bungalow

Alrighty.
So, this is my first time puttin a song in here.
Im kinda nervous, but that is ok.
Here we go.

It has no title yet.
It is also incomplete, which is why Im putting it in here.
To get ideas on how to finish it.
This is most likely going to be done with a single acoustic guitar.
It is a "folky" song, or at least I want it to be.
It is missing something. I dont like the way some of it is worded.
Any help is appreciated.

here we go

I don't want to be around you
But at the same time, yes I do
Now you can see with your own eyes
All the choices I'm put through
But the drinkin' isnt helpin' cause I'm still so in love with you
I'll go walkin out the front door prayin' you'll let me come back through

How can you say its ok
That I'm tangled up in you
I'm leavin' in the morning
I thought you should know that we are through
I'll say all of my goodbyes then there is nothing left to do
I'll make my way out the back door just to come crawlin' back to you

I've been standing in the cold rain
Do you think you could let me in
Just don't mention last weekend
I dont want to get started on this again
'Cause no matter how good an argument it seems I never win
Then I'll make my way into your arms and we can....start all over again


ok, thats it.
It doesnt really have a solid ending which is something that I want to fix.
And, any suggestions for a title are appreciated.

sleepy jack

Its pretty weak.

I don't want to be around you
But at the same time, yes I do

It just bugs me, i can't really think of anything to fix it though..

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bungalow

ok.
dont give me input.
i dont care.
in other words BUMP

either/or

hey i liked it. i can relate to the line of not wanting to be around you but also at the same time wanting to. like you know you have to get over a girl and in some way you wish you'd never see her again but your kinda addicted to her.

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Painstaking devotion and love
Surrendered to self preservation
From others who care for themselves
A blindness that touches perfection
But hurts just like anything else

Isolation, isolation, isolation

Crazy Luv

i like it too. It shows what...almost,most ppl. are going through in a relationship. Do you get what im trying to say?

creepinson

yo bill, if you post your songs here, expect them to get critted... i dont care who you are you need some freakin input... the songs not perfect, and shruggin it off like that and just waiting for someone to say they love it is no way to become a better writer... d|ck

(banned i am... yesss)

bungalow

I think you misunderstood what I said.
I said

Because nobody was giving it input, you know, no one was even posting in it, not because Alexisonfire said he didnt like the one line.
You took it out of context, therefore I will forgive you but.....dont be a dickhead or everyone will hate you

creepinson

meh youre still a d|ck... i dont like you and your song sucks

bungalow

Oh, well
In that case I hate you too.

sleepy jack

TIMEOUT!
Go to your corners
Creepinson just leave the thread if you don't like the song thats all you had to say.
Alex let it go.

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