for the record (3:09) --- Fully under the influence now, Torch tries to excuse his drinking, the tempo seriously kicked up and driven on squealing guitar from Rothery and high trumpeting keyboard from Kelly, with punching drums from Mosley. "Just finding inspiration, that's my excuse!" he snaps. Another great line in "Too late! I found it's too far! I'm in two minds and both of them are out of it at the bar!" Super little keyboard solo from Kelly almost reminiscent of parts of "Grendel" then the song ends abruptly. Torch kids himself "Just for the record: it's just a passing phase. Just for the record: I can stop any day!"

6. White Russian (6:27) --- Opening on a muttered "Where do we go from here?" from Fish, this is a much slower song, almost the comedown after Torch's drink-fuelled rant, and contains hard punchy guitar as Torch rails against everything from censorship --- "The DJ resigned today: they wouldn't let him have his say" --- to bigotry and racism --- "Burning down the synagogues, Uzis on a street corner" and asks repeatedly "Where do we go from here?" In the middle the song breaks down into a sort of reprise of the piano theme from "Fugazi" as Torch laments "We buy fresh bagels from the corner store, where swastikas are spat from aerosols." and asks "Are we sitting on a barbed-wire fence, racing the clouds home?" one of my favourite of Fish's lyrics, so evocative.

7. Incommunicado (5:16) --- The most commercial and radio-friendly track on the album, basically its "Punch and Judy", this was of course chosen as a single and is upbeat and uptempo, though with dark messages in the lyric as Torch grins "I'd be really pleased to meet you if only I could remember your name, but I got problems with my memory ever since I got a winner in the fame game!" It's almost "Market Square Heroes" in its rhythm, with big boppy bubbling synth from Kelly and snappy guitar from Rothery. Torch however is not doing as well as he could with his band, as he admits "I don't want to be the back page interview ... currently residing in the Where are they now? file, toupee on the cabaret scene." Another great keys solo from Kelly then everything slows down for the next track.

8. Torch song (4:05) --- Torch examines his life in a rare moment of sobriety perhaps, and muses on all the things he has lost, all the mistakes he has made in his life, and what alcohol has taken from him, what he has allowed it to take from him. On a sombre guitar melody, the vocal is more restrained, contemplative as Torch sings "Doctor says my liver looks like leaving with my lover" and is warned by his doctor that he may not reach the age of thirty if he continues drinking the way he is. But he admits "It's getting late in the game to show any pride or shame". And he philosophically ruminates, "It's a romantic way to go really, isn't it? Part of the heritage." He muses too on the women he picks up, possibly groupies: "Pullin' seventeen with experience and dreams, sweatin' out a Happy Hour, when you're hidin' twenty-nine, you know it ain't a crime."

9. "Slainte mhath" (4:44) --- Pronounced "slawn-cha vaw", it's the old Irish toast, "good health", and this track tries to celebrate the role of alcohol in the music industry. Torch is being interviewed and can't really find anything to tell the reporter, bit like the one who accosted Fish in "Mylo" on the previous album. Nice upbeat guitar riff running through this which then turns into a powerful chorus. Torch explains (perhaps to himself) that alcohol takes him away from all the nasty things in his life he does not want to remember, "From the realisation that all we've been left behind is to stand like our fathers before us in the firing line."

10. Sugar mice (5:46) --- Most people will know this one. It was a minor hit for Marillion and is the main ballad on the album, as Torch sits in a hotel room and thinks about the family he has deserted, left behind. Again Rothery's guitar informs the main melody, though more laidback this time. Torch thinks back over his life "Trying to find out where to lay the blame. But when it gets right down to it there's no use trying to pretend. When it gets right down to it there's no-one left to take the blame. Blame it on me." He realises everything that he has done is his own fault and others have paid the price for his excessive drinking. Great emotional guitar solo and a powerful vocal performance from Fish as Torch yells "I know what I feel, know what I want, I know what I am..." When he phones his wife to try to explain he is heartsick at the sound of his children in the background and realising how much he has let them all down. Another great line is "If you want my address it's number one at the end of the bar, where I sit with the broken angels, clutching at straws and nursing our scars."

11. The last straw (5:58) --- The pwoerful conclusion to the album, with a marching beat and almost triumphant sound but it signals Torch's final slide into oblivion as he (presumably) takes his own life, as well as Fish's almost-final sermon with Marillion. Torch groans "We live our lives in a private shell, ignoring our senses and fool ourselves into thinking that out there someone cares, someone to answer all our prayers." He muses that "We're terminal cases who keep taking medicine, pretending the end isn't quite that near." Again it's quite "Fugazi", both in its melody and rhythm and its lyrical themes. There's a dark undercurrent in the synth that comes in near the end, and the title is again repeated here, though there is in fact no title track. Torch snarls as he prepares either to end it all or stagger off in another drunken haze "If you ever come across us don't give us your sympathy! You can buy us a drink or just shake our hands. And you'll recognise by the reflection in our eyes that deep down inside we're all one and the same: we're clutching at straws, we're still drowning!"

It's a dark end to a dark album, but it's realistic. Unless you seek help and want to change, if you're an alcoholic there is only one path left to you. There's a final macabre joke from Fish at the end, with the "last track" called "Happy ending". It lasts precisely no seconds, and is merely Fish yelling "NO!" and then laughing off into the distance. An indication, perhaps, that he'd had enough and would not be with Marillion for much longer? Or just Torch losing the last battle with his inner demons and ending his life? Whichever, "Clutching at straws" helped make his mind up and a few short months later he had split with the band, leading to cries of despair, hand-wringing and predictions of the band's demise the length and breadth of the land.

"Clutching at straws" stands as one of not only the fans' favourite Fish-era Marillion album, but his own favourite too. It spawned a hit single, though nothing like "Kayleigh" or "Lavender", and laid to rest forever the ghost of the Jester, who never again featured nor was even mentioned or referred to in future Marillion albums. Fish would go on to have a moderately successful solo career, which I will delve into soon, and Marillion? Well, they would survive, but by adapting and changing their sound, often to a degree that was close to unrecognisable. The split would of course divide fans, some of whom would see Fish as a traitor for "abandoning" the band, others who would refuse to listen to the Fishless Marillion. But it never bothered me. To my mind, it just meant twice as much Marillion to listen to.

Coming up next: "Seasons end" and a new beginning with the rebirth of Marillion, while Fish finds his own voice in a rather reflective wilderness...

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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018