The best way to describe Metal
 

So what do you guys think is the best way to describe metal i'll make a list of the funny un's in this post. Me and ona my friends were talking about it the other day..

Its not true metal unless your severly pissed off at nothing at the end of the song.
True metal can only be described as being punched in the face by an angry gorrilla.
From the public:
Maddest Hatter: It's good metal if you can use it to drown out construction noises.
Gentleman Johnny: Metal music is like Mortal Kombat in music form
Right- track: Metal is like stuffing a hand grenade in your ear and pulling the pin
Perfectionthrusilence/shooting Star: Its only real metal if the vocalist sounds like he's vomiting up a fetus
ClownBaby: Metal is like the part in Jurassic Park where the T Rex eats the goat
Perfectionthrusilence: ^Wrong. It's like the part in Jurassic Park where the T Rex eats Martin Ferrero off of a toilet.
Zero1986:Metal is the soundtrack to war in Middle-Earth.
Brock_West: Metal is like being raped in the ears by sweaty middle-aged men screaming and biting the heads off of babies AND LIKING IT
SATCHMO: something to keep you **** hard until you can find the cheese grater.

neither of those were funny.

Metal is an amalgamation of different textures, ideas, and sounds, that when combined create some of the heaviest, most terrifying, extremely creative, and groove filled songs.

Ahh well i enjoyed them

Metal... The other white noise!
Metal... Headbang!
It's good metal if you can use it to drown out construction noises.

It's all in the riffs baby!

ahh im listenin to pigs at this very moment.. nice sig i do say

construction noises! we have a winner

mortal kombat in music form.

Like stuffing an hand grenade in your ear, then pulling the pin.

metal is like a 7.6% monthly interest rate on your $200,000 RV.

Hah......read my signature.








(joking BTW)

Well, if you look up the definition of bad music you can find some freakishly similar to the definition of metal. That is the only clue I will give you.

How does one describe metal? Answer: \m/

Metal...ist krieg

^funniest thing in this thread by far.

This is metal:

http://culturerock.canalblog.com/images/CG_Burzum.jpg

Metal is like the part in Jurassic Park where the T Rex eats the goat

Eww
 

Metal to me is a band playing loud music and screaming at the top of their lungs...

Not very enjoyable to me, but thats just my opinion!!

^Wrong. It's like the part in Jurassic Park where the T Rex eats Martin Ferrero off of a toilet.

Metal is depression, hate, fear, anticipation, regret, enjoyment, (place adjective here), and sex all rolled into a ball of evil and released through the thrashing of a hand on something such as a guitar, bass, or drum or escaping through an unhuman squeal or scream into a microphone.

IT'S THE DEVIL, BILLY!




(Actually, I quite liked how riseagainstrocks put it)
For the record, I think that the show "Metalocalypse" is very true to what metal is supposed to be, even though it's ridiculous.
Dethklok is tight, loud, hard, didactic, slightly Satanic, and just plain awesome.

http://www.thesimpsons.com/bios/imag...guests_tap.gif

SPINAL TAP ALREADY DID IT.

http://homepage.mac.com/kingdomofste.../menu-home.jpg

THIS IS METAL

Isn't thier some forum rule about pornagraphic pics?

^It's album art, so it might work.

Are Manowar still going? they were crap when they started out.

This is metal. This guy is such an idiot (blond hair-Thor!)
http://www.thorcentral.com/mp_redesi...groupcolor.jpg

So metal is homoerotic, nerdy, dungeons and dragons, sadists and massacists, ugly, losers with bad hair?

Ethan: 1
Metal: 0

*Masochists

Starving: 1
Ethan: 0

metal - long hair and big concerts

lame

best way to describe rock is a form of releasing the beast within

well arent you creative...

Adolescent Trainspotting

watever

never been good at quoting anyway

If you don't have a guitar with good distortion, and a heavy bass sound coming from the bass guitar and bass drums, you do not have the core sound of metal. (Or good metal anyway.)

Metal is just another voice in the world of music speaking it's own mind in a more raw, powerful, progressive, loud way. Whether it's innovative and technical or simple and repetitive, it's no different from the rest of music other than it's sound. The message and heart is still the same.

:tramp:


this is the least metal post in this thread

Baha. Yes.

Oh, you want metal?

There is no God or Jesus in metal. You are only to worship the gods Rock and Roll, Odin, Thor.

There is no Bible either. In order to be fully dedicated to metal, you music jack off on a daily basis to the book Beowolf while also watching Immortal music videos and listening to Manowar.

If you see anyone playing metal in the name of the lord, do not be fooled. This isn't the Dark Lord. This is the ***lord, and this is not metal. Your birthright and purpose in life is to crash these bands' performances called "hardcore shows" with piss balloons and empty beer bottles while chanting "Death to False Metal" and "Black Metal! Lay down your soul to the Gods Rock and Roll."

You are part of a Brotherhood where any other form of music is forbidden and is considered an abomination. If it doesn't involve wearing bear skin on your backs, having axes on your side, shredding humans, men made of iron, or heavily distorted guitars that overpower the bass, it's not metal.

this was supposed to be funny ways to describe metal people...

Humor has no place in metal, blasphemer. Metal is dark and brutal and full of hate.