Dead Or Alive? (rock, Kiss, quote, artist, song) - Music Banter Music Banter

Go Back   Music Banter > Artists Corner > Song Writing, Lyrics and Poetry
Register Blogging Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read
Welcome to Music Banter Forum! Make sure to register - it's free and very quick! You have to register before you can post and participate in our discussions with over 70,000 other registered members. After you create your free account, you will be able to customize many options, you will have the full access to over 1,100,000 posts.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-06-2005, 07:37 PM   #1 (permalink)
Make it so
 
Scarlett O'Hara's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 6,181
Default Dead Or Alive?

This is more of a poem, but it has song potential.

Can you figure out what it's about? If you can I'll give you a lollypop!

Alive

My heart is yearning, ripping apart with such fury that it explodes into a shower of blood red roses.

It colours the wind with its ink of pure pink; a heaven kissed feeling that cannot be mistaken.

A sword soars deadly into its base, all protection lost, like a black sky it ponders and waits.

The piercing screams of pain devour your ears; they get inside your veins and steal away your soul.

The pounding has stopped dead, the eerie silence is that stranger in the shadows, waiting, waiting...

Suddenly like a lightening crash, a deep choking, light blowing you away from every angle.

You feel your clothes being ripped off as tornado of delight throws you to your knees in defiance.

Looking up a crystal blue sea flows towards you, gently as golden angels lure it from there midst.

It flows through you, taking away your body and replacing it will pleasure, removing your eyes and sparkling in beauty.

Your heart is glorious in this mystical aura, it springs magic from your fingers, everything you touch, everytime you breathe.

White wings fly you, they soar you into an endless scene, you live, you die, you are ALIVE.
__________________
"Elph is truly an enfant terrible of the forum, bless and curse him" - Marie, Queen of Thots
Scarlett O'Hara is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-06-2005, 07:39 PM   #2 (permalink)
The Sexual Intellectual
 
Urban Hat€monger ?'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Somewhere cooler than you
Posts: 18,605
Default

It`s about feeling pleased with yourself after laying a huge turd isn`t it?

I claim my lollypop
__________________



Urb's RYM Stuff

Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave.
Urban Hat€monger ? is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-06-2005, 07:40 PM   #3 (permalink)
Make it so
 
Scarlett O'Hara's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 6,181
Default

Hehe, close, but no cigar!
__________________
"Elph is truly an enfant terrible of the forum, bless and curse him" - Marie, Queen of Thots
Scarlett O'Hara is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-07-2005, 03:29 PM   #4 (permalink)
Music Addict
 
riseagainstrocks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: DC
Posts: 3,320
Default

and you say my metaphors are off the wall.

good imagery though. couldn't really figure out what was going on however....
__________________
One note timeless, came out of nowhere...
riseagainstrocks is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-07-2005, 05:25 PM   #5 (permalink)
Nossey Hoe
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 54
Default

It makes me think of someone dying in the Middle Ages and then going to heaven. ^.^

For constructive criticism, sometimes saying "you" isn't a very good idea because you aren't sure the reader could connect with the poem, thefore it makes it have less emotion. If you took out you and just made everything a present tense, it would sound amazing. I'm not being mean though. Swear.

It was really good. I like your descriptions.
__________________

I'm on my knees, and so are you
Unfortunately for the wrong reasons.

Weebles wobble but they don't fall down!
Ginny is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-07-2005, 11:32 PM   #6 (permalink)
Make it so
 
Scarlett O'Hara's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 6,181
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by riseagainstrocks
and you say my metaphors are off the wall.

good imagery though. couldn't really figure out what was going on however....
Haha...what...what are you talking about...*eyes shuffle*

Ginny: Thanks love, I'll take that on board. I actually wrote this a year ago. I have no idea what my writing's like now. <---lazy.

It is about living, then dying then going to heaven, or for non-believers, "a special place". Nothing real out there.
__________________
"Elph is truly an enfant terrible of the forum, bless and curse him" - Marie, Queen of Thots
Scarlett O'Hara is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-2005, 05:18 PM   #7 (permalink)
Whitewater!
 
Merkaba's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 2,885
Default

Do you do really well in English at school?

Tis very artistic.
__________________
She thinks I'm a reclusive genius, she's going to be very disappointed when she finds out i'm a reclusive wanker
Merkaba is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-2005, 09:47 PM   #8 (permalink)
Make it so
 
Scarlett O'Hara's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 6,181
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Merkaba
Do you do really well in English at school?

Tis very artistic.
I do okay, I'm not so good at essays on books and movies, but rather, the creative side of it. Thanks though, maybe I might be inspired to write more sometime soon!
__________________
"Elph is truly an enfant terrible of the forum, bless and curse him" - Marie, Queen of Thots
Scarlett O'Hara is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2005, 06:22 AM   #9 (permalink)
They call me Tundra Boy
 
DontRunMeOver's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: In your linen cupboard.
Posts: 1,166
Default

Well I read this and thought it was about something entirely different.

'explodes'
'pure pink'
'sword soars deadly into its base'
'all protection lost' (you should never forget protection.
'feel your clothes being ripped off'
'taking away your body and replacing it with pleasure'

As Rolf would say - can ya guess what it is yet?
DontRunMeOver is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2005, 06:25 AM   #10 (permalink)
They call me Tundra Boy
 
DontRunMeOver's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: In your linen cupboard.
Posts: 1,166
Default

Taking away your body and replacing it with pleasure?

So this assumes that ones body is not pleasurable to begin with? And I wouldn't take so casually to having my eyes removed!

Its a great poem though, really liked it.
DontRunMeOver is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Similar Threads



© 2003-2024 Advameg, Inc.