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Old 11-02-2005, 06:34 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default In these solitary moments - don't be nice, any response is appreciated

In these solitary moments

The seconds of our lives
Which anticipate surprise
Never came so clear
As those which led me here
Our choices fell away
Drawn by the gravity of fate
As your breath upon my ear
Became a quiet serenade

Just rest your head upon this
Ordinary boy sat by your side
There’s no need for prayer
If you let your questions fade
If you hold my hand forever

For in these solitary moments we know
The sequence of events from the prologue to the close
Written in each other’s eyes
Like the stars which guide us home at night

Will you follow on this instinct
Caught in the river that it wends?
Are we on the cusp of greatness
Or is it all about to end?
Are you an unlit firework which rolls into the room
With the promise of excitement that never comes?
Promises turn into silences soon
Fireworks fade in the light of the sun

Just rest your head upon this
Ordinary boy sat by your side
There’s no need for prayer
If you let your questions fade
If you hold my hand forever

For in these solitary moments we know
The sequence of events from the prologue to the close
Written in each other’s eyes
Like the stars which guide us home at night

Could these be the answers?
Could this be the time?
Many paths we’ve walked to find we’re still alive
I will pinch myself to see if this is a reality
Or illusion shared together

For I can barely speak
Looking at you now
So much that could be said
But I don’t know how
To magnify the words
To make them suitable
For a true description
Of a sight so beautiful

For in these solitary moments I know
The sequence of events from the prologue to the close
Mapped out in the contour of your collarbone
Like the road which always leads me home

----

Do you like it? Tell me what you think.
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Old 11-05-2005, 10:39 AM   #2 (permalink)
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a few grammatical errors here and there, but all in all a nice piece. Good rhyming and use of words
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Old 11-06-2005, 12:40 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I liked it, I could almost hear it being sung in my head!
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