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Old 01-17-2006, 03:25 PM   #1 (permalink)
[[la de da diddy da]]
 
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Default A Dance To Save

*no music…just talk*

I’m not asking for forever
I’m asking for a dance.

*music starts in*

I’m asking for a dance to save a lifetime
A dance to save the all tears
A dance to save the laughter of some odd years

I’m asking for a final dance
For the annual inauguration
Of years of devotion

I’m just asking
…for a dance.
A dance to save my sanity
A dance to save our humanity
A dance to reassure me
A dance to damn-near cure me

We dance for salvation
We dance to save our humanization
We dance to save our tears
We dance to save laughter of some odd years

*music fades out*

I’m not adking for forever.
I'm asking for a dance.
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Old 01-17-2006, 03:37 PM   #2 (permalink)
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oh my what is with the end? that's wierd and slangy and ruins the whole thing.
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Old 01-17-2006, 03:38 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I was iffy about that...Im changing it.

Overall what do you think?
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Old 01-17-2006, 03:39 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by madeinNY
*no music…just talk*

I’m not asking for forever
I’m asking for a dance.

*music starts in*

I’m asking for a dance to save a lifetime
A dance to save the all tears
A dance to save the laughter of some odd years

I’m asking for a final dance
For the annual inauguration
Of years of devotion

I’m just asking
…for a dance.
A dance to save my sanity
A dance to save our humanity
A dance to reassure me
A dance to damn-near cure me

We dance for salvation
We dance to save our humanization
We dance to save our tears
We dance to save laughter of some odd years


*music fades out*

I’m not askin’ fer faever, babes.
I’m askin’ fer uh dance.

i like it. i just think you should take the part i bolded out.
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Old 01-17-2006, 03:40 PM   #5 (permalink)
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i can;t comment anymore. my eyes have become blind to all meaning behind words. i see everything in just letters now.
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Old 01-17-2006, 03:40 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by either/or
oh my what is with the end? that's wierd and slangy and ruins the whole thing.

hey, theres nothing wrong with slangy

but yea, you either do all "slangy" or none at all, i guess
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Old 01-17-2006, 03:41 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Really? why?

That was my favorite part...:[
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Old 01-17-2006, 03:42 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by either/or
i can;t comment anymore. my eyes have become blind to all meaning behind words. i see everything in just letters now.
thats so..deep.

Ah but you did read it and said the ending ruined the song, so you must've thought it somewhat good.
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Old 01-17-2006, 03:42 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy Luv
hey, theres nothing wrong with slangy
in this song it just seems like she's singing this song for her lover or whatnot, like beautiful words and then at the end she just turns....into a jive talking street whore or something ( no offense i couldnt think of any other analogy)
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Old 01-17-2006, 03:42 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I think the part that Cazy bolded was pretty cliche and I agree that it should be taken out
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