The Official Tool Thread

[Scarlett O'Hara]

Originally Posted by Forward To Death

"H" and "Third Eye" stand out, but there isn't a track that I don't love.

Ah okay, fair enough. I particularly love Hooker With A Penis and Forty Six & 2.

[MyName]

Tool and the Worst Songs of All Time

[Janszoon]

Originally Posted by BastardofYoung

Yeah, he wrote this hilariously awful review.
Radiohead: Kid A | Album Reviews | Pitchfork

Heh. I was going to link to that myself but didn't want to turn this into a conversation about Radiohead.

[Scarlett O'Hara]

Originally Posted by MyName

Tool and the Worst Songs of All Time

Yes, I am one of those Tool fans! But I was really one of those fans when I was 14, now not so much, because generally I listen to them for my own satisfaction.

[P A N]

critics are the most boring people alive. if you ever get the chance to punch one, take it.

"i'm just gonna sit here, think about other peoples' thoughts, bash them or exalt them, then sell my verbal meanderings to a world of people more bored and useless than i am."

like, f*ck off man. is that all you've got? write something that will withstand the test of time. then you can call yourself worthwhile.

[MyName]

Originally Posted by P A N

critics are the most boring people alive. if you ever get the chance to punch one, take it.

"i'm just gonna sit here, think about other peoples' thoughts, bash them or exalt them, then sell my verbal meanderings to a world of people more bored and useless than i am."

like, f*ck off man. is that all you've got? write something that will withstand the test of time. then you can call yourself worthwhile.

And now you're criticizing critics.

[P A N]

Originally Posted by MyName

And now you're criticizing critics.

good observation.

[Forward To Death]

Originally Posted by MyName

Tool and the Worst Songs of All Time

See, Tool IS a band that people struggle to figure out, and the fact that so many of "those" fans exist just goes to show that their music challenges your brain. With that said, I don't feel like Tool is a band that only smart people get, and I definitely agree that a bunch of complete idiots listen to Tool, but that's going to happen with anything, especially a band with as many fans as Tool.

Any idiot can listen to Tool and feel smart, just like any idiot can write an article that simplifies very complex music and feel smart.

[BastardofYoung]

Originally Posted by Janszoon

Heh. I was going to link to that myself but didn't want to turn this into a conversation about Radiohead.

I was hoping it was him that wrote one of the reviews from pitchfork I actually get a laugh from, but it wasn't.

The review for "Tiny Music" by Stone Temple Pilots = I can't help but get a chuckle.

Though I admit to being in love with Stone Temple Pilots' last record (and to some extent, the record before that), there's nothing for sale at the Vatican Gift Shop but lousy, repetitive riffs, wimpy lyrics, and a drug-addled sonofabitch that should have OD'ed a long time ago. The only thing even vaguely appealing about this smelly hunk of digital turd, is all the heroin jokes it allows you to make up about Scott Weiland.

I don't know if you noticed this, but parts of the big hit single, "Big Bang Baby" are direct rip-offs of the old Rolling Stones tune, "Jumpin' Jack Flash," and they should have even known better than to steal lines from a song that is completely chiseled into every living person's brain. "Big Bang Baby / It's a crash, crash, crash." fuck you, Weiland. You suck so bad that even your band hates you. And after lousing it up your chances to open for Kiss on their reunion tour, who wouldn't?

Oh, other insightful lyrics on the record include "I Can't Walk / I Can't Talk / Booze / I Can Booze / Steal Your Shoes." He's a poet, and we don't know it. So, Scott, here's what you do: Get out of bed, tie yourself off, and fall directly into space forever. But don't just do it for yourself, do it for me.

-Ryan Schreiber

[hip hop bunny hop]

Originally Posted by BastardofYoung

Yeah, he wrote this hilariously awful review.
Radiohead: Kid A | Album Reviews | Pitchfork

This doesn't detract from my enjoyment of that Tool review at all, although I'd put Radiohead in the same category as Tool for sure.