that was the best you got. the rest is just filler.

^funny. I thought those two lines were fillers, but I guess I was wrong. Care for a battle Johnny?

my beats are so tight they leave you with no place to go/ you can call me hoover dam cuz im stoppin ya flow/ just like the winnin blow in championship fight/ your raps are so boring they put me out like a light/ dont be steppin up to the plate if you aint ready to swing/ ill turn you black and blue like a flower in spring/ theres no time like the present if youre lookin to battle/ when im done youll be runnin away like a heard of cattle/ youre all just jealous of my crazy mad skills/ you can call me a coldfront cuz im givin yall chills/ im crossin your name off the list with a pad and a pen/ its my time now youre nothin but a has-been/

I take a break, now everyone thinks they got skill/
that is until, I drill their grill, and fill the bill with more heat than Brazil/
that’s right the champ is back and you better believe/
that messin with me is a sure way to end up deceased/
None of these kids are has beens, theyre all never will bes/
Theyre flows are more stale than last years Halloween candies/
Im the one that makes up new rules just so I can break them/
Violence, disorder, confusion and mayhem/
Think about runnin your mouth but should button up that lip/
This games been flipped, all yall’s status been stripped/
Italian suites, rolex watch, platinum .357 at the hip/
Shoes – alligator, 22 karat gold tipped/
Lookin like the pimp cuz the pimp hand is strong/
Thought you had your moments but they were mine all along/
Smokin like tommy chong/
Watch the ladies lose their thongs/
When I step into the clubs they be all over me/
Ya, your girl too, wetter than the Mediterranean Sea/
Sippin on Hennessy, an MC to the highest degree/
A lyrical killer going on a murder spree/
So think you got rhymes than holla on back/
Ill use you and abuse you like a hooker on crack/
Boyyyyyy!!!!

Fenix, this is your grammy award for best rap

:love:

you rule, nigga

http://www.nebraskagolfclassic.com/G...ion/grammy.jpg

the heat is on muthafuka,lemme introduce myself,
i'm the man that take ole geezers like yaself
put em on a shelf,
lock that **** and throw 'way the key
highheat, dats me, the one who put the sizzle in ya chicken
i been watchin an' waiting while ya'll honkys been debatin
the best rapper on MB be fenixpunk ya meeaan?
bull****, brother got skill but he aint swingin,
halfbaked bringin rhymes so tight yo ears be ringin
with all ya;ll fake ass wanksta wannabe highest MC excrement
i come on stronger than 10 shots of jack and 13 vicodan,
don't need no grammy just yo mammy and that KY ****,
bring her back to ma pad, she call me dad, get ontop of it,
BITCH! cas when HB rollin, ya'll are holdin
hands cas you can't stop the heat
sit me next to fitty an' game, i make 'em look weak
you must trippin if you thinkin that **** is sleek
from where i'm sittin i be ****tin on yo alligaotr sneeks,
ladies lose they thongs when you come on, cas they faint at the sight
of a wannabepimp actin fool who straight out they night-
mares, and they scared, they wake up in yo trunk wit no underwear
open up its fenixpunk, he got you "floss" in his teeth
now ya felt the heat, burned in defeat
all ya can do is beat ya meat suckin yo fav treat from a goats teet on the street, as you meet and greet.......
the new guns, H-to the bizzo, now watch this one go,
officer arrest me now fo bein the shizzzzzoooooo.

haha Fenix I read your verse again after the last line and totally imagined Flav sayin those lines. damn

now who you callin old? you see i need no introduction/
and if thats how you flow then prepare for a concussion/
call yourself half baked but i can see your bowl is cashed/
watch everybody gather around to watch me put my foot up your ass/
think youre really rollin but i just stole your schwin/
now go back to your homework before it happens again/
Ive never been beat, never been burned/
you say youve read the thread then you should of already learned/
think youve got heat but im a mother fuckin volcano/
10 shots of Jack? shit, this honkey drinks draino/
try fuckin with me and Ill roll ya like play doh/
leave you with a john doe tag on your big toe/
you don’t come close kid and now youre seeing red/
thought you had a chance but you got beat down instead/
stomped on your flows like a boot to the head/
got your gramma spread in a hospital bed/
we got in on till she bled/
right before she gave me head she said I owned you in this thread/
I know it drives you insane, but I ended her pain/
With one quick swipe to her jugular vein/
and before you complain, let me add a little insight/
Just walk away now, youre not man enough for this fight/
so come back again when you can fit in your drawers/
i hear youre mommy calling she says its time to do chores/
now be a good little boy and do what youre told/
youve got no business in the rap game, youve got to know when to fold.

lets see this thread sky rocket again/
now that hobo is back from the dead/
with new skills and talents that you ain't ever saw/
i pop out of my coffin and watch the jaws hit the floor/
someone said I'm hobo the clown so lets entertain/
bursting out of your monitors and computer mainframes/
here to maintain/
here to sustain/
the rep of being the best rapper to have blood in his veins/
fell so many times but always get back up again/
cos this hobo aint meant to be ignored/
he's meant to be holding a medal and hear the crowd roar/
give you the death sentence like I'm in law/
blow you out like we're in war/
just got them skills that you gotta adore/
cos now I'm spitting like its meant to be/
you got 2pac biggie then a picture of me/
Don't disrespect or take offense/
if i hurt your girls back then it weren't meant/
i just love to love my gift from above/
i turn water to wine and rats into doves/
Hobo, Fenix and half-baked/
Good, Bad, Ugly mate/
I desire to not expire/
so lets start the fenix and light the fire/
I like the fact that this thread died/
when Hobo weren't here to make the views rise/
you loved fenix but obviously he didn't sell/
so I'm glad I was hear for when the Fenix rised and fell....

Lookin up at me must be gettin aggrivating/
And if you really think ive fallen you must be hallucinating/
Your mind must be getting twisted from the lyrics im creating/
Your style is slipping, 0-7, no chance in hell of it flipping/
Maybe battle a lightweight before calling out the Ace/
Ill bite your ear off like Tyson and spit it back in your face/
Right before I take you out with a left - right combination/
Go find a tutor in hip-hop education before coming back at me with your sick fascinations/ Is it that Im your inspiration?/ fueling your motivation?/
I think you may have a problem, you need a medical examination/
Maybe a doc can explain why youre so obsessed/
always engaging in a battle you cant win, give it a rest/
you’ve given your best and it came up short/
sorry sport, but the ball is in my court/
and Im not giving up my title that easy just yet/
not to you, not to anybody, youre far from a threat/
keep battling me and get farther and farther in debt/
ive yet to break a sweat/ everyones got their money on me, cuz im the best bet/
I completely understand why you would be getting upset/
But you should weigh out your options, before doing something you regret/
My philosophy is this: work your way up through the ranks/
Youre comin at me gunnin, but your only shootin blanks/
So why waste your best efforts on someone you dont compare to?
Ive gone easy on ya till now, but my patience is about through//

I got the technique you speak/
Technique in bed your girls a freak/
for you the futures bleak/
for me its sweet/
spit rhymes with fire in my belly/
your rhymes so wet we need to wear wellies/
so good you'd think i was as black as kweli/
better beats than R. Kelly/
I put the key in my ignition/
set off on my mission/
shh... shh... listen/
these are the things you're missing/
If you want beef then we'll take it outside/
away from your ears and straight between your eyes/
next day listen to the news bulletin/
cos I got .45 and it's got bullets in/
ready to be fired/
your life has expired/
your beats are growing tired/
your teeth gonna be wired/
I understand why you wanna retaliate/
cos you know I'm the best there's no debate/
this is the ring and I'm the heavyweight/
heavens calling and boy you're late/
they waiting for you at the pearly gates/
I show you up like your Mom at the bar/
I fuck your girl then I smash your guitar/
Everyones got their fingers on the 9 ready to dial 11/
cos this shits over before its even begun/
the battles won/
your mouth is numb/
cos kid you've choked/
your wallets empty cos I made you broke/
Dude dont joke I aint aggrivated/
Im as excited as when I see your mama naked/
Now thats a low blow that you dont see in the ring/
thast one you see in politics-and I'm the king/
Move over cos Hobo's ready to finish/
destroy hobo and hav his rep diminished/
slower than a retard doing math/
quicker than me shooting up to the top of the class/
cos heres the rap battle 101/
never fuck with a hobo with a locked and loaded gun/
leave you sweating more than if you was on the Sun/
now hear em chant hobo cos the battles been won/

















See you thought hobo was gonna stop right there/
but then you scrolled down and now you're trembling in fear/
but this aint over I just keep going/
Like a freight train this hobo there aint no slowing/
your fans have died but mine keep growing/
growing and growing and growing till the worlds exploding/
all these rhymes that I'm here unloading/
and all these skills that here I be showing/
its like nuclear war hide under the tables/
leave your legs frozen to the spot like your disabled/
so board up your windows and lock your doors/
cos heres some talent that you aint seen before/
If you've looked at this thread before then of that I'm sure/
Your rhymes are torn and you're lines are flawed/
My gun may fire blanks but at least it ain't my cock/
my girl told me you couldn't get it up so you had to stop/
she came to me for some proper stuff/
she's meeting with me on friday cos she can't get enough/
and a little tip-she likes it rough/
she likes me being tough/
she told me you're a poof/
said you prefer to cuddle than go full on/
she was wondering what side of the fence you batted on/
The only MC you'll see is in front of donalds/
And while you're there say hi to Ronald/
Do people mistake you for a clown cos you're so damn white?/
Well everyones heated up cos I'm putting this honky right/
I pulled the Fenix down when he was about to take flight/
I've already fucked his MILF I got his girl tonight/
So beat this 2 verses to witness/
2 times the power means I'm back in business/
ready to own Fenix then walk away and dismiss this/
leave him in a coffin and steal all his riches/
Take on all rappers and make them my bitches/
cos you all got style but that style has got glitches/
and those glitches exposed for all to witness/
cos I'll leave you praying and preaching more than Hari Krishnas/
and you will all regret the day you fucked with hobojesus...

Time to take this hobo and throw him back into the gutter/
No need to repeat myself, you heard me right, I didn’t stutter/
So watch how its done, cuz im making this a reality/
Not gonna claim I banged your chick cuz im not into beastiality/
And ill leave your mom alone cuz I don’t like to wait in line/
Instead ill bash you with my flows while i continue to be the one who shines/
Theres no stopping me now so try and keep up with the pace/
Its time for me to wipe that retarded grin off your face/
2 flows in a row, wow, youre still a welfare case/
A disgrace/ still ending up in last place/
Your flows stumble so much we should call you hobo the klutz/
You want some advice? GET OFF MY NUTTS!!/
Go back to your pretending that your packin mad guns/
momma said youll shoot your eye out so she wont buy you one/
And while your playin cops and robbers with the other kids on your street/
Ill wait for someone with some skills cuz your too easy to beat/
Admit defeat/ the evidence is as solid as concrete/
Fenixpunk - undefeated, hoboklutz youre flows depleted/
(said some nasty shit right here) but its deleted/
cuz i felt bad for the way youve been mistreated/
my rhymes are hot, theyre superheated/
i could go on, but it would sound conceited/
Theres no need for a second verse when I cant be dethroned/
So ill end this shit right now cuz once again you’ve been owned/

I'm the rap equivalent of Einstein/
Except I don't excel in Science, I excel in rhymes/
and remember they timed/
to explode at any time/
so don't dismiss/
when you can't touch this/
I'm on the pedestal at number one/
the same number one you're trying to knock me from/
But I don't budge/
I stick like Fudge/
don't try and beat me/
cos you can't see me/
I seem to be climbing like I'm on the rocks/
I'm shaking my cage and I'm breaking the locks/
You're rattling from your hair to your socks/
you can't break out of this trap like you can't Fort Knox/
this is the apocolypse that the Bible told you about/
The end is nigh so deliver before your time runs out/
you got a couple of minutes before I close the book/
and disregard you as a kid who couldn't rap for ****/
You're about to be just a worthy opponent/
someone who turned up but couldn't seize the moment/
while you only chatter-I'm the one who owns/
and you wanna know? I got more guns that Leon./
I could pull this trigger and you're head would be gone/
I could have you on your knees, your tongue cleaning my chrome/
I got the power and the money, just so you know where I'm coming from/
Time to realise that I'm totally different from you/
If I got a problem I solve it-don't slit my wrists like you do/
So while you're out in your black T with your Emo crew/
Thinking about how much of this battle true/
just remember/
you got destroyed by a new member/
the first to put the /'s on the end of my verses/
that you now use at the end of your mindless curses/
i didn't need to write two verses I could own you in one/
but I thought I may aswell while I was on the run/
and when I'm running it's always through you/
straight through-leave you colder than if you had the flu/
so hobo wins again, tell me what's new?/
Now I've got better, hopefully you will too/
cos I need competition/
to stop repitition/
every battles a demolition/
I'm launching an expedition/
to find someone else/
who can lend Fenix help/
he can't do it on his own/
when he's too busy getting boned/
so who's gonna fill in when Fenix is put out/
we need a new kid who ain't afraid to run their mouth/

I'm hoping to move this thread to the General music forum. If someone helps me do this, then this thread will now appear in general music. If you see this thread closed, then you know why.

EDIT: Right so I take it this thread isn't being closed... well I think I've changed my mind anyways. I'll just put this in my sig so it gets some popularity-we need more people posting in this! If anyone reads this can they please delete the General Music rap battles.

I don’t need help, I run alone/
An army of one and harder than stone/
A breath of originality, while youre just a clone,
Ive heard it all before the way you bitch and moan/
Kneeling at the foot of my throne, hoping ill throw you a bone/
With your imitation cologne and no skills of your own/
Following fenix like youre my own personal sheep/
You try to compete but everytime I go deep/
Putting subliminal thoughts in your subconscious mind/
Pulling the wool over your eyes make you think you were blind/
Silence every word that you speak till you think youre a mute/
Then laugh in your face with a middle finger salute/
My flows are like razors slice your eardrums till your deaf/
Then chop you and dice you quicker than a 5 star chef/
Spittin rhymes faster than a tommy gun, I cant be outdone/
Im impervious to pain while you sit there in agony/
Broken and battered from the beaten you’ve got from me/
Leave you lookin like youcame from a concentration camp/
You messed with the champ, I sealed your fate with my stamp/
My styles, my flows, my knowledge of hoes,
the way I wear my clothes, none of it can ever be duplicated/
you can try and imitate it/
but I outshine everytime with the verses im creating/
ill write your first line for you so take out your pen-

“damn that guy fenix keeps beating me again and again…”

Beaten? No man I ain't even phased/
I can run through you again and again and still not be dazed/
check out your flows they as ugly as your wife/
I'll leave you crying so much you'll be reaching for the knife/
You'll be on your knees saying you've had enough/
tears leaving your eyes and wetting your face muff/
This is the time where you leave the room/
get up, go out, I'm sure we'll meet soon/
How longs it been since you last replied?/
You was away for that long I thought you might have died/
So you come back and then think you can challenge me?/
Well I'm trice as strong, and more of a beast than your f*cking goatee/
So you say you're a mod, well you'll have to ban me/
You can't have a kid on this forum who can beat you so easily/
I'll think you'll find thats another point to me/
Another one, I'm on a killing spree/
So that's your last breath, and don't return/
you spent to much time away, I hope that's a lesson learned...

ive spent some time away cuz i gotta make that bank/
not that you would know what thats like, youve got momma to thank/
a point for you? um lets see..no/
get me started and just see how far this hoodlum will go/
you should of taken the time i was gone and studied/
instead of kissing ass in the lounge cuz now your left bloodied/
ouch, you dissin my wife, dont sweat it/
if i was to take this seriously youd think twice and regret it/
leave you with more viruses than your mom spreads in a day/
your trying to be hardcore, but comin off like youre ***/
one day you might grow up and grow facial hair like me/
it grows on your chest and your balls, watch, youll see/
then you wont be lookin like a 12 yr old skank/
used up and discarded, youve got me to thank/
youve been beaten retarded if you think you can hang/
i run with 602, hillbillys in GA aint no thang/

Fenix replied! My God celebrate/
I'm so excited, tell your wife to help me masturbate/
I need four hands to get the full pleasure/
you don't believe me? Here's a ruler, measure/
My Mom spreads viruses? Nah, I don't think so/
don't forget you're the one that married a ho/
Maybe YOU should think twice before messing with my flow/
You'll send me a virus just because you've been shown/
now take my advice while you still can/
stop thinking about hard drives, mega bites and RAM/
cos there's time and a place for rapping so mild/
And what's that place? Well it's called 8 mile.

why always jackin off, thats right, cant get none/
make sure the door is locked, and clean up when your done/
dont want momma findin stains on yer sheet/
or walkin in on ya while your poundin the meat/
shed have daddy sit you down and teach you about birds and bees/
"this is where babies come from hobo, now get down on your knees"/
i guess getting molested will cause you to become a chronic masturbator/
i wouldnt know, been gettin laid since i was a 5th grader/
while i was bangin the teacher, you was gettin banged by the preacher/
while im gettin head in my boat, youre takin a load down your throat/
i roll on dubs with a system thats bumpin
while you ride a schwinn and peak when your parents are humpin/
tryin to get a glimpse of what grown ups do past your bedtime/
cuz momma put a parental block on your comp when youre online/
saw you lookin up ghey porn and swore it would be the last time/
dont feel bad everybodys not doing, despite what you hear/
well, ok, everyone but you, but thats no reason to go queer/
and if you enjoy all the **** in the ass that youve got in the past, good for you/
theres clubs and meetings you can go where people support you/
im sure theirs plent in GA so they wont be hard to find/
just look for the rainbow flags on the sign/
now you cant look me in the eye cuz you know its all true/
ive exposed hobo like your daddy exposes himself to you/
id call the cops on the douche bag and cut of his manhood/
but it seems to me you like it, so go on, its all good.

Never thought I'd do this, but I'm backing down. I have nothing to say to that. You have actually managed to infect me with writers block. Got to give you my respect there, I have been beaten. Even though that s**t ain't true by the way-read my name, I'm freakin Jesus! The priests suck MY dck!

my technique is insaciable/
my lyrics are irreplacable/
my pool of rhymes is olympic size/
youre still swimmin' in a kiddie pool/
youre nothin but cheap plywood with a mahogany finish/
but im droppin' more bills than ted kennedy in the senate/
this aint east coast, west coast, dirty souf, or hotlanta
but youre fixin' to get your bell rung worse than a salvation army santa/
cuz im reppin' mid-MO ive got my money on the line/
f**k biggie or 2pac im the best rapper of all time/
ive been gone for a minute i was takin' a little sabatacle/
now im puttin' an end to your games like jesus in the tabernacle/
i write more essays than a mexican pen pal/
your rhymes got me rollin' on the floor like a pentacostal revival/
im under your skin worse than a prison tattoo/
youre about to get owned like a plantation jiggaboo/
like a pair of rabbit ears im altering your perception/
the name oojay will never leave your reccolection/
im in the subconscious of your mind/
you all are two of a kind/
youre flavors of the week/
im the greatest of all time/
cuz you just wanna corrupt me and disrupt me but theres no way you can even touch me cuz you disgust me you better trust me if you wanna f**k with me youre gonna get busted

Nice to see someone replaced me that quick... I never even got a leaving party, cake or anything...

:laughing:

Yes you did. And Fenix delivered it.

Fine. I'll take my cake and eat it. After that I'll make my bed and lie in it.

booo
 

19 pages of incredible rhymes its scotlands turn so turn back the time / for every line that iv ready iv wasted my time you people think wat you got hear will make you " SHINE " /cuz i dont coming with your week ass rhymes im biggin up scotland its our turn to " SHINE " you people been hoggin the lime lite thats mines / everytime i say it you know that its true " scotlands the best our flags white and blue " / im from glasgow incase you didnt know , and yes us scots can bring the flow / so this rite hear is were it all stops cuz scotlands takin over you just got knocked off the top spot ...




------------------------------

ok ok my 1st attempt hear on this forum lol but i had give it a shot :ar_15s: heehee lets see whos got wat

Peace

DD

i see weve got a newcomer hes been biding his time/
ive got a feel for ya flow and a feel for ya rhymes/
now i see what youre made of/
i see that youre laid up/
im 'bout to splice you in half and reconfigure your genetic makeup/
this n00bs from scotland wavin the blue and white flag/
im reppin red, white, and blue you whiskey drinkin f@g/
your rhymin skills are weak i can tell that youre upset/
call me kaysar socze cuz i aint the usual suspect/
if you think youre on my level then you must be on the pipe/
its true what you hear about oojay/
you can definitely believe the hype/
it fits that youre from scotland cuz your raps cant even touch me/
just like the emerald isle i can see youre green with envy/

woot
 

look boi i think your confused like scotland winin the world cup / you should know by know scotland dont give a **** / we take control we never lose are you english or you just a fool / lets not take this personaly beef because we all know youll be the one left with no teeth / its Triple Cuttt invadin you street 6 fists yeh invadin your teeth / now about my genetic macup im not in to that **** an ill think youll find your there one that has to dress up / siting for hours in front of the mirror powderin your face / then you looked at ya self an chibed you face / we all know you got personal problems but dont tell us no more and we know some times you wish youd just drop dead on ur kitchen floor but enough of this **** cuz im startin to get board so after im done ****in your wife im going slam the door ....


LOL WTF meh wat can i say

Peace

DD

Now I may have backed down to one guy but don't think that's your cue/
to come on this forum bragging like all the noobs do/
cos now I'm back I'm not gonna let this go down/
without a last battle I still want to wear my crown/
I spent so long trying to regain crebility/
from my newcomer status now I've lost all sensibility/
if I had any cells I would have stayed away/
but I guess I don't so I'm back-hip-hip hooray!/
This is just a soundcheck-is this thing on? Testing.../
oojay your words are about as real as wrestling/
I may have lost the war, but dammit I won a few battles/
I few times Fenix was up in the corner with the death rattles/
So if I came that close to defeating a master/
Then you guys should know that you're going down faster/

shield your eyes from my shine its the return of the champ/
ya'll are bout to get f**ked like a flute at band camp/
the hobo's been beat not once not twice/
but he's never come up with a rhyme to suffice/
whether fenix or oojay it doesnt matter which/
at the end of the day he ends up the little b1tch/
making fun of wrestling?/
does that make you feel smart?/
you musta wrote that on your break from bagging at k-mart/
we've got newcomers n the scene/
they come from all over the map/
10 millon folks in scotland/
not a single one can rap/
youre embarrassing yourself by tryin'/
go back to chasin' rainbows/
when i unload my pile of rhymes youll end up just like the hobo/
those are the worst raps ive ever read/
all youre doin is hatin'/
i can see you need some help/
have you tried the Make A Wish Foundation?/
or maybe Hooked On Phonics?/
i hear that they work wonders/
you couldnt rhyme to save your life/
i see youre goin' under/
your flow is crooked like a discount ruler/
you tell her its 6 inches but you still cant fool her/
respond if you dare but at the end of the day/
the assassins on the loose so stay outta my way!

:rofl:

Hey Oojay’s “shining” like when he hugs men in a rasslin’ match
Was it shining from your bald head or shining from your bald snatch?
He shaved his whole person as part of a doctor’s prescription
To stop him from “unleashing piles” cos that’s one nasty affliction
Now Hobo may work packing bags to make dough
But that’s better than the bags Oojay pulls in an OAP home
He went to see his granny
But instead he found some fanny
They said that he looked innocent
But he was being canny
I asked him why he liked to mate
With chickens well past use by date
He said the stale piss smell, it turns him on
Keeps them wet and keeps his legs warm
But let’s not laugh, love comes in all forms
Just hope he’s not still at them once they’ve gone to the worms
I’m gonna poke fun at wrestling instead
At those guys with massive arses and teeny-tiny heads
Where give themselves silly names and prance around in spandex
Then cuddle up tight and grope each others man-breasts
Oojay’s so besotted with something so homo-erotic?
There’s undercurrents with this guy I think you might have spotted…

DRMO and hobo rocking the scene/
pleasing your ears and making your moms fanny gleam/
I'm spitting rhymes like a rapping machine/
this is a beating like you ain't never seen/
but you won't see it you'll feel it in your bones/
but now the bone you get when your down the old folks home/
DRMO said it best/
you like old women's breasts/
so may I suggest/
your Mom has a fine chest/
We get on the bed and pull off a few moves of our own/
the Cumplex, deepthroat slam and the mighty bone/
I let her pin me down and I let your Dad count to 3/
He said your mom was off limits but he made an exception for me/
So don't cry, here's a tissue wipe them tears/
and you can reuse that tissue for later, when you're thinking of queers/
cos we all know that oojay likes sweaty man boobs/
he likes to watch man love then slap on the lube/
he tries to jump in but they just push him away/
He thought he might get some action if he turned into a ***!/
But even they don't like his kind around here/
If you're ugly you're ugly-don't matter if you're straight or queer/
So this is it now don't come back for more/
this is MY house and I've just shown you the door...

its time to knuckle up/
you niggaz better buckle up/
i see the fear in your eyes every time that i pass/
you make one false move and i'ma whoop your a$$/
ill break you and shake you/
theres no question that i can take you/
im sorry about last night/
did me and your mama wake you?/
now shes walkin' funny like a pirate with a peg/
youre goin' nowhere in life like a dog with one leg/
youre still makin' fun of wrestling?/
those rhymes are gettin' old/
ive seen the cards that youre holdin'/
i think its time for you to fold/
just 'cuz you can rhyme 2 lines doesnt make you a rapper/
i see youre fulla $hit but that doesnt make you a crapper/
but if youre callin' out and you wanna throw hands/
youd better think twice/
youd better talk to my fans/
whether in the ring or on the mic nobody can beat me/
many have tried but no one can defeat me/
ill have you walkin' with a limp just like a rock in your shoe/
youre about to get burned like a 1940's jew/
i can see you pickin' up chicks
"hey baby whats your sign?"/
"can i buy you a drink?"/
"your place or mine?"/
im about to rearrange your face like a brazillian plastic surgeon/
i just read your autobiography its called the 40 year old virgin/

i wrote this a while ago its not that good.. but me and my friends funny as hell.. or hearing me rap was funny as hell.. either way here it is
i'm not sure how this thing Rap Battles works.. so i going to post it for the hell of it.. hmm so one can inform me of whatever after words..

They call me pornstar
they say i'm hot
lil do thay know i smoke the pot
they call me sexy
cause i'm a blonde
but they don't hear me when i sing the song
i play the games
like the players do
but listen
i won't play you
i'll rock your world
you'll be screaming my name
but if we get caught
don't gimmie no blame
i'm here for you
i ain't in it for rules
i ain't in it for heart break
i wore those shoes
cause i'm the chick
i ain't in it for cocks
i just want some lovin
but you got my heart baby
so don't give me no change
you got me for free
no gold no money i see
i ain't about all that shit
cause i ain't like that stupid bitch

MOMMA said be a doctor
She always though I’d make a good GP
But when there’s a bug around I’m always first to get it
That’s why I’d never want to be a medic
POPPA said be an accountant
Because looking after money will make you rich
But all those numbers make my eyes itch
I’ll never sail the wide accountancy
My BROTHER said start up a website
Become a dot com business type
But HTML is my idea of hell
Me and computers don’t get on very well
YOUR MOTHER says I should be a pornstar
And I have to say that I agree
After I’ve got the tools
A twelve inch knob and massive balls
Getting laid can be my trade
Two hundred pounds an hour just for humping away
Easy work
With plenty of perks
You meet a lot of girls and don’t have to wear a shirt

For Oojay
 

Mocking wrestling’s getting old?
No way, that joke will last forever
There’s no way we’re gonna shut up
About your greasy-men endeavours
You say that you can ‘take’ me?
What, like you ‘took’ those other guys?
The time you couldn’t see for two weeks when they squirted in your eyes?
Took them round the bike shed when you didn’t own a bike
Offered them a can of coke, they didn’t know it was spiked
Smeared the jelly on your thumb and put it where you liked
I’ve never seen someone use a rap to make a pass
I guess you’re getting frisky, said you’re gonna “woop my a$$”?
Too right I’m getting scared, your sexual preference is unsettling
You’re eyeing up my ring, and I don’t mean wrestling
Hahaha, you and my momma, she was out last night fool
But my grandmother was in, it was her that you screwed
If you can call it screwing – she described this “tiny little winkle,
That tried to come in, but couldn’t make it past the first wrinkle”

If you can count then add up this sum/
oojay we got you outnumbered-2 to 1/
we got you cornered this battle ain't no longer for fun/
you're just a peashooter-we are the real guns/
don't hate cos this is what we do/
make up incredible rhymes, post them then bully you/
go run to your mommy, crying with your thumb in your mouth/
and while you're at it ask her if its still wet down south/
don't worry if you don't understand, you're still only young/
you don't need to know that your Moms got my love milk in her lungs/
just carry on finger painting, its nap time oojay-SLEEP!/
your Moms been around son-she's made my d1ck weep/
I heard that she stands on corners pulling truckers/
transexuals, lesbians, all sorts of motherfuckers/
she don't care she's just expressing her womanhood/
she don't care who packs the meat, she can close her eyes then it's all good/
she had me, your aunt, then DRMO/
I hate to break the news kid but yo mammas a ho/
she does thing that you probably don't want to know/
she goes places where no other girls will go/
son your Moms special-special needs/
it took me 5 seconds before she was down on her knees/
she was licking the meat like it was a fucking ice cream/
she shined it so much I looked like Mr Sheen/
Now kid I don't want to disrespect your Dad/
but your Mom said I was the best that she's ever had/
so now I'm ready, I've polished up my head/
I'm going on a field trip-between your Moms legs...

im the lyrical assassin/
ill cut you so fast you wont know what happened/
im about to turn your grin into a frown/
like a blind man on an elevator you wont even see whats goin' down/
just like a waitress at denny's im leavin' you a tip/
if you mess with me then jay-z wont be the only one with a fat lip/
im like an alchemist cuz everything i touch turns to gold/
your rhymes are so old the motherf**kers are growin' mold/
why didnt you tell me your mama was ugly?!/
i was in her window sneakin' a peek/
the difference between your mom and a bag of trash/
at least trash gets taken our once a week/
youre stuck in one place like an exercise bike/
im like a crazy Arab cuz im blowin up the mic/
ill break you like a kit kat/
when a dozen shots leave my gat/
turn to your wife and tip my hat/
at the end of the night ill have my d1ck in her a$$/
just cuz you may think so doesnt mean youve won the battle/
me losin' to you is like "the bus" losin' to seattle/
it aint never happenin'/
its nothin' but a dream/
you beatin' me is like gary coleman beatin' kareem/
remember this whoopin'/
write it down in your journal/
you may look fine right now/
but youre bleedin' internal/
how am i supposed to be scared of someone whos admitted defeat/
fenix got you first and now the torch is passed to me/

What you touch turns to gold?
Ah man, you could have warned us
When my granny turned yellow
We thought she had jaundice

:rofl:nice one